I am 33 and male. I have always been an entraupaneur and have finally got to a place where I want to be, in part... having my own business. While I have had my own business since I was 18 or 19, I have been mixed at success and failures, but always on the up and up. If I could keep the business afloat, I would get a job... if I was faced with making a job change or something changed in my business, I'd focus on the business. Almost two years ago, I was tossed in a situation that I was without a job with no notice. Being the sole bread winner for my wife and two young kids, and faced with a very difficult situation at home (wife was in and out of hospital for medical reasons) I decided it was "now or never" on making my own business run. Only this time, I would focus more on the service side and secure income that way, rather than doing the "dot.com bomb" route. ;)

To sum it up, it has been successful enough for me to duplicate and slightly exceed my regular income I got at the company I was at before, and this is counting my out of pocket expenses for medical and what not.

Even better, I work from home, I rarely have to deal with customers face to face or even on the phone, everything is done over email or IM. Seems like a dream business.

Here is my problem.

For the last year though, I have really been having a hard time with focus. I can't focus hardly at all. If it wasn't for a client of mine that pays me more on retainer than anything, I'd be screwed -or- maybe I'd be more driven. Who knows. If I lost this client, well, I'd be screwed or more driven perhaps.

I was on Adderall XR 30mg, but over time it just didn't seem effective. I couldn't really go hire because of BP and I also had heart skipping and what not because of the Adderall. My doc put my on Vyvanse 70mg, and while it was different, I really liked it and it seemed to help me out, for about 3 months, then I was back in the same boat. Unable to focus.

So, I asked the Doc, can I have a higher dose, and he said no, but gave me some regular adderall 20mg to take "as needed" to give me a boost. Well, I am finding that I need to take the boost daily, but even then it's not that effective. So, I don't think I am dealing with a med issue here, just mental focus issue.

My family/marriage is very stressful, my wife has some mental issues that make her not fun to be around. I feel like a single dad, and I have to keep the house clean if I want it clean, cause "she doesn't clean".

I love starting new stuff, but I get 60-80% complete and I can't seem to finish anything. I *know* if I could focus on my business and not be distracted by lifes woes and my typical distractions, I could double my income or triple it... which I need to do quite honestly because of medical bills. I can't seem to get a head... always just "making it".

I sometimes wonder if I had an office outside of home if that would be good for me, but then again, not sure. I can't afford to really have an office, but then again, can I afford NOT too. My kids are gone during the day, so I do get focus and wife is good at not bothering me too much.

I have been using the GTD method to get things done, and using OmniFocus on my Mac to help keep my tasks and next actions all organized, and from that perspective I seem fine... but I will go whole days and do nothing. It really bites. I am really tired of it. I'd fire myself if I could.

This "issue" is not new to me, I've had it in any job I've ever had. But, when your doing your own thing, you got to overcome these barriers.

ANY IDEAS OR HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS? I have changed my complete sleeping schedule around, I have never been a morning person and always worked better at night. But once, I started being a "single" dad and on Adderall and stuff, my effective time at night seemed to be drastically reduced to nothing. Taking a que on "Early to Bed, Early Rise makes you wealthy and wise", I started getting up at 3:30am each day, to "get going" on my days. I started at 4:30am, but realized that at 6:30am when I needed to break to shower and get the kids up and ready and off to school/daycare, that I was just hitting "full speed". So I changed it to 3:30am and this worked at really well for about a month or two... then I got sick for about a week and threw me all off, and while I am back on that schedule, I have no productivity advantage from it, in fact, I am struggling to do anything each day.

I thought I had found the "miracle cure" in getting up early, it was wonderful for productivity. I think if I get an office, I might be productive for a month or two, but then the newness would wear off and I'd be back at the same issue.

Zapped!

I have no idea what rentals are like wherever you are, but I would check into some short term leases. Maybe even some type of sublet/office share that could give you a tiny room with a door on it.

There are a lot of aspects of my husband's job that he can technically do from home. Sometimes he does, but whether the kids and/or I'm here or not, "home" can be distracting in and of itself. Full service kitchen, books, video games, t.v., comfy cozy bed, remembering to pay some bills, may as well throw in a load of laundry, clean a glob of toothpaste out of the sink, someone left legos on the floor, I keep meaning to fix that drawer, didn't realize we were low on milk, wonder what's so wonderful about Oprah, it's a beautiful day for fresh air, when did the outdoor furniture get so dirty, should probably be wearing sun block or a hat, where's the hat from last summer's vacation, better get some work done, here come the kids.

I say give a new location a shot. It doesn't sound like you're clients come to you, so it needn't be an impressive office. But you do need to realize that, if you have the ability to be productive for a month or two, you still *have the ability after that.
From what you've written, I have a feeling you're a lot like my husband and I are. You bust your butt, decide you've earned a little break, and then get frustrated at the prospect of starting the process all over again.

Wow, do you know me? Have you been listening in on my brain waves? MY GOSH, that is 100% me, and I didn't realize that ALL that crap going on in my head is distracting.

My wife, because she is ALWAYS going to a Dr, or therapy or something, and also has anxiety issues too... really seemed to be a pain in my butt on me staying focused with ditching the one or more kids at home while she had an appointment, during when I was suppose to be working. Well, even the kids never say BOO to me (which they most always do), I still have to be "aware" of what is going on with them, as they are young. While I have got her to stop doing this and having both kids in school or daycare has solved this issue for the most part... or own marriage issues tend to take a toll... if one of us "goes off" on the other for any reason at all... it just makes me burn for hours and I can't focus... so having those unpleasant issues around, don't help.

But, aside from that... your right... it's not just my wife or the kids, it's, the grass needs to be mowed, my house is still dirty, that stupid box has been sitting there for 3 weeks and my wife hasn't done anything with it and it's starting to really p*ss me off. Then then that snowballs into everything else I despise about her. (see, just talking about it gets me going). Or that she sits on her you know what all day and does nothing but watch TV, Dr Phil and Opera... oh and what nutcase (is my wife on their?) is on Dr Phil today as I go down for a refill.

I did have a shared office area, this was before I actually was doing this full-time and about the time my wife freaked out and went in the mental ward, this was about 2.5 years ago. It was a little odd, as it was an open environment with other people, but everyone was quiet for the most part, unless they where on the phone and that tended to make me mad if they where loud. But, it was nice to have the "office chat" too. Being stuck away at an office by myself, doesn't sound great, but it could probably work too.

But, then their is the computer and time issue. Since I get up at 3:30am now and have to get the kids up, feed them, dress them, and take them to school, I don't think I'd want to drag myself down to the office and then back home and what not. I have a desktop computer with dual 24" screens, which I couldn't drive two displays on a single laptop. And while I could use a 17" laptop and a 24" screen together, it's just not the same, and is more expensive for me. But, if the office route was successful for me, I could duplicate my setups and that would not be an issue at that point, maybe a motivation for being successful at the office.

Plus, I just have it made at home with my super faster internet I would not have elsewhere and no travel time. But again... like you point out, everything is a distraction, things I never thought about being a distraction, but you are right, they are... like paying bills!! or the sudden need to clean my office area, or whatever comes up.

If I can get back to place I was at before... I know he said he could "fit me in", just enough for a small desk and my computer, but it would only be $200 or so per month and while I'd have no privacy, I would have no other expenses short of gas to and from and it's only like 5-8 minutes from my home.

Outside of that... I'd be looking at a minimum of $350 anywhere else, and then probably some utility or internet expenses which would quickly raise my monthly cost.

I don't know.... I might need to call that guy and see if he will let me in, or course I've called him and met with him 3-4 times since I left, and was all out to do it, and then never did it, so he probably thinks I'm a flake.

I am 33 and male. I have always been an entraupaneur and have finally got to a place where I want to be ...

Here is my problem.

For the last year though, I have really been having a hard time with focus. I can't focus hardly at all. If it wasn't for a client of mine that pays me more on retainer than anything, I'd be screwed -or- maybe I'd be more driven. Who knows. If I lost this client, well, I'd be screwed or more driven perhaps. ...

I love starting new stuff, but I get 60-80% complete and I can't seem to finish anything. I *know* if I could focus on my business and not be distracted by lifes woes and my typical distractions, I could double my income or triple it... which I need to do quite honestly because of medical bills. I can't seem to get a head... always just "making it".

I sometimes wonder if I had an office outside of home if that would be good for me, but then again, not sure. I can't afford to really have an office, but then again, can I afford NOT too. Zapped!

Hey fellow traveler, ZappedMind:

Realize it's tough to put a winning game plan together for each unique ADDer. You're like a starting pitcher who needs a decent middle reliever and an awesome closer. David Neeleman, CEO of JetBlue & a creative genius, admits he can't close without his assistant & helpers: keeping him on track, on schedule, sending out letters for him, bills, etc. In other words, minding the things mundane or difficult for ADDers, providing relief and closing for us. "What's gonna work? ... Team-work!! ... When we work together, we've got the right stuff" [The Wonder Pets.]

Structure seems to be a key element of success, just like routine practice, training and warm ups in the bull-pen before the game. You either need to have an assistant there at your home office to keep your routine honest (by example or otherwise) or you need an outside office with more than one person assisting you (no matter how little you can afford to pay them now) for the same reasons.

Now get into the game and pitch your first strike-out! :cool:


<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

seems like you have a lot of things going no in you're life at 33! wow! a family, having a home based business, a wife with "issues'. I don't have much to much advice, but I will say that you might want to consider getting marriage counseling or possibly a divorce, as it seems like you don't get along with your wife very well.

seems like you have a lot of things going no in you're life at 33! wow! a family, having a home based business, a wife with "issues'. I don't have much to much advice, but I will say that you might want to consider getting marriage counseling or possibly a divorce, as it seems like you don't get along with your wife very well.

We tried the counseling and all that did for me was land me in insurance hell, so I get denied for my ADHD prescription coverage. THANKS SO MUCH WIFEY! Anyhow, the counsoling was not much help, my wife is bipolar, has GAD and unofficially Borderline Personality Disorder, on top of various medical conditions and what a freak'n mess. It's a marriage on paper only.

A divorce seems like "another thing on my plate" right now I don't want to have to be taxed with. But, it seems each day, we get closer to that. Plus, I can't imagine telling my kids... mommy and daddy won't be living together because of daddy's decision. UGH. That sucks.

Plus, if I didn't get custody of the kids, I think I'd cancel the divorce. Someone has to look after those kids and be on their side. Mom has a very, very short temper and never takes the anywhere so the only way they get out of the house and do anything is with me.

My morning was really good today, oddly enough. But, it's 1pm in the afternoon and I can't seem to get started. Granted it's been 7 hours since I took my Vyvanse, so maybe I should take a Adderall 20mg boost to see if that helps.

I really need to figure out why I am dragging. One thing I know is this project that I need to finish up for a client, is MUCH bigger than what I originally bid, and while they are paying more for the extra work, I can't seem to "wrap it up" and move on. I tend to like taking BIGGER projects because a) I usually get them (no or little competition) and b) they pay more and I don't have to waste my time bidding thousands of small projects.

But if I could figure out WHY I do what I do... then I'd probably be a millionaire, in more ways than one. I wish I could just work on stuff and go on to the next thing. Why is that so difficult?

Hey fellow traveler, ZappedMind:

Realize it's tough to put a winning game plan together for each unique ADDer. You're like a starting pitcher who needs a decent middle reliever and an awesome closer. David Neeleman, CEO of JetBlue & a creative genius, admits he can't close without his assistant & helpers: keeping him on track, on schedule, sending out letters for him, bills, etc. In other words, minding the things mundane or difficult for ADDers, providing relief and closing for us. "What's gonna work? ... Team-work!! ... When we work together, we've got the right stuff" [The Wonder Pets.]

Structure seems to be a key element of success, just like routine practice, training and warm ups in the bull-pen before the game. You either need to have an assistant there at your home office to keep your routine honest (by example or otherwise) or you need an outside office with more than one person assisting you (no matter how little you can afford to pay them now) for the same reasons.

Now get into the game and pitch your first strike-out! :cool:


<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

I've read where people say, just have someone work with you, it could be the 14 year old neighbors kid to just sit their and keep you on track. I think the GTD author said that. But, what I need help with is someone to finish up things and I almost need another ME.

I don't have much non-technical stuff to deal with or even enough lower-end technical stuff to have someone else handle those issues. In fact, I like the "distraction" of something easy when I am dealing with something more difficult.

Maybe I need motivation? I don't know. Maybe I should just hire someone to say, "YOUR FIRED IF YOU DON'T GET THIS DONE TODAY!!".

Oh well.

Sorry I can't offer much help, but I am in a similar situation. I am self employed also.

I did move my operations to a new space out of my home, I thought it would renew my enthusiasm. Nope, nadda, nothing new clicking.:confused:

I think you may be on to something with the newness factor in any endeavor. I am full force at first, then it wears off and I am looking for the next thing to add to my "jack of all trades list".

Not that I have done it myself, but my suggestion would be to stay put and work on finding out what is causing the "issue". I wish I would have asked for more help along the way. Could it just be like me in that having so much life stress is causing burnout and massive brain fog?
Before I was diagnosed with ADD inattentive (I'm still not sure) I was dxed by another MD with a more natural approach, as having adrenal fatigue. Not sure about that either, but I know something is not right.

Perhaps the money would be better spent on therapy or an ADD coach.
I cant afford either right now. I'm doing this instead of working on a quote that could make me money!

Mscreek - Ugh, yea... here I am an hour and 10 minutes later and still have not did an ounce of anything. I even took 20mg Adderall and no difference at all. I decided to go "do something" so I went out and got something to eat and cleaned out the car, cause my wife started trashing it up again. I figure if I keep on top of the "build up", I'd be better off than just watching it grow and getting more stress out of it.

Nice to know on the new office thing... and what you experienced. I realize we can all be different, but your right, I need to figure it out before I go out and do the office thing.

Today, was the first time we had some severe weather in the area, and I used to be an avid storm chaser, until I got married or at least until kids came along. The last 4 years or so haven't been great cause of my previous work schedule (2nd shift) and the last two years of my wife's "ordeal", and well... I haven't done much of anything.

SOOOOO... what I was thinking this year, if I could go storm chasing a few times, that would be wonderful and perhaps, brush up or enhance my storm forecasting skills so maybe I'd actually chase something besides sunny clear skies! :) But, no way that I could head out today, or anytime this week, since I am so far behind on everything. I waste my time here typing away or on other forums dealing with my spouses issues and ranting over their. (everyone needs an outlet).

I was diagnoised with ADHD (although, I don't see myself as hyper, but from what I read it's all the same) but I am terribly inattentive. I'd start a new website every other day if I could... and if was time well spent, like I'd make money from them. I've only had two successful sites, one I started in 1997 and sold in 1999 during the dot.com rush and did well with that, but (not fantastic), and I also run a site now that does "okay", but I never post on the forums anymore cause I'm bored with it.

:(

I love helping people and helping people with all sorts of technology stuff, but I need to focus on the bottom line and the bottom line is not really my major interest area, it just happens to be where I make money... kind of important! I don't want to end up working 8-5 somewhere again.

I found out today that my insurance that runs out today, refused to cover my 90 day prescription for Vyvanse ($377 full price) and my new insurance won't cover it, so I have to pay big time on meds now, plus, my wife has her meds (all 500 of them) and her deductible will probably get maxed out the first month... so, possibly $2000-$3000 in additional expenses in the next two months on top of everything else, should be motivation enough to get my butt in gear.

I read on another site that we "people in general, not just ADHD" tend to waste/spend more time saving $10, than we would to make an effort to MAKE $10. This is so true when you think about it... I am always looking at where I can reduce our budget down and save $120/yr by getting rid of Caller ID for example. I might spend hours trying to reduce my budget and making calls and dealing with backlash of wife wonder why caller id doesn't work... when I could just take on a new project for an hour or two and be done with that $120.

So... realizing this, it gets me to thinking.... maybe I should be less worried about reducing my budget by $100-$200/mo and focus on making $100-$200 more per month. I never want to pay a maid or anyone to come clean the house cause my wife should do that, she doesn't have a job and makes the biggest mess of us all. I hate doing the lawn because of allergies. But, I don't want to pay someone $30-$50/hr to come over and do what both I and my wife are capable of doing. Yet... if I was productive and could work a solid 8-10 hours per day and be paid for most of that, then I could afford to have someone come over and do those things and heck, I might be less stress and have more enjoyment in life?!

when I first started in my field a mentor told me never to rely on one big highpaying client. if any client is so integral to your business that you'd fail without them, you're no longer freelance or self-employed. try to diversify your client base...that's the only bit of thought I can offer, the rest is confusing to me, too!

Well, I could "live" without this client, but I'd have to work harder. Funny thing, I am trying to diversify my client base even more to make any impact of any client negligible but I am having issues focusing. Looking at another thread, heck... maybe my issue is Vyvanse!? Who knows. It would be nice to solve this issue aside from meds. I wish meds where not the "answer".

UGH! Not one thing done all day!

Got on a freak'n side-track this morning.... playing tying to find a good solid voice-over guy for my virtual phone system. Why? NO FREAK'N clue! As I only get 1% of my business from the phone. But, it was fun!

In case your in the market, this seems like a solid company and good pricing.

http://www.provoiceusa.com/

Well... HMMMM............. I also play around with "re-wiring" my virtual phone system and played around with attempting to Sync my Address Book data on my Mac to RingCentral. But, they only use old fashion CSV and I needed something more dynamic. So, I used Plaxo, to sync my contacts from Address Book to Plaxo, then Plaxo with Outlook Express on Windows (via Parallels) then synced RingCentral Call Controller w/ Outlook, and then attempted to sync Call Controller w/ RingCentral and WHAM... dead end, got server errors from RingCentral. UGH. Well, someday it should work, in theory.

It's like doing the puzzle data shuffle.

The rest of the day, I just sat here mad because I was so unproductive.

UGH.... Maybe I need a coach? Do they work?

I'm a lot like you, in that I have a partner that I harbor resentments and if fight starts it really incapcitates me and nothing gets done. Plus when you live with the, "this probably isn't going to work out anyway menatality" in getting anything done, its like, "whats the point". For myself I have decided to just do the best that I can for myself and try and get along until I'm fit to make decisions. I'm the one in our relationship w/ the butt glue. He does most all the work. What happens with me is that I will pep up and take interest and start cleaning. I will keep this up for about 2-3 days than bf will say something ugly about what I dont do???? I try to figure why now when I'm actually doing something? So I get ****ed and depressed and just stop doing anything. Also he is a control freak and a collector so cleaning around here is a nightmare. None of the home improvement projects get finished, its a mess. Because of my ADD and being over sensitive and overwhelmed it is really hard for me around here.
I understand your frustration especially working from home (me too) and someone pushing our buttons. If I can get better and manage my ADD than maybe I will preceive the relationship differently and it will work. Or, If I get this person out of my life maybe I can get better because they are making it harder.

Considering I have now had about 4 unproductive business days in a row now, and about a week behind as it is, I decided to "change" things around and mix it up. Usually, cause I wake up so early 3:30am, it takes me about an hour to "wake up" and for meds to kick in. I usually start sorting through my previous day or two piles and fine myself paying bills and reading/deleting emails and flagging which ones need to be addressed.

Tonight, I stayed up a little later and did a deep clean on my office and purge, including the adjacent bathroom. I have a pile for bills or things that need to be addressed, but because I know what it is, I can put it off for later in the day or when I start feeling foggy.

I went ahead and got myself "ready" for the day on what I need to start working on the morning, and my goal is to FINISH this stupid project by noon tomorrow. Granted, it won't be the end of it, but at least I will have the major painful side completed.

I also realize that I have not been doing the GTD method appropriately lately and storing things in my head. I found that storing my "family/wife problems" in my head so took up "ram" and I needed to write that stuff down so I could let it go and move on. While I will not address all that tonight, I will do a quick purge of tasks and add to my list to purge my mind of personal thoughts, etc. In a effort to clear my head.

If I don't need to figure out what I need to do tomorrow morning or think, OMG, I got to pay all this and deal with all this stuff on my desk and whatever, HOPEFULLY I will be more productive. Wish me luck!!!

texasmissb - I find myself not attending to things that need done around the house, because she never tends to anything. But, those things just make me more mad and so all I am doing is shooting myself. I'm sure she feels the same way on things, "attempts" to clean something (about 5% completion) then expect "kudos" but doesn't get them cause it's not done... and I think she thinks, "why should I do it?".

I don't know... it's a tough call on what to do. I have another thread going on addressing more of HER issues and some feedback I think might help so I need to address that.

Best of Luck!

SCORE!!

Well, my morning was amazingly productive. I just got the kids up and dressed and now I am taking a quick break before I take them off to school.

I introduced so many new things today, I don't know which one(s) where key ingredients to my success.

a) Woke up to clean, uncluttered desk that I knew the purpose of each pile. So I was able to ignore my small pile of bills.

b) Woke up to only 6 msgs in my inbox and 5 I was able to delete. Didn't have to sort through 40 messages and figure out what to do. I followed my typical "Inbox Zero" policy I enjoy using.

By this time, I didn't know what to do with myself, I sat down at the computer at 3:45am and took my meds and only had about a minute of dealing with emails. So, I started looking at this project I have been avoiding and then, got side tracked on looking at news. I thought, this isn't going to work! I feel like I am going to drift.

c) 4:10am, went down to the local convenience store hoping that some breakfast would help kick things in. They didn't have out their breakfast sandwiches yet, so I was stuck with a donut and got a large Diet Dr Pepper.

d) Back home around 4:20am, put on my headphones, cranked up the music and got to work, and worked for 2 hours straight before I had to break for showering and getting the kids up and ready.

Will it continue from 8am on when I kick back in? Hopefully... I am not stuck on my project, so should be able to get back into it.

I did notice that I felt a "rush" of meds or sugar or something that I haven't felt recently on just Vyvanse. Probably just the sugar from the donuts, or perhaps eating something helped the Vyvanse work better? Maybe the caffeine as well or combo of all?

:cool:

You sound like your doing better and getting it done. I have got to get stuff done today to, its at the point where I haven't done anything for several days and bf has been nice since yesterday. I'm going to make a small list and just get at least those things done so I dont overwhelm myself. I will also straighten out my organiser and fix a work area for me thats more free of distractions. Best wishes to you!