Is it normal for us to want a real relationship at a young age?

I am only 17, and want a real relationship with someone so bad, but I seem like I am the only person who feels this way, all the girls from where I am from want a different guy each week. lol

It seems so impossible to find someone who understands me, they all just want to have fun.... but I want a serious relationship. :(

Is this ADD related?

No, not at all. I have a 15 year old NT son who is only interested in real relationships. He usually goes out with a girl for several months. (Going out is what it's called here when you're "officially" seeing only each other) He's a good, thoughtful boyfriend who seems to almost always remain on good terms with girls after they break up. Because they stay friends, he tends to get back together with previous girlfriends after being single for a period of time.

Do you have any girls who are just friends? Both my kids have close friends of the opposite sex. I think that helps them feel comfortable just hanging out without getting all nervous. If you have a female friend your age, ask her advice. Maybe you've only tried with girls who aren't right for you.

I know it doesn't help right now, but there IS a good match for you somewhere out there.

No, not at all. I have a 15 year old NT son who is only interested in real relationships. He usually goes out with a girl for several months. (Going out is what it's called here when you're "officially" seeing only each other) He's a good, thoughtful boyfriend who seems to almost always remain on good terms with girls after they break up. Because they stay friends, he tends to get back together with previous girlfriends after being single for a period of time.

Do you have any girls who are just friends? Both my kids have close friends of the opposite sex. I think that helps them feel comfortable just hanging out without getting all nervous. If you have a female friend your age, ask her advice. Maybe you've only tried with girls who aren't right for you.

I know it doesn't help right now, but there IS a good match for you somewhere out there.

lol yeah, and because of my ADD, I feel they will always just be good friends, because when they get annoyed with me, they can just not talk to me for a while, but it would be harder to do that in a relationship.

People are too afraid to get really involved with me, im not attractive or confident by any means. And thats the 2 mosy important things that girls look for in a man.

To be honest, I don't think any teen ager likes the way he looks or feels confident. You can't do much about the way you look, except to keep yourself up, wear decent clothes, etc. But you can work on your self confidence. This was a HUGE problem for me when I was in high school. When I went away to college, I got to start with a clean slate. There were a few people who knew me from high school, but I was a stranger to most. This gave me a chance to recreate myself the way I wanted to be. I forced myself to get involved in stuff in the dorm, talk to people in class, etc. When I realized they didn't think I was a total loser, I started to think maybe I was OK.

Are you seeing a therapist or do you have an older friend you can talk to? There are on-line courses to improve your self esteem. The best advice I ever got was in a seminar on how to manage difficult changes in the workplace, but it applies to every day life. The point was that even if you can't change the circumstances, you can change how you act. If you go into a situation down and gloomy or resistant, you won't be happy. If you go in with a positive approach, you're more likely to come out ok. The exact words of the trainer were: "Fake it until you can make it."

I've had to apply that advice several times, in both work situations and in my personal life. It may seem like you aren't being "yourself" at first, but it's almost like self-hypnosis. The next time you're around some interesting girls that you don't know, PRETEND you're relaxed. I promise, they're as obsesses with how they're coming across as you are.

Don't give up.

People are too afraid to get really involved with me, im not attractive or confident by any means. And thats the 2 mosy important things that girls look for in a man.:eek: noooo nooo that's not quite right:p
girls like lots of other things....being considerate it top of the list for a lot...
oh..and nice arms:D:D

Is it normal for us to want a real relationship at a young age?

I am only 17, and want a real relationship with someone so bad, but I seem like I am the only person who feels this way, all the girls from where I am from want a different guy each week. lol

It seems so impossible to find someone who understands me, they all just want to have fun.... but I want a serious relationship. :(

Is this ADD related?

No I don't think this is ADD related. Sort of sounds like being 17.

To have a meaningful relationship (which I think what you were trying to get at) means that you have to have two mature, grown adults. Now I'm not talking physical here. More mental.

To be the great boyfriend/husband/father that you will no doubt be, you need to take care of you first. Do you really know who you are yet? What your true talents and gifts are? Maybe. Even if you do know, now is the time to see what they become. What wonderful things you can do with them. When you bring your talents, interests, and accomplishments to a relationship it's a joy. Otherwise, you start to depend on your partner for things that are not their responsiblity.

Right now, you may feel like you're ready to be in a serious relationship but consider your ADD. I imagine, like a lot of us, you're still trying to manage it. You're never going to have it 'perfect.' No one can. But you owe it to yourself, not to mention your future partner, that you understand yourself and your needs so that you are not creating havoc in your relationship.

Your girlfriend is out there. But go find out about the world first, than you can be a world of support and caring for her.