I mean... unless they also had inattentive a.d.d... I must be pretty boring to just sit there and talk to sometimes because half the time I'm not even realizing I'm zoning out. it upsets me a lot that I can't sit there and follow a conversation with someone for awhile without having to go into a day dream. I can do it when I first meet people if I find them really interesting, but then after hanging out with that person for a little while I just get really bad.Then I think people are my friends a lot more than they consider me as their friend. I tend to not really notice anything or understand jokes either it really sucks. Then sometimes I'm just really slow to understand what someone is talking about. do most of you inattentives have the same problem?

yes .. I've always made friends with people that I can now see were at least quite ADD-like if not having it themselves .. like in having a weird sense of humour, being unconventional etc. I have the same issues you mention with others: zoning out, not getting their jokes (and they dont get mine), just feeling out of place, being really slow to understand them. These ppl find me probably really boring indeed.

But with people that accept me as I am, in 1-to-1 situations, I can be really at ease. They are the ones that do not need to talk .. can accept that I am silent (daydreaming) most of the time - or even liking that on some occasions .. one once told me "I really like it when you're over .. I dont have to entertain you!"

I think that it pays to develop a sense, radar if you like, for people that are a bit like you ..

oh and I noticed that with other add-ers it is really amazing .. then everything clicks into place. No problem following their thoughts .. I found out that that goes for people with and without hyperactivity btw :)

haha ya I know what you mean... ahhh you make me feel much better. Like sometimes I feel like my friends hang out with sometimes just cuz they feel bad for me... but maybe they do enjoy silence and just don't say it. The only reason I think that is because they don't really make an effort to hang out with me, but they are guys tho.They always really welcome me when I comeover. (I live in the dorms) They are a bit silent themselves sometimes because they are big nerds and paly a bunch of video games and watch a lot of movies. I really click with them though, but sometimes it's really hard to when they are joking around in their own guy ways. They also get stoned almost everyday so half the time they are in the their own little world too. God I must say when they are playing video games or watching a movie I'm not interested in (which happens a lot) I pretty much zone out the entire time!!! that's when I get a lil upset and mad at myself cuz I'm trying to pay attention but I can't!


do you get really tired easily especially when you are trying to pay attention to something you don't want to?


and how is the dexedrine working? does it makes socializing problems a lot better?

oh yes, having to pay attention when can't (not really won't) is absolutely wearing me out.

and the dexedrine and socialising .. you know, I cant tell yet. There have been some issues in my private life that make that hard to gauge .. just came out of a relationship that was really bad and I'm now sort of recovering from that.
But I suspect it will. I notice that it is much easier to sit through meetings, for one thing, and it is easier to keep listening to people.

Funny thing is that I really enjoye(d) hanging out with (physics or astronomy) geeks too, bc they are in some ways sa bit similar to us .. I shared their sense of humour too. But I also dont share the video game thing with them

haha that's cool.... yea I guess different dorky people are the best for people with a.d.d.

I also realized I get along with guys much better than girls.. So many girls only talk about partying and boys... it drives me nuts!

let me know how the dexedrine works when ya start feeling better.... you'll feel better soon :). get yourself out as much as you can!

haha that's cool.... yea I guess different dorky people are the best for people with a.d.d.

I also realized I get along with guys much better than girls.. So many girls only talk about partying and boys... it drives me nuts!

oh yes, definitely .. but so much the better if you meet a geek girl - geeky girls rock :)

http://www.badalijewelry.com/images5/ts-girl.jpg

--> will do :) thanks

I have a geeky girl friend. She's a true geek... she is the only person in my school who is in game art hahaha. She has a boyfriend now tho and hangs out with him a lot. But it's a new relationship and she's slowly getting better

maybe it is the same connection there seems to be between giftedness and add .. sharing some properties at least.

I was involved with this group of women try to get more women involved in technology (especially computer (open source) software / hardware ) .. mb I could become more involved with them again .. http://www.emoticons.free.fr/smileys/Personage-Girl/girl.gif

that sounds like a really good idea!!!!!!!! you could find lots of good conversation starters there, since you're into that.



are you pretty sociable or laid back?

er .. I am at ease with 2, 3 others max. I think I posted that somewhere else .. like my idea of the ultimate social happening is going to a pub with two friends , find a table near the window, curl up there and let them do the talking so that I can dream away while touching in on them now and then :)

Everything bigger than that is wasted on me, I'm afraid .. I just shut down. But the 1-to-1-or-2 things can be pretty laid back if they just let me be.

just thinking now .. I think I rather like to "be together" than that I find it necessary to talk. Some form of playing is great though .. musical .. or something silly :)

ah me toooo. yea rrr my guy friends tend to hang out like 6 people at a time and when they aren't stoned and are talking a lot it's so hard to keep up especially when they have a convo im not interested in. Then sometimes they're talking to eachother and ill be sitting on their bed and they'll include me a few mins later and i completely don't hear what they just said to me. hahha they get so annoyed. it's sad hahha that sometimes i like them stoned better cuz they just chill and i can chill too :).

hahah and then when they watch movies sometimes... I love to talk about the movie and they are like shhhhhhhhhhhh no talking during the movie haha.

ah me toooo. yea rrr my guy friends tend to hang out like 6 people at a time and when they aren't stoned and are talking a lot it's so hard to keep up especially when they have a convo im not interested in. Then sometimes they're talking to eachother and ill be sitting on their bed and they'll include me a few mins later and i completely don't hear what they just said to me. hahha they get so annoyed. it's sad hahha that sometimes i like them stoned better cuz they just chill and i can chill too :).
haha that sounds really familiar .. I just see that scene before my eyes, could paint it :)

- oh and the movies .. if I do watch it too I can never distinguish between the characters so I have to ask "hey, is that the same guy as in that scene just then where they drove off in the night?" "shhh" "no it's not .. dont you see that?"

haha really? that's weird. I never remember names or lines in movies. It's ****es me off that I can never remember a line from a movie perfectly... and ya know how everyone always quotes movies. I always know what movie they're talking about, well most of the time, but i can never join in!

haha really? that's weird. I never remember names or lines in movies. It's ****es me off that I can never remember a line from a movie perfectly... and ya know how everyone always quotes movies. I always know what movie they're talking about, well most of the time, but i can never join in!

*confused a bit* - what exactly is weird?

that you don't recognize the character

ohh ok :)
well I can quote from monty python movies - but only from those http://www.emoticons.free.fr/smileys/zz-Uncategorized/scenic.gif

i can quote billy madison and kindergarten cop, because i watched them like 10 times




daymmmm go us.

Wow, that sounds just like me. I catch myself waiting for someone to finish whatever they are saying so I can get my 2 cents in and I feel bad. I tell myself I should listen more.

I heard a quote somewhere that said:

We listen for ourselves and speak for others when we should really listen for others and speak for ourselves.

Does that apply?

yea.... don't you feel selfish sometimes that you can't listen to people cuz it's just not stimulating? and you feel like half the time the only way you can stay stimulated is talking about something thats really interesting or about yourself. But when someone comes to me about being upset i could listen for hours and supposively I give really good advice. Life suuuucksssssssss

I mean... unless they also had inattentive a.d.d... I must be pretty boring to just sit there and talk to sometimes because half the time I'm not even realizing I'm zoning out. it upsets me a lot that I can't sit there and follow a conversation with someone for awhile without having to go into a day dream. I can do it when I first meet people if I find them really interesting, but then after hanging out with that person for a little while I just get really bad.Then I think people are my friends a lot more than they consider me as their friend. I tend to not really notice anything or understand jokes either it really sucks. Then sometimes I'm just really slow to understand what someone is talking about. I have this same problem. When I initially meet someone, i'm full of questions and chit-chat. However after a few meetings, I find myself shying away from them because I feel like I don't know what else to talk about. I feel that perhaps I've used everthing up in the first meeting. I've noticed that people find me particularly interesting when they first meet me, and look forward to meeting me again. However, when they do, i'm not the same as i was when we first met because I sort of feel that i've already talked about everything there is to talk about. This makes me believe that maybe I could just slow it down and give little over time.

And when having conversations with people, I try to pay attention, but I find myself zoning out and spending time in my head. And i'm completely entertained in my head though, not bored at all. But i'm starting to realize that, even though i'm completely entertained in my head and having fun, no one else is in my head and to them i look like a mentally disabled individual while i'm there with my head slightly tilted, glazed look in my eyes, and silly smile on my face..:rolleyes:

I've always had a problem with zoning out during conversations. For me, it mostly just makes people angry at me because I miss important things that they tell me or they (wrongly) think I'm not interested in them or their ideas.

I've found that it helps me to seek friendships in activities that I find very interesting. To some extent, that's true of everyone but I suspect that it's even more important for us. If I'm doing something that is utterly fascinating to me it's much easier for me to pay attention to conversation. When I find just the right hobby/interest, I can suddenly become very outgoing and social.