I have a rather philosophical question. Sometimes - ohh, who am I kidding? Most of the time - I just can't seem to get motivated - or more accurately I can tame the feeling of being overwhelmed by the amount of material- to sit down and actually study. It is quite a paradox for me: I want more than anything to go to accomplish a goal (let's call it goal A); yet, I struggle and fight against myself to accomplish the very goal (A) that I want to passionately to accomplish.

D you think this paradox is a symtpom or state of simply being human or a trait more specific to those of us with ADHD? Hmmm... Might be a good question to post in a poll. Tell me what you think.

Probably moreso as we havemore trouble accomplishing our goals often. Then we may beat ourselves up and waste more time and defeat ourseves more. I don't think I beat myself up too much but I am a bit frustrated I don't get more done

Mighty Mouse, what you describe is exactly how I am when doing house work. I work 40-50 a week and have two teens. My house is a mess. Every weekend, I want to clean it all up or at least one room - get ride of the piles of junk and boxes that I still haven't gone through from our last move. But I get filled with such overwelmness that I freeze. Its frustrating because I'm really a neat freak so my goal is clear and highly wanted but getting from point A to point B... Well.. you know...

Yes. I know. I am just as fastidious, yet unable in areas of my life such as cleaning.

MM

Wow! I am pretty amazed at the unamimity that the voting is having. Keep voting.

MM

I am the same way about almost everything. Going to work, housework, yard work, crafts...u name it, I lack motivation. There are so many things I want to do, or need to do...but just dont have the ooomph to get started

Given my lack of empathy for the rest of the world, it would be hard to tell whether I just wallow in self pity or whether this is actually an honest response for me.

I voted with everyone else but I expect that it is more the perception I have rather than the reality.

I'm self centred in the extreme and it's taken me years to curb some of that into a more balanced outlook. I would suggest that although I "feel" like I struggle more, in actual fact everyone carries a burden. I just don't bear mine with any particular grace. I make a terrible sickie for instance whereas my wife and many others just keep on truckin'. The grace of humility is not mine naturally, it's a skill I have to practise.

My motivation has been helped a lot by first facing suicide as an option, then Dexedrine, and now good hard physical workouts on an almost daily basis. The workouts are tremendous for keeping me able to "get going" but took me months to implement the commitment. A public commitment here on the forums and the community of others finding the same source for strength has helped lift the lead out of my legs. Thanks all.
Cheers! Ian.

Thank you for your honest answers and analysis Ian. I really appreciate them and am glad that you have finally begun to find things in your life that are bringing you support (working out, this forums, etc.)

Sincerely,

MM

I'm with you on this one as well! It's part of my daily struggle. I try a different method each day to get things done, some work, some don't. Frustratingly enough, the ones that seem to work, don't usually work the next day!!!

john

Everybody has some goals they want to accomplish. Some people are just better at getting there I think. We were all given the same map, I just can't read that kind of map. I think people without ADD instinctively take the quickest, most direct route and don't make any unscheduled pitstops. I prefer the scenic route and I don't care how long it takes me to get there. That is partly why my way does not serve me too well in most real life situations.

I, myself can be my own worst enemy. If I want a problem, I can create my own problems. Sometimes I can create my own drama and live in my own soap opera. Reality can be so far away on many days when I want to escape into my fantasy world. However reality can bite you in the butt and take a big chunk out your fantasy world. Since I have been taking concerta, I have learned to come out of my fantasy world and become more realistic instead of impulsive choices which lead me to failure.
I guess I was living in a slumber since I was awaken to the real world to live my life realistically and sensibly. Thumbs up to concerta!

Galexica

MM~

This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ME!!!!

And it feels like I'm just killing myself sometimes with the vicious circle of "get up!"---"go do it!!"--"just do the first step and it'll all follow through!!"--"...mmm.... I just don't feel like it...I am an adult and can do what I want..."---"geeze I suck...no wonder I'm not working up to my life's potential!"--"well, you sure could get closer to that potential if you'd GET UP!!"--"go DO it!!".....

And so on it goes..... :nono: And the guilt itself can be quite crippling...


smoo

The question is a bit off. It's not that we intend to kick ourselfs in the head but a natural consequence of ADD that we aren't good at planning long term. Everyone struggles with gaining the "maturity" to accomplish undesirable tasks but ADDer's definitely have a much much tougher time with it. Notice the word "maturity". And that's what it is, which is really embarassing and "inexcusable" for a grownup. This is why people deny ADD is real because everybody deals with this but some of us are just born with different abilities. This is really a definitive ADD trait.

What makes it so horrible is the shame we feel. If that can be overcome, I think it wouldn't be so hard. So there are ADDer's who have learned to get through it and I suspect those are the folks who have come to terms with themselves and at least removed that barrier of guilt so that it's not so overwhelming.

Originally posted by paulbf
What makes it so horrible is the shame we feel. If that can be overcome, I think it wouldn't be so hard. So there are ADDer's who have learned to get through it and I suspect those are the folks who have come to terms with themselves and at least removed that barrier of guilt so that it's not so overwhelming.

Great insight, paulbf! Ty!

Sometimes I can knock the shame/guilt...othertimes it nabs me.... I've learned it's one of the many ADD cycles through which I swirl. :D

smooch

I can't answer this poll. I don't agree with any of them.

Negative self talk, self doubt, self loathing, pity, and self sabotage are all the same.
Some humans do it and some humans don't. It has to do with how you learned to deal with everyday occurences in life. Maybe some people are wired better for it, but I don't think so. There is too much evidence in human history to support the opposite.

Feeling shame and self loathing is not cast in our DNA.
It is how we use our physiology, how we talk to ourselves, how we ask questions and seek answers and attempt to solve everyday challenges in life or not.

It's NOT ADHD though it can appear like it is. It's very easy when you are super intelligent and not making progress to find lots of reasons why you are a screw up and get down on yourself.
It might seem more difficult to only look at the how whatever you have done in life IS progress and find evidence in our memory that supports this.... but it is possible.

I don't think there is one human who has had or will have a feeling that is unique and different from any other human. We ALL feel the same emotions, fears, whatever.
Whether you use these feelings to support your success or failure is simply a choice. The longer you choose to hold on to negative feelings the more assured you are of failure.

When you choose to use them and their energy to motivate you to change your life then you evolve to a place where you are unstoppable.

As a young adult, i was very afraid of anything i can't do perfectly. Most of the time it's goes into a burst of anger against myself.

In the last years, as i see my children grew and i realize all the good things my wife and i give to them, i start to realize that the anger, that the fight against myself was ( and sometimes still is ) a shield against all the sorrows of my youth, against all the thinks i miss, especially understanding, especially a helping hand, especially from my parents.