I don't know if it's that ADHD perfectionist trait creeping out, but I sometimes wonder if I'll ever manage my ADHD. Seriously, how many times do I have to cry, how many times to I have to be scared I'll lose my job before I actually start applying all those tips and tricks to manage my ADHD?

And then I wonder, why do I need to have so much help just to keep track of my day? I'm not just talking medication here. Because along with my medication I need coloured markers, a to do list, timers that set off and help me to manage my sense of time.... :cool:

All of this just to make sure I don't go into hyperfocus and loose my track of time!

Now if I had a little routine that I could get into, well that would be something. But just even getting into that habit seems like such a huge effort.

*sigh* I guess it's just the 'joy' of living with ADHD I guess.

I think many of us, if not all of us, will relate to your struggles Michiko. That one question you have "why do I need to have so much help..." is one I ask of myself so many times and whenever it comes aboard my ship and tells me to give up I have to regain all of my strength and effort to push it aside and continue forth. Crying and fear is a stimulus mechanism that many of us use to push ourselves forward, but over time it can lead to low self esteem and depression, as it did with me. Are you in therapy? I know I mention this over and over again, but for the symptoms you are describing I really needed therapy to deal with them successfully.

If nothing else, please know that I have been there and done that and I still have those days from time to time. Therapy has been a salvation for me and visiting this forum and relating to others has helped me a lot too.

Blessings to you and yours,

Bryan

I can also relate. I have lost many a job because I could not force myself to create and maintain all of those lists and reminders and ticklers and so on. And I would, and still do, get soooo frustrated at how much effort it requires just to maintain the status quo. And I would get angry that it takes me 15 different steps and processes to complete "simple" tasks...the same tasks that someone else in the office could do almost without thinking about it. I'm currently unemployed and have even more time on my hands to wonder about all these things. I second Bryan's therapy suggestion, but for me, without the right insurance, it's hard to afford the therapy that will help me manage myself and give me a better chance of keeping my job. And then without a job and without insurance I REALLY can't afford the therapy.

"I don't need to walk around in circles, walk around in circles, walk around in circles, walk around in..."

I just got home from an impatient rehab/treatment center. I went there for anxiety and depression and left with a diagnosis of ADHD. There's a lot of things I could say here but you probably know everything I'm struggling with. I felt as if I was improving (and accepting) when I was still at the treatment center. I was becoming organized, had daily habits/routines, etc. I felt like I was finally on shore after treading water for years. Now, I haven't even been home for twenty-four hours and I feel like a big fat tsunami just knocked the living day-lights out of me! Frankly, I feel like I'd rather be treading water! At least I was familiar with how to survive that... Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

I don't know if it's that ADHD perfectionist trait creeping out, but I sometimes wonder if I'll ever manage my ADHD. Seriously, how many times do I have to cry, how many times to I have to be scared I'll lose my job before I actually start applying all those tips and tricks to manage my ADHD?

And then I wonder, why do I need to have so much help just to keep track of my day? I'm not just talking medication here. Because along with my medication I need coloured markers, a to do list, timers that set off and help me to manage my sense of time.... :cool:

All of this just to make sure I don't go into hyperfocus and loose my track of time!

Now if I had a little routine that I could get into, well that would be something. But just even getting into that habit seems like such a huge effort.

*sigh* I guess it's just the 'joy' of living with ADHD I guess.


I'm with you on that one. I feel the same way, and often wonder if i'll ever be able to live a normal life, and not depend on meds or use my add as an excuse to everything in life like mediocre grades, terrible performace at work, always late, can't finish anything i start, and i have my life a total mess.
The more I wonder if i'll ever stop giving excuses and living a normal life, the more I feel like giving up all hope......but then I remember these forums, and all the people like me that are still clinging on to that last thread and it makes me that much more hopefull to know if they can do it, then I sure as hell must. :) ..... or at least we are all on the same boat and its not so bad to be in it alone. :)

Me too. I've had a very frustrating last couple weeks. I hear you! Will it never, ever end? I guess not.

This morning my hubby asked me if ADD was a learned behavior. I was diagnosed about 9 months ago and have sent him countless articles, talked to him endlessly about it, etc. WTF?

It has been nice to have friends here who are in the same boat.

This morning my hubby asked me if ADD was a learned behavior..

Oh man, that's got to be one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time!
I honestly don't know who would want to learn these behaviours that cause so much chaos in someone's life.

Trust me, if I could learn not to be so disorganized I would be!

i'm on the bubble of losing my career job b/c i keep messing up, not the job itself but the paperwork. I don't know what i'll do if i lose it. I wonder if i'll ever keep it together enuf to hold down a job for a long enough period of time that i can feel like i acomplish something. I'm 24 and still rely on family to help me with everyday things that people younger then me do no problem (i.e money mangment, etc) Some days are worse then others but i wonder if i'll ever live on my own and be independent

I hear ya. Whenever i think i have everything under control life still somehow manages to crash and burn. It's very hard to keep chuggin along instead of giving up. But then i come home crying to this forum and realize i'm not alone. This ADHD thing SUCKS sometimes! But i refuse to let it get the best of me.
COURAGE!

i agree with ya hootie..
I get that same thing, everything seems to be going great and then it goes to the craps.
just keep hoping. Things will get better ay. :)

What was the question? :confused::(;)