never accomplishing anything
horrible self-esteem,
people at my work dont understand me
im realizing most of my "friends" think im an idiot
Im always mis-understood.
Im a good-looking guy who cant get a girlfriend because i to shy and dont know what to say.
I pretty sure i have social anxiety
i keep becoming depressed
cant stand up for myself
not to mention the thousand other ADD symptoms tied into me.

As the days progress, i find it less and less appealing to keep living this way. I cant afford a doctor, i dont have medical insurance. The list goes on.

seriously,
why me?

im just sick of this.
and i hate feeling this way.
:(

I know it's hard to believe, but what you're going through is not a reflection of your true self. Hang on to that piece of knowledge, even in your darkest moments. ADHD is a horrible thing to go through when it's in the driver's seat, not you. And clearly, the effects are wearing you down.

Despite all the odds that you're facing right now, you know that life doesn't have to be this way. If you managed to find this forum, than you've got the smarts to find the help you need. Also by posting, there will be others who may be able to lead you to the right direction.

I seem to recall that folks with ADHD have an incredible drive, and they're able to just keep going on and on. Take some of that ADHD energy you have, and put it to good use.

Good luck.

thanks for the response, sometimes i just feel so....helpless.

ive been a long time reader of this forum. this is just my first post.

i have ADD i used to have ADHD when i was younger. i still understand what you mean

im also considering treatment via neurofeedback, but its expensive. Im still doing my research.

Find joy in something... those are all very negative thoughts, if I allow the negative thoughts to reside in my head, I will feel like that too. Take joy in something... forget about the future and enjoy the moment.

never accomplishing anything

I'm not really so sure that anybody accomplishes anything -
I'm trying to work that question out right now -
but can't find anything worth accomplishing.

The good news though is -
- is that happiness doesn't require accomplishment -
it's (and this is going to sound a bit silly) -

it's reaching a state of mind - where one is happy
because
one has reached a 'place' in which one can be happy without accomplishment.

I'll write some more if you like -

'letting it all go' (as an idea - also
works)

the problems though are that one needs to lose the worries about the future (not having enough money for food)
and the worries about the present
(am I worthwhile?)

:-) you are

everyone is

everything we know is

so the question becomes

'how come I feel this way then ?'

for the answer to that question -
we need to go back several hundreds of million years -

to the first organism with a nervous system

:-)

she (the worm) was called Bertram

-ps-

sorry !

that last line wasn't :-) entirely true (was a lie actually)

(was *actually* called Bertina).

thanks for the response, sometimes i just feel so....helpless.

Which is all the more reason to get help. Who knows the vast amount of potential just bubbling at the surface of your brain? :p I don't and neither do you, but you have to find out! :)

It's more than just 'accomplishing' things. When your mind is focused, you're able to enjoy so many things. Maybe engage in hobbies that just aren't enjoyable with a focused mind.

The barriers you have in front of you are challenging, to say the least. But the joy of actually managing your ADHD is such an incredible feeling. That's not to say that once you find treatment the pain will be over. Far from it. But at least you've got something to work with.

Sad part is its a relief in a way to know someone else is in the same boat as me. Sounds exactly like me.

never accomplishing anything
horrible self-esteem,
people at my work dont understand me
im realizing most of my "friends" think im an idiot
Im always mis-understood.
Im a good-looking guy who cant get a girlfriend because i to shy and dont know what to say.
I pretty sure i have social anxiety
i keep becoming depressed
cant stand up for myself
not to mention the thousand other ADD symptoms tied into me.

As the days progress, i find it less and less appealing to keep living this way. I cant afford a doctor, i dont have medical insurance. The list goes on.

seriously,
why me?

im just sick of this.
and i hate feeling this way.
:(

It is social anxiety either due to part of being add and part of society not understanding it if not just direct trait. I have it to. It is also dibillitating just as any other condition labeled a mental illness.

Thing is ADD is not a mental illness - but until research can pin it down - it should always be honored under the ADA.

In short: no.

It sounds like you have general depression and anxiety issues to go along with your ADHD (not uncommon).

I know you do not have insurance and cannot afford a doctor, but I'd look to see what free treatment options are available in your area. Surely there is a counselling service you can access? Or perhaps receive help from the government? Disability support etc?

(Disclaimer: I'm not an American, so I don't know how the health system works).

thanks for the replies.

the government offers free insurance(medi-care), but since i live at home and over 18, i dont qualify for it. For me to receive disability id have to quit my job.

My insurance at my new job doesnt start till the middle of May.
thats if i dont manage to screw it up like i usually do. Or get so depressed i quit.

As ive been getting older, i notice my ADD symptoms more and more. Which throws me into depression. I have my hobbies, im a gearhead, and i want to learn fabrication. However, it all takes money. Not to mention a place where i can practice. My parents would probably frown at the thought of me welding in the garage.

Ive been looking around for ADD therapists in my area. im thinking of seeing one this week on my next day off. Maybe theyll cut me a break or something.

Another option to consider is finding a buddy or a mentor from this site: someone in your area you can talk to and relate to. This way you don't feel alone in what you're going through.

thats a good idea.

anyone live in Southern California near Palm Springs?

Hey Tiger how old are you?

I have a feeling you are around my age... I'm 19. I'm in college and I have a job, I can relate believe me.

Maybe you can keep hoping for the future. That's what gets me by... hoping for my medication to work eventually and just living day by day. May isn't too far... it's only a month away! Ya know, I used to have to wait a month for my appointments with my old psychiatrist, and I had severe depression. It nearly killed me sometimes. BUT I did get cured.
Believe me, waiting for your insurance is worth the wait, so keep your chin up. Just keep thinking everyday... only X amount of days till i get my insurance. It'll be an instant mood lift.

In the mean time...... try working out everyday. It produces endorphins and it helps your attention. And hey you'll feel good about yourself just being more responsible and living up to another routine, that's a way to improve your a.d.d already :D

Also some cheapy vitamins that may or may not improve your attention :b12 vitamins, fish oil, and gingko biloba(for memory), and just a multivitamin as well.

Avoid caffeine and too many carbs. Protein is a plus, especially in the morning.

Also try melatonin if you tend to go to sleep really late, because going to sleep late isn't good for you and it can affect your attention in the morning.

Along with kwalk said: St John's Wart can help with depression & anxiety too.

Hi, im just wondering with yourself having a job, and saying that you cant afford private health care, makes me wonder how how expensive is it in america? Dont get me wrong, i am not posting this in a negative way, just a concerning one.. i have recently watched a dvd called John Q starring Denzel washington to which has me amazed, to why this iis allowed to happen. Im from Australia and have medicare also, but both under18 yo and older are permitted to value from this system.. just seems wrong. :(

... I cant afford a doctor, i dont have medical insurance. The list goes on.

seriously,
why me?

im just sick of this.
and i hate feeling this way.
:(

You just look like myself 30 years ago....

I m not an american . In my country there is almost no one who care about ADD in adults today and nobody know that it exists during my teenage years.

today i have a good job , a family and a house. Sometime i struggle with the family budget and many times i m tired to must be strict about organisation but basicaly suffering add don't stop me to go out of misery and building my life .

Why and how ?

Just because at 15 i decided what i want for job and at 20 i decided what i want for life : a stable family .

Every year between 15 and 25 i bump into people who deprecate me, don't understand my difficulties and just simply can't stand me because i just want building myself a better futur and don't statisfy with just what i have at the time.
I don't stop to listen. I go on following my feelings .

I has been a lot of work. It's steel many times.

Just remenber that you can succeed with ADD . Without med or coach or loving people it's just harder not impossible.

good luck.

Its all good mate. If you dont exercise, crank that up (start)...the extra Serotonin coupled with massive calf muscles will improve your mood in no time :))

with the social issues


u have to remember. you are you. be yourself. no one is better than you. if people dont liek the real you then they are not worth your time.

just go out with the mentality "i'm out with mates to have a good time... thats all"

if u start thinking "i wanna go out to meet girls" u'll build it up too much in ur mind and u'll get too nervous.

just go out and have fun. when people see you laughing and having a good time, they'll wanna talk to you because you will seem like a cool guy who is confident in himself.

standing back and worrying about not knowing wat to say at the right time unfortunately comes across to people as you being antisociable and rude. the other person has no idea whats going on in ur head. all they have to judge you on is your body language. your friends will know you're a great guy because they know you already, but other people wont have a clue.


so smile.

"You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."
- Jonathan Davis

thanks everyone for the replies. Its good to know there are people that feel the same way i do.

Hi, im just wondering with yourself having a job, and saying that you cant afford private health care, makes me wonder how how expensive is it in america? Dont get me wrong, i am not posting this in a negative way, just a concerning one.. i have recently watched a dvd called John Q starring Denzel washington to which has me amazed, to why this iis allowed to happen. Im from Australia and have medicare also, but both under18 yo and older are permitted to value from this system.. just seems wrong. :(

One doctor vist is like $75 - $100 and i just dont have that money. I was starting to take Strattera for about 3 weeks, but then my insurance expired and i couldnt afford the medication without it. So i never saw the benefits of that medication. I did notice one thing, if i took it everyday for like a week straight, then didnt take it one night id have very weird dreams that night.




Hey Tiger how old are you?

I have a feeling you are around my age... I'm 19. I'm in college and I have a job, I can relate believe me.

Maybe you can keep hoping for the future. That's what gets me by... hoping for my medication to work eventually and just living day by day. May isn't too far... it's only a month away! Ya know, I used to have to wait a month for my appointments with my old psychiatrist, and I had severe depression. It nearly killed me sometimes. BUT I did get cured.
Believe me, waiting for your insurance is worth the wait, so keep your chin up. Just keep thinking everyday... only X amount of days till i get my insurance. It'll be an instant mood lift.

In the mean time...... try working out everyday. It produces endorphins and it helps your attention. And hey you'll feel good about yourself just being more responsible and living up to another routine, that's a way to improve your a.d.d already :D

Also some cheapy vitamins that may or may not improve your attention :b12 vitamins, fish oil, and gingko biloba(for memory), and just a multivitamin as well.

Avoid caffeine and too many carbs. Protein is a plus, especially in the morning.

Also try melatonin if you tend to go to sleep really late, because going to sleep late isn't good for you and it can affect your attention in the morning.



Im 21, i try to stay as healthy as possible, ive cut down my soda and caffeine intake and try and drink as much water as possible. Every day i always have a good sized breakfast and a good sized lunch. Nothin beats the employee cafeteria at my work.:)

As for exercising, i was lifting 3 times a week at the gym, but havent been in about 2 months. I started feeling good. I was taking lots of protein shakes, right after a workout, and right before bed. Ive been meaning to start going again. Today is my day off, maybe ill go today....

Today is my day off, maybe ill go today....

Procrastination is a ***** ;)

Procrastination is a ***** ;)


hahaha

the best thing about that is i never went:p

but when i get off work tomorrow!
i swear!

Walking's free where I live.

Get a bicycle, every ADHD should have one! It's the only human way to travel!

Like the positive direction you're taking with this thread TigerZ ... you know they say Laughter is the Best Medicine and it's free though hard to come by sometimes! :D

Hang in there. Stay +++ & see the +++ even if you're assailed with ---s! The +++s always make whatever you're going through better ... See the flick Life is Beautiful! :)

I like the Buddhist philosophy:

1. Suffering exists
2. Suffering arises from attachment to desires
3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases


I have little power to change reality but I can change how I view it.

Though I "live in the infinite future(fantasy)" rather than the "misery of the present"
(quote from Syd Barrett's roommate). So until I can live in the present(an like it) I'm really just an insane person.