I have forgotten how the forums is cool to be able to say or write whatever i wanted. I sure missed it, i could have come back before , but i think i was into this intense intomyowncrap life all by myself.

I think at one point i was doing ok, and then the last 3 yrs have just been a continuous drive down to hell. I lost something then and i have not find it yet. But still hopefull and still looking. I say hopefull, i dont know anymore, it seems i cannot get back into life, being a mom, being a person to other people. Just being someone ...

I feel so invisible, and to be honest i think i dont care anymore, seems like there is nothing more for me to look forward too. I have been a crappy mom, in the sense of not being able to mentaly help them in their lives, very inside myself barely able to keep my head out of the water. I am tired of fighting.

It's seems that all my life as been a continous redo, or renewal of some kind. Like some people say "another chapter to my book of life". I am at volume 350, chapter 4 and i am tiredddddddd. Tired of starting over again and again. Because i have no idea , i thought i did but i realize that i do not know crapiola. I am 44 going on 250 yrs old. I look like it and i feel it. Anyone got any home made remedy for this..

How old are your kids? Are they doing well in school? Do they have friends? Do you have a daily routine... other than sitting at home?

I get tired, too... but I still have to pick myself up and keep going. I've felt better since stopping my meds...and more able to navigate again. The combination of what I was on, was literally making my msucles too weak.

Have you got a support system? Family that are supportive? Are you in counseling? Do you have a hobby, job or do any journaling?

From your post, you sound really depressed and I would suggest some counseling to talk things through. JMO, but I hope I've helped in some way.

By the way.... Happy Mother's Day!

Hello mary,

Always helping out :) . I am happy to see that some things never change :)

I was very low that night, i do feel 75% better, and i do right after i have actually exterioze ( sorry english not my language ) my feelings a little bet. Eventho, they are sometimes pretty heavy. I am on effexor for anxiety, but i am not depressed , just very emotional i guess. And it's ok to be at some point.

how are you doing Mary?

Life is what happens when we're planning ... Seek the joys you can find in every step of every day.

Welcome to ADDF fellow traveler.

Hello mary,

Always helping out :) . I am happy to see that some things never change :)

I was very low that night, i do feel 75% better, and i do right after i have actually exterioze ( sorry english not my language ) my feelings a little bet. Eventho, they are sometimes pretty heavy. I am on effexor for anxiety, but i am not depressed , just very emotional i guess. And it's ok to be at some point.

how are you doing Mary?

Hello... I'm glad I could help. How are you doing tonight?