I'm pretty bummed out tonight. My daughter is in 7th grade and struggles significantly with school. She always has - since first grade. It has taken up 6 long years to get her tested for learning disabilities or associated disorder. It took a letter from my pediatrician urging the school to do this. Anyway, I have a follow up PPT meeting on Tuesday morning to discuss the findings - which were emailed to me this afternoon - 14 pages of clinical information.

It tells me that my daughter is highly intelligent but she suffers from inattentiveness, anxiety, and memory sequencing events. The ADD/ADHD Connor's assessment was completed by 6 individuals, wherein one teach reported zero issues - all other resported findings of ADD and ADHD behaviors.

The report says to seek medical evaluation - which I will no doubt do first thing Monday morning...but in the meantime, does anyone have children with this that can tell me what to expect - what will happen - will they treat her for all of this, what will the school do for her? I haven't told my daughter about the findings - I don't know what to say to her. I don't want her to feel badly. she keeps asking to read the report but I won't let her. thanks.

I say let her read it. It will let her know why she is struggling with school and let her know she's not dumb or anything. She will probably have some bad feelings but most of them will go away as you guys find ways to deal with the challenges that face her. If you act like it's a big deal then she will probably feel worse about it, like you didn't want her to find out she's a freak or something. If you want her to you can probably find someone who will give her meds to help her concentration and anxiety. And you, your daughter and the principle should talk about a 504 program for her to help her succeed in school. The school is required by law to do this so don't let them push you aside.

Oh boy. I've been in your shoes. My daughter is a 16 year old junior in HS now. She was diagnosed relatively early, though (3rd grade). She's been on meds since then with varying results. A lot of her issues seem to be exacerbated by what's going on in her interpersonal relationships. When she feels good about herself, she does better in school, is easier to get along with at home, is more sociable, etc. When she feels bad about herself - usually because of some stupid girl drama that she doesn't quite understand - things go down hill. We also went through a bad spell when her meds were all wrong.

We FINALLY got the school to do an evaluation this past year. They wouldn't give her an IEP (said she wasn't impaired enough) and are barely following our requests for assistance. I've asked for a 504 plan and haven't been able to get that yet. Every year, the administrators say, "lets try reminding her to turn in her work and we'll see how that goes. " (VERY frustrating) I wish you luck. Maybe your school district, or your daughter's particular school, are more willing to work with you. Ours won't even follow the recommendations of the district staff psychologist who did the eval!

My advice is to be patient with your daughter, but impatient with the people you have to deal with to get her the help she needs. She does things that will defy logic. You'll wonder why she won't do things that seem painfully obvious to you. She isn't acting this way to irritate you.

Junior high and high school will be much tougher for all of you than elementary school was. The kids are expected to act much more independently than most of ours are able to do. My daughter did pretty well academically until junior high.

Read through as many sections of these forums as you can. You'll get lots of insight from adults who survived their adolescents and AD/HDers who survived their adolescence; it will help you understand your daughter better. Read about different medication options. Most of the posts seem to indicate that the methylphenidate products (Ritalin, Concerta, Daytrana, Focalin) are better for the AD/HD-hyperactive types and the amphetamines (Adderall, Dexedrine, Dextrostat, Vyvance) are more effective with the inattentive types. My daughter was very hyperactive before puberty and the methylphenidates were a pretty good fit. Once she hit high school, she became less active and would now be categorized as combined (lots of inattentive behaviors, but still impulsive). We recently switched her to Adderall XR and it's made a world of difference in her mood, ability to act closer to her chronological age, ability to do schoolwork, etc.

I'm sure I'm rambling, so I'll stop now. I've posted quite a bit about my daughter's particular issues with meds (click on my screen name, then go to the statistics tab to find the posts of a user).

Just continue to love and support your daughter. She KNOWS she isn't like the other kids in many ways. Help her move forward from here.

Good luck to you and your family.

Hi. I haven't got kids so I can't offer that perspecive .. but your daughter sounds exactly like I was / am. So I can only say what what I think might have helped me. I would have been helped enormously had I known what it was that made me so different from other kids - and knowing that I was nevertheless loved, supported and valued for how and what I was.

What I mean to say is that I think it is much worse to feel different and not knowing why that is so .. than having explained that you've just got a slightly different sort of brain which may need some extra care. And that it definitely does not make you any less.

love & light,
~luthien

My daughter is in 7th grade too. Already in first grade, I began getting complaints from her teacher that she was just not doing well, at all. Bascially she would not apply herself, did not take school seriously, and just could not concentrate or recall a lot of the material she was taught. I love her so much and just wanted her to do her best. We spent hours at night doing homework. Sometimes I think back that maybe it's just that she is a KID and her own individual. School tends to think everyone can get A's if they try. Not so, we all have our own level of intellegence and needs. My son is 15 and she is 13. My son just recently started on Concerta. Right away he went from 30% to 95% with his grades. What a miracle. But I still don't LIKE the idea of drugs being given to our children. I feel like their juvinal brains are changing so quickly that drugs can only make it to develop differently. My daughter homeschools now so I am able to spend hours with her on just one math problem. She now knows more about basic chemistry than high school students. Soooo, I think a lot of it is how the school system puts so much pressure on the kids to learn THE SCHOOL'S way. But as individuals, we are just too small to fight the school system.

If others are reporting low scores or scores of "0" on the Conners inventory, I'd bet your child is an Inattentive.

Well-behaved, quiet, compliant, nice, ADHD [non-hyperactive!] girls get diagnostically missed ALL THE TIME.

[We wind up as the 20-60 year old women who battle chronic depression or anxiety issues, it seems.

Ofcourse we do: we have undiagnosed ADD. :S]

Diagnostic Issue:

Remember - there are Three possible 'Domains' for ADD/ADHD symptoms.

1. Hyperactivity (guess she doesn't have that),
2. Impulsivity (guess doesn't have that)
and
3. Inattention (sounds like she ONLY has that; for example the memory and sequencing (working memory) problems)

'Inattentive ADHDers' - only have the #3 symptoms.

Behavioural Scales look for "problem behaviours" like Hyperactivity and Impulsivity, so ofcourse your Daughter's Scores are LOW or non-existent. :(

So you can see how the INATTENTIVES are missed....

I would agree with what some others have said - let her know what the report says. Certainly by age 7 I felt there was something wrong with me, that I was defective, missing something. I already knew I was different, what I needed to know is that I wasn't BAD or stupid. Stress her intelligence, and let her know that in no way does this mean she will be unsuccessful in life. It also does not mean that she is bad or "less-than", but most likely quite a wonderfully intelligent and creative thinker. Identifying the problem means that now steps can be taken to change things for the better.

Well-behaved, quiet, compliant, nice, ADHD [non-hyperactive!] girls get diagnostically missed ALL THE TIME.

[We wind up as the 20-60 year old women who battle chronic depression or anxiety issues, it seems.

Of course we do: we have undiagnosed ADD. :S]That's me to a "T". Since my problems went unrecognized, I proceeded with life just believing my self to bad, wrong, a misfit, and suffered from a great deal of depression and anxiety.

I'm so glad you're having your daughter diagnosed now (BEFORE high school!!). It's hard for ADDs to "fit in" to the school system, but there are certainly ways to help her.

Jt, ok, I'm one of the guys here who are still in highschool, this is what I would do.

Go too the bookstore, find a book called "somebodys gotta say it" its a $20 book, but don't even worry about buying it, just flip over to the section about the public school system.

Start reading! Let her know that she is a intelligent person, there are after all, 7 diffrent kinds of intelligence, and ADDers are more prone to have the best kind, spacial~! (unless your really acute with people, but I imagine thats good for CIA!) On a side note, the school system only reckignises one of the seven types of intelligene, the "worker drone" one...actually I dont think that is the acual one, i think they made that one up, because honestley, who would call takeing orders, and not thinking for yoursef intelligence...sheesh...

You could also introduce her to the forums here, you wouldn't be the only parent/child duo here,

But Jt, just keep this in mind, she may have ADD, but that isn't going to stop her from being sucessfull, she will be fine, sure, she will have more to put up with, but it will work out. Just remember, that she is smart! proabley smarter than her teachers. (or at least it kinda helps if you think about it like that I guess..hmm...)

"Well-behaved, quiet, compliant, nice, ADHD [non-hyperactive!] girls get diagnostically missed ALL THE TIME.

[We wind up as the 20-60 year old women who battle chronic depression or anxiety issues, it seems."





That was also me (although I was quite energetic and restless, but never disruptive). I did very well academically despite the school system; but then I was diagnosed with depression and simultaneously AD(H)D. Aha!


I'm with Luthien, a loving and supportive environment is the most important. If the school system cannot accommodate, then you will have to find a way to compensate for that.


And as Busyhermit has said, it's great that she is being diagnosed before highschool.


I do think that it is in her interest to know the results. You can try to offset potential concern by emphasizing that she has been assessed as highly intelligent. The problem is not her. The problem is that she lives in a world that does not operate at her level; the best thing you could do for her, IMHO, is to foster a sense of self and worth that will allow her to maximize her strengths and appreciate that she is unique but not abnormal. When you're fourteen, all you want to do is fit in, afterall.


You seem like a very caring parent. Through trial and error, you will discover a way of navigating her way through this discovery and learning process on which she is about to embark.


Bon courage!