Ugh I am so frustrated.

My doctor won't give me antidepressants without a mood stabilizer. I like Lamictal but I just found this huge monster zit on my back, which I have never had before in my life. I want LAmictal to work so I can get something to make me feel better, but almost ALL of these mood stabilizers have done something to mess up my appearance. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm a beauty queen, but with basic clear skin and okay hair I won't stand out or make anybody cringe. I just hate acne on my body, I mean I'm 34 years old for goodness sake.

I just want to feel better, crud, is that so wrong? (Insert long string of self-pity statements here, ad nauseum). Why can't these medicines work without making us trade in so much else? Ticked off.

Why can't life just be simple for once?

Just thought I'd share . . .

I hear ya!! I haven't had those side effects, but I'm having major med problems right now as well. I would not take a med that gave me acne and screwed up my appearance. However, that's not as bad as the alternative of no meds and the emotional torment because of that. I won't touch an antidepressant after major disasters from wellbutrin, zoloft & serzone, but I understand wanting one just to try and have a break from the depression (wellbutrin mania was fun for me!).

I was okayish until I had to go off Seroquel due to elevated prolactin. Can't take Abilify or Risperdal either, refuse to try Zyprexa, so there aren't anymore atypical antipsychotics left to calm me down.

I have been so agitated and spent all of last week not sleeping at all. I called my psychiatrist on Sunday and he called in an emergency prescription of Xanax. Well-- it makes me depressed, confused & uncoordinated so there's no way in heck I can function while taking it. If I didn't have to be alert and coordinated for my job, I wouldn't mind; however, it's impossible for me to walk dogs and be all messed up on Xanax. I take Lamictal but am only up to 75mg. after 3 months because it makes me really confused and hyper when I increase the dose and it takes a while for me to adjust.

I am seriously going off the deep end and I think I'm probably working myself up to a stay in the psych ward. Two people have told me this week that I need to go to the hospital. I'm trying like heck to avoid it, but I'm barely surviving right now.

ADHDdogwalker,

Sorry life is messing with you too.

I think I had an anxiety attack this morning and I had to call into work because my muscles were vibrating and I kept feeling like I was about to barf or pass out. I can't take any of the benzo's or such because I can't stay awake when I take them, and I can sleep fine all by myself. I need to be able to function, and usually I can shut off whatever crazy-valve needs shutting for me to function well enough to take care of my responsibilities. So this morning was a bum ride for me.

I couldn't take Zyprexa either. Being way fat (which has happened to everyone I know who's taken it) would depress me far more than I am right now. Not to be mean to anyone who is overweight, but I'm sensitive about it because I've been larger before and I hated how I felt.

Don't know what to do except pray, which I think basically is what is keeping me from giving up and saying "sc-a-reeeeew it all" right now.

Amiegrace,

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you right now. Fortunately, I'm going to the psychiatrist tomorrow evening so I'm hoping he will be able to give me something that will actually work. Each day feels like a constant anxiety attack. I am so frustrated and stressed that breathing and not flipping out takes every ounce of my strength. I have never been closer to losing it completely and I am so scared that I will hurt myself or someone else (I'm spunky naturally but never, ever violent/aggressive because it's just not my personality). Existing has never been more difficult. I keep telling myselfd that if I get to a point where I'm losing all control, I'm taking myself to the hospital. That is the last thing I want to do, but it's better than the alternatives.

Hang in there, amie. I know exactly what you're going through and it's so freakin' hard.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't doctors avoid prescribing ADs to BP sufferers due to the risk of sending them manic?

They'll often prescripe ADs like Wellbutin (ones that have lowest risk of inducing mania in studies) for just a few weeks. Once the person gets out of depression they cut it off. My doctor prescriped that for me, didn't work.

One thing I've just started to try that I wouldn't recommend is Mucuna. Its some plant that increases Dopamine levels, not a good idea for people with BP. I don't have much problem with mania/hypomania just mostly depression so I figured I'd try it as I've been feeling low for a while. It has improved my mood, but I've had a harder time falling asleep. had to take l-theanine both nights in addition to my regular 5htp. I felt a tiny bit creepy last night, so I didn't take it today. That often happens if Im up late and can't fall asleep though.

I don't plan to take all the time, maybe 2-3 times a week. Thats depending on how I do, if I start to feel weird or bad nights of sleep I won't take it for a bit.