I don't know if this is correlated with ADD/ADHD or if it's just me. I seem to have an extremely hard time being content. One example - when I was pregnant, I envied all women who had just had their babies or the women that were near term. When I had my baby, I envied all the women that were still pregnant. This is just one example. I just can't seem to be content with *my* life. Is it because I get bored with my current situation? Is it b/c I feel like I want to be someone else? I really hate feeling this way b/c I know I have a wonderful family and I love them with all my heart so why can't I just be happy and content with my life?

wow, an actual good thread! :)

I feel the same way. I'm never content with most things in my life.... Work, relationships with people, sports activities(especially golf!). Its really not good. I wish I wasn't like this. Anyone else?

dont think there single point in my life where i was content . always on a drive for better and also i have this tendency to always ponder and analyze everything i ever do

FREAKY! I totally relate!! And in my estimation - FOR ME - it has everything to do with my spiritual health! In other words, when I'm not doing very well spiritually, I'm not very content with my life. And now that I'm older and have grown so cynical and have lost my faith, it feels impossible to ever have a healthy spiritual life again.

Sorry to be so heavy - it's just MY take on it though.

Luv,
Sue

I've also never been content with anything in my life. I have a nice home and I love my family. I had a good job. But there has always been a part of me that felt like something was still missing or just not right. Maybe that's why I'm always looking to change things, even if it's just moving the furniture around or suddenly deciding to start painting a wall. Even with relationships, I always start looking for something to go wrong. Sometimes I think that if I'm content with everything in my life, then life no longer is challenging or has a purpose. I feel like I always need to have one more thing to do, one more project. Maybe that's why I'm never content. I think I may fear contentment.

I can completely relate to you on this one. Every time I get to a certain place especially proffesionally I feel uncontrollably compeled to go further, to the next step or level. Its not that I want to advance my position to make more money or have more power, its just that I'm not content where I am for long. I get bored and antsy and need to go further. Unfortunately for a person battling ADHD that means more school. Which makes me frustrated when I'm in school because of the ADHD battle. Its a horrible curse, frustrated with where I am then frustrated while working to go further just to be frustrated when I'm done. Just makes me want to scream.

I don't think this is unique to ADHD or ADD. We have the term "the grass is always greener on the other side" coined by non affected folks. I think it's just a normal human trait to a degree.

Well, that's an interesting question. Is anyone really content? I used to feel sorry for myself and really felt like a freak because it seems I can never be content or happy. Even in the most beautiful and perfect settings and circumstances, I am worried about what is next, or uncomfortable with the emotions...In me I don't feel this has anything to do with boredom or ADHD, but much to do with anxiety and fear and obsession with control. When things are out of my control, or I don't know what to expect next, I am uncomfortable and anxious - - and guess what? Things are NEVER in my control. So I attribute my discontentment to my co-morbid anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, etc.

Funny - I think when I was younger I may have envied other people. Oh yeah - especially high school. But I am so cynical now that I've come to believe everyone is miserable in their own way, so why would I want to be anyone else?

Ironically, I don't wish I had this or had that or lived somewhere else or had a different job or won the lottery. It's odd in a way, because although I feel fat and ugly, I never find myself wishing I were different. This sounds really depressing, but I think I just surrendered a long time ago. Gave up. It all is as it all is - and you can include the whole world in that. Nothing I do will change it, so I surrender. No I'm not content, but surrendering is a heck of a lot easier than trying to change things I can't.

It's seems like a contradiction, but I think the biggest reason for my unhappiness that I still expect the impossible of myself. So I guess I haven't surrendered to my inability to be perfect. I constantly disappoint myself - at times have hated myself. But it's getting better now. Who knows, maybe I can allow myself to hope and actually have a goal (been a long time) - a goal to be content with myself and my life. You know, I don't think that's unreasonable at all. Therapy is helping me a lot.

FREAKY! I totally relate!! And in my estimation - FOR ME - it has everything to do with my spiritual health! In other words, when I'm not doing very well spiritually, I'm not very content with my life. And now that I'm older and have grown so cynical and have lost my faith, it feels impossible to ever have a healthy spiritual life again.

Sorry to be so heavy - it's just MY take on it though.

Luv,
Sue

I agree, Sue. And only because there was a time in my life that despite my mental health problems, my spiritual health was better - and I was more content then. I could accept things. I could let things go. I could even accept me. Or at least better than now. I felt....good enough. Somehow I lost all that. I've been trying to get some of that spiritual health back, and am making some progress. I really do believe it's possible to start over, Sue, so don't give up on it.

I have the same thing but view it very differently now. It was during a very spiritual period when I began to view "never content" as constant strive for improvement.

I was not content with where I was in my spiritual maturity - I felt I should be more be better - I realized I was never content.

Then a question popped into my mind

What would it be like if I were completely content? How would I react to having it all and wanting no more?

I saw a person with nothing left to strive for - nothing left to look forward to and lack of a reason for being.

From that moment until the present I understand this never content is why we constantly seek to improve - it is the drive for trying this and doing that - it is why we are more today than we were yesterday

Never content is not my enemy - because it is the emotion that drives me to be more tomorrow than I am today.

This perspective change has relieved my anxiety and depression surrounding contentment - I see my life as a work in progress because there is no such thing as perfection - Perfection is a delusion of the mind because in truth perfection doesn't exist outside of it.

Life is as it should be but it should never stop changing for that which is stagnant become foul with deterioration and impending death.

I hope that doesn't sound too weird but it works for me and has for decades now - it even works when my faith is at a low period- high points and low points are all part of the ebb and flow of life - this includes our spiritual life as much as our physical and mental. . .

Okay my two cents as usual I am unusual - oh well tis the way it is.

From that moment until the present I understand this never content is why we constantly seek to improve - it is the drive for trying this and doing that - it is why we are more today than we were yesterday

Never content is not my enemy - because it is the emotion that drives me to be more tomorrow than I am today.

This perspective change has relieved my anxiety and depression surrounding contentment - I see my life as a work in progress because there is no such thing as perfection - Perfection is a delusion of the mind because in truth perfection doesn't exist outside of it.

Life is as it should be but it should never stop changing for that which is stagnant become foul with deterioration and impending death.

I totally agree Meadd823. There are many things about my life that I would dub "acceptable," if that makes any sense. In other words, I don't feel discontent about them, but there's always that striving to be better or more, or whatever. I want to be a better _______ whatever, fill in the blank. I (me) want to be a better lawyer, a better wife, a better partner to my law partners, a better friend, a better mom to my horsey and my kitties, etc.

The only things that I find myself feeling "contented" about are actually that: things. I have a nice enough house in a good enough (actually excellent) neighborhood (with FABULOUS neighbors), in a nice city. I drive an older, dented, rusty 150,000 VW, but that's good enough. Those are the kinds of things with which I become content, but aspects of one's spiritual self, physical self (fitness, nutrition, quality of life issues), emotional self, etc...those I'm always striving to improve, and can't say that I'm ever "content" with those things.

Sandy

That's a lot of horsepower for a VW, Sandy! :cool:

Well, of course that's why I'm so content with it. ;):)

I have trouble with some words like content, happy etc. When someone asked me if I was happy I would say I was comfortable. I explained that I was aiming for comfortable because I wasn’t the ‘happy’ type. I hate to admit it but I still have too much anger about the past to ever consider myself content with anything. Today, I’m working on acceptance. I'm learning to accept things as they are, myself included. And this seems to work quite well.

i can relate in a way. Im probably more restless than discontent. I think it can be a good thing tho, it means we are always pushing to be better.

--
Did you grow up around someone or have a role model who was (a) 'never content' or who was (b) overly critical or (c) competitive, themselves? (Some caregivers can idealize a kid while devaluing another, too, etc.)

That sort of role modeling could certainly help create a sort of low-lying constant dissatisfaction in a young person, IME.

N.B. Reading about 'learning gratitude' may help.

http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Gratitude-Book-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/158270208X

Bluerose, I'm surprised. From your posts and that yoga pose in your photos somewhere, I'd have guessed that you'd be very..... mmmmmm "peaceful," is the word that comes to mind. Maybe that's not the same as "content." I'd probably equate the two, though.

Wow, I came to a realisation not long ago that it'd be very hard for me to be content. I don't know if I'll ever manage it to be honest. Even if I had everything and done and had done everything I want to do, I don't think I'd feel content at all. : S

I'm hardly ever content with anything because I have not learned to accept myself. I'm working on it though. I have glimpses of it usually its a spiritual experiance and I get to feel what is possible for me. I have been sprirtually discontected for awhile and I'm starting to work on that again.

I could have almost written any of the previous posts (save for the ones talking about pregnancy). I can really relate to the people feeling something was missing. I too am always looking for more, it seems I am never happy with what I have, needs to be better. I have always strived to be the best in everything I do and frankly sometimes that is not possible.

Bluerose, I'm surprised. From your posts and that yoga pose in your photos somewhere, I'd have guessed that you'd be very..... mmmmmm "peaceful," is the word that comes to mind. Maybe that's not the same as "content." I'd probably equate the two, though.


I don't think of myself as anything like happy, content or peaceful. I aim for things like peace of mind and self-acceptance today because I'm very aware that my family have been supportive over the years but they have their own families to take care of now. So I threw myself into relaxation and meditation partly as a distraction from my troubles and partly to show my family that I was doing okay. Strangely enough it began to work for me. I am growing more peaceful but that doesn't mean that I don't still like to get certain things off my chest. It's all part of the healing process. On a lighter note, I keep telling myself, "If you must be a pessimist, try to be an optimistic pessimist."

i have the same isues

I'm content about 10-20% of the time, that's pretty good I think,

A friend with ADD told me the secret is just to enjoy the *NOW*. Don't think too far back or ahead... just enjoy what you have. It's hard but once you get into the habit it is empowering.

Keep a 'grateful' book and write what you are happy about. Keep it by your bed and flick through in difficult times.

Those are the kinds of things with which I become content, but aspects of one's spiritual self, physical self (fitness, nutrition, quality of life issues), emotional self, etc...those I'm always striving to improve, and can't say that I'm ever "content" with those things.


Emotional self - err the minute I am content with that aspect of me I screw it up some how - drats. So it feels as if I am always having to strive to over come - I have periods of bliss - like when my kitty sits on my shoulder and purrs. . . . I love to hear a cat purr.


I don't feel discontent about them, but there's always that striving to be better or more, or whatever. I want to be a better _______ whatever, fill in the blank. I (me) want to be a better lawyer, a better wife, a better partner to my law partners, a better friend, a better mom to my horsey and my kitties, etc.


This is very much like me. I want to be better for others - then again to be better for others is to be better for self in a way because what comes around goes around.




could have almost written any of the previous posts (save for the ones talking about pregnancy).

ROFL - you are too much!

I love to hear a cat purr.

Me, too, Meadd. Big time. Not much better than a purrin' kitty.

A friend with ADD told me the secret is just to enjoy the *NOW*. Don't think too far back or ahead... just enjoy what you have. It's hard but once you get into the habit it is empowering.

Keep a 'grateful' book and write what you are happy about. Keep it by your bed and flick through in difficult times.

Wow! Great advice!