View Full Version : should this be kept a secret?


bandie08
02-12-08, 12:11 PM
Ok I just found out a month ago that I had dyscalculia and a little bit of dyslexia and im still in denial about it I haven't even told any of my teachers yet except for Mr Fore. I told him because I trust him more then anyone at my school.But Last Thursday night I had a concert and My band director chose people to play with the Elementry school advanced band. I raised my hand and he asked me "Are you sure you can read through it with out missing a note?" In front of the whole jazz band. Its confidential information between me and him and shouldn't be announced out loud. should I tell my counselor about this? I know he was just trying to protect me from being embarrised but he shouldn't announce that to the band. I don't want the jazz band or anyone to know I have a visual processing disability in music or math. I got made fun of and bullied and called stupid, retarded, etc. in the past because of it and I don't want that to happened again. I'm painfully aware that I'm different and I am very sensitive about this kind of thing. I told him because I trust him more then anyone at my school. What should I do?

Mary
02-12-08, 12:33 PM
Ok I just found out a month ago that I had dyscalculia and a little bit of dyslexia and im still in denial about it I haven't even told any of my teachers yet except for Mr Fore. I told him because I trust him more then anyone at my school.But Last Thursday night I had a concert and My band director chose people to play with the Elementry school advanced band. I raised my hand and he asked me "Are you sure you can read through it with out missing a note?" In front of the whole jazz band. Its confidential information between me and him and shouldn't be announced out loud. should I tell my counselor about this? I know he was just trying to protect me from being embarrised but he shouldn't announce that to the band. I don't want the jazz band or anyone to know I have a visual processing disability in music or math. I got made fun of and bullied and called stupid, retarded, etc. in the past because of it and I don't want that to happened again. I'm painfully aware that I'm different and I am very sensitive about this kind of thing. I told him because I trust him more then anyone at my school. What should I do?

I think your privacy should be respected.

On another note.... have you tried using paper other than white? Say pink or blue or even gray?.... people with dyslexia and discalcula sometimes find it useful to do so... or even gray tint to glasses will help. Somehow it brings things into focus better. This is what I did with my 3 daughters who wear glasses. Even sheet music could be printed on the different colored paper. If that isn't possible... get a plastic overlay in those colors ... it should help.

If you need more info, look up Irlen Syndrome.

TygerSan
02-20-08, 11:17 AM
[I raised my hand and he asked me "Are you sure you can read through it with out missing a note?" In front of the whole jazz band.

Sigh . . . I think he's just trying to be nice and "protect" you, even though you clearly haven't asked for that. You say you respect him, can you talk to him and tell him what wrote here: that that kind of statement in front of the whole class makes you more embarrassed, and that if he's concerned about something he can talk to you after class, privately?

FWIW, he probably didn't even think that he'd "outed" you by his statement, but of course by singling you out he sort of did.

FrazzleDazzle
02-20-08, 02:26 PM
I'm sorry that happened, Bandie. I agree with Tyger, he legally should not have done that at all. Since you already have a good relationship with your band teacher, at this point I would just talk with him privately again and tell him what you told us.

And, sadly, many teachers are not really aware of student's rights and their responsibilities towards them. Do you have a 504 or an IEP? If so, then what your teacher did was even doubly wrong. But, not unforgiveable. Keep up the good work in there, and your good rel'p with your band teacher. I hope it all irons out for you!

Imnapl
02-20-08, 03:03 PM
I raised my hand and he asked me "Are you sure you can read through it with out missing a note?" Did your teacher tell the class you have dyscalcula and dyslexia?

[quote=bandie08;545331]In front of the whole jazz band. Its confidential information between me and him and shouldn't be announced out loud. Asking if you can sight read a piece of music without missing a note is not confidential information. I'm the worst sight reader God ever put breath in and I'm not ashamed of it. I hope you take the time to tell the teacher how you felt when he asked you this question in front of the whole band. He needs to know it bothered you.

I got made fun of and bullied and called stupid, retarded, etc. in the past because of it and I don't want that to happened again. I'm painfully aware that I'm different and I am very sensitive about this kind of thing. I told him because I trust him more then anyone at my school. What should I do?I hope you speak to a counselor the next time someone bullies you.

NeeNee
03-14-08, 12:25 PM
Some students do very well with the anti-bullying advice found at www.bullies2buddies.com (http://www.bullies2buddies.com)

It doesn't sound like your situation is terrible, but perhaps some of the suggstions will help you stop the teasing.

And it's wonderful that you are involved in band and that you have a teacher who cares-even though he's a little clueless about how his "help" might have impacted you. By all means talk with him so he can learn how to help you without public embarrassment.

CrisF
04-07-08, 11:31 AM
[quote=bandie08;545331]I raised my hand and he asked me "Are you sure you can read through it with out missing a note?" Did your teacher tell the class you have dyscalcula and dyslexia?

Asking if you can sight read a piece of music without missing a note is not confidential information. I'm the worst sight reader God ever put breath in and I'm not ashamed of it. I hope you take the time to tell the teacher how you felt when he asked you this question in front of the whole band. He needs to know it bothered you.

Coming from one who has problems thinking everyone is staring, talking, thinking about her - some might call it mild paranoia (sp?) - perhaps you took it the wrong way? You felt exposed when you realy weren't?

Many times we have issues that we feel stick out like a sore thumb. We then talk to friends or important people and find out they never knew (Like that huge pimple on your face?? It really isn't as noticeable as you think...)

As Imnapl said - he didn't really 'out' you, he was asking you if you could sight read, you, feeling your issues stick out and having past history with bullies, were hypersensitive to his comments???

Did anyone laugh or pick on you about it? Did he ask others the same type of question?

As far as I'm concerned with my personal situation: I was diagnosed at the age of 42. It gave me answers to MANY questions/problems/issues (whatever). I don't want others to go through what I have gone through, so I educate others. Let them know what it is like and how to work with me. Help someone esle identify why they are 'different'. Help them realize that being different is a good thing and not a bad thing. I hope it will help one other person have a better life.


Best of luck.

CrisF

tree oh tree
09-18-08, 07:10 AM
No when some fool introduces you as 'this is [insert name of a person who has a diagnose of something that most people might say 'Hmm that person is quirky' or 'hmm at times they seemed uncomfortable' or whatever] they have a condition but they're gifted, it's the most patronising thing in the world it makes me wanna mutilate their face. Hell yeah go all Pat Bateman on them, but I think if the teacher is asking if you can read all the way through, then they're trying to recognise your problem and help you through it, they're not just focusing on the problem.

My guitar teacher from last year at college (we worked in groups) asked me if I was hyperactive because I would keep playing guitar when he was talkin, and getting distracted and so on and on, then said that I needed some speed.

He was a nice guy, but at the time that wasn't greatly helpful, though depites always being hungover in the end, and always scatty he helped me through oh good times.