I have heard that people with A.D.D. have social problems. I know that I personally have problems being at parties or where there is a lot of noise or people. Is this one of the traits associated with A.D.D.?

Also, is light and sound sensitivity characteristic too?

i have the same [problem] in does places to

It is part of it, although the paradox (like ADHD tends to be) is that I can party hard...

I have heard that people with A.D.D. have social problems. I know that I personally have problems being at parties or where there is a lot of noise or people. Is this one of the traits associated with A.D.D.?

Also, is light and sound sensitivity characteristic too?

Social problems as in dealing with people or being affected by the environment (or both)?

I can get auditorially distracted in loud situations, but not always uncomfortably so.

I have heard that people with A.D.D. have social problems. I know that I personally have problems being at parties or where there is a lot of noise or people. Is this one of the traits associated with A.D.D.?

Also, is light and sound sensitivity characteristic too?

Hi I wrote about this another post. If you would like to know about the light and sound stuff check it out.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=556660#post556660

What you are describing sounds like HSP, the highly sensitive person: http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/ (http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/) I don't think all of us that have ADD also are HSP.

What you are describing sounds like HSP, the highly sensitive person: http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/ (http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/) I don't think all of us that have ADD also are HSP.

Yes! That is what I was going to suggest. All my life I've been told I am "being too sensitive" and made to feel bad about this, when actually it's no different than someone being color-blind - it's not something I'm choosing to do, I can't help being this way. It's the way I'm wired.

Loud noises make me scream myself. I cannot focus on just one voice when there are many voices all around me or other noise like the tv or radio or vacumn or something squeaking or the neighbor's stereo thumping. I cannot sleep at night unless I have a fan or some kind of "white noise" to block out all the other noises (not drown out the noises, just let my mind ignore them).

And light is very difficult for me. My daughter fought with me for years about wanting to have the curtains open to the sunlight and finally we compromised with semi-sheer drapes in the living room and she gave up on the window in the dining room next to my computer desk and lets me keep the mini blinds closed. My grandkids have learned to close the front door behind them because it's white and it reflects the light straight into my eyes - arrggghhhhh!

I'm also sensitive to the touch of my clothing. I can remember as a child kicking off my shoes all the time because they were so uncomfortable. I tend to wear soft t-shirts and jeans all the time, can only wear cotton underwear and NO underwire bras, cannot wear a headband or even a hat. And I cannot sleep with another person because I am so hyper-aware of being touched in my sleep or the sound of the other person snoring keeps me awake.

I don't have sensitivity to clothes, but I hate wearing jewelry (except rings), because they rub against my skin.

In social settings, I definately don't like the noise, but also I think I just have difficulty holding conversations. Especially breaking the ice.

Yes! That is what I was going to suggest. All my life I've been told I am "being too sensitive" and made to feel bad about this, when actually it's no different than someone being color-blind - it's not something I'm choosing to do, I can't help being this way. It's the way I'm wired.

Loud noises make me scream myself. I cannot focus on just one voice when there are many voices all around me or other noise like the tv or radio or vacumn or something squeaking or the neighbor's stereo thumping. I cannot sleep at night unless I have a fan or some kind of "white noise" to block out all the other noises (not drown out the noises, just let my mind ignore them).

And light is very difficult for me. My daughter fought with me for years about wanting to have the curtains open to the sunlight and finally we compromised with semi-sheer drapes in the living room and she gave up on the window in the dining room next to my computer desk and lets me keep the mini blinds closed. My grandkids have learned to close the front door behind them because it's white and it reflects the light straight into my eyes - arrggghhhhh!

I'm also sensitive to the touch of my clothing. I can remember as a child kicking off my shoes all the time because they were so uncomfortable. I tend to wear soft t-shirts and jeans all the time, can only wear cotton underwear and NO underwire bras, cannot wear a headband or even a hat. And I cannot sleep with another person because I am so hyper-aware of being touched in my sleep or the sound of the other person snoring keeps me awake.

Wow, I'm quite similar with the bright sunlight thing. And also the sleeping with another person thing. Oddly enough, I can sleep like a baby with my beside lamp (also bright) on all night though, go figure.

In my case though, having very fair freckle-and-mole-prone skin it may be a phobia about sunburn and skin cancer rather than actual sunlight.

Ever considered (sounds a bit silly but it might work) wearing sunglasses indoors as a compromise? Your grandkids'll think you're a rock star :)

I have a problem with crowds(usually only bar type places though). I also don't like doing to many group activites with lots of people. I tend to get real quiet and just observe. I also don't like a lot of noise usually--unless its at a sporting event like a football game.

Wow, I'm quite similar with the bright sunlight thing. And also the sleeping with another person thing. Oddly enough, I can sleep like a baby with my beside lamp (also bright) on all night though, go figure.

In my case though, having very fair freckle-and-mole-prone skin it may be a phobia about sunburn and skin cancer rather than actual sunlight.

Ever considered (sounds a bit silly but it might work) wearing sunglasses indoors as a compromise? Your grandkids'll think you're a rock star :)

I sunburn easily too, but bright light really does -hurt- my eyes. In the daytime when it reflects off the chrome or glass of other cars as I'm driving it nearly blinds me unless I'm wearing sunglasses. At night if the headlights on another car are angled poorly or if someone doesn't dim their lights or some of those new halogen headlights - and again I'm blinded.

I wear large and very thick eyeglasses and it's hard to find sunglasses that will fit over them. I have one pair of clip-on's that are getting pretty scratched. I used to have a pair of amber-tinted wrap-around sunglasses, the kind hunters wear for hunting in the snow, and they really took out the glare without being so dark I couldn't see clearly but I haven't been able to find a pair of those again. I could even wear them at night. WAH, I want another pair of amber-tinted glasses.

On social skills & problems: http://www.help4adhd.org/en/living/relandsoc/WWK15

I'm also sensitive to the touch of my clothing. I can remember as a child kicking off my shoes all the time because they were so uncomfortable. I tend to wear soft t-shirts and jeans all the time, can only wear cotton underwear and NO underwire bras, cannot wear a headband or even a hat. And I cannot sleep with another person because I am so hyper-aware of being touched in my sleep or the sound of the other person snoring keeps me awake.


I do like sunlight in my room. Makes me happy :) Except at times when I had a bad anxiety episode, then I hated the light. Could not stand it.
I absolutely share the difficulty with headlights at night. That's exhausting.

But for the rest I am the same .. (except that I have no problem sleeping with another person). I hate synthetic fibres, only want cotton. Bras are hopeless too - I always try and find those things that are just like a tight elastic tank top - that's the least bothersome (although not as functional :( .. give some, take some I guess). And that underwear with those icky thin - how's that called, the top edge, where the elastic is? - well that :)
I liked the underwear we had as kids .. simple, no frills, plain. Hard to find that for grownup girls .. there's almost always some effort put into making it less comfortable .. underwear designers seem to think that there is an inverse relationship between comfy and feminine. Silly.
No jewels, no piercings (ugh), no watch, no earrings, no hat, no nothing.
I love mountain boots bc they are so comfy

and I don't like crowds .. feel really uncomfortable there. Same with parties where I dont know a lot of the other people, and even then I tend to try and find one person that I know bc that feels safe.

It is already hard to follow a conversation without other distraction but in a noisy setting it is impossible. It drowns in the ambient noise.

So all this results in maybe not avoiding all things social, but a good part of it. My idea of having a good time is to go with two or three friends (MAXIMUM!) to a pub, curl up in the corner, have a drink and let them do the talking while I dream away.
There are some people who appreciate it that, when I visit them, I am quiet and mind my own business .. they apparently appreciate it that they do not have to entertain me. But with most people, it is quite awkward. I feel like I have to play a role that I have not studied.

whoa long post :)

Luthien,

Check out www.titlenine.com (http://www.titlenine.com) for undies. They have great bras, too. And I'll bet you'll love the catalogs. ;) No phony models, all real women athletes with regular jobs, too. I like to read the little blurbs about the "models."

Sandy

Tags on clothes, smell, lights that are bright... sensitivity is irritating to me... people chewing, people breathing distractions... clocks ticking.

I'm definately a sensitive type, as someone else just expressed, i have a real issue with proximity and listening to others eat, it is unbearable. The same is true of sound and noise generally, i find stations to be particularly irritating places to be. I guess thats why i became a sound designer, i guess there are definate advantages to these things we seem to find so negative initially.

I dont know if anyone else has any experience with this, but since i spend alot of time editing in artificial light, i obtained an SAD lamp, seems to make a difference.

I also find being in large groups uncomfortable, im ok with a few people. I find clubs are awkward places, especially if i dont like the tunes, as i cant talk to anyone because i cant keep up the shouting and im surrounded by people and noise, tis very draining..

re: sensitivity issues

Currently, I am reading this book on sensitivity: I really recommend it.

http://www.amazon.com/Loud-Bright-Fast-Tight-Overstimulating/dp/0060932929

--

re: social problems

I don't think there is one standard set of "social problems" an ADDer has... I'd say the problem is more in the extremes of social fx. This has been written about many time before on this board.

--

re: other explanations of Social problems

e.g. Some ADDers as "low self monitors" or having "low EQ"

Also, Some ADDers have co existing LDs. Things like NVLD, which is often NOT diagnosed, and can cause HUGE problems socially. Folks with NVLD tend to be total social outcasts.

http://www.nldontheweb.org/heller.htm

What you are describing sounds like HSP, the highly sensitive person: http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/ (http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/) I don't think all of us that have ADD also are HSP.
Wow.. that describes me 100%.

I don't always dislike crowds (I have a thing for nightclubs and partying) but don't trust people in large packs at all. I'm not suspicious but just think that most people are stupid and even dumber in packs.

Surrounded by constantly posting ADDF internet posters like me when I should be in bed ... drives me to social isolation (except in dreams, where it's one heck of a party) ... G'night! ;)

Some HSPers would do well to look into ways to reduce the "stim" around them.

Some kids (esp kids who have communication or disability problems like autism) can go pretty wild when they get Sensory Overload.

Imagine that the lights are burning light, the sounds stabbingly painful, but you can't 'say or do anything' to communicate this?

This book suggests that a lot of disabled kids with behav. probs are really having problems with overstimulation.

I know I get overloaded, especially when I'm not feeling well physically. My 6 year old granddaughter is getting very verbal now but she is no better than I am at expressing what she's feeling. HOW do you tell others that "it's all just too much"?

QueensU_girl, do you have any suggestions for reducing the amount of input or "stim" we are dealing with?

I definitely feel it with busy and noisy places likes bars. People tell me I'm so quiet and should talk more, but it's next to impossible with that much going on to distract from the conversation. Especially when the conversation isn't engaging. On the other hand, if I'm into it or somewhere calmer I can talk a mile a minute.

blinding :cool:

My ADD affects me socially by not being able to follow people when they are talking to me. I come off as i just don't care or i'm aggrevated by the fact they are even talking to me. It basically makes me seem like i'm this cold insensitive prick who could care less what anyone has to say...Like i just can't be bothered or i think i'm "above them." I can't make friends like that..I mean who would wanna be around someone like that anyway. There are people that literally can't stand being in my presence because of my ADD. When i was younger i got very defensive when people reacted negatively to me and constantly ended up in fistfights and thrown into jail. To me it's just profoundly weird to sit at listen to someone talk to me and not be able to hear/understand a thing they say.

I am fairly to sound/touch. Mostly I can just put it to the back of my mind, though, now (being an adult). It often severely frustrated me as a child, though.

As for social issues: Yeah, kids with ADHD experience them more than most. Possibly why 50% of people with ADHD have depression.

Check these materials out Stjmz as they may shed some light on your situation:

http://www.help4adhd.org/en/living/relandsoc

best wishes fellow traveler :cool:

My ADD affects me socially by not being able to follow people when they are talking to me. I come off as i just don't care or i'm aggrevated by the fact they are even talking to me. It basically makes me seem like i'm this cold insensitive prick who could care less what anyone has to say...Like i just can't be bothered or i think i'm "above them." I can't make friends like that..I mean who would wanna be around someone like that anyway. There are people that literally can't stand being in my presence because of my ADD. When i was younger i got very defensive when people reacted negatively to me and constantly ended up in fistfights and thrown into jail. To me it's just profoundly weird to sit at listen to someone talk to me and not be able to hear/understand a thing they say.

hmm... i am sensitive to:
Bright lights and sunbursts. When I was in school I didn't like to go outside during recess on sunny days, because I couldn't see anything. If I would have thought about it back then, i probably should have just asked my parents to buy me some sunglasses.

Also extremely sensitive to sunburst light, like car headlights, and on particularly bad days, even traffic lights. I have major problems driving at night in areas without street lights because there is no diffusion of light...if another car is coming my way, it looks to me like he has his brights on even when he doesn't.

And, I am sensitive to jewelry. I can't stand to wear rings or watches. My dad bought me a watch that I take with me places, but I normally keep it in my pocket. Oddly, I have left it somewhere and have still not found it...


oh! and I can not stand to be in crowded areas.

I haven't been diagnosed with ADD yet - going this week for an evaluation. But I am very sensitive to sound - I get very upset with loud noises and almost feel like my heart starts to flutter such as when Im at the train station and a train goes by. I also startle easily to loud noises. I also feel the same fluttering listening to my husband snore at night - almost makes me feel nervous. I started using a humidifier at night to 'drown' out some of the snoring so I can sleep at night.

I also have a hard time hearing people in noisy places - get way to distracted with the other noises. And its impossible for me to talk to 2 people at the same time - but im sure that's not easy for most people to do.

As far as smell - we have 3 cats and I can smell the litterbox from a mile away. My husband can't smell a thing and Im ready to be sick from the smell. I am absolutely an over-smeller - I smell EVERYTHING. Drives me crazy sometimes.

I also can't stand bright lights and get annoyed at touch at times.

I am at my parents right now and my frustration level is about to peak where I want to start pulling my hair out. This is a good example: My elderly father God bless him, is sittiing in a chair thats squeeking, sipping hot tea where I can hear slurping sounds. My mother who I am taking to the hospital for some seriouse testing, has been talking non-stop about herself or how everything in someway relates to her. The home shopping network which I despise as she is shopoholic and thinks everyone around her cares about what she thinks about each and every one of their products. Plus her old dog has peed on the carpet and I can smell nothing but dog pee. By the way I love animals and between my boyfriend and I have 7 dogs, two of which live inside. I love my parents too but I just want to run screaming from their house at this time. I know now from reading this forum it is overload. When I was reading earlier my mother kept inturrupting my reading and with all the background sounds I felt panicky. I snapped at her and hurt her feelings, and in a few more hours she will be knocked out having medical test done (morning guilt pill). I'm now putting together why I've always got so frustrated with her.Plus my parents have been having huge fights and scream at each other. I can't stand screaming. I should be worried about her and all this overides the worry and all I can think about is, "I've got to get out of here"! (double that guilt shot). I crave being social, where I live is fairly isolated (about 40 miles from major city) plus I very seldom leave the property. When I feel this way I will look up properties on the internet in the middle of no-where and dream of living very isolated, one day. I have always thought, "someplace where I can collect my thoughts". Now I know why, I really can't handle the destraction.