Dear Ones,

Namaste,

Hi. My Name is Nachi. I am 28/M From India.

I wanted your advice on career related matters. I have come to end of my rope cant think straight. I started out my career with Accounts...just after my graduation in Commerce but it was all too hard for me. It seemed that I was forever trying to cope up with things...repeating same silly mistakes, never been able to learn, master the requirements, things, matters needed to be learned to handle accounts field. My job also required me to go to places outside and It was another matter I could never come in terms with. I have lived my whole life in this city where i live..and though for some reasons I havent travelled, went outside much..one expects an adult to atleast have sense of direction while doing something as simple as travelling...but to me..its a big problem...I enter a bank...and two minutes later I forget where the exist is...how to go to the front door..
Infact I needed to search my office on many days because I would invaribly forget the way..or get confused...

Later I tried a job of supervisor cum assistant manager where I had to supervise technitions and make them attend to service calls..here again since I didint had a clue about my city..I used to create blunders, confusions. I just didint know where certain place in my city belonged to..or where 'x' was near 'y'
I also had to write professsional letters to clients and here once again I would get struck...I could manage only two words "dear Sir" and after that...i would get blank..nothing worked for me...

After that..I tried my hand at marketting..promoting Meds to Docs for them to prescribe these meds of my company...Here again I had to go to various places to visit lot many docs. and the same old problem would crop up...Half my energy would be spent on looking for the addresses and somehow luckily reaching the place..and then there I would be sitting in front of them...like a wooden piece..unable to mouth words...and my mouth would go dry..Marketting involves having good composure, sense of timing, a way with words and I was like a slaughered chicken without the head..running around the field..I tried two different jobs at this field and I knew it was too much for my simple, stupid brain to figure out

My last job was of accounts field once again..doing accounts of many companies where as I was hardly in touch with my accounts..and was lost in the battle..in trying to be with the world..somehow I lived through the months in fear, anxiety, carrying this stupid, ugly head on my shoulders but then it was too humliating for me to suffer through it everyday..to repeat the same mistakes, to live through this fear.

Its been more than 2 years that I am unemployed not knowing what to do ahead. I also tried my hand at a small partnership venture and landed on my face with egg on my face..

I have no talent, skill in any field, when I go outside in the big bad world I feel like being a goldfish in the company of sharks..I am too bad at politics. too honest, good a person to survive in the cut throat biz world...I am too plain, too stupid...its so difficult for me to earn my living because I dont know where to look at...I am not good at any field, I have no one area which I can develop as a skill or self employment..

I was abused as a child by men, women and children as well so I deveoloped a anxiety aginast all. I could be dying in fear, anxiety at work..and it would eat me up...somehow trying to live through the day, stupid mistakes...and this anxiety as well..it came to a point where I feared to be afarid so much so that i quit jobs.

My resoureces are very limited and I have gone tired of running after docs and trying to prove that I have got big problems in life...they wont even tell me what is that I am suffering from.

I am going to give one more try at treatment because I will its the only answer but I doubt my career related probs can be solved by any doc or treatemnt.

All my of knowledge of ADD is based on the stuff that i gathered from internet and I think many of other problems fit in to being called as add but many a times i wonder if there is more to it..
can there be more to it than ADD?


Hoping to get some guidance.

With Love,

Nachi

Dearest Nachi,

You are not alone in your pain and frustration. I too lose my way easily and find it very hard to survive in a dog eat dog world. I wear my heart on my sleeve which makes it easier for other's to break me so to speak; unfortunatly, this is a trait I actually like about me and am unwilling to change.

OK this whole stupid, ugly self bashing that is going on needs to stop NOW. You have shown nothing but intelligence and thoughtfulness in your post's. So, please do not try to so blatantly lie to us. WE KNOW you are not stupid or ugly!!!!

I have no advice other than have you tried a different field? I too held a position I could not understand, cope and excell at. I found myself in a deep state of depression and my anxiety levels were thru the roof. What I did was to start trying other job's I didn't care if it was working at McDonalds as long as I was good at it. I have finally found my place in Long Term Care. The pace is fast and is never the same I NEEDED that and my resident's NEED me, I NEED that as well. I have been in my current position for over 10 years and have decided to further my education by getting my RN license. I have stepped down as Night Charge; because, I am not a good person to have in charge of other employee's I find reprimanding grown adults hard and it leaves me feeling like a victimizer.

Good luck and please do NOT give up
Much love and respect,
Cherity

Nachi,
I cannot offer much advice to you other than to keep trying. Maybe something in computers. You post well here. Anyway do not give up! My thoughts are with you.
Jim

I have friends who are got computer degrees then were laid off, some have been unemployed for three years and now are no longer skilled with all the new computer programs. My advice to them is list dream jobs they would love to do. (Not just make money at) Research and go to school for it. (Loans) Its really the best way to restart your life. I went into drafting after years in Banking. Love the change :)

Namaste, Nachi -

For reasons I will not enumerate I definitely empathize. You are NOT a plain or stupid person; you stated your issues pretty concisely here. I'm with Kepping except for one thing - the sudden transition to education can be pretty startling - have you thought of something in customer service (you sound like a great type for front-line telephone customer response) in one of your previous fields to earn some money while you research other better-suited options?

You should also know if you haven't had a chance to read it in the Times, that people here in the USA are up in arms b/c all the development jobs, and some of the legal jobs (which I do when I'm working!) are being shipped over to India. So while that's not exactly great for us, IMO we should have seen it coming and you will have more opportunities.

Best of luck.