View Full Version : Over protective Band director

03-07-08, 09:23 AM
Ok For the past 3 years My band director has been very protective over me. I don't know why but I have been denied so many oppertunities from him. want to do things like Audition for Drum major or section leader but he says that my social skills aren't mature enough yet and hes worried that i won't be able to handle it. He also kept me out of the top band since my freshmen year. Im in the top band now but I just wish he would give me a chance to do things like the other kids. I am a very talented musician but hes not giving me the chance to show it. he said "I still worry about your interaciton with other student while undertaking intense music that demands critical thinking. I worry that the stress will cause you to lash out at your peers." I do not feel that the IB music would be a good fit for you right now. This weekend is festival I volanteered to be a person who leads the bands to there storage room, Warmup room, and Auditorium and he said thank you for volenteering but I don't feel like its right because its a unfamiliar school and hes worried that the directors would yell at me. He said he would never put me in a situation where I feel uncomfortable Sure I have a disability but thats not an excuse to keep me from doing things like my peers. I do appreiate that he cares about me. but does anyone have advice?

03-07-08, 12:25 PM
Hey Bandie, I think you expressed your concerns very well in this post. I know you say that you have a decent relationship with this teacher. Could you just print out what you said here and use that as a prompt for what to say to him? I know it's really hard to stand up for yourself in situations like these, but it sounds like you really want to and need to.

I hope you can get your point across, but it can be difficult with certain people. I definitely had my share of teachers in high school who read my IEP and saw only my weaknesses. That's a problem, because then you never have room to grow. I would think that you (or you and your parents if you have a good relationship with them and they support you) could brainstorm ideas for how you could go into IB band, volunteer, etc, even if it is difficult for you. Maybe just being able to take a little timeout (being able to go to the bathroom/get a drink of water, etc) if you're feeling overwhelmed would help? These are things that can be written into the IEP. If you're able to play the music and keep up with the band, then I'm having trouble seeing how he can keep you out?

03-07-08, 08:05 PM
Bandie, as you know, I've been on some of your other posts, and wonderful Tygersan took the words right out of my hands! Ditto to them all.

You definitely do not need to be sheltered if you are feeling like busting out and doing different things and getting into different situations and learning how to handle them on your own. That is the only way that you can learn more about yourself, the world around you, and be a better you! It's sweet that your BD is protecting you though, that is a cool of him.

03-07-08, 10:59 PM
Yeah exactly schools or colleges all have disability policies.... see if you can make a meeting with the relevant person to discuss this. You have ADD yes... but it doesn't define you for everything! Sounds like you have both talent and a good attitude, good for you!