A relative of mine is a genius. When he took the SAT he scored in the top 1% in both Math and Verbal. He graduated with a Business Administration Degree with High Honors. His IQ is off the charts. He has been taking a variety of pills for ADHD for years. Now that he is in his twenties he has to find a job and work to survive. He is finding the world of academics was alot easier than the real world.

So far he has worked in five jobs in 2 years and has been fired from each of them. He was never given any warning or progressive discipline. In each case he interviewed well but turned off his boss and coworkers with his off beat unusual personality. He seems to self absorbed to make any friends in the office and can not build the personal alliances that are needed to survive in the world of business.

So after a few months the boss will call him in the office and tell him it is a bad fit and send him packing. Can you relate?

Yes..........

To elaborate a little more beyond my impulsive first reply;

There can be a number of reasons why someone like your relative would be experiencing these job hops. For a long time I was very introverted and didn't feel comfortable talking to many people. As I got older I gained some confidence, but I experienced the backlash of uncommon and unwanted outbursts at work and in social situations. I would make comments or jokes that were either out of place or just too darn annoying. In my first real job out of college my boss called me the "outspoken one", and I was. I spoke up about ever injustice in the workplace and commented on all of the things I disliked about my job. Thing is I should have kept that as just internal monologue. That behavior eventually got me in trouble. I never felt like I could control those types of comments or behavior, I still don't. Now I find myself avoiding situations where I think I will want to speak up. That's not a perfect fix.

There could be a number of behavior traits that he is exibiting that are creating this pattern. Most of us experience some or all of them. It is extremely frustrating and can cause years and years of turmoil.

Agent

Hmmmm... this is interesting. AgentSpeed, I've been noticing myself do that quite a bit recently, and I'm beginning to question my own behavior. I've been speaking out quite a lot recently. What our company is doing is rather ridiculous though, and much worse. I haven't been getting in much trouble, but my actions have been brought to my attention quite a bit lately by management. Luckily some things have been getting taken care of, but I'm beginning to think that I'm being considered a "whistle blower" or something of that sort. Today was the first day that I was about to send out an email to a director, and actually thought in my head.... "wait, do I need to provide all of this information, is this too personal, maybe I don't need to provide this much of a background story, do I need to fight this battle, etc." I ended up cutting 3/4th of the email out, and was glad I did.

I've become more.... eccentric than usual in the past few weeks. It is good and bad. Good because I'm getting much more accomplished, but bad because I feel slightly uncomfortable, almost paranoid, around others now. I still put on a good front though, so I don't know if many have noticed. But I think that they think that I'm acting oddly, so I apologize. But then I think my over apologetic behavior might make me look odd. I'm just rambling now....

Being an unemployable genius - no I can not relate to either

I would say your relative is a poor fit with his profession.

Being an unemployable genius - no I can not relate to either

I would say your relative is a poor fit with his profession.
Yep. I'd also go further onto say that I think he needs to grow up a bit and start playing by other people's rules.

Sounds harsh, but I'm also the high IQ type and have excelled at just about every job I've had.. I was fired once from a car lot after wrecking a car (I really got fired for lying about it) but that was over 10 years ago.

I've worked jobs for ~3 years but usually left those jobs due to moving away for various reasons like college or family reasons.

Being an unemployable genius - no I can not relate to either

No offense, but I really hate that. According to tests and such, I'm a "genius" as well. I know that you haven't claimed so, but I sense a hint of "I'm better than that". However I am smart enough to pretend to be like most, therefore I can get by.... for the most part.

No offense, but I really hate that. According to tests and such, I'm a "genius" as well. I know that you haven't claimed so, but I sense a hint of "I'm better than that". However I am smart enough to pretend to be like most, therefore I can get by.... for the most part.

I liked the last comment. I translate it to saying that if my friend was really so smart he could figure out a way to act like everyone else and build those personal alliances needed to keep his job regardless of his natural odd offbeat personality. Business- no matter what job you have, is really about building relationships. Isn't it?

(Though if he got some couseling and progressive disciple from his bosses instead of just firing him without notice or warning, he may have a better understanding of what he is doing wrong)

I think part of your friends problem is that he is unaware he is breaking social rules and conventions, but no one will point to him he's breaking them, so he gets stuck in a rut.

"Business- no matter what job you have, is really about building relationships. Isn't it?" ugh, and that's the worst part, isn't it? ... if he has the genius in reality and not just on paper, he'll end up like me- running a place. I'm not rich but i'll never fire myself, ;)

No offense, but I really hate that. According to tests and such, I'm a "genius" as well. I know that you haven't claimed so, but I sense a hint of "I'm better than that". However I am smart enough to pretend to be like most, therefore I can get by.... for the most part.

Av8rjoker - umm I am not too sure how you could possibly experience an emotion based upon weather or not I can relate to some thing some one else posted ? Mind boggling.

Being an unemployable genius - no I can not relate to either


I cannot relate to either:

1) being unemployed = so I must be employed

2) I can not relate to being a genius = I can relate to being an idiot


Now it is my turn

What does my being an employed idiot have to do with you any way?




I know that you haven't claimed so, but I sense a hint

If I haven't claimed it then you assuming it


If I thought I was better than that I would have said it

I don't use HINTS people seem to have enough difficulty with things said directly.

btw- please ask for clarification next time instead of reading crap into my post I didn't say.

My point was

The importance of finding a job that is a good fit no matter what one's intelligence level is. Hence the second line, same post

I would say your relative is a poor fit with his profession.


I am not a genius but I am employed becuase I found a profession that is a good fit for me !!!

Well meadd823, obviously you did take offense to that. It seems that I completely misread your post. Since there were no quotes, I thought you were saying it.

Instead of going on a defensive tangent, you could have just said "I was quoting someone else." Then the next probable post by me would be, "Whoops, I misread that. I apologize."

That being said, I apologize. Situation resolved. I hope that you will disregard my previous statement and not hold it against me in other current or future posts.

re: #1

I've known a number of people like this over the years. A lot of them wind up spending their lives on welfare [never knowing what's wrong with them], or spend their lives greatly underachieving, to everyone's bafflement.

Some are undiagnosed ADD, some are probably NVLD, super schizoid, etc. All kinds of people who are essentially "low EQ".

I'd think it's better to have a lower IQ (even -1 SD/~15 points) and have a very high EQ, than have the reverse.

High EQ has been linked to success in the 'game of life', whereas High IQ isn't. (Book: "Emotional Intelligence" by author/researcher Daniel Goleman)

The pivotal factor in your relative's case is whether he (a) thinks he has a problem, and (b) is willing to admit it and get self-educated about overcoming his issues.

This is called 'personal responsibility'. [A major factor in whether people with issues improve.]

No one can take this action for him, EXCEPT him.

And your job has to be to have the "boundaries" to 'detach' from his problems, as painful as they are to witness.

Has he looked into finding some type of Career Counselor? I bet having a DISC assesment done could be really helpful for him.

One of the ADHD Risk Factors is a propensity to either be terminated or change jobs more often ( when compared to same age / gender non-ADHD peers ).

I would respectfully suggest that having your relative consider possibly taking a series of aptitude tests to assess their natural talents & abilities.

If you go into something that you're naturally well suited for, not only will you be more likely to succeed, you'll probably enjoy it more.

good luck

tc
mctavish23
(Robert)

I can relate to this.... and when you said your relative was finding the work of work much tougher than academia there's a HUGE hint there.

If hs IQ is off the scale and he has low EQ them maybe academia type work is where he should be. It doesn't have to be actually in an Academic institution.... there are many niches where someone can be respected for their ability to be given a problem, analyse it effectively, simplify it and provide strategies toward it's solution without the need for meetings, and timewasting social interaction.

Unfortunately such organisations are never mainstream and the jobs rarely contain the above job spec.

kilt

I've become more.... eccentric than usual in the past few weeks. It is good and bad. Good because I'm getting much more accomplished, but bad because I feel slightly uncomfortable, almost paranoid, around others now. I still put on a good front though, so I don't know if many have noticed. But I think that they think that I'm acting oddly, so I apologize. But then I think my over apologetic behavior might make me look odd. I'm just rambling now....

Joker...I have been doing that too! very not me.. odd..

I thought meadd was just mentioning that although ADDers tend to be smart.. even Genius... In order to excel at work, we have to find a good fit. Like say someone has the intelligence for Rocket Science...they might be more successful in sales because they are more outgoing....or vice versa..Customer service would be bad for someone who doesn't like social environments.

I might be off MeADD but that's what I took ;)

I've become more.... eccentric than usual in the past few weeks. It is good and bad. Good because I'm getting much more accomplished, but bad because I feel slightly uncomfortable, almost paranoid, around others now. I still put on a good front though, so I don't know if many have noticed. But I think that they think that I'm acting oddly, so I apologize. But then I think my over apologetic behavior might make me look odd. I'm just rambling now....

I could have not described my feelings, as of late, better. It is odd because that is how I used to feel a very long time ago, but I was happy to get over that sort of thinking and become much more social. Yet when I became more social, I started failing at everything else. When I think about it, I'm much happier (in a way) being "a little odd" and improving myself overall than being more carefree/funny/accepted by others.

My fiance has been a little upset recently because I've been doing so much, and therefore can't give her much attention. But even though she has been a bit sad, she told me that she truly does understand and is very proud of me for all of my recent accomplishments. In the end it is better for us, and although she may seem a little upset, she told me that she fully understands and is still trying to encourage me. So I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and hope for the best. :D