View Full Version : I need to know I am not alone.


NonSequitor
01-25-08, 08:07 AM
I have hit a wall.

I am coming to terms with illnesses that have plagued me my entire life. The novelty of being special and smart and different has officially worn off.

I can't verbalize (or write) anything but tears. My brain is so worn out, it has stopped trying to interpret. I cannot control my tears but just know that I need to know that I am not alone in this obscene journey through existence.

I feel like BP has highlighted the emotional instabilities that I have simply because I female and trying to coexist (and relate) with others. I feel like BP has exploited the irrationality that is feminine emotion.

Are there other women that are massively triggered by any small upset involving any relationship with signifigant others?

twirlywhirly
01-25-08, 09:08 AM
I'm not bp as such but suspected cyclothymia. I don't cope at all well with emotional upset. If my hubby and I are having issues I can go into a bit of a free fall and think it's the end of everything. I've lost track of the amount of times I've thought our relationship was over following a relatively minor problem. It just builds and builds and then I pop and sink into a black hole.

Not sure if this is how you feel or you can relate to it but it gets quite overwhelming at times.

I suppose one of the things I try to remember is this feeling will pass and I will come out the other side into the sunshine again.

~boots~
01-25-08, 09:11 AM
aww..hugs Ns..
xxx

lostranslation
01-25-08, 11:07 AM
I hear ya, and have done my share of wall hitting. It sucks. You're not alone. I am really struggling too... I can be massively triggered by strangers in other cars who get irritated at me.

I'm not liking my life at all right now... but, even though I hate it, (and me, sometimes) I still gotta keep going.

And then there's the female stuff. It's just really hard sometimes.

Sorry I'm not much help... but at least we are not alone with this.

NonSequitor
01-25-08, 01:40 PM
I am definitely BP2 and cycle rather rapidly. I totally identify with thinking the world is going to end along with my relationship everytime something minor happens.

I feel retarded because the same thing happens every time where I freak out and get hysterical and exacerbate the situation. My relationship is never over but I can't seem to stop resorting to insanity. It totally defies any logic and I wish I could stop.

NonSequitor
01-25-08, 01:49 PM
On a good note, my mom is saving me. Again. At 26.

I have no insurance or job, and *surprise!* no money. My mother (who also has ADD but not BP) sees the same doc I did and after seeing her has decided to go for broke and not only pay for a med appt and meds, but pay off the $300 I still owe my doc.

I am so lucky and don't feel like I deserve this but hopefully my life is about to change for the better.