View Full Version : What does the "average person" do on a Saturday Night?


conversationist
03-02-08, 04:17 PM
Being a suffer of ADHD and having a odd off beat personality, I tend to be a socialable loner. They say I am quite friendly and outgoing but I do not click with most people. I tend to be to intellectual for my own good and maybe to smart but most people tend to bore me and I suspect the feeling is mutual.

I like to go over to the large regional mall near my home on Saturday night and walk around and watch the people. If the indication I get from the Mall is correct the average person is a social butterfly with huge groups of friends. The bars and restaurants are full of large groups of people sitting at large tables surrounded by large groups of friends who are just having the greatest time. They are exchanging great interesting stories, laughing and shouting in glee. They seem to be so lucky in the friends department. Is this really the norm and the rest of us losers?

Matt S.
03-02-08, 04:28 PM
Everyone is different and honestly that is how I am most of the time. I find a lot of people to be boring and irritating most of the time. The exception in my case is that I have bipolar disorder and during the manic phase of my illness I just love everyone and I make all of these friends during this period and when I am back to a stable level, I really don't like socializing with these people as often as they like to socialize, I still act like a friend to them though them though, because they are nice people and I like them but I am not up to par with discussions about reality shows and such. I don't feel socially awkward at all either, I am able to join into groups and appear as if I am enjoying myself but I deep down don't enjoy it because it is an act. It seems mean but it is not as if I hate them and exploit or victimize them, I just do this long enough to where they know me enough to know that I am the way I am and respect that and I keep my true friends that way.

Rich1960
03-02-08, 07:08 PM
I am the same way. I cannot "connect" with most folks. It's like there is an invisible wall between us. Things like getting the feel of the conversation, it's "tone" and so forth is something I have absolutely no talent for. I really do not know how to act in social situations so I usually stay for a few minutes then cut out. It's like they are speaking a different language than me. Trying to be social physically exhausts me to the extent I feel like I need to go right to bed if I try for a long time to be sociable so I just cut it short. I realize I lose out on alot of relationships because of this but it is just too much effort for me.

FrazzleDazzle
03-02-08, 09:29 PM
That is funny, in that the venues that you see people in such as bars and malls, are full of people that like that kind of atmosphere. You are not seeing necessarily the "average" person there! You are not seeing the people curled up in the living room with their families for movies or games or other gatherings inside of homes, or quiet restaurants, or people who are off alone pursuing a good book, or a hobby. I happen to enjoy more of the latter. When I was younger I used to feel kind of guilty or uncomfortable because I was not out and about as you described, and my friends didn't like doing those kinds of things either. We preferred to do things in smaller groups. As we get older and have more responsibilities, kids, families, jobs, these things can keep us out of the "social scene" you describe as well.

I have learned to not feel badly about not enjoying livelier situations that you describe, and I am happy with my preferences and don't feel like a social loser anymore, and neither should you, though I totally understand your question. We are all made differently with different preferences, and the more you question it, the more you will better come to know yourself, be comfortable with yourself just the way you are, and be very happy and comfortable in that.

I guess I am assuming you state you are a social loner because your preference is that way, not because you have been ostracized in groups and left out, and I hope that is not the case. :-)

HighFunctioning
03-02-08, 09:45 PM
I've never been a people person. I'm more of a one-person-at-a-time person. I usually cannot stay focused on such group activities, such as social chit-chat. Sometimes I manage to stay engaged to contribute, but most of the time, I lose track of what is going on. I think that this is very much connected to ADHD. While others may not enjoy this picture/idea of having fun, it's probably for different underlying reasons.

Chanston
03-02-08, 09:51 PM
I often listen to french radio, or read a novel, or go to a friend's house. Rarely do I get into these 5 people or more parties, it's usually done as a favour to someone who wants someone familiar to go with.

Scattered
03-02-08, 10:00 PM
I have no idea what an "average" person does on Saturday night, but around my family we usually go to the park for an hour or so right before sundown, have pizza and ice cream for supper, and then watch a family movie DVD with our kids. I know, I know -- I'm a real party animal!:cool:

Ulukabulu
03-02-08, 10:57 PM
Depends for one thing on what kind of person you're talking about.

What the average 18-year-old does is very different from the average 68-year-old, the average married person from the average single person, the average parent from the average person without kids, the average city-dweller from the average country bumpkin, the average rich person from the average not-so-rich person ....

and, yes, the average ADD-er from the average non-ADD person.

In other words there really ain't no 'average'.

The way to get a social life is to look at what your particular interests are and find similar people. Do you have a hobby or a particular pastime that you enjoy? Even if it's something that's usually solitary like reading, many places have book-clubs you can join (or you can perhaps try starting one of your own).

mrs A
03-03-08, 03:37 PM
I agree 100 %. What's average? I don't think that can be measured as many people you see laughing etc with large groups of friends may also be "faking" it. Or, it may just be a special occasion and not their normal Saturday night.
My daughter has felt that at the high school level. The "popular" girls must be having so much fun and so happy! We all know they have their issues as well, and how much do they do to "look" like they are so wonderfully happy, fake tans, hair color, nails, some even get plastic surgery. But why?
Just focus on what you like to do, you are just as "average" as anyone else.(meaning that in a positive way!)

Brakna
03-03-08, 04:20 PM
This all depends on your age, personality type, and situation in life. I'm a thirty something single guy and I spend most Sat nights (especially Nov-March) at home watching tv or doing chores. I wish I was more outgoing, but this is even more difficult when most of my peers are married with kids.

cameron
03-03-08, 04:21 PM
well, its fairly obvious that what people do on a Satruday night greatly differs, especially among different genders, economic levels, ages, etc..... I feel for you Conversationist. I have similar frustrations. When I go out, I notice a lot of people in groups of three or more(restaurants, bars, clubs, etc), not many people in sets of two's or solo(especially solo). I would like more of a social network myself, but I seem to be to critical of people, and if I think they are; "different", get on my nerves, have nothing in common, etc., I will blow them off. This probably explains why I don't have many friends, and no social life.

Conversationalist, how old are you? I wouldn't be caught dead hanging out in a mall at my age!

The bottom line is; the older you get the less of a social circle you usually have. Especially true with people in their 30s and older.

Luthien
03-03-08, 05:24 PM
I've never been a people person. I'm more of a one-person-at-a-time person. I usually cannot stay focused on such group activities, such as social chit-chat. Sometimes I manage to stay engaged to contribute, but most of the time, I lose track of what is going on. I think that this is very much connected to ADHD. While others may not enjoy this picture/idea of having fun, it's probably for different underlying reasons.

Even with all the things said that the "average person" does not exist (I think that, too) there IS a sort of group-type flocking together that is utterly alien to me. I feel the same as HighFunctioning.

meadd823
03-04-08, 03:40 AM
I like to go over to the large regional mall near my home on Saturday night and walk around and watch the people. If the indication I get from the Mall is correct the average person is a social butterfly with huge groups of friends. The bars and restaurants are full of large groups of people sitting at large tables surrounded by large groups of friends who are just having the greatest time

How would you know these are average people? Wouldn't this just represent those who go to the mall, restaurants or bars. Maybe it is the ones in really large groups who attracted your attention- there plenty of lonely people at malls, restaurants and bars but they are normally quieter and therefore less noticeable.

What I do on a typical Saturday night - well you are reading it - sense I am off on Sundays often use Saturday nights to catch up on moderating and catch up with my my friends and family on myspace -

This Saturday night I got a special treat - I got to take my daughter and grandson out to eat at a local restaurant {local means under 50 miles *80.46 kilometer* away} - she got to see what BFE {bum-****-Egypt} really looks like {sort of like no-where ville}

Yes people out here really do live 20 miles *32.18 kilometer* from the nearest fast food chain which by the way renders it no longer fast food because it is usually quicker to cook some thing than drive 40 miles*64 km* round trip . .

The nearest mall ooooo which is in Austin this would be about 75 miles *120.km* - one way

I do not know if I am normal average or what but I don't frequent the malls - I do more on-line shopping due to the shorter driving distance {mail box 1 mile *1.6 km* round trip or mall 150 miles *241.40km* round trip :rolleyes:}



*miles conversion (http://www.onlineconversion.com/length_common.htm)*

Matt S.
03-04-08, 05:20 AM
One should not have to feel bad because they aren't one of the sheep of society. (I just came up with that one, impulsivity at it's best:D)

Bluerose
03-04-08, 09:26 AM
Good question. But the answer would depend on so many things.. Age for a start. I'm older and occasionally go out for a drink or maybe dinner with one or other of my sisters. But most Saturdays it's me, grandkids, food and movies.

piglet
03-05-08, 11:47 AM
I'm extremely average.
Half the Saturday nights, I work.
Other half, split between vegging at home, or out with the family.
But I may not be the demographic you're targeting.