View Full Version : My boyfriend’s house was a mess. How can he be so messy?


Guest1
02-27-08, 11:32 PM
i just spent the whole day cleaning my boyfriends house disgusting how can he live like that hes counter filthy and hes freezer and fridge disgusting we moved furniture all around thru allot of junk away and furniture and he complain that we moved everything and he doesn't know where nothing is at but he complains hes house is messy and ugly i help clean he gets mad now hes happy with the house i don't understand :(:mad::confused:

zoomman
02-27-08, 11:40 PM
another good question marytza...I never thought about it. I'm certainly a pig. Hmm. I think it has something to do with being encouraged to stand up when we pee...y'know. It just gets gross from then on out. Urine goes everywhere...little drops on our pants, our shoes...I think we just subconsciuosly KNOW we're covered in pee and after that nothing else is very important, cleanlinesswise. Y'know.

Matt S.
02-27-08, 11:40 PM
I am a clean freak guy myself but I have seen some filty apartments and it is disgusting.

Driver
02-27-08, 11:42 PM
Dirt and filth aren't just limited to guys; I've met some pretty feral girls.

Guest1
02-27-08, 11:44 PM
thats good u well make some one happy I am a clean freak guy myself but I have seen some filty apartments and it is disgusting.

Guest1
02-27-08, 11:45 PM
not me im pretty clean my self Dirt and filth aren't just limited to guys; I've met some pretty feral girls.

lunaslobo
03-03-08, 08:47 AM
actully believe it or not, he may have some traits of perfectionism. I know that sounds strange if his house is messy. he may just see that he can not live up to his own expectations and then gives up. he may also feel over whelmed by it all. just a couple thoughts

QueensU_girl
03-03-08, 09:28 AM
You don't know why he's upset?

1. When you take over cleaning someone's house, you take away their power. It infantilizes them. Men, especially, can have a lot of pride about that sort of thing!

2. A messy houue can be a sign of "executive dysfunction". (IE inability to plan, coordinate, manage, anticipate, sort out, follow thru, etc.)

One's internal mind's disorganization is reflected externally in their outer environment.

3. You have also mentioned that he smokes dope. That can lead to "amotivational syndrome". A lot of regular, heavy dope users aren't too frikkin motivated, IME.

NB The more I read about your rel'p, the more I don't like the sounds of it, Marytza....

~boots~
03-03-08, 09:30 AM
I am a clean freak guy myself but I have seen some filty apartments and it is disgusting.the wedding's back on:D

Guest1
03-03-08, 10:22 AM
actually he calls me to tell me it feels good to go in the house now it feels like a new home he said and nice and comfy and clean and smells good to he saysYou don't know why he's upset?

1. When you take over cleaning someone's house, you take away their power. It infantilizes them. Men, especially, can have a lot of pride about that sort of thing!

2. A messy houue can be a sign of "executive dysfunction". (IE inability to plan, coordinate, manage, anticipate, sort out, follow thru, etc.)

One's internal mind's disorganization is reflected externally in their outer environment.

3. You have also mentioned that he smokes dope. That can lead to "amotivational syndrome". A lot of regular, heavy dope users aren't too frikkin motivated, IME.

NB The more I read about your rel'p, the more I don't like the sounds of it, Marytza....

~boots~
03-03-08, 11:36 AM
Marytza, does he live by himself? Are you going to move in with him? Does he work or go to school?

Matt S.
03-03-08, 12:00 PM
the wedding's back on:D

I knew that would seal the deal :D

~boots~
03-03-08, 12:04 PM
I knew that would seal the deal :Dso, is that a "YES" ??:D

QueensU_girl
03-03-08, 12:06 PM
re: 10

You asked for an explanation in #1.

No need to get defensive against the answers.

What is your explanation ? :)

Matt S.
03-03-08, 12:06 PM
so, is that a "YES" ??:D

100% without a doubt

I don't know if you know but I do have some reptilian qualities that aren't within the norm :o

Yes ;)

~boots~
03-03-08, 12:14 PM
100% without a doubt

I don't know if you know but I do have some reptilian qualities that aren't within the norm :o

Yes ;)

*shivers*:D double whammy..double delight:D

now....let's go help Marytza:p

Guest1
03-03-08, 02:17 PM
yes by him self he works with hes dad hes planning to marry me soon hes talking about we gonna move in when we marryMarytza, does he live by himself? Are you going to move in with him? Does he work or go to school?

Scattered
03-03-08, 07:29 PM
actully believe it or not, he may have some traits of perfectionism. I know that sounds strange if his house is messy. he may just see that he can not live up to his own expectations and then gives up. he may also feel over whelmed by it all. just a couple thoughtsI'm like that -- I ever want to perfect or I give up and quit. When I was single my place looked pretty good, but once kids came along............:rolleyes: Anyway, it's better these days since I've learned to appreciate improvement instead of having to have perfection!

I also think it's quite possible for some folks with ADD to tune it all out, because it's too distracting. I do that a lot. I just don't see the details.