View Full Version : Schizoid personality disorder


cashmere
04-16-08, 11:48 AM
Six months ago i was diagnosed with a schizoid personality disorder,I have had this condition for many years without knowing.Relationships,work,family,friends have been cast away like fishing nets thrown into the sea.While the cogs slowly turn and mesh together in my life the more they malfunction.

I have joined a few other forum sites,but found a lot of the people all hype,without being unkind,maybe its just me and the spd.You may ask what are you actually looking for on the forums,initially just to relate to my condition and understand it.To be fair i have learnt a lot about my condition/myself through the sites in these few short months.Now i'am not sure what else i seek and seem drawn and confused towards these sites

I just did'nt click with most on the other forums so have joined here,please feel free to fire any questions,comments,experiences,spd or not all welcome to speak.

Cashmere,keeping the warmth in and the cold out.

ADDrus
04-16-08, 09:09 PM
Hi Cashmere,

Welcome to the site! I hope you find the answers you are seeking. I'm also on this voyage of discovery called life. Didn't know it came with so many bumps!

cashmere
04-17-08, 03:24 AM
Hi Cashmere,

Welcome to the site! I hope you find the answers you are seeking. I'm also on this voyage of discovery called life. Didn't know it came with so many bumps!

Thanks for your reply ADDrus,I'am sure the membership on site will try to make your voyage as smooth as humanly possible.Cashmere keeping the warmth in and the cold out.

Bluerose
04-17-08, 06:08 AM
cashmere,

Yeah, people tend to disappear when they realise how little we intend to invest in the relationship. Thankfully, I enjoy my own company so that side of things never bothered me much. And I'm the oldest of five, so there is always someone around when I'm in the mood for socialising.

I'm on a few other sites too, some I can talk about my stuff on and some I don't. It's good to share with people who understand what you are about, it helps us to put our stuff into perspective. And there is also the support when we are not feeling so good and think no one else would understand that all we need sometimes is just to voice the problem - better out than in I say.

Once again, welcome. Feel free to share anything you are comfortable with.

cashmere
04-17-08, 10:10 AM
cashmere,

Yeah, people tend to disappear when they realise how little we intend to invest in the relationship. Thankfully, I enjoy my own company so that side of things never bothered me much. And I'm the oldest of five, so there is always someone around when I'm in the mood for socialising.

I'm on a few other sites too, some I can talk about my stuff on and some I don't. It's good to share with people who understand what you are about, it helps us to put our stuff into perspective. And there is also the support when we are not feeling so good and think no one else would understand that all we need sometimes is just to voice the problem - better out than in I say.

Once again, welcome. Feel free to share anything you are comfortable with.


Thanks Bluerose i have been to therapy today and mentioned to my therapist about walking with my head held low.Strangely somebody's just posted a thread on a another forum site about this.I replied telling them about the time i tried wearing sunglasses,it was fine up to the point when winter arrived.It started snowing and all the local kids started throwing snowballs at me i ended up looking like a schizoid snowman.On a more serious note ,my therapist thought low confidence along with a few other causes were at the root of the problem.

Cashmere keeping the warmth in and the cold out.

Bluerose
04-17-08, 04:06 PM
I must admit I like sunglasses too. We don't get much sun but being older seems to give me a free pass. You can get tinted ones that should be okay to wear in the winter. When I was younger I worried so much about how I was coming across to other people it affected my confidence a lot. But as time went by I got more and more fed up with the way I was feeling that I decided enough was enough! I put in some work and took back control of my life. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

dotan
04-17-08, 05:09 PM
hi there and wellcom
i think the add tribe has the largest heart on earth . you got to suffer to learn to value simple friendship and allowing anyone to be the way he is .
one thing dont go for the labeling . schizoid is just a name , not who you are . explore why you avoid humans . perhaps you had a good reason to do that and it might take time to return home . u have few good friends ... trust me they will not mind you dont show up often . i dont see them allot but we all know we can trust and help each other
peace
dotan

cashmere
04-17-08, 06:31 PM
I must admit I like sunglasses too. We don't get much sun but being older seems to give me a free pass. You can get tinted ones that should be okay to wear in the winter. When I was younger I worried so much about how I was coming across to other people it affected my confidence a lot. But as time went by I got more and more fed up with the way I was feeling that I decided enough was enough! I put in some work and took back control of my life. I look forward to reading more of your posts.


Thanks for the advice on the tinted sunglasses i will be investing in a pair quite soon.I feel speaking in general about confidence levels some males are less able here, i do however only speak for myself.I don't seem to worry about how i am coming across,but more avoiding coming across them at all,if that makes sense.

Shops are a big problem for me,especially where old eagle eye is hanging out,I encountered one today.I was in a shop looking at some consumer items ands she started to follow me around as if i was like trying to shop lift something.This is a common occurrence triggered by the schizoid look,the angry,miserable face which is like an air raid siren alerting them to my presence.

Cashmere,keeping the warmth in and the cold out.

cashmere
04-17-08, 06:50 PM
hi there and wellcom
i think the add tribe has the largest heart on earth . you got to suffer to learn to value simple friendship and allowing anyone to be the way he is .
one thing dont go for the labeling . schizoid is just a name , not who you are . explore why you avoid humans . perhaps you had a good reason to do that and it might take time to return home . u have few good friends ... trust me they will not mind you dont show up often . i dont see them allot but we all know we can trust and help each other
peace
dotan

Thanks for the kind words Dotan,its nice to know there are friends here,I do not have any away from the site.When i was young and growing up my friends were trees,animals,buildings,places and imaginary ones that didn't exist.Eventually when i thought i had some they betrayed me,so i eliminated them using there own methods/ways.That was a good 30 years ago,you and the other forum members are the first people other then close family i have spoken with since.

Cashmere keeping the warmth in and the cold out.

ADDrus
04-17-08, 08:57 PM
well Cashmere, welcome home and I can so relate to those friend betrayals. My best buddy in high school turned on me when the chips were down. Ratted me out for a prank we pulled together and lets just say the police were not to happy to be made fools of. So now I sit, a "threat" to national security 25 yrs later and not allowed to take my kids to Disneyland or enter the US for any reason. People can really let you down.

cashmere
04-18-08, 03:09 AM
well Cashmere, welcome home and I can so relate to those friend betrayals. My best buddy in high school turned on me when the chips were down. Ratted me out for a prank we pulled together and lets just say the police were not to happy to be made fools of. So now I sit, a "threat" to national security 25 yrs later and not allowed to take my kids to Disneyland or enter the US for any reason. People can really let you down.

Just be glad your not still at high school ADDrus,your best friend is you,sorry about you not being able to enter the U.S.A.What about Disneyland in France for the kids.

Cashmere keeping the warmth in and the cold out.

ADDrus
04-18-08, 06:35 PM
Yes well, If you're still in high school, I feel for you. It's a tough time. I moved cultures in grade 10. So everything changed and it was really a bad time for me. I don't blame anything I did on anyone else. I made my choices and now I live with them. I also can stand tall with my resulting decisions and actions and know I did my best and I stood by my friends. I never let myself down. You may be having issues, but you're young and you have an idea of what's up so you can can use this information going forward to carve out a better life for you. Lots of people spend years and years before they figure out that anything is wrong. Some people, like my wife, spend years actively refusing to believe there is anything wrong and this poisons everything in their lives.

EuroDisney is an option, though the point was that I can't enter the US for any reason. As a Canadian it has a huge impact on your life.

cashmere
04-18-08, 07:28 PM
Yes well, If you're still in high school, I feel for you. It's a tough time. I moved cultures in grade 10. So everything changed and it was really a bad time for me. I don't blame anything I did on anyone else. I made my choices and now I live with them. I also can stand tall with my resulting decisions and actions and know I did my best and I stood by my friends. I never let myself down. You may be having issues, but you're young and you have an idea of what's up so you can can use this information going forward to carve out a better life for you. Lots of people spend years and years before they figure out that anything is wrong. Some people, like my wife, spend years actively refusing to believe there is anything wrong and this poisons everything in their lives.

EuroDisney is an option, though the point was that I can't enter the US for any reason. As a Canadian it has a huge impact on your life.

Listen ADDrus this brit left his high school days behind him a long time along,my sons are grown up and probably glad they left theres behind to.Friday is the start of my drink program so if i become a little odd you know its the 20 pints plus stuff.Come to England instead and see the best football in the world.Listen i have a book for you to read,its called funny money about a guy who forged twentys,you will love it,promise.The man in question Stephen Jury.Cashmere drinking while typing.

ADDrus
04-18-08, 07:37 PM
Sorry Cashmere, didn't mean to offend!!!

I would love to sit and sip a pint of Guinness with you and enjoy a good game of football. I used to play it growing up and was a fair goaltender in my day.

Funny Money it is then. I'll see if I can track down a copy.

Enjoy your draft and tip one back for me, mate!

cashmere
04-18-08, 07:52 PM
Sorry Cashmere, didn't mean to offend!!!

I would love to sit and sip a pint of Guinness with you and enjoy a good game of football. I used to play it growing up and was a fair goaltender in my day.

Funny Money it is then. I'll see if I can track down a copy.

Enjoy your draft and tip one back for me, mate!

Listen ADDrus no offense just DEFENSE LOLS,Listen my missus keeps me out better then the England goalkeeper.Funny money gives me the fibe of you living or have lived life on the edge.You will never laugh more in your life from this book ,promise.Cashmere keeping on drinking to much ale.

cashmere
04-22-08, 09:51 AM
I must admit I like sunglasses too. We don't get much sun but being older seems to give me a free pass. You can get tinted ones that should be okay to wear in the winter. When I was younger I worried so much about how I was coming across to other people it affected my confidence a lot. But as time went by I got more and more fed up with the way I was feeling that I decided enough was enough! I put in some work and took back control of my life. I look forward to reading more of your posts.


Bluerose i have been giving your suggestion about the tinted sunglasse's more thought today.These schizoid look's are frightening all the shopper's,I am going to buy some tint's,if i wear, them when i go out daily how will this effect my eyesight,Bluerose,anyone please advise.What make should i purchase,how much would i expect to pay.There's nothing wrong with my eyesight but there is with the way i look,please answer,anyone.

I'am off to the alcohol clinic in a couple of day's time,I had my first double rum at six years of age.I have drank for over 30 years not knowing this condition was part of the problem.Six years of age sure pull the other one you might think,let me explain.

My parents ran a big drafty old pub on the edge of the moor,in winter time when i woke, my teeth would chatter through the extreme cold.To combat this my mother would drag me across to the optics and despense a double rum which would be downed in one.One morning a schoolteacher pulled me over as i wobbled into school,you have been drinking she said as i returned the answer to her question.Which was why are you walking as if you are drunk.

I binge drink over four days,drink in my life has screwed alot of things up employment,friendships,relationships the whole works broke down when the big monkey spanner got thrown in. I gave up smoking but giving up booze is like some people giving up sex,when there in there prime.I could'nt begin to explain some of the most horrific experiences I/others have suffered through my drink problem.I once fell 20 metres off the top of a building,and only sustained a fractured wrist and some concussion.

Cashmere keeping the neat rum in and the cold and smoke out.

cashmere
05-02-08, 09:21 AM
I've been in therapy for about six month's now and feel like i'am going around in circle's,I feel like it's a complete waste of time.Is that a defeatest way out or do i just need to take a break/breather for a little while.

How have others responded to simular circumstances/conditions,they cannot cure this schizoid condition,but some things are suppose to help,but what?

ADDrus
05-05-08, 10:55 PM
Hi Cashmere, I think you should stick it out if you can. I was in with one of my therapists today and we were talking about the treatment for BPD and NPD. He suggested that it takes about 5 years for changes to take place.

Have you spoken with your T about your concerns?

The problem I have with "taking a break" is most people don't go back. If you truly want to make positive changes, it's going to take work. Hell I've been in therapy now since Oct 07, that is almost 8 months and I don't even have a diagnosable condition, with the exception of maybe co-Dependant. So I'm thinking 6 months for you is probably just scratching the surface.

cashmere
05-06-08, 10:27 AM
Hi Cashmere, I think you should stick it out if you can. I was in with one of my therapists today and we were talking about the treatment for BPD and NPD. He suggested that it takes about 5 years for changes to take place.

Have you spoken with your T about your concerns?

The problem I have with "taking a break" is most people don't go back. If you truly want to make positive changes, it's going to take work. Hell I've been in therapy now since Oct 07, that is almost 8 months and I don't even have a diagnosable condition, with the exception of maybe co-Dependant. So I'm thinking 6 months for you is probably just scratching the surface.

Thanks for your reply ADDrus There is another slight concern.I'am male she's female just a year between us,and am not sure for certain if theres a little spark trying to ignite something.

Being schizoid things can become a little confusing and the imagination starts to run out of control.Hostility is starting to creep in,her mannerism's are changing quicker then the colours of the rainbow.If i'am not reading the indian signs this could be part of the problem.

I've got a sixth sense about some things,a little hidden alarm bell that goes off inside my head warning me,its starting to ring really loud.I have started to plan how to rid myself of this therapist,she's definatly going to be eliminated in true schizoid fashion,SORRY.

Is it me or the schitzodism at work,shes has come in real close to me a couple of times,when like filling forms,telephones me when i might be expecting some decision,stuff like that.I'am weak where women are concerned,especially if temptation is on the agenda.So i am turning up this week with a gameplan to start introducing little eccentricities,steer the ship to calmer waters.Whats happening here ADDrus is this chick getting interested or is it the schizodism.

Bluerose
05-06-08, 09:39 PM
It wouldn’t be fair to say it’s just the disorder. I think the drink must play a big part here. I think your reality has become distorted and nothing is going to change until you get some serious help to stop drinking. I’m concerned, if you are on medication it can be quite dangerous if you are also drinking alcohol.

ADDrus
05-07-08, 02:27 AM
I don't know, she may have a thing for you, or it could be cognative distortions. Lord knows they play havoc with my wifes BPD and NPD. I'm male and my T is female. I like her, it actually helps make me more relaxed. No tension or anything between us and we seem to be able to talk. Big change over me and my wife I might add :)

Bottom line is that you should be able to bring up anything with your T and I mean anything. They may challange your thinking, but if there's even a chance she might have a thing for you, she should be professional and set you up with another T.

You need to talk to her straight out about it, clear the air and move on to the next level. Don't beat around the bush or play any games, striaght out with it. All or nothing, you've got nothing to lose.

cashmere
05-07-08, 03:01 AM
It wouldnít be fair to say itís just the disorder. I think the drink must play a big part here. I think your reality has become distorted and nothing is going to change until you get some serious help to stop drinking. Iím concerned, if you are on medication it can be quite dangerous if you are also drinking alcohol.

Thanks for the reply Bluerose,I have been to the alcohol team and been assessed, and i am waiting for a follow up appointment.

They will not prescribe medication because of the drinking,theres very few schizoids taking medication who feel its benificial to there condition.

cashmere
05-07-08, 03:14 AM
I don't know, she may have a thing for you, or it could be cognative distortions. Lord knows they play havoc with my wifes BPD and NPD. I'm male and my T is female. I like her, it actually helps make me more relaxed. No tension or anything between us and we seem to be able to talk. Big change over me and my wife I might add :)

Bottom line is that you should be able to bring up anything with your T and I mean anything. They may challange your thinking, but if there's even a chance she might have a thing for you, she should be professional and set you up with another T.

You need to talk to her straight out about it, clear the air and move on to the next level. Don't beat around the bush or play any games, striaght out with it. All or nothing, you've got nothing to lose.

Thanks ADDrus i dont think i'am brave enough to front this with the T,so my gameplan is go in this week if the atmosphere does'nt change i'am out of there.

Part of the condition with spd is to withdraw away from people,I have had other T/S before and had to bury them at sea.I do put them down gently no high drama just a quite exit.

Bluerose
05-07-08, 07:59 PM
I’m also dealing with a schizoid personality disorder and I sympathies with you, it must be difficult trying to get help with the drinking problem when all we really want to do is push everyone away and be left to get on with it in our own way. It is really hard coping with this alone but I was determined to do just that. Reading about the disorder and gaining as much information as I could helped me a lot. I’m not on meds either but I can ask for them if and when I feel the need. We really are a funny bunch, we need so much help and yet we refuse it. It’s a long lonely road if we insist on going it alone. I wish you so much luck with your journey. The secret is to take small steps, conquer one thing at a time. And don’t expect miracles. Good luck to you.

ADDrus
05-08-08, 12:12 AM
ok, clearly not a disorder I'm familiar with :)

How about trying to address the fear of addressing the issue. Seems that might be a starting point. Why would you fear bringing it up? Not to say you shouldn't be afraid, but allowing your fears to control you isn't healthy either. What is the worst thing that could happen? You address it, your wrong and you feel embarrassed and it destroyers the relationship and you move to a new T or you're right and you move to a new T or you bug out without knowing and move to a new T.

Best case scenario, you conquer a fear and gain personal growth.

In the bigger picture, this interaction with your T is meaningless. A year from now it will be forgotten. For now, you have an opportunity for personal growth it's just a question of opening the door. "Nothing ventured, Nothing gained"

If I'm completely off base, blame it on my ignorance and forgive me, I only have the best intension's for you, but I really don't know much about your disorder.

cashmere
05-08-08, 02:56 AM
Iím also dealing with a schizoid personality disorder and I sympathies with you, it must be difficult trying to get help with the drinking problem when all we really want to do is push everyone away and be left to get on with it in our own way. It is really hard coping with this alone but I was determined to do just that. Reading about the disorder and gaining as much information as I could helped me a lot. Iím not on meds either but I can ask for them if and when I feel the need. We really are a funny bunch, we need so much help and yet we refuse it. Itís a long lonely road if we insist on going it alone. I wish you so much luck with your journey. The secret is to take small steps, conquer one thing at a time. And donít expect miracles. Good luck to you.

Thanks Bluerose for this post i no how difficult sometimes it is,just to try and fight back against the spd.Your right it is a lonely road i think a lot of the younger element on some of the other forums might not be schizoid.I am approaching the big 50 so have lived a long time with this condition before being diagnosed.

The experience's which i have lived through don't always match what has been written on the condition.Just like if you read a report in the newspaper saying what a fantastic performance x-group gave at last nights concert,you were there and walked out half way through.

The drinking has been like a demon in my life,caused me so many problems there would not be enough time left on earth to report them.Its definitely the spd that has orchestrated the drink patterns in my life and a few other little things besides.

I 've found there seems to be splitting of the schizoids type,like the Overt/Covert charts by Salmon Acktar.A lot of the schizoids rubbish what this guy is saying,but he has me bang on.I'd say i am the covert type with a few of the overt manifestations thrown in for good measure.A lot of the other schizoids seem overt by what they speak about,this throws me sideways a little.

Recently on another forum somebody wrote about a double schizoid romantic relationship.If that can't succeed what can i thought to myself when reading about it.Imagine meeting someone of the opposite sex who you form a romantic relationship with,would it be like two twins who think and act alike.I wonder.

cashmere
05-08-08, 03:09 AM
ok, clearly not a disorder I'm familiar with :)

How about trying to address the fear of addressing the issue. Seems that might be a starting point. Why would you fear bringing it up? Not to say you shouldn't be afraid, but allowing your fears to control you isn't healthy either. What is the worst thing that could happen? You address it, your wrong and you feel embarrassed and it destroyers the relationship and you move to a new T or you're right and you move to a new T or you bug out without knowing and move to a new T.

Best case scenario, you conquer a fear and gain personal growth.

In the bigger picture, this interaction with your T is meaningless. A year from now it will be forgotten. For now, you have an opportunity for personal growth it's just a question of opening the door. "Nothing ventured, Nothing gained"

If I'm completely off base, blame it on my ignorance and forgive me, I only have the best intension's for you, but I really don't know much about your disorder.

Thanks for your reply ADDrus your right about the fear factor,facing up to things being brave confronting the issue's.

Usually i sidestep try to move around what stands infront of my flightpath,and have to admit this is probably what i am aiming for with the T.

Luckly she has cancelled this weeks appointment so have more time to think and gather my thoughts,some breathing space.Therapy sometimes can have a negative effect with the spd condition.Glad to hear your climbing some of your mountains.

Bluerose
05-08-08, 01:44 PM
See maybe that's where you are going wrong. I don't fight it. I used to fight it but it was so exhausting. One day I just thought, f*** it I don't care if I'm going crazy, I can't do this anymore. Then I waited for the sky to fall. It didn't, and I have been going with the flow ever since.

That might not work for everyone but it helped me a lot. I read about it and how best to cope with it and just accepted it. And strangely enough things did get better. I can still have bad spells but I try to just ride them knowing they won't last long. And if it does drag on, I might decide to go on meds for a while.

I'm older too and have been dealing with it a long time. I try to pass on information but you know the young ones, been there done that seen it all. Bless them.

No mine didn't always match either, so I found just taking on board what I thought would help me personally was the way to go. Keeping a journal helped me understand what was going on with me, and I just worked to deal with that.

I went through a drinking problem in the 80s, I was working nights and out lunchtime drinking and not sleeping, not a good combination. The drink definitely made things worse, I had mates while I was drinking but it was just the drink. I was divorced in 1990 and that was the beginning of my recovery. I cope quite well today, older and wiser and less stress and pressure helps me cope better.

Sorry, I'm not familiar with 'Overt/Covert charts' by Salmon Acktar.

I really don't see a schizoid/schizoid relationship working any better than a schizoid/normal relationships. A lot of it is to do with what is going on in our head and our moods. Even two people with the same disorder wouldn't be having the same mental activity or the same moods at the same time. I think it would be horrendous. I only managed to remained married for twenty years because my guy put my stuff down to my upbringing and my father's suicide. It wasn't until much later that I was diagnosed.

I hope you find a place within yourself that allows you to work on improving your situation. You can begin by not beating yourself up anymore for the past. The past is gone. Work now to make your future better, be nice to yourself, treat yourself to a little gift. Grow with the experience and let the future unfold.

cashmere
05-08-08, 02:38 PM
See maybe that's where you are going wrong. I don't fight it. I used to fight it but it was so exhausting. One day I just thought, f*** it I don't care if I'm going crazy, I can't do this anymore. Then I waited for the sky to fall. It didn't, and I have been going with the flow ever since.

That might not work for everyone but it helped me a lot. I read about it and how best to cope with it and just accepted it. And strangely enough things did get better. I can still have bad spells but I try to just ride them knowing they won't last long. And if it does drag on, I might decide to go on meds for a while.

I'm older too and have been dealing with it a long time. I try to pass on information but you know the young ones, been there done that seen it all. Bless them.

No mine didn't always match either, so I found just taking on board what I thought would help me personally was the way to go. Keeping a journal helped me understand what was going on with me, and I just worked to deal with that.

I went through a drinking problem in the 80s, I was working nights and out lunchtime drinking and not sleeping, not a good combination. The drink definitely made things worse, I had mates while I was drinking but it was just the drink. I was divorced in 1990 and that was the beginning of my recovery. I cope quite well today, older and wiser and less stress and pressure helps me cope better.

Sorry, I'm not familiar with 'Overt/Covert charts' by Salmon Acktar.

I really don't see a schizoid/schizoid relationship working any better than a schizoid/normal relationships. A lot of it is to do with what is going on in our head and our moods. Even two people with the same disorder wouldn't be having the same mental activity or the same moods at the same time. I think it would be horrendous. I only managed to remained married for twenty years because my guy put my stuff down to my upbringing and my father's suicide. It wasn't until much later that I was diagnosed.

I hope you find a place within yourself that allows you to work on improving your situation. You can begin by not beating yourself up anymore for the past. The past is gone. Work now to make your future better, be nice to yourself, treat yourself to a little gift. Grow with the experience and let the future unfold.

My father commited suicide to Bluerose so i no where your coming from,if we swapped pasts here they would probably be simular.

I have only recently been diagnosed with spd about six months ago,so am still a little bit like the boy in the sweet shop.

Since i was told about the spd other things around me have begun to change,I will speak again on this matter.

Bluerose
05-09-08, 03:29 AM
"Since i was told about the spd other things around me have begun to change,I will speak again on this matter."

I look forward to it.

cashmere
05-09-08, 10:36 AM
"Since i was told about the spd other things around me have begun to change,I will speak again on this matter."

I look forward to it.

They have changed for me to.

We will swap our changes soon.

cashmere
05-27-08, 07:12 PM
Went to see the therapist a fortnight ago and am due back in a couple of days.As i have mentioned in earlier posts the relationship is on the point of collapse.

Its looking as though i may have to takeover the reigns for a while,like the old saying goes if You want something doing do it yourself.

I have felt better not going but thats the schizoid condition for you.Have got the sunglasses now look like terminator in them.I'LL BE BACK!

CASHMERE WANTING TO KEEP WARM IN THE CHILL OF THE NIGHT.

reesah
06-04-08, 05:58 AM
Hi cashmere just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing!

Bluerose
06-04-08, 07:58 AM
Same here, I was wondering how you've been. I suffered a small set back but things are looking up once again. I hope you're well. Take care.

cashmere
06-05-08, 03:00 PM
Hi cashmere just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing!

Thanks for your post Reesah lifes throwing its usual ackward situations at me,I have a shocking sore head from last nights drinking session.

I had not been to the pub since new years day,the weather was so nice thought well to hell with it.

The pubs were empty which was great being a schizoid,and was travelling home on the late bus as the only passenger in other words the schizoid bus.

By the way love that picture its amazing what a little eroticism can do to awaken and rekindle the spirit.

cashmere
06-05-08, 03:14 PM
Same here, I was wondering how you've been. I suffered a small set back but things are looking up once again. I hope you're well. Take care.

Thanks Bluerose its appreciated you enquiring about my well being,please would you accept this redrose as a great big thankyou.

I'am glad things are improving for you Bluerose you deserve some happiness,last time we spoke you were going through a rough patch.

I've been through those phases when they suddenly take control and absorb all are energies leaving us weak and vunerable.

Well done for being strong and keep smiling.

reesah
06-06-08, 12:38 AM
I love the bus late at night too, it's better when there's nobody else on it ;)

cashmere
06-17-08, 08:06 AM
I'am due to move out of my home next week,but window fitters are due to fit new windows here tomorrow and can't be cancelled" PAINS".

I would really like to move a small caravan on to a remote patch of land near to the sea.The local authorities would'nt allow this and say i could only stay at a disignated site,either short or long stay.

With that scenario would end up being swamped by sugar borrowers and histrionics,this would plunge my already damaged mind into even greater turmoil.

Everywhere i have lived have encountered noisy anti-social dimwits,I no longer want to be surrounded by people which make me SICK.A small two birth van with just the basics inside i don't want five star just peace and plenty of space.

Its not going to happen due to democracy so will start another period of searching for a place to keep the spd at a tolerable level if thats possible which it probably is'nt.

Hows everybody elses condition effected there place of residence and how do you feel towards others.

No replys, crys,lies or sighs just me who just dies!

CASHMERE LOSING HIS OUTER COAT FEELING THE PAIN JUST ALL OF THE SAME.:):cool::mad:

reesah
06-19-08, 07:34 PM
I live in a duplex, I have only one neighbor right that I know. he is a bit strange as well so it is fine, we leave each other alone but say hello nicely when we are both in our gardens (doesn't happen often)

It is heaven right now, for me, to not have neighbors. I don't like people that live next to me, knowing me or that- I want to be left alone when I am at home- I wish I could afford to buy a big chunk of land by the ocean and live in the center of it, with no neighbors...