I am not sure if I should even do this. I sometimes think if I don't go back to my doctor I won't be sick.

I want to write a list out and ask her a few questions like,

1. why bipolar 2 now, when before it wasn't decided if I was bipolar.

2. ADD/ADHD? I think this one might be easier to understand but, I need for her to do full on testing.

I don't know what to think. I sometimes think my hyperactivity/anxiety may be something else.

I have a friend whose mom is bipolar, and she may be bipolar herself, and she could never see bipolar in me. I have definitely got it on the depressive side- though on the hypomanic side things always seem to be missing. I do admit once I was probably hypomanic but it's hard to tell. I was told I get mixed depressions. I often wonder if it's just very severe atypical depressions I get.

This doctor is my source to a CBT specialist, and I don't want to give that up.

So off I go back to her office.

A big problem of taking anti-depressants for a long period if you actually are Bipolar instead of just depression is it can lead to mania.

I didn't have my first manic episode until I took antidepressants for what was thought to be just depression. I don't think I wouldn't have become manic without them, they just accelerated it for me and likely made it worse.

I'd much rather be Bipolar 2 than 1, cause mania is way worse and disruptive for your life than just hypomnia.

Having to go to a doctor sucks, but its better for your health.

I think I had some mania in my teens- I think, I don't know. It could've been major PTSD. I was never diagnosed. I was age 15 to be exact. Then I was fine, then I went into a mixed state into my 20's- or at least that's what I was told.

I will work with my doctor because I have trust issues with doctors, and authority in particular. And maybe that is something to work out.

My doctor is already pushing lithium, and said no to antidepressants.

It's hard because no one thinks I have this disorder. and when I tell them they tell me- the doctor screwed up.