I know this is kind of irrational since I know I need it and I never exceed my dose, but still...

Like today I needed to get some work done, and I told myself I can't do it until I take my dexamphetamine! And I was relieved once I took it. I get anxious with what ifs sometimes "What if my doctor decides to take me off of it? How will I ever survive?" etc.

I only take 25 mg of dexedrine a day. (15 mg in the morning, 10 in the afternoon -- but I change around my dosing based on what I'm doing during the day) But I still feel kind of 'bad' about taking it. I mean, it IS legal speed and it IS addictive.

Anyone else relate to this feeling?

Maybe it's because I'm in my early stages of treatment (been on it for a little over a month) so taking it is new to me.

:DI'm in your exact situation. Only recently diagnosed and began treatment a month or more ago. I take up to 40mg of dexamphetamine across 24 hours but im allowed to take up to 50mg if i need it. So imagine how i feel. I slowly moved up to this dosage.

The thing that has helped me with the thoughts of feeling like a druggie is that... Drugies usually crush and snort them or they crush it and swallow it, some even put the pills up their @$$. Beleive it or not, but some will go to the length of using 'pill filters' and injected them.:eek: Truck drivers abusing them take like 5 tablets at a time to avoid sleep and stay focused on the road. People at raves have been known to take between 5 and 10 for non stop dancing.

So when i think about it, taking 2 or 3 dexamphetamine pills to help my mind focus and think like a human mind was intended, doesnt seem to bad. I just think of someone taking 10 of them so they can dance longer. My mind needs it in small amounts to function closer to 'normal'. They dont need it at all and are taking it in amounts that would be damaging their bodies, just so they can dance longer.

That coupled with the fact that on days that i choose not to take it, i dont slip into any kind of withdrawal.

On the other hand however i find that thinking of them as my 'little helpers' that give me a mental edge over those sitting beside me in class helps ease a bit of guilt. I just keep it in my mind, once i over step that 50mg a day mark, im abusing them and should be called a junkie because im not taking them legally.

My main problem is worrying about what the dexamphetamine is doing to my body. Expecially my heart because i feel it beating hard sometimes, which causes anxiety, which makes it beat harder. Knowing that dexamphetamine has caused instant death in people with heart problems is extremely worrying also.

I guess i know, well have been told by my doctor that under 50mg a day the health risks and addiction potential are basically negligible.

Its just one of those things tho, the thoughts still occur no matter how much i convince myself that taking dexamphetamine is ok. Even when a doctor has prescribed it and reassured me.

Another thing that comes to mind is that when people with A.D.D. abuse stimulants like amphetamines, including methamphetamine and coccaine they actually get a drastically reduced effect from it and very little euphoria.

Someone i know ;) who had undiagnosed A.D.D. had yawning fits following their first time on methamphetamine. They found themselves intensely relaxed in comparison to friends who were overstimulated. One friend made a joke that maybe they had A.D.D. 6 months later there was a diagnosis and treatment that worked. They had A.D.D. It also eradicated an intense 'depression' they were going through that antidepressants couldnt budge.

So i guess i shouldnt feel like a druggie for taking something medicinally that wouldnt get me high anyway. I guess the bottom line is that doctors are trained professionals and wouldnt be prescribing things that werent warrented in any given situation.


:confused:
*shrugs*

I don't usually give it a second thought, until I have a day like today:

I had to take a pill for my migraine. One extra pill in my day sets off a thought hurricane:

Take daily Adderall for ADD. walked past box of fish oil/omega 3 supplements that I'll take later with lunch. Anticipate start of birth control pills that aren't for pregnancy avoidance.
Ponder the pills I'll likely have to start should adderall cause anxiety. Will that mean I have to back on zoloft?

I start to think, "how is it that I have to take all this just to be a normal, functioning member of society? "

Then, the headache is gone, the adderall has kicked in and I'm working, and later when I'm burping fishy burps and laughing about it, I'll forget what a freak of nature I am, and likely blog something totally stupid that makes me smile. :p

I take my meds for the sole purpose of relief from symptoms and to control how long I focus and what I focus on.

I was a junkie when I used to smoke crack cocaine and tiptoed around the house after being awake for a week because I thought the cops were outside eavesdropping and still proceeding to smoke more crack.

See the distinction.

^Moral of the story... dont smoke crack. Cant help but find it funny tho.

Same with the multipal medication thing, but im used to it, im pretty bad i think theres a pill for everything. Today for instance 1 dex, 1 epilim, 1 zyprexa, 2 chantix, 1 multi, 1 b complex, 1 tyrosine, 2 vitamin c ok ill stop there...

is this bad? i mean most of them are good for me.

Anyone else relate to this feeling?

Most definitely, I can relate to this. I've been taking either Adderall or Dex (off and on... mostly on :p) for almost four years now and I *still* have these feelings.

There is only one good friend of mine who knows that I take Dex. My family doesn't even know. My Mom knew that I was taking Adderall at one point and she made me feel like crap about it. The media, especially stuff like Dateline, 20/20 and stuff give those drugs such a bad rep, and my Mom just ate it up. :rolleyes: I guess you could say I'm one of those kids who always looked to please mommy and daddy. I'm 26 and I still care what my Mom thinks. I don't *lie* to her about taking Dex. I just don't say *anything* about it. She doesn't ask and I don't tell.

Anyway... Sorry, got off on a tangent there. One thing that made me feel better about it is talking to my doctor. I told him flat out that I was worried about dependence/tolerance to the drug. He made me feel a lot better about everything. Actually, I believe I posted something after that appointment. Hmm... might have to look that up now.

:D

I know what you mean. That's why I rarely take the full dose prescribed (5g of dex 3 times). I usually take one or two, and skip it days I don't have to.
I asked my doc, and she said this was fine. :cool:

Yep...........Almost like I am cheating. I feel like I have an unfair advantage starting my day with a positive kick that most people don't get.........but then I realize most people are able to focus, organize and get things done in an orderly manner......! So am I a druggie????? Sure.....just like smokers, coffee drinkers and Red Bull guzzlers! When I feel bad, I just think that I am on the Meds to improve my life and my emotional well being. We all deserve to be happy and if these meds make our lives better and we are not abusing them, then so be it! I have yet to snort, shoot or have a ritalin all night dance party, so I think I am ok!

I totally don't feel like a druggie. Maybe it helps because I've always steered clear of street drugs and am only vaguely aware of how "feeling like a druggie" would be like .. to me it's just like any other med apart from that I have never experienced medication making so much difference.

The people at the pharmacy don't react odd either. Actually, the only one who *does* is my ex-gf / soon-to-be-ex-roommate who is constantly nagging me whenever she sees me take my meds .. says that I don't need them and that I was much nicer without them .. duh, she even thought of a new nickname for me when I'm on meds: "Bing Bong" .. while before I was "Spacy".

She also claims that she can see in my eyes whether I took Ritalin or Dexedrine. I think you can see at someone's eyes if they're on stims .. isn't it? But I think that what she says is (thinks of a suitable US slang word to insert here) poppycock* :cool: <-- (on a different note .. how come that sunglasses are associated with being cool ? I have always wondered about that. I mean, even on that pc game .. minesweeper .. where you had this little smilie thingie on top that was laughing if you did good and looked worried when you didn't .. and when you won the game it suddenly had these sunglasses on .. seemingy out of nowhere. Strange, innit.)

Ah well. I'm outta here soon enough.

* Oh. I think I got that word from an old Back to BC comic book that my dad had. So maybe it is very outdated.

I agree with Luthien - I don't feel like a druggie either - maybe because I know what addiction is - and I know I am not addicted to Adderall - I take 80mg a day some time 100mg - I forget to take the ADD medication all the time - hence it is 12 midnight and I am just now signing on - but had the computer on to log on sense 8:30pm - bong bong bong bounce - I wonder why I am having such a hard time sitting down in my computer chair . . .ohh look at the kitten isn't he . . . .Hey honey do you have any more candy kisses , have you seen my glasses oh my computer I turned it on because . . . .. my medication what medication. . . .

I am currently on my 11th day without cigarettes - now if I could have just forgotten to smoke like I forget to take my Adderall I wouldn't have had to spend $130.00 on Chantix and spent the better part of the past 11 days alternating between sleepy, duh, craving and wanting to kill some thing - man I hope menopause isn't this bad - geez.

I know addiction up close and personal and I know what with draw really is - so even if I felt like a druggie for taking Adderall before I wouldn't any more. . . .

Let's put this in perspective.

"Like today I needed to get some work done, and I told myself I can't do it until I take my migraine medication! And I was relieved once I took it. I get anxious with what ifs sometimes "What if my doctor decides to take me off of it? How will I ever survive?" etc."

"Like today I needed to get some work done, and I told myself I can't do it until I take my anti-convulsion medication! And I was relieved once I took it. I get anxious with what ifs sometimes "What if my doctor decides to take me off of it? How will I ever survive?" etc."

"Like today I needed to get some work done, and I told myself I can't do it until I take my immuno-suppressant anti-rejection medication from my kidney donation! And I was relieved once I took it. I get anxious with what ifs sometimes "What if my doctor decides to take me off of it? How will I ever survive?" etc."

Worrying about your medication is just as silly as the above scenarios.

I'm with you Luthien. I've always stayed away from street drugs so its hard to know what it "feels like". At the same time, I work in a very conservative field where "mental issues" are...avoided at best, taboo at worst.

So I hide my pills and so on...maybe I DO know what you mean?

I don't really feel like a druggie, but I am concerned about it since these medications do have the potential for abuse and dependence.

I've only been taking Ritalin for a month now, and we're still working on the dosage. On two occasions I've taken an extra dose during the day because my meds wore off before I had to do something mentally challenging that required a lot of focus.

My doctor told me to take a dose in the morning, and one at 3 pm. Well the one in the morning wears off before lunch so I take one in the morning, then one at noon. The second dose wears off a little before I leave work.

I feel kind of bad doing it, and I try to avoid things like this since I view it as a slippery slope.

I'm in a similar position Greenplasticme. I've been on Ritalin for about a month and my doc and I just upped me to 30mg 2x daily. We're going to try 20mg 3x as well. He said its kinda up to me how I distribute it through the day, but that keeping the overall amount fairly regular would help.

He *sounded* pretty strict about how much I get at a time, but then when we upped the dosage between visits and I was ten pills short, gave me 120 pills at once through the HMO pharmacy. Just sent the script through interoffice mail without even seeing me. Course, we were meeting a few days later, but still.