This is completly a rant and if you can understand then I'm so sorry and if you have no clue what I'm talking about thank God for you.

Today, I have been criticized by three different people for falling back into old habits. Never once did they stop to ask if I was feeling all right or if something was bothering me.

Do people honestly think I enjoy letting them down or causing hurt? I don't this is not how I get my kicks and nobody can beat me up worse then I do myself already I have this incredible fear of letting those I love down, the thought that I have failed at something terrifies me. I know that I can seem withdrawn, inattentive, selfish; but, have you ever tried to spend twenty-four hours, seven day's a week focusing on your bahaviour's without getting worn down.

Do they even realize that when I let them down no matter how small the offense I loath myself and I mean abosolutly hate myself for hurting them. The people who are in my life are there because I adore and love them why would I cause them pain on purpose and with such callous regard.

Behavorial changes do not come naturally to me...It is not like breathing I have to think about everything I have changed every second of every day and then to have new changes demanded of me at times is just more than I can bear.

I used to be good enough, smart enough, funny enough; but, since my diagnose's my husband and friend's honestly think that their constant criticism and demand's for change are going to make me feel better about myself. So, if I change the core of my being then I'll be happy right? Is that right? Doesn't feel right; but, sound's right.

Am I really asking too much: TIME change does not come easily but if given time it will come. UNDERSTANDING ADD is frustrating not only for non-ADD'ers but for me as well I know the problem is all mine, right? DIGNITY I would like to know that if I slip a little someone is not going to get in my face and yell or call me hurtful names. TOLERANCE nobody is perfect, right? am I right on that one or has something slipped my attention? LOVE even though I have been ridiculed, laughed at and had jokes made about me I still LOVE those I hold dear. FORGIVENESS how am I supposed to forgive myself if they cannot?

I feel like I'm standing under water screaming until my throat is bloody and raw and nobody hears or wants to hear. I mean I wasn't put on this earth to conquere, I'm "support staff" easily replaced and forgotten with no special skills to call my own right? Is that right? It must be.

So, UNDERSTANDING, TOLERANCE, DIGNITY, LOVE, FORGIVENESS who am I to ask.

Well, that's my life or something like it lol. I don't expect replies and I don't blame the first moderator who comes along to delete this post. Just had to say it once.

Hugs,
Cherity

AAAAHHHHHHHH yes I forgot the biggest of them all ACCEPTANCE...acceptance that something's are just too much a part of me and cannot be changed without losing my identity. I am not talking about running late or stuff like that. I'm talking about the fact I see no problem with friend's calling me at 3:00am because they are too upset to sleep or that I cry when someone is hurting...This is a part of me I cannot change it nor do I want to.

I am sorry to hear that people are being sosh itty

The problem is not yours if people's behavior to you has such an effect. You're not a bonsai tree that can be shaped by people's constant snipping and twisting. I wish I had some advice for how to confront people about this and make them aware of their crappy attitudes, but you know me

So you were criticised more after they knew about your diagnosis? Isn't that kind of like how regular fish will nip and bite at the long veil-fins of goldfish, because they are different? Maybe they are trying to help you, but don't know of any other ways to help. No one is perfect, absolutely right. Maybe they want to be able to stop thinking that for a moment, to forget that they have issues- and take it out on you, the easy target. I get that from my sister a lot. She doesn't have ADHD, or any label of any sort- but she still has issues. She likes to make it look like my issues make her look like she has her stuff together sometimes. I had to tell her a few months ago that things just don't work like that. She can't ignore herself by trying to hack away at me for my flaws.

I hope this works out with people and they stop being so rude and negative. I am sure they can stop that behavior somehow; compassion, patience, removal of stick from butt. Or maybe I'm missing something. Take it easy, I'm glad you're you, and I know I'm not the only one.

Thanks, I know it makes me sound crazy; but, I honestly don't think it's too much for any human being to ask for...I mean who died and made us judge? Doug is seeing someone about his anger issue's and has been making progress and I forgive his slip ups why can't he forgive mine. I don't know somewere down the line there is a place were the forks in this road meet...I just hope we get there at the same time lol.

No, I am sorry if my response made it sound like I thought you were crazy- YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. My responses sometimes sound crazy. Those things are not too much to ask for, especially of those who you love and treat that way yourself. I get fed up sometimes that in this world those are not guaranteed, from anyone! I understand your frustration, I hope your loved ones will come around and meet you halfway. I am sorry (and sorry I do not know how to say something that might cheer you up)! Sending good vibes your way, take care

Hey omg you took me so wrong...communication skill's suck ya know lol. What I meant is that too the "normal" eye I probably do sound crazy. I have no doubt in my mind you know exactly how I feel not only the pain and frustration; but, the relief when someone acknowledges and accepts you for who you are. And you did make me smile especially at the end I was just having a bit of a pity party for myself. I do that once in awhile for entertainment. lol Your a beautiful person subtle inside and out and don't ever let anyone tell you different and quite frankly I like you just the way you are too.

Futsy You shouldn't have to change for anyone...I feel the same way when I hurt some one I love...like I am the most evil person alive and I need to be shot.:( If people can not understand me or accept me for who I am, as in "What do I care" the sun will still rise without your say. You sound perfectly normal to me and your concerns and feelings are understandable....they may think we are nutss....but I think some of us feel the same about them, it's almost like we are two differnet speices..granted it's not supposed to be like that...we are all humans..if they want us to understand them..why can't the try to understand us? Great No I am ranting :p!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear if I ever have money I'll hire a two-way interpreter for in and out going communications :D My bad. Futs you are so kind you are making my head explode and you're not supposed to because this thread is for you! Ditto to you, thats why it is frustrating that you are getting so much undeserved flack!!

Let us know how it goes, I have yet to figure out how to get people to accept me who don't, or at least to tone down reactions to mistakes. I hate how people try so hard and still get whipped for being human!

futsy - unfotunately, i got it. i hear it often - you're right back to your old ways - from my husband, no less.... you have my sympathy. nobody on earth can beat us up like we do ourselves.
and yes, the constant criticism is depressing.

I am listening to my daughter and husband who have been going it at it for the past hour. she is add; he is ? i don't even know what to call it - inflexible, unwilling to learn about add, incapable of accepting OUR difference. his way is to critisize.... i hate it. i am sure she does, too. but, since he is my husband, i have chosen the cowards way out in this instance, and here i sit, at the computer, online and listening to music to drown them out. I am a coward....

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Nucking_Futs
[B] What I meant is that too the "normal" eye I probably do sound crazy......; but, the relief when someone acknowledges and accepts you for who you are.


Futs... This is inspiring to me... not what I quoted, but your initial 2 posts at the start of the thread. I see the look in my son's eyes now & then, when understanding finally takes over & I "get it"... your description of how you feel I'd swear is what my 7-yr old son would like to say but doesn't have a clue how to express. Like the daily routine of ups & downs in his feelings. Me... often not "getting it"... gets so frustrated & wish he could blurt out exactly how he feels, just like that. As time goes on & I get hopefully get better at this often turbulent mom/son relationship, maybe I'll get to the last part... the relief when I acknowledge & accept him for who he is, rather than trying to change him into what he probably can not be.

Mel the problem is that yes we should be more adaptable; but, it is a two way street. Something's about myself can definatly use improvement; but, other aspects of my personality I am totally unwilling to give up. And you know by now you can rant all you want in my post's.

Subtle whether you realize it or not you deserve the compliment's handed out and I know for a fact that I am not the only one who feel's this way about you...I think the saddest thing ever is a wonderful person who does not hear it enough and that is you and I'm here to change that so get used to it.lol And my post's are for EVERYONE not just myself. Here I know I am safe to say what I feel and I am never alone.

Judit you are NOT a coward...I know exactly what you mean though. I too have to step back and regroup myself before stepping between my husband and my son or it turn's into an all for all battle. NO winner's no loser's just a bunch of pain. I have found it hard to get thru to my husband how I feel inside when he will not acknowledge my pain and that I DO know I hurt him at times and it is never intentional. I have no answer for that one only prayer's that I can offer you and your family freely.

Something's can be changed with ease...Other's take time and constant thought and when we get tired or are sick or depressed our mind cannot control these issue's. Just remember that he will slip back into old behaviours at times and when he does make sure he is feeling well, rested and nothing is eating at him. Unfortunatly, another aspect of ADD is depression so mental health does have a lot to do with it. And even I an ADD'er myself lose patience with my two children both ADD. So, don't beat yourself up and alway's reinforce criticism with love. I would not take the criticism's so hard if just once the good I do is acknowledged. i.e. I know your working hard hon but I really needed you to remember to mail my prescription's in. It's not hard just an overlooked detail that mean's a lot. Your allowed to be human too ya know.

Sorry, last paragraph was for you SonwithADHD your allowed to slip up once in a while too. The point is without communication all is lost.

BTW today's event's had nothing to do with my husband...He came home and found me crying and Dakota had a bad day at his camp in with the Cub Scout's. So, he took us out to dinner and a movie and when we were walking to the car he leaned over and told me he was sorry he didn't mean to make me cry again. lol They (non-ADD'ers) do notice and I think it bother's them too how hurtful they can be at times. And that is why I forgive him when he slips and let's his anger override his tongue...He honestly does have a heart and on day's like today I know he truly loves me.

Cherity....you are one of the most giving and wonderful people i have met. I don't think you could let someone down if you tried.... it is just not in your nature. I can totally hear where you are coming from (my life story). About 7 yrs ago I let all of that get to me....... and get to me BAD!!!! Now i don't really care what anyone thinks..... might be why i dont' talk to my family much..... but my life is much happier. Don't change who you are....you are a wonderful caring person and i love ya just the way you are (warts and all). Hang in there!!!
xoxox
Chris

Hey Chris you promised the warts were just between us lmfao...I am being a little selfish right now you see I want more than anything to finish school and I have been spending a lot of time on the net trying to find the right grant's which is not the easiest all those pop ups get me lost. But, it is something I HAVE to do for ME. I am finding it harder and harder to like myself...I know deep inside I have not reached my full potential. I have never wanted anything more than to finish nursing school and I'm hyper focused on achieving this goal for MYSELF. Even wives and mother's have dream's.

Hi - I think that is a wonderful goal! I am also going to get some schooling, for medical transcription online. I had a problem with the stupid pop up adds, but someone gave out a web address on another post for the Google Toolbar, which is free, and I will pass it on to you. It's http://toolbar.google.com/ Hope it helps!

lol OK your going to think this incredibly stupid; but, I have google and never use it. don't ask me why; but I will put it to use this time...Thank you for reminding me and Welcome to the forum's I hope you find the ppl here as supportive and thoughtful as I have. Good luck.

Thank you for the welcome. It's great to be able to connect with others who can understand.

Cherity,
Hope things are better. I think a good portion of us go through times with our spouse/significant other/friends where they do not understand. As you know I deal with this regularly with my spouse. I can relate to what you are feeling very easily. Changeing is very hard. I think sometimes non ADD people expect us to be able to change into some new super human after we have been diagnosed and start finding out what is going on with us. The key I think is to keep moving foward even when we fall back and we will fall back. It does seem odd to me in dealing with my issues that my wife seems to think she has nothing to change. That is the hardest part. Just remember all of you are special and unique humans that my world would be emptier if I did not share little peices of it with you guys. I do not know where I am going with this.
Have a great day.,

That's OK Biking I knew were you where you were going with it and I would finish if I could remember. *giggles* But, you did make a point -- IF RELATIONSHIPS ARE GOING TO WORK IT TAKES TWO PPL CHANGING AND GROWING TOGETHER NOT APART.

Hugs and kisses everyone ya'll deserve it.
Cherity

Futs- Nursing School? Thats fabulous!! You tell me recovery takes time- so does any dream, and I hope you have patience with yourself as you do the footwork and get closer to your goal.

"I think the saddest thing ever is a wonderful person who does not hear it enough "

Futs, you are smart, kind, insightful, intuitive, brave, and you smell good (I just threw that in cuz it might be getting overwhelming for ya). With all your gifts, I have no doubt you'll meet your dream of a diploma in nursing and you'll be a fabulous nurse. I believe in you!

OK now I'm crying...Thank you Ruth I needed that today...Sometimes, I doubt my ability not my ability to do the work, but, I guess me.

Futs- ]why? whats going on today? Doubting yourself sounds like old tapes....Rebuke that old YOU ARE A SCRREWUP tape and replace it with the truth>..you are worthwhile, talented, able, and you smell good :D

WOW even Doug likes the new perfume too,,,guess it's a keeper.

UMMMM no not doubting myself. I work 1 1/2 jobs, house, hubby, kids, charity's i'm involved in I just worry I may be overstepping myself. And my true goal is hospice which tends to freak ppl out but I believe everyone has the right to die with dignity and pain free,,,we do not come into this world alone nor should we leave it alone. BUT, I get attached...So, maybe I will have to think about were I'm actually going to go...It's just a bunch of what if's right now that are tackling me.

Yeah, I can see it would be a risk. Have you volunteered in a hospice or a nursing home?? I volunteered in a nursing home for about a year once and found I couldnt stand it when my favorites died. So I had to quit. I miss it- I love the elderly.

I work full time as a med passer/night charge in a long term care facility...for me death is a new passage, a new adventure. I don't think life ends on earth. BUT, the death's I witness are a blessing a release from year's of pain. It sound's callous I know but when you watch a person cry day and day out because the pain meds no longer work or you have to hear them at night pray for release you would understand better. I have yet to witness a "brutal" or "unnecessary" death. My goodness I sound morbid. Yes it does make me cry even when they are not one of the special ones. But, because of the suffering they had to suffer and are now free from.

Then you sound perfectly suited for hospice nursing,,,god bless yo u like you said i think its so important to let people die with dignity and without pain. You'll be fabulous !

You know it's strange how one awful day and a rant about it can leave me with an entire week of something wonderful. Everyday someone puts something nice on here just to let me know they are thinking about me and I find it help's me overlook the little thing's that bother me so much. It's strange.

I know...I love coming up with new threads cuz there's always something positive to come out of it! I love writing letters and htis is a way to get almost immediate gratification from letter writing.,..more fun than chatting where the conversation is dead and gone so quickly. The people on this site are so positive- haven't read a nasty response yet.

UMMMMMmm i have and I have posted a few myself; but, I like to consider myself an honest person. And I will not put up with any post's that attack another person especially those post's dealing with feeling's...Feeling's are honest and everyone reacts differently and I will not stand by and watch as someone tries to rob another of that right. But I do it in the nicest way I can imagine and with a smile to take the sting away.

Cherity i KNOW you will achieve your goals..... your life just hit a little detour, but that will soon be over!! Good luck and i'm always thinking of you...... i'm the queen of scheduling, so if ya ever need a hand ot scheduling your life.....lemme know ;)
xoxo

That's good cause I'm the queen of OMG I FORGOT TO WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING lol If I'm on track I'm panicked cause I probably forgot something.

Forgot to worry? What a blessing!

Yeah no kidding there.

Im heading out,,its been fun posting with you both
huggg s

HUGS I probably will to Doug will be home soon

cherity,
I think that would be great for you. It takes a special person to work in hospice. Having just seen a death that was needed I can understand exactling what your saying and is not morbid. Dying is a part of our lives. Helping to ease someone into the next step is a great thing. Keep up the positive vibes

Thanks Biking I know how some ppl respond to it...Not that it bother's me I was once that way myself. But, I am glad you and your family had the support you needed and reasurrance that your loved one was cared for well. That's one of the reason's I have no shame in crying in front of the family members I personally would see it as a sign that at least this one person took loved my parent and took good care of them.

Hey, NF -

I haven't read through to the end of this thread but I'm new and I just want to tell you that whatever is going on in your outside world you need to tell yourself that you are a good and giving person. The reason I know this is b/c I'm new to the thread and you made me feel welcome.

It's that simple. I think we all know here that little deals are actually very big deals. So please hold that to your heart for as long as it helps.

Good days.

P.S. I just got done reading the rest of the thread - have to tell you, I think you'd be brilliant at the hospice thing too (I'm sure they could use you here in NY at St. Vincent's) but as the Duchess of Overscheduling, I have to ask ya - can one of the charities go by the wayside if you're going to start this up?

Just askin'...

xo

MRB I did my best to make you feel welcome; because, it's common courtesy and everyone deserves that much. I now know you deserve my respect; because, you took time out of your day to make mine a little brighter,,,that speak's highly of you.

I work at a home run by nun's lol I find it a little funny; because, as a child they terrified me. But, they are actually wonderful women and have helped me a lot. I swear I have heard of St. Vincent's before...is this a popular place? lol What kind of facility is it?

That's the hard part I have been trying to decide which of my charity's I can give up when I go back to school. But, sadly they all mean so much to me. I'm a rape advocate at the college,,,the girl's call me so they have someone to hold their hand and explain procedures to them--I cannot/willnot let this one go. I help with the Cub Scouts--I love my son I need this time with just him. The soccer team I coach--I need this for time alone with my daughter. The firehall wives I can let go I find it boring and the other wives to be honest I find them kinda on the cranky side. But, I honestly think while I may have to cut back on the time spent with my charity's I can still keep the ones that mean the most and still excell at school. Believe it or not my IQ is actually quite high when I can keep my focus.

Hugs and thank your for making my day a little better
Cherity

FUTS-
Im sure you'll find time for everything you need to do. I'm so glad you are able to give so much of yourself.

MRB- Welcome girl. Its so great to have you here. I'm looking forward to your story!

Huggs
claudia

I will...I alway's have found the time...I just get a little down at times. But, who doesn't.

Hey, NF - no doubts whatsoever about your IQ. (You're probably off the charts on some of the "emotional intelligence" scales too. You could bottle it and make a fortune here in NYC.) Can definitely see your rationale about the first three charities and will continue to be adamant that Firehall Wives has got to go. (Cranky ladies do NOT get to pull down your GPA. You just never know what some demanding prof is going to ask of you, and you want to make sure you have room in your schedule for last-minute paper and quiz contingencies. Ask me how I know. :D)

RLR - Ruth is my middle name - thanks again for making me feel welcome. Shards of my freako life story are lurking in the career threads - I'm in the middle of a pretty major career-related crisis and have to make up my mind in a hurry - ideal situation for an ADDer, huh? I will organize it off-line so it will make sense and not bore the non-hyperfocusing among us to tears, then submit here ... I have a feeling you give really good advice, and I could sure use some right about now.

Everybody have a great day ...

MRB-
Im trying to stay away form unsolicited advice but i have to confess, there is nothing i like to hear more than "WHAT DO YOU THINK " LOL ...unless maybe its "would yo ulike another piece of pie"

MRB being totally serious here have I met you in chat before? But, I can definatly tell you are going to be an asset to the forum. I am a little nervous about the last minute detail's of college life,,,last minute surprise's tend to throw me off. So, that does definatly scare me.

Hey, who said pie?

I give advice and totally expect ya'll to ignore it,,,I talk cause I like the sound of my voice sometimes. lmao

I like the sound of my own voice to Futs. :-) Psychologists have a name for that you know. It's called "self talk" It's not suprising ADDers do it a lot. Most folks do it starting very heavily as children and tapering off as we get older. Only ADDers tend to not taper off so much. Probably because it's main function is as an aid to working memory to help "re-enforce" a task. We need all the re-enforcement we can get! Of course, that mainly refers to talking to yourself, and we are talking about just talking to much aren't we?... Well, I just demonstrated I do that too didn't I?

Futs,
Sorry I haven't been able to post in this thread. I will try to get my thoughts out.
You were the first person to show compassion towards my situations in the few posts that I have submitted. To be able to show such compassion and "love" to a stranger is a most rewarding quality. You have taken the time to cheer me up even when your life is "crazy" (no offense, only word that came to me). I really appreciate that. You are an asset to this community and this place would not be the same without you.


Just realized that my thoughts may or may not have been on topic. I do that all the time.

YOu are a wonderful person with many great characteristics and the biggest heart I know of.

From all of us, thank you for posting here.

OMG it's kill Futs with kindness week and nobody warned me lol.

E-boy thank you for letting me know I'm not entirely nuts. I needed that. So, next time Doug ask's "who are you talking to woman?" I'm gonna say "Me, myself and I are having a private, healing, self talk. And we did NOT invite you" lol can you imagine the look on the poor guy's face. Nah, actually last night he decided to get up and help me at first he was only in the way. But, I started talking and we were running thing's back and forth and did make a lot of headway and I was able to get 4 hours sleep. He's a good guy.

WOW 88 that was the most sweetest thing. I don't know why you had the urge to tell me that but WOW Thank you. And I took the time for you because I knew you were hurting and I know what it feels like when no one acknowledges my pain. And because I KNEW you were a good guy and I wanted you to stick around.

Hugs you two,
Cherity

I can be a sweet guy sometimes. You may not hear that from the wife on most days (today, included), but I try.

I meant every word, too.

Is this a love fest? I want to add my two cents. Futs knows instinctively how to approach someone with out offending, overly sympathizing or beating around the bush. She's done it with me many times. Of course you all would appreciate her, she's alot like all of you :)

awww i wanna play, i wanna play!!!

when i fail a test and get a 43%, futs points out all the ones i got right and i feel better.

when im beating myself up, futs asks me who died and left me judge jury and executioner, and i laugh.

when im beaten up, futs binds the wounds and sings to me and i feel whole again.

thats on a bad day :D

I will agree with everyone else here about futs. She is the forum cheerleader! Only she is not just cheering to cheer. She is cheering to help the team( us). I think we all try to be that way here.

There are plenty of others out there too!!

Well we have established couple thing's here today

1. You guy's are there when I need you most with a kind word when I have none for myself.

2. YOU are ALL wonderful lol I'm at a loss for words how often do you see that?

3. While I may not be able to scream yet,,,I can cry (do NOT worry it's a good cry).

I needed you guy's right now and you have NOT let me down...Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

Cherity

Yeah, well you all don't know the Futs I do! When we were kids she came up to me on the play ground, told me I smelled funny, gave me a wedgy that still hurts to this day, and then took all my jelly beans and hoisted up the flag pole by my BVD's! :-(

She's only nice now 'cause she found Jesus! If I was Jesus I'd a'run away a'fore I got a wedgie!

Oh, all right, I made all that up! Futs is wonderful. Me? I'm a big fat loser. Just ask my wife.

You are wonderful to E-boy. Maybe i should refraze that you are a good guy :D Do not want people to start talking.

Yeah especially after planting your hand on my big ol' swedish buffalo butt. People talk ya know! And it was still sore from that wedgie! Have you no soul man?!

Hey i am sorry, but remember it was futs who put my hand there. Hey wait what was going on that day! Futs has a camera to. Ah never mind sorry about your sore butt. Speaking of wedgies when I was a camp counselor I set the record for highest wedgie. I got it to the top of his head. :D And they said I had no tallent

This one time at band camp...

Ok just so you all know E-boy is NOT telling the whole truth. What he neglects to tell is he got a wedgie because he kept snapping my bra. His BVD's were sent up the flagpole cause he froze my bra. Payback's a ***** ain't it E-boy.

As for me putting Biking's hand on his butt,,,I just made their dream's a reality for them.


lmao heheheh

I am speechless. I go to work and lose all track of conversations

lol I blink and lose track of all conversation's isn't ADD great!!!!!!!

I breathe and lose traclk of all conversations, and im not add (i think)

lol red. That is what is so great about written communication...You can alway's go back and refresh your memory.

That is a good thing, if not, I would never know what I do/say

Futs is sooo full of you know what her eyes are brown! First of all she don't wear no bra! Second of all, I am a nice boy, I don't dream of Jim's or any other mans hand on my nice swedish buffalo butt, and I certainly don't go around freezing unemployed bra's! It's all a vast right wing conspiracy to discredit me, and put a republican in the white house! She succeeded too!

Go ahead and gloat Futs, you know you want to!

E-boy you are so full of it...1 st of all if I were to go without a bra I would be tripping over my you know what's.

And yes I do want to gloat I am feeling mighty good today

Futs, that's terrible! Did they get caught in a printing press or something that they got that stretched out? They should print a warning on those things! "Keep breasts away from moving parts". I'll bet if you sued them you could get like alum treatments or something to shrink 'em back up!

Yeh wellllllllll,,, Since I"m a nice person I will not let you drag me down there with you. *sticks tongue out* lol

Welcome back woman. How ya been?

I'm fine thank you for asking and yourself?

You know my story.

Yes I know and I am sorry I did think about it today.

Yeah, me too. Imagine that, ADDults thinking a lot. Who woulda thunk it, huh?

Just because I have ADD does NOT mean I don't think...I just can't control my thought's is all.

I know, I know. that is exactly what I was thinking. thinking about 1000 different things at once. At least that is what I do.

I have often thought about putting what goes thru my mind in one day on paper. Wouldn't that be interesting?

Do you have that much paper? isnt war and peace the longest book? And your brain is so much bigger

hehe I thought of taking a tape recorder along with me.

I have thought the same thing. If I could just sit and write things as they came to me, it would be pretty cathartic

You would sound like an auctioneer.red car, gotta get milk after this appoint......hey nice shoes, the government better do something about the.....what should I make for dinner...so if I knit one and perle two...

lmao you know me too well.

heehee

Wow, you can read my mind? Sucks for you. haha.

BTW, is this forum all ours tonight?

lmao When the cat is away the mice will play!!!!!!!!

meow

awww yeah I forgot you were a ****** *giggles* I'll behave. *crosses fingers*

Hey I can't read asterisk-ese. lol

NOT my problem--

:D I have to remind myself often. *whispers a translation to ken**

Ouch, that hurt. that's gonna leave a mark

she said *whispers* not smacks ya up the head with it. sheesh

Its my nose isnt it? Did it break the skin?

I'm just a little behind, that's all. We are posting so fast, it is looking like the inide of my mind--all confusing and running together.

awww Ken I will type nice and slow so you can catch up; but, if you ever expect to hold a conversation with me you better get used to this I type like I talk. lol

stops for coffee while ken catches up and its no fair Futs gets to make all the jokes I cant

Isn't it like a man to not be able to keep up with a woman?

Shopping, thinking, working. We just don't measure up.

I actually hate to shop, unless I am on a mission, then look out.

That isn't true Ken,,,Well, now that I think about it...

hands futs the charge card

What about that line?

thats why i hate shopping, the lines

I make new friend's in the lines I like em

I did that once, but they called it a line up and her name was Blaze, she wanted my smokes.

You naughty girl, you

Wow you mind reader! thats what i said to her! then she took my purse :(

Sounds like grounds for a fight

uh oh, I'm all alone.

She was easy to take, i yanked her beard til she gave it back.

Taps him on the shoulder.hello?

slow again. We scare Futs off?

I think it was my breath.....do I offend?

Sorry, I was just answering another one of my thread's...God I never realized I was so needy!!!!!!!!








Honestly, I only want it ALL and right NOW

Don't think so. Maybe it was me.

needy or needed?

I am extremely needy

Well futs, trouble in paradise. If ya know what I mean?

Well, I was informed today that I think only of myself.

Here too...Hubby wants me to walk away from my problems and let it rest right now.

Ive heard that alot over the years. Sometimes they were right and sometimes they were way off base. take it with a grain of salt

I am always selfish (if you talk to the right (wrong) person).

apologizes for the whole male gender

I think he's just PMS'ing or he could just be regular ole donkey butt

Happens to the best of us.

males are excellent people. they are protective, producers, often see the trees we may only see the forest. i gave birth to a male and I really get ircked at people picking on a whole gender.

there are a few of us good uns out there.

Lucky for my estranged husband Im not bitter :D

I am NOT picking on the whole gender,,,do NOT forget I too have given birth to not one but two males and I think they are absolutly perfect and anyone who tries to tell me differently will get their heads whacked off.

Ken I already told you...YOU are GOOD last night *giggles mischievously*

Oh i didnt think you were, I was just ranting

Ah, the memories. remember the needy me? he is entering the room. Kick him out, please.

Yeah, there are lots of good males about and far too many bad ones... Sorry don't mean to be a downer. I just get to hear way too many horror stories these days.

I swear the next time my wife's ex goes on one of his stalking campaigns my promise to not do anything to him is going out the window.

Well... I guess that's a bit much, but I'm keeping a baseball bat by the door and if his butt ever breaks into a house she is in again, I'm gonna give him a complimentary chiropractic treatment! I'll also ensure, for the benefit of his own conscience, of course, because I know it must make it awful hard for him to sleep at night, that none of his limbs works well enough to beat anybody for a good while.

See, big dumb swedes are good for more than just getting high stuff, killin' bugs, and bein' speed bumps!

E-boy,

Something happen again? And I'm sorry you do have the right to protect you home and family. Hugs

And we're easier to housebreak than rottweilers!

And arent we the lucky ones for it?

Hey watch it I have 6 Rottweilers. all house broken (it did take a while for some, though).

AWWW E-boy don't be sad,,,I still love ya,,,I was sad when I came on tonight and Chrissy and Ken have me laughing my fool head off now...Follow us.

Im like the pide piper of foolishness tonight

we try. Gotta look out for each other.

Yea specially since Im a klutz

me too, me too. ask my med insurance company.

See this scar? Glass door...see THIS scar?,,,,,,,,,,,

I have to ask is housebreaking a rottweiler like teaching a man to put the toilet seat down.

My wife has me trained, so I would guess it is harder to train the dog

wait......rottweilers use the TOILET?!

You don't know how much I wish that was the case.

The line in the hall way in the morning alone would be killer

lol Ken

Hey you see this scar? cut my foot in half from the middle toe to the ankle. 100 some odd stitches then had to get it restitched the day I got my first set out.

Oh yeah, well 32 stitches in the head--playing Cowboys and Indians very seriously. Down to the bone. Yuck.

You guys are grossin me out

I thought chicks digged scars?

I can not devulge exactly what i dig at this time

*points at Chrissy* oOOOOOooooOOOOO talk about me makin it hard to behave.

So how bout them mets?

I'm a man, I find it the hardest to behave. Especially with my life.

Im getting a headache behaving

I've swallowed my tongue but it's better then some thing's I've.......

Don't women get headaches IN ORDER to behave?

Oh my, Futs. *Blushes*

Glues Futs tongue back in place (her fingers are next :|)

*in deepest voice* HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Just angry Futs. Robin's a Victim's rights advocate. She did a press conference Friday and I watched it later on. Some of the women's stories... One of the Ladies is a friend of Robin's and her ex-husband and abuser is military like me. He's dodging child support, and playing the regs for all they're worth and jurisdictional issues between military and civilian authorities make it difficult to do anything about it. One lady had her 7 year old son murdered, just to teach her a lesson.... Of course, he had left her for dead already as apparently killing her was part of the lesson too.

All of this ugliness just gets me to thinking about my wife's ex again and being as he just got his butt in trouble for not paying his child support and he was ordered to pay or go to jail he's a bit upset right now. He's also not terribly stable. He told my wife that God told him he didn't have to pay the child support. With his history of violent behavior, and interstate stalking, ext. I'm staying up late and sleeping with one eye open.

Paranoid? Nah, I'm not living in fear. I view him the same way I view a rabid dog. I respect the threat, but it's not hard to deal with if you're prepared. Good locks on the doors. The schools have been notified that he is under no circumstances to pick the boys up unless arrangements have been made in advance through both he and their mother. Robin has a cell phone with her at all times, and I have been sleeping in the living room where I can hear better. That last was a request of Robin's that makes her feel better. She felt silly and rescinded it, but I do it anyway (because she still wants me to whether she says it or not).

This time, I think he'll stay where he's at. Mostly because he invests a lot in decieving people about how he is and his latest girl friend is there for him to impress with his "can't keep a good man down" routine. Maybe she'll be luckier than his second wife who got stabbed twice with a pair of scissors and sustained back injuries from being thrown into a wrough iron bed frame. My wife helped put him in jail for that. He was charged at court martial with rape, attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, felonly domestic violence and a number of other charges ranging from identity theft to forgery. Wanna know how much time he did? He got a bad conduct discharge, which isn't even the worst you can get, they plea bargained away the rape charge in exchange for him pleading guilty to felony spousal abuse (apparently the weapon with his prints on it, the injuries matching the weapon and her blood everywhere as well as the witness were not deemed enough to prove their case, and no I'm not kidding). It gets even better though. You see, the prosecutor did not even ask his wife, the victim of the rape and attempted murder, if she was okay with this deal. They just did it. The defense took it gladly, a conviction for rape would have netted him 19 years in prison. Of course 80% of rapes in the military that go to trial are aquitals. Even with video tape evidence and confessions. No this is not a joke, and it's not rumor. I heard that right out of a JAG prosecuting attorneys mouth and she was addressing a question I asked her directly about it. So, I am not sure why they were so worried...

Anyway long story short they sentenced him to the Bad conduct discharge and 7 months in the brig plus time already served. Well between waiting for his courtmartial and the time the proceedings took, that left him several months in the brig. He was such a model prisoner though they took time off his sentence for good behavior. They whole time he was in the brig he was calling in death threats to his second wife's family and her. He did three months in the brig.

Oops. I'm gonna go smoke before I bore everyone to death.

You guys are bad! I sure am glad I'm not a pervert!

sigh, not bored just sad

We aren't that bad. At least the sides are even, now.

Only things I stick in my mouth are cigarettes, anything else is between me my wife and god. Being that I'm an atheist, that's one less blabber mouth to worry about.

LOL

Although the next time one of my wife's friends walks up to me and decides to engage me in a frank discussion about my own sex life courtesy of details furnished by the spouse I swear I'll become celibate just to spite her!

OMG that is so awful...I volunteer as a rape advocate and had to sit at the hospital with a woman who had been brutally and I do mean brutally raped by her own husband.

When I went with her to the DA's office to file the paperwork to press charges and have a restraining order put against him. The DA informed her that they were not pursuing the matter due to the fact the two were married and had been participating in concensual sexual relation's before this incident. I went off and informed him he would be hearing from the college's and the Advocate's attorney's on the matter. Then kinds sorta put my fist thru my driver's side window.

Tell me you wife is taking or will enroll in self defense classes. There is not much a cell phone can do to protect her if he jumps her from behind.

Hugs and will pray for your families stregnth and protection.
Cherity

p.s. being an advocate is a hard job,,,your wife should be proud.

that would teach her

Would certainly teach me to shut up lmao

Why are you so sad Chrissy? BTW your not sad alone tonight.

BRB gotta check the kiddies

I'm sorry, but I am not a locker room talk kind of guy and I enjoy my privacy. Now for her to say things to her friends in a general sense is one thing, but specifics, It's just not comfortable material folks! Natural yes. Naturally private! If I wanted the neighbors to know about it I'd do it on the front lawn! I know for a fact if I was saying stuff to the guys, she's go off like a stick of dynamite.

Oh well, I guess it could be worse. She could be complaining to them.

lol there you go think positivly

Just sad to see so much of this going on in the world is all

Could always be worse, you could have my life. haha

Futs,

The DA's office could get in very very VERY deep KIMSHEE over that one. NO means NO pure and simple and marriage is no carteblanche to grant rape priviledges to a husband. Is this person still in office? What they did could get the state government sued. That's a fellony issue, and under federal law, the fact that consensual sex occured between a man and wife before a rape doesn't change the fact that a rape was a rape. He didn't prosecute because he was afraid he'd lose. Ten bucks says it was an election year. WHAT A JERK! If you know where that woman is still by any chance I have some very good resource contacts I can get from my spouse for folks in D.C. who could help her right this. I am not sure how long it's been, but at very least they could listen to her and tell her how it is supposed to work. I wish you had smashed the drivers side of that DA's head!

Actually, he is NO longer in office. And the husband did end up getting 10 years but will not serve all due to good behaviour but she is safily tucked away somewere.

OMG you know how stupid I am? lol I bought this tree for inside the house at the SAM'S club today. It was so cool I was going to put light's on it and stuff. Well, we were putting it in the trunk when the wind picked up and blew Garrett's blanket off the car seat so I reached for the blanket and slammed the trunk at the same time. Only one problem....the tree was only half inside the car. lmao Doug yell's out "you are really something else" then mumbles "Thank God that is the ugliest **** tree I have ever seen" I died laughing.

Funny story, Futs. Sorry about the tree

LOL poor futsys tree! I am putting white lights up in my bedroom, all over the ceiling, so it will look like stars

Chrissy, Humans are out of their element. Maybe ADDers most of all. Men aren't naturally violent. We are naturally agressive though. Where as in hunter gatherer tribes (the "Natural" human environment) 6,000 years ago agression was focussed on supporting the cohesion of the social group, by providing protection of the young and family from predators or interlopers. Today these protective instincts can easily be twisted into all sorts of maladaptive and pathological paths. Agression easily turns into violence. Somehow protection turns into abuse... We aren't some naturally evil creature Chrissy. We are however a natural Creature. Just out of our element and scraping by.

That is so cool Chrissy we bought blue and white light's for Koda's ceiling. lmao talk about coincidence. lexi wants those butterfly light's those may take a little time they are expensive.

yea....sigh

lights are pretty

Guy's I need to drop the rape and abuse issue tonight I am having a hard enough time sleeping lately as it is....Please

OK. *looks confused*

thanks futs I didnt know how to say it.

Chrissy cheer up! Look at me! I'm clinically depressed and I'm... Well, I'm pretty crappy, but that's because I've got major depressive disorder, or major salad dressing side order, or some such thing. Maybe all I need are some croutons and bacos.

Just say it hurt's Chrissy,,,We love you and respect your boundaries

thanks kid

Actually, I am glad you all said that. I can't even watch lifetime with my wife sometimes cause I get so angry and sad. I'm stewing now. I'm going to smoke and to look for croutons and Bacos.

Just to change the subject here's the gross factoid for the evening about the French:

20% of french men in a 2000 man survey taken in paris commuter trains said it was percectly acceptable to go a full month without changing their underwear. This was published in a major french magazine by the way and broad cast to the american public via CNN. GROSS!

ewwwwwwwwwwww

EEEEEWWWWWWWW I would not even let underwear worn that long in my washer.

Your welcome Chrissy anytime.

Yeah, well I can only assume it that French Neavue Dirtbag thing. I guess the french chicks dig it.

Some women are weird though *looks over his shoulder*

tweeks ken on the head

BIG HUGS for Ken

see how I assumed he meant us.....thats a bad sign

YOu are in the know, Futs.

NO he did not mean us

thank you futs. To my rescue yet again. haha

dadahdaaaaaaaaaaaaa Here I come to save the dayyyyyyyy!!!!!

Had to change the avatar. I'm one handsome mutha *rolls eyes in complete sarcasm*

*grins widly* yes by God you are yes yes yes

And now I must refrain from making another post...And cuddle on the couch with the big guy and watch a movie. *big grin*

Hugs see ya'll later
Cherity

AAWWW, so sweet. Have fun.

I DID and you have to see Radio if you haven't already it's the most sad, but heartwarming film I have seen in a long long time.

Looks good. I may have to check it out. It does have some sports in it.

It's kick butt...So what have you been up too?

i pm'd ya dear

I accidently deleted my messanger and do not know how to get it back.

You just don't want to talk to me, that's all





Go to yahoo and get it back.

I'm trying but they fight dirty there.

Futs we are gonna have to educate you on the wonders of PC software technology and how to make it work. I'm a hardware weenie and even I can manage *INSERT EMPHASIS MUSIC HERE*. So, if you stop allowing the evil machine culture and Bill Gate's Evil empire to intimidate you we'll have you running whatever you want, whenever you want, in no time at all. Hardware is so easy these days I either have to work on ultra complex net works or 1960's era equipment to even use my brain at my job any more... SIGH!

I got it figured out...seems I just needed rest you know how the ADD brain works on little sleep. But, I do admit I need an education I just tell Doug I want this or that and he does it. lol call me lazy. I pay him back by keeping his house clean and his tummy full among other thing's.