View Full Version : patience, tolerance & control (or lack of)


SonWithAdhd
03-02-04, 10:32 AM
I feel like most times I'm limited on the amount of patience & tolerance I have. I like to be in control of the situation & to sit back & watch without jumping in is difficult oftentimes. In dealing with the daily frustrations of an ADHD son, my patience dwindles quick, especially if I'm grumpy to start with & the end result is I lose it & the battle of wills begins.

For everyone that goes through this regularly... what have you found that works? Whether dealing with my son on such battling matters or just for me personally, in dealing with frustration, lack of patience & tolerance & the feeling of losing control? How do you keep your cool?

MRB
03-09-04, 04:10 PM
I think first of all you may want to consider the fact that you are probably dealing with situations that are more extreme than the "average" stressful situation, and since American life has gotten pretty stressful in general, I'd say that's pretty extreme.

You may find some of the tips in Lynn Weiss' "View from the Cliff" helpful. Even though it's written for an adult audience that's "highly sensitive" (she tends to be reluctant to label with the formal diagnosis; she has an ADHD son and I think she thinks the label can be stigmatizing), she deals with things from a cognitive/behavioral standpoint, and as such you may find some tips as to how to think about things differently and so to handle them differently.

Finally, think about your own diet. From what I understand, stress depletes our bodies' (and brains') stores of essential fatty acids and vitamins B and C in particular. I have certainly found that by making sure I supplement with those, that I can deal with the madness swirling in my life better than I can without them.

Best of luck.

Andrew
03-09-04, 04:19 PM
How to be patient, tolerant and maintain self control. Sounds like a self-help course :)

One big problem that we ADDers face is poor impulse control. Saying something in the heat of the moment is a good example of that.

One trick I have started to use is to take a deep breath and HOLD IT for a few seconds, then slowly let it out. Its amazing how that simple act can break your momentum and give you precious time to think before you speak/jump/leap/etc.

Nucking_Futs
03-09-04, 07:05 PM
I have also found in extremely high stress situation's that I separate the children from myself. Telling them "I love you but we need to go to our room's until we settle down. Sometimes, you HAVE to walk away or you may end up saying something you will regret for a very, very long time.

MRB
03-20-04, 01:09 PM
BIG -

That's a great tip. I'm embarrassed that something so simple and potentially effective has escaped my attention (pun intended) for THIS MANY YEARS.

Thanks.

Ian
03-21-04, 03:19 AM
That's a keeper Big.. gracias!