I went "home" over the weekend and was speaking to my mother for the first time about my problems. I have a very hard time admitting to anyone how severe they are. I even think I sugar coated it a bit because the worst of it... to someone closed minded... would simply sound like I am lazy.

She was quick to blame my ex husband... who frequently called me lazy. She is more willing to believe that he is responsible for how I feel about myself than to believe that I could indeed have a problem.

I spoke to my BF, who on one hand is more open to the idea, but has negative feelings toward therapy and meds. He thinks if I have a problem, why don't I just stop? Well, for someone who doesn't have the problem, that seems easy. But for me, I can't just stop. I want to. But I can't! Not on my own anyway.

I'll be getting a new doc soon, but am thinking of just waiting until after vacation. I'm sure he'll want to see me every week at first, and I'll have to miss the week I'm away. Then again, I could just be procrastinating and making up excuses! LOL! I'm good at that. But I do wish people would take me seriously when I try to confide in them.

I went "home" over the weekend and was speaking to my mother for the first time about my problems. I have a very hard time admitting to anyone how severe they are. I even think I sugar coated it a bit because the worst of it... to someone closed minded... would simply sound like I am lazy.

She was quick to blame my ex husband... who frequently called me lazy. She is more willing to believe that he is responsible for how I feel about myself than to believe that I could indeed have a problem.

I spoke to my BF, who on one hand is more open to the idea, but has negative feelings toward therapy and meds. He thinks if I have a problem, why don't I just stop? Well, for someone who doesn't have the problem, that seems easy. But for me, I can't just stop. I want to. But I can't! Not on my own anyway.

I'll be getting a new doc soon, but am thinking of just waiting until after vacation. I'm sure he'll want to see me every week at first, and I'll have to miss the week I'm away. Then again, I could just be procrastinating and making up excuses! LOL! I'm good at that. But I do wish people would take me seriously when I try to confide in them.

I would start right away. With the explanation that you'll be gone such and such a week and schedule the next appointment for the following week. I'm sure they'll understand.

Putting it off only let's you ponder on what scenarios the doctor will come up with.. what if my family won't love me anymore, what if my bf won't love me anymore.../???? etc.

Do something.. for you.. not for them. Hugs!!