I finally got up the courage to go to a psychologist to get diagnosed. He said that based on my interview and test scores that I have a high probability he will diagnose me with ADD, but he will still need to review the forms he asked me to take to my boss and family. Am so excited that I am finally getting this done--even after talking to him I was able to motivate myself to do other things around the house/etc. Even my boss says my mood has improved at work. His exact words were "Now I haven't seen this Dan in a while."

My psychologist is anti-medication, but I told him I want to go to the doctor and get something prescribed to help me get my life in order, and also work on long term counseling. It feels wierd, like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I am so happy for you. I am going today to my primary and I have an EAP referral for a counselor. Goodluck to you!<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

Congrats on the step! :)

My psychologist is anti-medication
I find myself more and more amazed by all these healthcare professionals that seem to let their private beliefs, fancies and dislikes take precedence over what (I think) should be a scientific and evidence-based discipline ..

- yes Ma'm I'm a car mechanic, and so is Brother Merlin over there - but we don't believe in wrenches. Does more damage then good, your average wrench. We'll incantate your car just fine, no worries.
- oh no, logic-based math is soo 20th century! We don't believe in that rigid technocrat hogwash. We're into funny numbers here at the New Order Statistics Institute.
- I understand you're really worried. I suggest you take my advice. Don't believe in what doctors say. Just eat grass every day as I told you, and play the piano. And you'll be just fine.One of these things is actually true (http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=nl&u=http://www.skepsis.nl/honkiponk.html&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=1&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3D%2522Jan%2BPieter%2Bde%2BKok%2522%26h l%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26hs%3D3hM).

mmmmmmmm grass.... it's so chewy ....

Thanks sapphireblue!

The results are in:

My diagnosis for Daniel Smith is: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, predominantly Inattentive type.



The Dr. also recommended me for medication since I need immediate impact in performance(job struggles). Am going to the MD on Tuesday.

I also got my diagnosis of ADD, Inattentive. I was put on Strattera. I'm only on day 3 and it takes a while to work. The first day I had trouble sleeping, but other than that, nothing too terrible.

The only result I have seen so far is not wanting to binge. Hooray. That's a first step.

Good for you Absolutroot. Feels nice to have some understanding as to what is "wrong" with you doesn't it? I know I felt better. Now that I am on meds, I have virtually no anxiety anymore. Can get to work and get stuff done. Don't always want to leave early (Self-Employed) either. Really is nice, although I have a long way to go and am not sure my meds are right, it's a start. Congrats to you and report back and let us know what meds you are trying and such.

Hi All, i spoke to a pdoc today in my area who specialises in add. She is willing to see me, and sounded so supportive, what a total relief. I can't wait to get on with the rest of my life. She was also supportive of medication. Seems too good to be true, i thought it would be way harder from what i have been reading, interviews with family( not an option for me) and years of therapy. I am stunned ,really very emotional.I guess thats to be expected after 42 years of struggling on my own.

warm wishes to all,
Cathy from australia

I'm not sure why this is all hitting me so hard . Have a very nasty
dose of depression on top of everything else. The pdoc app cant come soon enough really.
I think dealing with other people's opinons is really tough with this condition.
You know you are not presenting your best to the world, and are endlessly justifying your existence,
or defending your actions.It's insidious to not be understood by anyone, even those closest to
you that have witnessed great but fleeting achievements soon forget
when you go back to struggling. It seems i have to be under enormous pressure
in order to be productive.I have just finished a major project, cashed up and now
i have no motivation to even get up. Typical of my life. At school i would always hand
everything in the night before it was due waited till the build up of stress. No wonder i feel
so down, i am greiving for a life missed out on. I really wanted to do vet science, and could have with
the right help and early diagnosis. But i had no chance really, my parents would be so ****ed if
they knew all this.All that money spent on private school fees. Not going to tell them no point really. Mum had learning issues, my grandmother
was clearly ADD, stuff everywhere, her habit of burning the bottom out of pots was a daily occurance.

I guess i need some time to grieve and process what i have just become to know is the truth
about my life.


thanks for listening,

Cathy

I guess i need some time to grieve and process what i have just become to know is the truth about my life.Yes, you do. I was diagnosed twelve years ago and remember when the first Ritalin pill kicked in and how the cloud lifted and the voice in my head stopped. I was home alone and just sat and had a good cry.

Yeah i really just wish i could fast track this period and get on with the rest of my life. I am also worried about telling friends without being stigmatized.
This condition is lonely enough as it is without losing more friends.

might go to the gym and work out some of these emotions,
Rabbit

Yeah i really just wish i could fast track this period and get on with the rest of my life. I am also worried about telling friends without being stigmatized.
This condition is lonely enough as it is without losing more friends.

might go to the gym and work out some of these emotions,
RabbitWhat's that saying? Something about you can do hard time or you can do easy time? You've managed to find a whole bunch of people here who know things about you just because they have ADHD/ADD too and even the best NT friend never truly gets it.

I think dealing with other people's opinons is really tough with this condition.
You know you are not presenting your best to the world, and are endlessly justifying your existence,
or defending your actions.It's insidious to not be understood by anyone, even those closest to
you I understand I understand I understand....
and feel exactly the same way

been diagnosed now for a couple months
meds aren't working right
can't decide if this is worse
feels like my life is crashing down around me
much much pressure from all sides
big issues for a "normal" but for me ... ugh
panic attack yesterdaywhen something didn't work out right
called my doc crying, he talked me down
Today?
my basement floods. it never has before, stuff everywhere
everywhere! because I haven't felt like dealing with that
enough to deal with upstairs!
meanwhile, people who are even TRYING to be helpful
really still don't get it
and act annoyed that I need help

I could go on.
my self esteem my whole life
trying to find ways to just feel OK
substances, behaviors, even just thoughts and beliefs
gotta go for now

coming here helps.

Oh the joys of spring floods. I can't imagine having to deal with a flooded basement. Is moving an option?

breathing a bit easier today, just went and stayed with some friends and took a break from thinking. Didnt tell anyone about my upcoming assessment, cant see any point really. But i am feeling less panic and suicudal, all those thoughts of how much i could have done if i had only been diagnosed early. VERY hard to process really. Today i am trying to focuss on what i have achieved DISPITE my stuggles.I do really like that my brain is different from most, like that i can go to bed with a problem and wake up with an answer. Although my self esteem in the world is appallingly bad, i know that within my world i can always come through. I'm now beginning to understand a little of our intuitive powers that allows that process to occur.i think the human brain is an extraordinary organ that has the ability to adapt and find different ways of solving problems. I know my sub conscious is alot of the time acting for my conscious.It seems to be awake during the day, like if i have lost something (several times a day), and i have no idea consciously where it is, i will still go to that spot even though i have no conscious memory leaving it there. Then there's hearing the phone ring before it rings, can't explain that one, but it happens alot. I guess now i know what i am dealing with i can start to accept myself and maybe help others to understand also. But from where i am standing it seems making real and lasting connections with non ADDers is not easy. I have so many questions, and i am so grateful for all your posts.This site is giving answers to questions i have had for 42 years there is no words for how that feels.

peace to all,

Rabbit

after having severe side effects with 40mg of Strattera, I went again to see my doctor today. To my relief, my doctor was not there, and I got a colleague(the same Dr. my mom goes to). My original Dr. who prescribed me Strattera did not seem to know much about adhd and was very nervous about prescribing anything. When I saw my new Dr. today, she was very confident in her knowledge of the drug, took me off Strattera immediately(and told me she never prescribes it because it makes you "as sick as a dog") and then prescribed me Ritalin SR 20mg. I definately like this new doctor. Not only is she intelligent(and pretty), but she knows alot about the ADHD drugs. I took my first Ritalin today, and for the first time ever since I started working at my new job, I was able to type and talk to the customer at the same time. I have never been able to do this without loosing the conversation. Also I am feeling an extreme sense of well being, but no high or buzz, or any negative side effects(loss of appetite and sweating, but hey, I am overweight anyway). Haven't experience a rebound yet, but right now things are definately looking up.

Excellent news, my p-doc called today and she can see me on friday for assessment, i'm very excited to be finally on the road to somewhere other than where i have been these last 42 years. I'm trying very hard to sort out my house so i can work on my next project, so far only managed to do one room. The inability to focus and get things done is beyond a joke. No wonder i frustrate people and am pretty well unemployable. But i must admit since coming here, and facing the truth about my brain the world looks and feels different. I have been reading this article over and over ..
http://www.addresources.org/article_50_adhd_tips_adult_hallowell_ratey.php

It has given me the strength and insight to start re buildingn my fractured spirit. If only i had have read this 10 years ago it would have saved me so much heartache. Here are some quotes i thought to be particularly appropriate.

"Give yourself permission to be yourself. Give up trying to be the person you always thought you should be.."

"It is caused by biology, by how your brain is wired. It is NOT a disease of the will, nor a moral failing. It is NOT caused by a weakness in character, nor by a failure to mature. It's cure is not to be found in the power of the will, nor in punishment, nor in sacrifice, nor in pain. ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS. Try as they might, many people with ADHD have great trouble accepting the syndrome as being rooted in biology rather than weakness of character."

"Know that it is O.K. to do two things at once: carry on a conversation and knit, or take a shower and do your best thinking, or jog and plan a business meeting. Often people with ADHD need to be doing several things at once in order to get anything done at all."

"Expect depression after success. People with ADHD commonly complain of feeling depressed, paradoxically, after a big success. This is because the high stimulus of the chase or the challenge or the preparation is over. The deed is done. Win or lose, the adult with ADHD misses the conflict, the high stimulus, and feels depressed."

This last one is EXACTLY what i have been going through recently after coming of a major renovation project. At least now i can understand why and use the down time
a little more efficiently without berating myself.

peace to all, Cathy

Congrats absolutroot!

I had a crappy psychiatrist who tried to give me Strattera. I was on 10 mg. for 1 month-- it made me evil and have "witch attacks" over things as innocuous as my fiance asking me what the weather forecast was. After a month, my former dr. upped me to 20mg. and I took it for 2 days. Not only was I sick as a dog-- hot flashes, vomiting, extreme lethargy, I felt as if I were posessed my demons. Had I taken it for 1 more day, I would have ended up in jail or the mental hospital. I am the least violent person, ever, but I can honestly say that I would have killed someone. Scary.

I'm glad the ritalin is working! I haven't tried it- I take adderall for my ADHD along with a cocktail of meds for my bipolar.

As for your psychologist's anti-med attitude-- I am a firm believer that the decision whether or not to take psychotropic meds is a very personal and individual decision. Others, even mental health professionals, have no right to tell someone that they don't "believe in them." Maybe she and Tom Cruise should hang out.

I didn't believe in meds for years (not with regards to anyone else, but for myself). I love my therapist whom I've been seeing for 8 years. While I feel lucky to have someone to talk to (or maybe I should say ramble), it's not a cure-all (at least not for me). Therapy helps, but it can't erase the neurobiological processes occuring in my brain. It didn't "cure" me or make me any more functional-- I never felt the urge to stop procrastinating or sit still or throw out the mountain of year-old unopened mail on the table in my foyer. Now that I'm treating my ADHD and bipolar, my life is definitely better. I experience less anxiety and am marginally more organized, I have days in which I can actually have a semi-logical conversation.

Good Luck and keep us posted on how you're doing!

"Know that it is O.K. to do two things at once: carry on a conversation and knit, or take a shower and do your best thinking, or jog and plan a business meeting. Often people with ADHD need to be doing several things at once in order to get anything done at all."I solve problems in the shower. Unfortunately, impulsively starting a sentence with "When I was in the shower this morning . . ." I work with people who giggle a lot. :confused:

There's that knitting thing again. ;)

LOL, i just planned my next project in the shower, i wonder if its the warm water increasing blood flow to your brain? What ever it is it works a treat!

peace to all, Cathy