This should be a joke thread, right?

Seriously.

Will only go for a few days, not the full 8, and I'll hike, snowshoe, and I've booked a swim training session in the valley. I've decided to not actually ski. Right now, I'm feeling a bit 'off,' which can mean accident-proneness.

Going with strangers is a much lower risk than it would be to go with any of the groups where I've known people. My skills at getting time on my own are ok, and I've gotten to pretty much not bothering to hide taking meds every 90 minutes.

Still, it feels like a big step. Most of my self-care stuff makes me the odd gal out. Like I need a certain breakfast (thought that started at age 85 or so), which I'll bring half-made, but it's going to require explaining and protecting from foragers.

It's also an exercise in conformity, and means less explaining when people at work etc. ask why I go away so little. This trip is inexpensive, but to a posh-sounding area, which signals "belonging" for certain people I'm not so sure I care to have "approve" of me. Yep, I've been working on these issues for years and I'm still not clear on the games or the rules or the winnings.

Apparently I'm the youngest of the "singles," yet am coming out of a 10-year relationship and they're never-marrieds. Won't mention the relationship or my ongoing divorce, b/c it seems to depress people and I don't want to deal with that. This means coming up with some b-s about why I'm even in the country where I live. Am hoping that arriving a few days later than the others will mean they're all paired off.

My biggest social fear is the automatic use of the informal 'you,' which triggers people here to pretty much crawl up your shirt and blow their nose on your chest hair if you're a man or a woman on testosterone who hasn't waxed. This is only relevant in that ADHD stuff already sets me apart. Saying I prefer to use the formal version of 'you' (which helps locals retain the reserve Americans generally exhibit when we're on first-name basis) ... well, there's almost no way to say that without coming across as the biggest witch with a b.

Oh, and even with the formal 'you,' people tend to ask questions that drive me nuts, feel very personal. In the U.S. one might ask someone who's building a house how many square feet it is; here, they'll ask you straight out what you pay in rent. When people hear that I neither have nor want kids, they start in on fertility issues - and that's people with doctorates and "manners," who seem authentically friendly. Does anyone know of a diplomacy crash-course? Or have suggestions on answers?

By some freak and no effort nor intention of my own, I've attained high fluency in the language, and otherwise look and act like I fit in, so I'm never granted the foreigner pass for "off" reactions to questions like these. There are a LOT of people who feel very sorry for my "untreatable fertility issues," based on my lack of aplomb in reacting to their "friendly conversation."

Well, gotta put some lipstick on and otherwise freshen up, then head out to pick up my meds before the pharmacy closes.

M.

P.S. yes I really do want to go on this trip, somehow I find I grow in some areas best by stretching myself.

In Europe people are more inquisitive, it seems, because there are so many cultures, languages and traditions. It is really hard to share a common basis with another person there without asking questions that may disclose what that "common basis" might be. Also, people there tend to be more curious because there are so many choices, faces and places! It's really an ADHD dream vacation for many. :p

Enjoy the slopes, the apres ski (bier?) and get there early (not late - is that possible for us?)! :cool:

P.S. Do you have an extra lift and airline ticket for me? ;)

I really enjoyed reading your post. If you dont already, you definitly have a knack for writing.

Speaking very generally here, not meaning to offend anyone...

On Europeans getting into your personal business... these sort of cultural differences fascinate me. I was born in Scandinavia, grew up in Canada, lived in Japan for almost 6 years, and India for a year. I do a fair amount of travel for business and personal reasons.
Just this week I was musing over what happened with some business counterparts that were here for a meeting, from France. I showed them my new iPhone and they immediately began dissecting it, looking through my photos and music, etc... asking me all kinds of question about my relationships with the people in the photos. It was amusing because this would never happen with a Scandinavian or a Japanese. An American would take a passing interest but probably never look into the photos on your phone, or question you in detail about them. The line between what is personal and public is different depending on cultural background. While central and southern Europeans might appear to get to familiar with you, to fast, I have found that they don't jump to conclusions or judgments about you the way, say, and American would. I have found that they in fact enjoy quirkiness in people, and find such facts to be an interesting part of a personal character. Indians are similar. Americans like familiarity, and look for what they have in common with another person, and if they discover something "different", it makes them uncomfortable. The Japanese are extremely open minded, and also like individual quirkiness, but they won't push themselves into your business.