Wow, suddenly im studying full time, working 2 full days during the week, working on about 6 different broadcasting productions in my spare time and struggling to pay my way. Every time i stop, i feel great melancholy, im so tired alot of the time, and socially inept/lonely. All of the challenges i would love to succeed in seem to go no nowhere - music being a great example, i cant write any more - just fizzled out, and have learnt such fragmented pieces of music im so confounded by it now and i just dont have time to find a tutor and get lessons at the moment, once upon a time i was told i was an outstanding trumpet student and could have been a scholar - 15 years ago! Just started a new job to pay my rent and im so worried that i wont be able to balance everything and might let them down, i have a tendency under great pressure to drop everything and shut everything out. Wow, i just feel so lost in my own mind, although at the core, im succeeding in my degree, which is the most important thing, which is positive. Man, i wish i was of a more upbeat temperemant, i seem to even flip good news round to be a negative. Difficult to express such complicated emotions, i feel like this is how it is and will be for my time here and i'll never come any way to achieving what i want to in that time, whereas i see other people i grew up with making it look effortless. Feel like a shadow of myself when i was younger and full of positive energy and creativity. Dammit, i just dont know. Sorry for clogging up a post with negative rant, i just felt like, even without any response, it would do me the world of good to get something out there and just write down how i feel. I always feel rediculous writing in a diary. I guess this is a low and inevitably things will get better and worse again. Hope all you guys are well x

Sounds like you're burned-out and depressed. I can certainly relate to that. I fall into the trap of having more expectations of myself than I can possibly achieve. Every day ends in dissatisfaction, because no matter how hard I work and how much I achieve, it is never enough in my own mind. Sounds like you could be in the same situation. So busy already, and still wishing you could do more - with the trumpet, etc. Unreasonable expectations for me leads to unhappiness and depression and finally burn-out from trying so hard to achieve the impossible.

I still struggle with it, but I'm learning to drop the world "should" and focus on what I "need" to do and what I "can" realistically do each day. Not easy to admit I'm not, and never will be, some kind of super-mom like those around me seem to be. But I am what I am - facing reality - actually kind of takes a load off.

Thanks busyhermit,

It's good to know someone else who has as a similar day to day experience!

Hopefully one day it will lead to some kind of fulfillment, maybe i'll meet a girl who can deal with my shortcomings also.. ya never know!

Hope everything is going well

N

Hey,

I think you're actually doing extremely well, considering how much is on your plate. It may be a case of sitting down and prioritising what is the most important to you, and letting a few things go. I know we like to be busy, but too many things to focus on can mean nothing gets done.

You've come to the right place for support though. Good luck and check in any time.

Wow, i just feel so lost in my own mind, although at the core, im succeeding in my degree, which is the most important thing, which is positive.

I understand this feeling {I think}- it is hard for me to fight the shut down which aways seems to happen just as I need to give it that little extra push - I work my hinny off to get where I am then it is like right as I am on teh verge of acheivement fizzle frazzle frozzle . . . rather frustrating I agree.

Hopefully one day it will lead to some kind of fulfillment, maybe i'll meet a girl who can deal with my shortcomings also.. ya never know!

N

Best of luck on your journey, fellow traveler. Here's a thread on how to spot an ADD girl: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=39271

IMHO, though, find out what your own deal is and get on top of it first. The girlfriend situation will take care of itself then. :)

Your plate is definately very full and it's ok to let a few things slide off especially if you feel like you're spinning your wheels in some area's. Concentrate on the major things that you have to accomplish in your life. Make that list and whenever you feel like you're failing look at the area's of importance and what you're doing right in those areas. Try to gain momemtum with your strengths and focus your energies on what you're doing well and why.

Don't sweat the small stuff, otherwise, if you get yourself caught up in all the little things you're just going to feel overwhelmed.

Come on here an Rant away you are in the right place and nothing clears your head and give you perspective than a good rant.

Thanks guys and girls,

It's difficult when all these things matter, the job keeps me in enough money to study and the other things are keeping my grades up etc I ended up blanking out and passing out on the train on the way into uni the other day, so i decided i needed to say enough is enough and spend today sleeping and watching telly, but then i got 2 weeks solid where every day is full! yikes, i hope i make it! then i got holidays though so i got some time to kick back and relax..

I wish i knew more people like you in Uni x