Though my 50th birthday isn't until May, I consider the revelation I had two weeks ago - that I am ADD (inattentive), to be THE best birthday gift I have certainly ever,no, ever received. It was another 'stumble upon' moment - my attention was caught by Dr Eva Wood's book, Medicine,Mind,and Meaning at our local library. It got the wheels turning - she repeats over and over again that,if you've been given a mental health diagnosis and you feel stuck,despite treatment....you should revisit the diagnosis with your healthcare giver. It may be wrong or incomplete.I have a diagnosis of clinical depression and have been on desipramine and in psychotherapy for the past 11 years. Stuck Stuck Stuck...in the muck!

This diagnosis comes a mere :rolleyes: 32 yrs after life started to fall apart for me. Hadn't a clue....well,that's not quite true - I knew there was something wrong,but not one psychologist or psychiatrist or FP ever picked up on what it was...it's a shame really...I don't blame anyone,what's the point?,but I can't help wonder what I could have accomplished with my life if I'd only known sooner! Like everyone else,I had so many dreams...:)

It is a testament to the human spirit - mine,as well as millions of others', that we struggle and struggle and struggle and struggle to accomplish what we have accomplished in our lives - despite the significant challenges that have faced us.

I am now waiting,on tender hooks,for a consultation with an ADD specialist, for an official diagnosis. I have absolutely no doubts...the books I've read (Medicine,Mind and Meaning;Driven to Distraction; Healing ADD,and numerous evidence-based articles on the web)-could have be written about me. Kudos to my new psychiatrist who said "you may be on to something" (yes,she is worth her weight in gold!). As well, I will have our three children tested....I refuse to let them suffer as I have for nigh on 50 years -I shudder when I read that!

Questions for anyone who'd care to respond:

- did you or your children receive a false negative on testing, despite the positive symptoms in your life?? Dr Amen mentions that the stimulus of the testing situation itself (one on one,etc) may be just enough to camouflage one's ADD symptoms


- if you have been on stimulant medication (curiously,I'm already on one of the antidepressants which is highly recommended for ADD) - what can you tell me about your response to medication - slight improvement, moderate,significant,etc? (I know that medication alone is not the answer - but for me,at this stage,when I have spent years unconsciously devising ways and means to manage this condition - I am,quite frankly, exhausted,and am desperately hoping that medication will give me a much needed boost-so that I can reorganize,in a major way,my life.

Thanks :)

jen

Jen, welcome to the forum and maybe we should start the mid life diagnosis club. I was diagnosed at 51, so don't feel bad. Hang in there, life will get better.

Medications depending on whether they work for you can take a couple of weeks to six weeks to be effective. You may need to try several to get the desired effects. It all depends on your body chemistry.

Though my 50th birthday isn't until May, I consider the revelation I had two weeks ago - that I am ADD (inattentive), to be THE best birthday gift I have certainly ever,no, ever received. It was another 'stumble upon' moment - my attention was caught by Dr Eva Wood's book, Medicine,Mind,and Meaning at our local library. It got the wheels turning - she repeats over and over again that,if you've been given a mental health diagnosis and you feel stuck,despite treatment....you should revisit the diagnosis with your healthcare giver. It may be wrong or incomplete.I have a diagnosis of clinical depression and have been on desipramine and in psychotherapy for the past 11 years. Stuck Stuck Stuck...in the muck!

This diagnosis comes a mere :rolleyes: 32 yrs after life started to fall apart for me. Hadn't a clue....well,that's not quite true - I knew there was something wrong,but not one psychologist or psychiatrist or FP ever picked up on what it was...it's a shame really...I don't blame anyone,what's the point?,but I can't help wonder what I could have accomplished with my life if I'd only known sooner! Like everyone else,I had so many dreams...:)

It is a testament to the human spirit - mine,as well as millions of others', that we struggle and struggle and struggle and struggle to accomplish what we have accomplished in our lives - despite the significant challenges that have faced us.

I am now waiting,on tender hooks,for a consultation with an ADD specialist, for an official diagnosis. I have absolutely no doubts...the books I've read (Medicine,Mind and Meaning;Driven to Distraction; Healing ADD,and numerous evidence-based articles on the web)-could have be written about me. Kudos to my new psychiatrist who said "you may be on to something" (yes,she is worth her weight in gold!). As well, I will have our three children tested....I refuse to let them suffer as I have for nigh on 50 years -I shudder when I read that!

Questions for anyone who'd care to respond:

- did you or your children receive a false negative on testing, despite the positive symptoms in your life?? Dr Amen mentions that the stimulus of the testing situation itself (one on one,etc) may be just enough to camouflage one's ADD symptoms


- if you have been on stimulant medication (curiously,I'm already on one of the antidepressants which is highly recommended for ADD) - what can you tell me about your response to medication - slight improvement, moderate,significant,etc? (I know that medication alone is not the answer - but for me,at this stage,when I have spent years unconsciously devising ways and means to manage this condition - I am,quite frankly, exhausted,and am desperately hoping that medication will give me a much needed boost-so that I can reorganize,in a major way,my life.

Thanks :)

jen


Heh heh heh, I've still got you beat. I was 53 when an online friend suggested that my granddaughter might have ADD. I began reading about it and had that "light bulb moment" - I have ADHD (inattentive type). However I don't have health insurance to pay for testing or diagnosis or even medical treatment. I've been taking Omega 3 supplements for the last 4 years and found it really scary the one time I ran out and didn't buy a new bottle. That is what my life was like before and it scared the pants off me. How did I manage to cope with anything when I was undiagnosed and unmedicated for all my life? No wonder my family was so frustrated with me at times. No wonder I was so frustrated and angry at myself most of the time.

The closest I've come to being tested was to be interviewed as a possible subject for testing a new medication for memory - and was able to hyper-focus on the conversation and remember everything. Not at all like being caught off guard and having someone ask me for my phone number or my social security number. I believe I have dyscalclia (sp?) which is getting numbers all mixed up the way dyslexics mix up letters and words.

So my response probably wasn't very helpful since I haven't been tested and havn't ever taking any meds for ADHD. But I did want to say hi, and give you a high five for getting your children checked out for ADHD.

Hi Jen,

Welcome to the Boards.

There are many of us here who faithfully attended appointments and took pills, only to go on and on with non-improving 'depression' and 'anxiety' and such.

After asking if I might have an LD or ADD for many years, I finally "self referred" to a Testing Psychologist for psychoeducational/neuropsych testing.

I had 8 hrs of memory testing, etc, and knew the diagnosis in a week.

If you think of all the years I suffered (until age 33), $1200 was really not that much money.

PS, even at age 33, my University paid for my testing via the Student Disability Office. (Many Adult ADD shrinks prefer to work in College Student type settings, too.)

Welcome, Jen. Thanks for recommending a new for me book.

I was diagnosed as "hyperactive" in the 1970's and my parents were given the option of putting me on medication. They didn't, for better or worse, and as you say all the what ifs don't matter since it is impossible to know the result of a path not taken. Who knows, I may have wound up a brilliant scientist, and on my way to receive my Nobel Prize my plane could have gone down in the Atlantic. LOL.

After years of ignoring the problem I began taking medication, methylphenadate, at 38. The very first pill was like a rocket ride into a new reality. For the first time in my life I was mentally calm, and focused. I was physically dexterous, while before I was always clumsy. I felt confident and powerful, ready to take on the world. In one day I cleared a work schedule, that would have taken me a week and exhausted me, with energy to spare. Instead of being cranky and withdrawing from people, I enjoyed listening to what they had say. I slept like a baby for the first time in years. I had no doubt what my problem had been.

Since then I've become more used to the medication. The honeymoon period is over. While all those effects still remain they are somewhat diminished, the novelty of feeling "right" for the first time is gone. I'm now dealing with the psychological effects of having to unwind a lifetime of coping mechanisms that I built up to protect my self, from myself. Just about everything I used to do doesn't apply anymore, and I've had to begin rebuilding new patterns of behavior to fit with my new frame of mind. This in itself is frustrating at times, and exhausting, and I'm left feeling a bit depressed at times. It's a bit like being a child in the world again, frustrated that everyone else is bigger than you, and you aren't tall enough to get on that ride yet.

Despite that, I wouldn't want it any other way. The drugs are fantastic. I doubt very much that I'll become a Nobel prize winning scientist in my remaining days, but it doesn't matter. The change in the quality of my life is significant, and that will have to do for know.

Good for you, shapeofmyheart. I wish I was doing as well.

I'm 57 and still waiting for diagnosis I can't afford. The university let me know last week that I haven't made the cut for this year -- maybe summer, maybe next year...

The other waiting list, at a hospital, is at least another 12 months -- and there's no way to check where I am on that list.

My GP can't/won't do a dx, but apparently would have been happy to dx me with depression and give me drugs for that, if I had been willing. No thanks, I don't need to add 20 lbs, sleep all the time and take a drug with instant, awful withdrawal symptoms. All, for a condition I don't have.

I was thrilled last year when I twigged to the possibility of adult adhd. It explained a half-century of failures and underperformance. Now, almost a year after I approached my doctor about this, I'm still undiagnosed, untreated, unemployed, got turned down for a job this week (my first interview in months) and finally becoming depressed. Ah, the irony.

Ducky
a great big soggy wet blanket -- sorry

Good for you, shapeofmyheart. I wish I was doing as well.

I'm 57 and still waiting for diagnosis I can't afford. The university let me know last week that I haven't made the cut for this year -- maybe summer, maybe next year...

The other waiting list, at a hospital, is at least another 12 months -- and there's no way to check where I am on that list.

My GP can't/won't do a dx, but apparently would have been happy to dx me with depression and give me drugs for that, if I had been willing. No thanks, I don't need to add 20 lbs, sleep all the time and take a drug with instant, awful withdrawal symptoms. All, for a condition I don't have.

I was thrilled last year when I twigged to the possibility of adult adhd. It explained a half-century of failures and underperformance. Now, almost a year after I approached my doctor about this, I'm still undiagnosed, untreated, unemployed, got turned down for a job this week (my first interview in months) and finally becoming depressed. Ah, the irony.

Ducky
a great big soggy wet blanket -- sorry

I see you're in Canada,Ducky - I know that the services of a psychologist aren't covered by provincial healthcare plans,but the services of a psychiatrist are....even if you have to wait awhile for a referral to go through your family practitioner to the psychiatrist,it'd be better than that endless horizon of uncertainty,no?

Maybe you can be referred to a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD,or,once you're in the system,the first psychiatrist could refer you onto one who does....then,no cost to you.
That's the route I'm pursuing - it'll be some amount of $$$ for my children and hubby though...yes,it's at least possible that he is ADD as well....

All the best,
jen

Jen, welcome to the forum and maybe we should start the mid life diagnosis club. I was diagnosed at 51, so don't feel bad. Hang in there, life will get better.

Medications depending on whether they work for you can take a couple of weeks to six weeks to be effective. You may need to try several to get the desired effects. It all depends on your body chemistry.

Thanks for your reply! :)
I know if I went the stimulant antidepressant route,blood levels don't stabilize for ~ 3 weeks,but from my reading,the stimulants (Ritalin,etc) are effective very quickly with very short half lives - so that if you forget to take a dose,your ADD symptoms reappear very quickly. With my tendency to forget to take meds,that'll be a picnic! ;)

Thank you again for the warm welcome and the encouragement!
jen

I was diagnosed as "hyperactive" in the 1970's and my parents were given the option of putting me on medication. They didn't, for better or worse, and as you say all the what ifs don't matter since it is impossible to know the result of a path not taken. Who knows, I may have wound up a brilliant scientist, and on my way to receive my Nobel Prize my plane could have gone down in the Atlantic. LOL.

After years of ignoring the problem I began taking medication, methylphenadate, at 38. The very first pill was like a rocket ride into a new reality. For the first time in my life I was mentally calm, and focused. I was physically dexterous, while before I was always clumsy. I felt confident and powerful, ready to take on the world. In one day I cleared a work schedule, that would have taken me a week and exhausted me, with energy to spare. Instead of being cranky and withdrawing from people, I enjoyed listening to what they had say. I slept like a baby for the first time in years. I had no doubt what my problem had been.

Since then I've become more used to the medication. The honeymoon period is over. While all those effects still remain they are somewhat diminished, the novelty of feeling "right" for the first time is gone. I'm now dealing with the psychological effects of having to unwind a lifetime of coping mechanisms that I built up to protect my self, from myself. Just about everything I used to do doesn't apply anymore, and I've had to begin rebuilding new patterns of behavior to fit with my new frame of mind. This in itself is frustrating at times, and exhausting, and I'm left feeling a bit depressed at times. It's a bit like being a child in the world again, frustrated that everyone else is bigger than you, and you aren't tall enough to get on that ride yet.

Despite that, I wouldn't want it any other way. The drugs are fantastic. I doubt very much that I'll become a Nobel prize winning scientist in my remaining days, but it doesn't matter. The change in the quality of my life is significant, and that will have to do for know.

Thank you! It was so encouraging to hear your take on how the medications have and are working for you. You brought up the exact point I was wondering about myself...how I would deal with a half century's worth of learned behaviour; how difficult is it likely to be to pry that 'security blanket' out of my clenched fists!! :D

jen

Welcome, Jen. Thanks for recommending a new for me book.

You're welcome! I love referrals myself! :)

jen

Hi Jen,

Welcome to the Boards.

There are many of us here who faithfully attended appointments and took pills, only to go on and on with non-improving 'depression' and 'anxiety' and such.

After asking if I might have an LD or ADD for many years, I finally "self referred" to a Testing Psychologist for psychoeducational/neuropsych testing.

I had 8 hrs of memory testing, etc, and knew the diagnosis in a week.

If you think of all the years I suffered (until age 33), $1200 was really not that much money.

PS, even at age 33, my University paid for my testing via the Student Disability Office. (Many Adult ADD shrinks prefer to work in College Student type settings, too.)

Thank you for your writing about your experience! I just thought to ask,when your testing by the psychologist was complete...(I'm making an assumption here,that you are on medication -which may not be the case),but maybe you know the answer anyway: Since psychologists can't prescribe (here in Canada anyway)...do patients return,with a diagnosis in hand,to their FP for a prescription? Is it the FP who decides what/which meds to try??

When I read the part of your note about the testing you received in university (I'm happy for you,btw!!)...it reminded me that just last week my psychologist said that ADD/ADHD are recognized by universities as disabilities now - they receive special funding for 1.) anonymous note takers for classes, and 2.) small,quiet rooms in which students are permitted to write their exams....I got teary - our oldest child begins university this fall and will have access to these policies,if needed. When I began university at his age,32 yrs ago - it was in these two exact areas - poor note taking and exam distress, which caused the bottom to fall out of my world...if only I'd known...:)

It wasn't until I returned to uni at the age of 30, to study music that,with the hyperfocus they speak of,I attained excellent marks and finally realized that I wasn't a stupid person - it felt terrible to leave school half way through a science degree,thoroughly demoralized and embarrassed,leaving my (now) husband and friends behind to successfully complete their degree programs. Anyhoooo,I must try to put my past behind me! ;)

Thanks again for your input (this is a friendly place!)
jen

Heh heh heh, I've still got you beat. I was 53 when an online friend suggested that my granddaughter might have ADD. I began reading about it and had that "light bulb moment" - I have ADHD (inattentive type). However I don't have health insurance to pay for testing or diagnosis or even medical treatment. I've been taking Omega 3 supplements for the last 4 years and found it really scary the one time I ran out and didn't buy a new bottle. That is what my life was like before and it scared the pants off me. How did I manage to cope with anything when I was undiagnosed and unmedicated for all my life? No wonder my family was so frustrated with me at times. No wonder I was so frustrated and angry at myself most of the time.

The closest I've come to being tested was to be interviewed as a possible subject for testing a new medication for memory - and was able to hyper-focus on the conversation and remember everything. Not at all like being caught off guard and having someone ask me for my phone number or my social security number. I believe I have dyscalclia (sp?) which is getting numbers all mixed up the way dyslexics mix up letters and words.

So my response probably wasn't very helpful since I haven't been tested and havn't ever taking any meds for ADHD. But I did want to say hi, and give you a high five for getting your children checked out for ADHD.

Thanks,Lunacie, for your post - everyone has such interesting stories of their experience with this disorder! I'm impressed that you found something to help you,I take Omega 3s, too. This is not an easy-row-to-hoe,is it?! I've been very impressed with this site - it feels good to be amongst folks who know exactly how I feel...they've been through the wringer too! :)
jen

Thank you for your writing about your experience! I just thought to ask,when your testing by the psychologist was complete...(I'm making an assumption here,that you are on medication -which may not be the case),but maybe you know the answer anyway: Since psychologists can't prescribe (here in Canada anyway)...do patients return,with a diagnosis in hand,to their FP for a prescription? Is it the FP who decides what/which meds to try??

When I read the part of your note about the testing you received in university (I'm happy for you,btw!!)...it reminded me that just last week my psychologist said that ADD/ADHD are recognized by universities as disabilities now - they receive special funding for 1.) anonymous note takers for classes, and 2.) small,quiet rooms in which students are permitted to write their exams....I got teary - our oldest child begins university this fall and will have access to these policies,if needed. When I began university at his age,32 yrs ago - it was in these two exact areas - poor note taking and exam distress, which caused the bottom to fall out of my world...if only I'd known...:)

It wasn't until I returned to uni at the age of 30, to study music that,with the hyperfocus they speak of,I attained excellent marks and finally realized that I wasn't a stupid person - it felt terrible to leave school half way through a science degree,thoroughly demoralized and embarrassed,leaving my (now) husband and friends behind to successfully complete their degree programs. Anyhoooo,I must try to put my past behind me! ;)

Thanks again for your input (this is a friendly place!)
jen

Hi Shapeofmyheart,

I went to a Psychiatrist with a referral from GP. It is the psychiatrist that I'm dealing with for my medications. The GP was not good at all. He used to tell me that it was depression and actually had me started treatment for that. I did not agree with him, but gave it a try and stopped after 2 months. One day, I read an article about adult ADD/ADHD by accident and that is when it hit me. Read more about it and then went to GP and asked him for a referral.

If you are around Toronto, there are few psychiatrists who know well about ADD/ADHD, but the waiting period is long (3-6 months).

Good Luck!

re: #14

I'm glad someone knows where the Toronto psychiatrists who treat Adult ADD are.
(I had my testing and report completed in 2003.)

I moved here from Kingston last year, and I was told that the only Adult ADHD clinic (at CAMH) had closed down. :(

Hi Shapeofmyheart,

I went to a Psychiatrist with a referral from GP. It is the psychiatrist that I'm dealing with for my medications. The GP was not good at all. He used to tell me that it was depression and actually had me started treatment for that. I did not agree with him, but gave it a try and stopped after 2 months. One day, I read an article about adult ADD/ADHD by accident and that is when it hit me. Read more about it and then went to GP and asked him for a referral.

If you are around Toronto, there are few psychiatrists who know well about ADD/ADHD, but the waiting period is long (3-6 months).

Good Luck!

Thanks for your post,Bebeto!
I live nowhere near Ontario,but luckily have been in the psychiatric stream for quite a few years here,so I don't think the wait will be too long to see the ADD specialist just down the street from my psychiatrist (she estimated 4-6 wks). It won't be as easy for the rest of the family- I have calls into the school principals of my children's schools to start the process -if it takes too long,we'll go private (luckily our medical insurance will pay ~ 3/4).

Dear Jen,

Ned Hallowell here. I'm new to this site and was reading various posts. I'm so happy for you that you have find a diagnosis. Your life ought to get much better! Just knowing about it will help a lot. You can shed what I call the "moral diagnosis" (i.e., bad, lazy, inept, undisciplined) aa you learn about the medical diagnosis, ie, ADD. Next step in my opinion is to go to a strength-based approach and start to identify and develop your talents and interests. This will take work, but it will be hugely rewarding. You probably have many talents buried under a ton of negative feedback and self-talk. Try to bulldoze that aside (with some help!).
As for meds, in general the anti-depressants are not nearly as helpful as the stimulants like Concerta, Ritalin, Adderal, or Adderal XR. make sure you see a doctor who has plenty of experience treating adults with ADD.
And good luck to you!!! Happy journey!!!

I also received my ADHD diagnosis shortly following my 50th birthday. Prior to that time I had been treated for Major Depression and Anxiety to no avail. From my early treatments with Tricyclics to every SSRI that came out. Absolutely nothing made me feel better. I found yet another Psychiatrist and asked him to re-evaluate me to make sure I was properly diagnosed. After exhaustive testing...eureka a new diagnosis, ADHD. I began DexedrineSR and the first day I felt great. Not a 'high' great but rather a calm great. I even took a nap that afternoon.

Following medication adjustments, I now take 40mg DexSR in the AM and a 10mg tablet around 2pm if I need it. I am still on a low dose of antidepressant.

I cannot even put into words what a difference my life is today except to say 'Better late than never.' I am organized, stick to tasks, finish what I begin and behave much better socially. Of course I have also had to do work retraining myself and hopefully I continue to get better everyday. Life is truly so much better now. 50 rocks....

Dear Jen,

Ned Hallowell here. I'm new to this site and was reading various posts. I'm so happy for you that you have find a diagnosis. Your life ought to get much better! Just knowing about it will help a lot. You can shed what I call the "moral diagnosis" (i.e., bad, lazy, inept, undisciplined) aa you learn about the medical diagnosis, ie, ADD. Next step in my opinion is to go to a strength-based approach and start to identify and develop your talents and interests. This will take work, but it will be hugely rewarding. You probably have many talents buried under a ton of negative feedback and self-talk. Try to bulldoze that aside (with some help!).
As for meds, in general the anti-depressants are not nearly as helpful as the stimulants like Concerta, Ritalin, Adderal, or Adderal XR. make sure you see a doctor who has plenty of experience treating adults with ADD.
And good luck to you!!! Happy journey!!!

Wow! I'm honoured Dr Hallowell!! Thank you very much for responding! Your words mean alot to me. Your book 'Driven to Distraction' has been particularly helpful to clarifying everything for me. I'd say you're bang on with the 'negative feedback and self-talk' - luckily,I've been working on this for quite a while with professionals - (but never really getting anywhere with it....I believe that will all change soon though!) Thanks again. I've bookmarked your website. :)

jen