I know I have a problem with Focalin but I don't want to say anything about it to my doctor because then she would cut me off and I can't function without it. I am on a very high dose to begin with. My doctor has no reservations about prescribing high doses which in the beginning was a relief because I relly needed it. I'm ADD and bipolar and my concentration and focus was nadda, zilch, nothin'. With the focalin I could focus, finish things I started, and think clearly for the first time in a long time. It made me feel good, the whole euphoria thing was working for me and I loved it. But then the high I was getting at first started to become inconsistent. Sometimes I got it, sometimes nothin'. It was at that point that I started chasing the high by taking more than the prescribed dose. That worked for a while but I had to skip doses altogether near the end of the month so that I wouldn't run out completely before my next fill date. Skipping doses was brutal. I would be frantic and feel desperate but there was nothing I could do but suck it up and deal because I'd gone through my prescription too fast. I'd have to ration out my dose on my calendar counting out the number of pills I could take each day which was well below my prescribed dose. Then, I'd make it through to the next fill date, all the while promising myself I'd "be good" this time around and only take the prescribed amount. I wouldn't make it a day, sometimes not even the length of the car ride home from the pharmacy, before taking more than I should. And the cycle would start all over again. I have been on this rollercoaster ride for almost a year now. When I take a dose and don't feel the high, I take more. If I still don't feel it, I get irritable and depressed. And all the while I go to my psychiatrist once a week for therapy and I can't talk about the addiction and I can't talk about why I get depressed and irritable and I think to myself this is crazy! I'm paying to see someone that is supposed to help me but I can't be honest with her. I think how terribly counter productive it all is. But I can't stop.

If I can suggest something, print this out and show it to your doc or therapist. That way you don't have to say anything. You can just show them. And the post will tell them everything you can't.

It has always been easier for me to write my thoughts down rather than speak them. For some reason, it seems less vulnerable to show someone what I have written, maybe because if I were to speak aloud whats really going on in my head I would fall apart in an emotional wreck and I don't like to do that. I don't like to cry in front of people.

Either way, I wish you luck. I can't imagine this has been an easy year for you.

Thank you for your suggestion, I really appreciate what you said and your support. Thanks for writing to me!
Jackers:D

ever thought of switching to adderrall XR?

....it's time released.

I don't fare well with ritilin, I understand.

Well, I was wondering about adderrall... but I think I tried it a long long time ago and didn't feel like it did much to help my ADD. I had the same idea about the time release being less intense but still effective so I switched 2 weeks ago from regular focalin to focalin xr (extended release). Didn't help much, I'm still chasing that high. I had a new fill just 1 week ago and I'm already rationing. This is going to be a rough month to get through.

Thanks for the idea, though.

Focalin is surprisingly addictive and abusable for me.

Ask the doctor for Daytrana or Strattera, something lacking abuse liability, that may help.

Adderall is very powerful and rushy. I had euphoria the first dose. (Which stopped, thank god.)

I think that would be a bad idea. Why not Dexedrine? That is a smooth, quiet drug and not rushy.

Adderall is very powerful and rushy. I had euphoria the first dose. (Which stopped, thank god.)

I think that would be a bad idea. Why not Dexedrine? That is a smooth, quiet drug and not rushy.

I will look into Dexedrine, Daytrana, and Strattera. I just don't know that I can quit. I'm so altered by the focalin. I feel happy, confident, productive, social, clear headed, all the things being depressed keeps me from feeling on my own without the focalin. I feel like my depression worsens when I'm coming down from a focalin dose. This, of course, makes me want to take more. I don't want to go back to being depressed full time. Someone recently suggested I try accupuncture (sp?) for my depression. What did you mean when you said you experienced euphoria (with adderall) but it stopped. You kept taking adderall and it didn't have that effect after a while?

Anyway, thank you to you and sickle for writing to me.
Jackers

Jackers,
I was just wondering if you have talked with your doc about any of this yet? Maybe even a pharmacist could help you out. S/he could let you know what you can do to help with the come down of the focalin or what alternatives may work for you. I have heard that the pharmacist can know more about the medication and side effects than some of the doctors. Just a thought. Hope your hanging in there.

No, I haven't talked to my doctor about any of this yet. On another thread I posted a request for advice on the possibility that I have developed a tolerance for focalin and someone asked what my dose was. I wrote back with my current dosage and people wrote back saying it was really high, maybe too high. So now I'm not sure what to think about my doc. I have trust issues with doctors ever since I had one really bad experience with one so I try to be cautious when they make recommendations or prescribe certain treatments. I try to be as informed as I can be. And, although I am clearly not demonstrating good judgement when it comes to taking my focalin, it never occurred to me to be concerned about the dose I was prescribed.

Tried Focalin XR. Know what you mean. Over several months I: switched to Strattera (no results), then Focalin XR with Strattera, then Strattera with Wellbutrin (only a little while), then Vyvanse (the latest stimulant from the makers of Adderall XR).

The Vyvanse is great. I take it at 30 mg/day in the am with 20 mg of Lexapro for depression/anxiety. Wonderful, steady, extended combination that appears to provide all the results you want without the highs and lows you have issues with.

I don't know whether your Focalin XR misdosing will have had permanent effects on your brain or not. Check out the literature on that.

In the meantime, if you can't tell your pdoc, go to Narcotics Anonymous or AA by all means. You are powerless trying to manage this by yourself. It'll only get worse on many more Life fronts for you if you don't get face-to-face, proven help.

Keep us posted on your progress please ... promise?

I am open to trying new things so I will look into Vyvanse, but I have heard so many mixed reviews on it here on ADD Forums. It's effects, I guess like everything else, vary greatly from person to person. I am really glad it works for you.

I feel your pain ... The tortuous tinkering, guinea piggin', and alternative alchemies for each individual really can be a "drag."

Best of luck ... keep in touch!

I had euphoria the first dose. (Which stopped, thank god.)

I had to single it out and look at it...
.....it's a foriegn thought to me....."thank God the euphoria stopped"

hmmmmm. that's an intresting mindset. I 'm jealous....


..............I'm sorry jackers, I don't mean to highack your thread...

can I ask, queenUgirl, ....why don't you want euphoria?

.....just so I know why I don't want it.

or what can I tell myself, when I crave euphoria.

Tried Focalin XR. Know what you mean. Over several months I: switched to Strattera (no results), then Focalin XR with Strattera, then Strattera with Wellbutrin (only a little while), then Vyvanse (the latest stimulant from the makers of Adderall XR).

The Vyvanse is great. I take it at 30 mg/day in the am with 20 mg of Lexapro for depression/anxiety. Wonderful, steady, extended combination that appears to provide all the results you want without the highs and lows you have issues with.

I don't know whether your Focalin XR misdosing will have had permanent effects on your brain or not. Check out the literature on that.

In the meantime, if you can't tell your pdoc, go to Narcotics Anonymous or AA by all means. You are powerless trying to manage this by yourself. It'll only get worse on many more Life fronts for you if you don't get face-to-face, proven help.

Keep us posted on your progress please ... promise?





Excellent advice here jackers.

I wish I could offer some insight.. although I know that I struggle with the med regiment also, I have gone almost the full gambit. I do know that I could easily fall into that euphoria with the stimulant. I'm an X meth abuser. Not a good way to go ...period.

My advice... be honest.. it's the only way to really get the help we need. I found that by being honest I didn't get tossed out. however, by being covert about certain areas is the quickest way to get cut out.

good luck to ya !

Do you live with family or close friends? Someone with whom you can entrust your medication? Sometimes there's just no substitute for someone who cares about us to look out for our needs and keep us honest.

Do you live with family or close friends? Someone with whom you can entrust your medication? Sometimes there's just no substitute for someone who cares about us to look out for our needs and keep us honest.

No, I live alone. But I appreciate your advice, thanks!
Jackers

My med rationing has begun and I am really struggling to keep it together. To make it to the end of the month with some meds each day I'm now down to 20mg XR instead of my prescribed dose of 120mg. It feels like nothing at all. I have 16 days til I can get a refill.

Only you can decide if the way you are feeling now is worth the initial high you get.

You know your pattern, you identified it. Now its up to you, and you alone to choose if you will continue.

Being honest with your doc can be scary when its something like this. Admitting you have a problem to someone who can actually do something about it, means you are going to have to give up the life style you have been living the past year. Is it worth it?

I keep you in my thoughts, as I remember the stimulant struggle all too well. I am here for you.

Only you can decide if the way you are feeling now is worth the initial high you get.

You know your pattern, you identified it. Now its up to you, and you alone to choose if you will continue.

Being honest with your doc can be scary when its something like this. Admitting you have a problem to someone who can actually do something about it, means you are going to have to give up the life style you have been living the past year. Is it worth it?

I keep you in my thoughts, as I remember the stimulant struggle all too well. I am here for you.

No, you are absolutely right, it is not worth it. I'm going to try like hell to just take the prescribed dose this time around. I can't stand going through this and it is definitely not worth it. I think I will try giving my meds to my brother who lives here in town and just take a few days worth at a time. I think that would help.

Thank you for your words of wisdom! I hope you are doing well.
Jackers

Hello Jackers. I was just wondering how you are doing. Are you still rationing your meds or have you refilled your prescription? If you have gotten your refill, how is that going?
Franny

it's hard.
...I got 20 mlgrms a day till saturday....prescribed 90.

oh lawd.

I am no longer rationing, I'm back to my regular dose. Those days at only 20mg XR were brutal though. It was like being on nothing, I was a total pooh bear...completely befuddled at every turn. I really don't want to go through that again. Give me strength.

give US strength..

YES! That is what I meant...give US strength! You hang in there SuzzanneX! Saturday is just around the corner, my friend.

you can call me suzie, or suz..LOL
....I can't sleep without speed....I'm damaged.

welp, I took 40 mlgrams...
.....it's a med holiday tommorow! ....omg, I'm gonna be loopier than anyone
ever dreamed possible.

Yikes! Suz that REALLY sucks. The worst feeling in the world to me is not having any meds at all. I feel like crawling out of my skin when that happens. I've been there though, when you bargain yourself out of a whole days worth of meds by taking them in one day. I hope I never am again. You've only got 30 some odd hours left 'til Saturday, hang in there!

I'm hangin jackers...
...at least I still got valium...

not that it won't have a peridoxal effect...I'll be chaising my tail, but, patiently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GjL8oD8Yr4


OMFG! THIS IS THE MED HOLIDAY SONG! HAHAHAHAHA!

You kept taking Adderall and it didn't have that effect after a while?

If you take a medication long enough you will quit feeling it – yeppers that is a fact. This holds true even for things like morphine. You quit feeling these “euphoria” because your body adjust to the chemical.


On another thread I posted a request for advice on the possibility that I have developed a tolerance for focalin and someone asked what my dose was. I wrote back with my current dosage and people wrote back saying it was really high, maybe too high.


Say a man who hasn’t shaved his face in over twenty years decides to shave off his beard – when he first saves he gets a sensation because he is not used to being clean shaven – say the man likes the feeling he decides to shave every day. Although the “feeling” of clean shaving subsides the razor continues to remove his facial hair - he no longer “feels” the clean shaven sensation because he had grown accustom to the changes made by the use of his razor.

This same principle applies to the use of medications – which is why taking them to produce a feeling {a euphoria} is asking for trouble. The fact you do run out and have to go periods of time without taking your medication had been your saving grace but it is only prolonging the enviable it is not eliminating it.

You are taking ADD medications for the wrong reason – you are not taking them to function you are taking them to get high – the fact that you can not even be honest to those who are trying to help you means some thing is wrong – at least letting your brother help you is an attempt at reaching out Only time will tell if it is going to be enough – if it isn’t I would look to getting the medication changed to a non-stimulant or discontinued all together. This vicious cycle is not productive at all.



Try aerobic exercise for the depression - the depression avoidance is preventing you from dealing with the cause of your depression - you do realize depression is not a natural state and is often an indicator of some thing being wrong. Abusing your ADD medications to avoid dealing with your depression is about as wise as covering your check engine light with tape to avoid dealing with the engine problem - the results will be identical


I have never been depressed until recently – despite my depression and the feeling my medications were not working I did not abuse my medication instead I had to deal with this crappy feeling from Hell. Turned out I had hypothroidism = the depression was a sign some thgn was wrong and I needed to addrewss that some thing.

Now I do aerobic exercise at moderate intensity for an hour a day at least five days a week on top of my physically demanding day job plus I take a small pill every morning to keep my thyroid up to a normal level. . . . all your doing by taking more and more medication is adding to the problem that caused the depression to begin with - This depression could very well be due to the high hills and the low vallies you are putting your self through by screwing with your medication dosage like you are

Quit Casing the lie called euphoria. . . . .

Suz, that is hilarious, thanks so much for posting that video clip, it made my day.

Meadd823 you made excellent points about my Focalin use, I don’t disagree with any of it. Yes, I am well aware that abusing them as I have is not the intended use for these meds. I'm also aware that my dependency on the Focalin is likely due to depression. I appreciate your comments and your advice. :) I sort of have a plan of action and I feel optimistic about the outcome. I started exercising regularly about a month ago and I do think it is helping. I honestly haven’t felt the need to abuse my meds in several days and I intend to try like hell not to start that cycle again.
Thanks,
Jackers

HA HA HA!
...........man, that sums it up for me too!

SuzzanneX,
I love that movie!! Thanks for posting that clip

you are welcome...
...I'm serious, it got me thru a hard med holiday.

I was just busting out laughing driving down the road thinking of it.
.....It gave me many a fine endorphin to chew on.

the girl who sent it to me, is on a meth recovery board...
.....she knows med holidays too.

honestly haven’t felt the need to abuse my meds in several days and I intend to try like hell not to start that cycle again.


I am glad you are looking for ways to break the cycle and I hope it works.

Apologies if I come off a bit strong but the idea is to grab the short attention span amongst the frustration and the emotions even if the person hates me - I have found writing stuff that pi**es people off is remembered much more vividly and for a longer period of time then when I write stuff they want to hear.

I do not go around trying to irritate people {that part occurs by just having an opinion} however I see little sense beating around the bush {besides I normally get lost or distracted before I make it all the way around}

I just hate the idea of some one having to go through the crap cycle over and over - it isn't like it gets easier - I have never abused my medications but I am no stranger to substance abuse so I know the longer it goes on the more difficult it is to break the cycle.

I am glad you are stopping the cycle before you cross any lines of actual addiction.

I wish you well .. . .

No apologies needed Mead. I appreciated your comments and figure a bit of tough love is just what I need right about now. When I posted about my problem, I knew I had exposed myself to receive some harsh criticism. I do understand why my posting about my med abuse would make many people angry. But I needed to share what I was going through with the hope I would find some others in the same situation, or not, but with some words of advice. I do not resent your being honest. On the contrary, your remarks were well received.

How are things going Jackers? How is your plan of action working out (you mentioned in your response to meadd823)? Have you implemented your plan yet? Just thinking about you and hoping things are going well!
Franny

Not so good Franny, not so good. No, I plan to give my meds to my brother when he gets back in town. That will be in a few days. I feel like a failure because with all the suport and advice I've been given I really thought I could do it this time around. I don't mean to sound like a broken record. I get it, I need some help if I'm going to really get a handle on this. Luckily Zoie has provided me with some options for obtaining that support. Thanks Zoie. But stress does it to me every time. Right now I am super stressed about paper work at school and my nephew's tics.

Thanks for your concern
Jackers

Jackers,
I am glad I could be of some help to you. Remember not to be so hard on yourself. Once you develop a problem with a substance or medication its not always easy to let go. The chemicals in your brain will tell you over and over again that you NEED that substance. That you can't function or live without it. It will take time and the support from people in your life. As long as you have the desire and the will to live life with out abusing you have a strong chance of making it. Don't give up, we are here for you. I keep you in my thoughts.

Zoie

Thanks for being such a great friend and support to me, Zoie! You are EXTRAordinary my dear, don't you forget that.

When starting the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) medication Focalin®



........... each person's reaction to ADHD medication is different. If after a week, you only see a slight improvement or no improvement in ADHD symptoms, your doctor may increase the Focalin® XR dose.


This dose adjustment, called "dose titration" may occur several times, until your doctor finds the optimal dose to control your ADHD symptoms. Dose titration can also occur later on, as your needs change

Don't be discouraged if the medicine doesn't seem to be working at first.

Dose titration can lead to successful symptom control.

dose tradition eeeey?

When starting the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) medication Focalin®



........... each person's reaction to ADHD medication is different. If after a week, you only see a slight improvement or no improvement in ADHD symptoms, your doctor may increase the Focalin® XR dose.


This dose adjustment, called "dose titration" may occur several times, until your doctor finds the optimal dose to control your ADHD symptoms. Dose titration can also occur later on, as your needs change

Don't be discouraged if the medicine doesn't seem to be working at first.

Dose titration can lead to successful symptom control.

Huh? What? Whahappen? You lost me! I've titrated (is that a word?) about as far as one can go without being 2 feet underground, so I'm told. I wasn't discouraged that the meds weren't working...on the contrary they were working a little too well. Felt focused and FINE. Gotta work on just being focused now and a little less FINE, ya know?

LMAO!
...I did'nt know what this drug was, and looked it up.

your so kewl.

Jackers, dear, don't go beating yourself up...it will probably make the situation worse, right? Just pick yourself up and try, try again. And do try to find a local support system for addicts. Don't try to go it alone.
Franny