I started seeing a new pdoc lady who is also a nurse practitioner. I've always found it hard to notice when I am slipping down the slope towards depression. Mine don't tend to be no eat/poor sleep/life crashing down depressions. Mine tend to be slow slips into wanting to fall asleep and never wake up, even though I am still able to episodically find pleasure in things.

This pdoc suggested that I really try to identify the process of thought patterns that herald a shift in moods for me. To my amazement, as soon as I started to focus on it, I found that 1) it's usually preceded by the onset of my luteal phase (PMS), and 2) the thoughts are always about being a loser and a failure. Of course, having ADD gives me many reasons to feel like a failure, but when I am not depressed (or only mildly, which is my normal), it doesn't bother me that much.

When I start sliding down, it seems the center of who I am. Then I feel like another 30 or 40 years in this world is interminably long -- it seems awful to think of having to go on that long, even though I never have the urge to actually harm myself. It's more like the restless feeling that you get when you're watching a boring show with your kid to make them happy but you can't WAIT to get outta there.

Anyone else have specific things that help you know you're in need of fighting back the beast?

In my book, keeping a mood journal is one of the best ways to help with recognition. You will really see deeper patterns and might be able to catch yourself before something major happens.

- When Activities you normally enjoy don't interest me nearly as much.
- When I go to bed despite being really tired falling asleep doesn't seem to be worth the effort. (I struggle to sleep and have to force my mind to not think of interesting things).
- When I wonder whats the point of activites I do without thinking about it.
- When I feel sad, fairly obvious though.
- When I'll read through posts and have something I want to say but don't because it takes too much effort.
- I get more depressed when I don't sleep well (not always). Than I don't sleep as well and the cycle continues.

Im sure their more.

I started seeing a new pdoc lady who is also a nurse practitioner. I've always found it hard to notice when I am slipping down the slope towards depression. Mine don't tend to be no eat/poor sleep/life crashing down depressions. Mine tend to be slow slips into wanting to fall asleep and never wake up, even though I am still able to episodically find pleasure in things.

This pdoc suggested that I really try to identify the process of thought patterns that herald a shift in moods for me. To my amazement, as soon as I started to focus on it, I found that 1) it's usually preceded by the onset of my luteal phase (PMS), and 2) the thoughts are always about being a loser and a failure. Of course, having ADD gives me many reasons to feel like a failure, but when I am not depressed (or only mildly, which is my normal), it doesn't bother me that much.

When I start sliding down, it seems the center of who I am. Then I feel like another 30 or 40 years in this world is interminably long -- it seems awful to think of having to go on that long, even though I never have the urge to actually harm myself. It's more like the restless feeling that you get when you're watching a boring show with your kid to make them happy but you can't WAIT to get outta there.

Anyone else have specific things that help you know you're in need of fighting back the beast?

I've found that keeping a daily journal or log helps you to identify patterns and figure out when you need help. Even just jotting down a few sentences is really helpful. Misplacing my journal or forgetting to write stuff down can sometimes be a problem though. :rolleyes: But it sounds like you've got it figured out. Maybe you could see a therapist every month during that luteal phase. Or you could enlist a close friend to help you out during those times.

The mind is tricky. It may start with the distraction of a perfectly appropriate task that you become hyperfocused on or a succession of tasks. We feel like a failure for getting sidetracked and behind on more important stuff. Then we are even more reticent to take on that stuff. Avoidance and paralysis may set in. Depression seems to be the end result ... a way that the mind seems to adopt to "protect" itself.

- When Activities you normally enjoy don't interest me nearly as much.
- When I go to bed despite being really tired falling asleep doesn't seem to be worth the effort. (I struggle to sleep and have to force my mind to not think of interesting things).
- When I wonder whats the point of activites I do without thinking about it.
- When I feel sad, fairly obvious though.
- When I'll read through posts and have something I want to say but don't because it takes too much effort.
- I get more depressed when I don't sleep well (not always). Than I don't sleep as well and the cycle continues.

Im sure their more.

Pretty much this is me too. Thank you for posting it.