I don't know what to think anymore. I abused crystal meth for a number of years, and when I was at my bottom, I walked into a p/doc, and he said I was bipolar and ADD, self medicating with the meth. Thinking back, I realize that anybody using meth would exhibit symptoms of bipolar. It's a roller-coaster. So I've stopped using meth for many years, and have been on large cocktails of meds to control my condition. But, if the meth was the cause of bipolar symptoms, and I don't do meth anymore, am I still bipolar? Is it forever? Maybe I wasn't bipolar in the first place and just experiencing drug effects, so I shouldn't be on all this medication. I feel the meds hold me back, and mess up my life. I sometimes feel that the meds MAKE me bipolar, instead of controlling it. They certainly make me depressed. I'm trying to taper some of the meds, and then I notice that the ADD meds make me manic. So now where do I go? Which way to turn? My doc says get over it: you're bp and that's the way it is. I don't know, I would like to try life without anything, and see how I do, but coming off these drugs is so difficult. Thanks for reading this.

Welcome Bob.

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I think it goes without saying that none of us here want to be Bipolar or ADD. But as time passes and with support and education, we learn to accept it, find a free therapy of sorts helping others, and some have learned to embrace the "good" qualities of having BP, yes there are good qualities. Being intelligent, highly creative, and very sensitive to our enviroment and the people who live in it, often goes hand in hand with the disease.

If you are concerned the doctor is wrong, why not seek a second opinion?
You are correct in drug abuse especially, meth, cocaine, crack , can cause Bipolar type symptoms. The doctor is right in the fact that most often Bipolar & ADD patients are a duel diagnoses of addiction. Treating one, often reveals the intensity of the other.

The drugs don't "cause" bipolar, Bipolar is often the cause of the addiction.
If you have been clean for years, are you not exhibiting signs of BP? I mean regular meds , if they are a good combo, do give us a sense of relief, but not a cure? I do have a great combo, but I still have symptoms, although they ae milder in nature and in duration.

There is no cure for Bipolar. I think that is often what is hardest for people to accept. You will be required to take meds for the rest of your life to be able remain level. Meds don't make you Bipolar either. Bipolar is a progressive disease, and meds help to stop the progression as well.

If you are still struggling with depression, you need to talk to the doctor and see if something can be tweaked in the dosage or perhaps add something else? I take 150mg of Lamictal, that has helped relieve about 70-80% of my depression which I have more of an issue with than the hypomania. I had to start on Neurontin several months ago because I had mania related sleep issues. It has also relieved about 70% of that symptom. I still have them.
We have had to play with the doses and meds, you will find that a common theme here.

The idea that you are having issues with mania on stimulants when you are off of your mood stabilzlers , is a pretty good indicator of BP. I do the same thing. I was dx with ADD in 1994, but when I was dx with BPII 2 years ago, I had to stop the stims for months until I was level. Then I had to build slowly. I take 1/2 of the dose I used to. 20mg of Adderall XR. If I am feeling an upswing of mania, I don't take it at all.

I am not sure that I would be happy with a doctor stating get over it you are BP? I am not sure if that is the way he said it or your perception of it, since you are struggling with the dx. It is a fine line for us as BP's. I would hate to treat us. When starting or working at meds, it must be a challenge to be able to decipher between what is a "valid" gripe about meds, or the need to not be med compliant.


Not wanting to take meds is one of the biggest problems with most BP's especially the BPI"s who have the extreme mania's and think everything is great, they are healed, they don't have BP anymore...and refuse meds, they often end up hospitalized before they level back out. I am the other way. It took me so long to get dx , (looking back on my history my onset was at puberty) that my life was a mess. Once I went through all the grieving processes of being dx with Bipolar, and my meds started working, I have never wanted to go back. While I do miss the mania sometimes when I want to hyperfocus on some project for 12 hours straight ....I love being level more.

I don't know if any of this helps? I guess at the end of the day, I would most likely see another doctor before I came off meds.

There is no cure for Bipolar. I think that is often what is hardest for people to accept. You will be required to take meds for the rest of your life to be able remain level. Meds don't make you Bipolar either. Bipolar is a progressive disease, and meds help to stop the progression as well.

Another bipolar agreeing with this. And drugs and mania go together, my mania drugs are alcohol and cocaine, I choose these two specifically to ride the manic high as long as I can, they are both great at first, but with one I get some twisted psychosis (after a week or two of being up, it compares in no way to any natural psychosis) and with the other I end up volatile and explosive. So the end result is either being afraid of being arrested or actually being arrested, and neither is any fun.

At a stable level, alcohol will wind me up and cocaine will be like an ADHD med for a few days and after a few days of being awake I start to really wind up. So the relationship between mania and drugs is symbiotic with me.

i second matt s's vices. for sure. but the longer i am away from both the saner i feel. i have noticed especially with cocaine that my mood phase dramatically alters its effect. sometimes its all happiness and the other times i feel all paranoid like i stole something and people are spying on me. and alcohol just seems to make me more aggro the older i get and farther i progress into my bipolarness.

when i am properly medicated i do not really crave much of either.