Doodler
03-14-08, 08:23 PM
I am think I have some form of ADD. I've had problems through out my teen years. I always knew I needed help but it was such a common thing to hear other people say that ADD didn't exist and it was just because someone was lazy that they had it.. or that everyone had it and you just had to deal.
Anyway, years have passed and I am now a mother. I am determined to get real help. Help that I should have gotten years ago. I don't want to even tell my husband or parents that I am seeking help for fear that I am going to get the same response that I did as a child. "It doesn't exist, you are just a freak".
I can't finish a book, I can't watch a movie (and fully understand it anyway, for me-- watching a movie is just like watching moving pictures with my own dialogue in my head.) I have no hobbies because I get bored of whatever it is after 2 weeks. I've tried knitting, sewing, art, gardening, guitar, singing, starting a business, riding horses--- I've tried many different things in my life. I get OBSESSED with one thing. It's all I can think about for days, weeks.. and then one day I toss it like a bad habit. I don't even care about it anymore. I've wasted so much money on lost hobbies.
I dropped out of high school at 15 because I was such a bad test taker. I could manage to answer 1 question out of 50. I can't comprehend what I read. My parents spent thousands on private tutoring e
veryday after school. I was happier when I left highschool for a job.
Thinking back to my last job I had no idea how I never got fired. It was data entry. While my co-workers would deal with 300 applications a day, I'd have a measly stack of 50. Half way through an application I'd start picking at my nails.. or doodling..
Which brings me to why I am writing this novel...
Is doodling any indication of ADD? I've done this for a long time. I have stacks and STACKS of paper with nothing but doodles. I'll be listening to someone talk and then I focus on one thing they said. If they said the word 'dog'.. I'll zone out, quit listening and doodle the word dog until the whole piece of paper is covered in the word dog.
Has anyone ever heard of that? My ex boyfriend of 5 years thought I had issues. He discovered hundreds of pieces of paper with one word written over and over. He thought I had a serious problem and it freaked him out.
My husband recently discovered the same thing in my desk drawers/
Just looking at my desk now I have a piece of paper with these words written hundreds of times "3 nights" "sunday". I also write my name constantly.
Looking back, I remember I use to do this on my homework as well.
I am just curious if anyone can relate and if it might point me into the write direction of what exactly my "problem" is?
Does it sound at all like ADD or should I keep searching for answers?
*out of breath*
Thank you in advance for any insight you might be able to give..
Anyway, years have passed and I am now a mother. I am determined to get real help. Help that I should have gotten years ago. I don't want to even tell my husband or parents that I am seeking help for fear that I am going to get the same response that I did as a child. "It doesn't exist, you are just a freak".
I can't finish a book, I can't watch a movie (and fully understand it anyway, for me-- watching a movie is just like watching moving pictures with my own dialogue in my head.) I have no hobbies because I get bored of whatever it is after 2 weeks. I've tried knitting, sewing, art, gardening, guitar, singing, starting a business, riding horses--- I've tried many different things in my life. I get OBSESSED with one thing. It's all I can think about for days, weeks.. and then one day I toss it like a bad habit. I don't even care about it anymore. I've wasted so much money on lost hobbies.
I dropped out of high school at 15 because I was such a bad test taker. I could manage to answer 1 question out of 50. I can't comprehend what I read. My parents spent thousands on private tutoring e
veryday after school. I was happier when I left highschool for a job.
Thinking back to my last job I had no idea how I never got fired. It was data entry. While my co-workers would deal with 300 applications a day, I'd have a measly stack of 50. Half way through an application I'd start picking at my nails.. or doodling..
Which brings me to why I am writing this novel...
Is doodling any indication of ADD? I've done this for a long time. I have stacks and STACKS of paper with nothing but doodles. I'll be listening to someone talk and then I focus on one thing they said. If they said the word 'dog'.. I'll zone out, quit listening and doodle the word dog until the whole piece of paper is covered in the word dog.
Has anyone ever heard of that? My ex boyfriend of 5 years thought I had issues. He discovered hundreds of pieces of paper with one word written over and over. He thought I had a serious problem and it freaked him out.
My husband recently discovered the same thing in my desk drawers/
Just looking at my desk now I have a piece of paper with these words written hundreds of times "3 nights" "sunday". I also write my name constantly.
Looking back, I remember I use to do this on my homework as well.
I am just curious if anyone can relate and if it might point me into the write direction of what exactly my "problem" is?
Does it sound at all like ADD or should I keep searching for answers?
*out of breath*
Thank you in advance for any insight you might be able to give..