How do you guys deal with someone who always seems like they don't respect you? I have a freind who I have known for years we a quite close but I feel like he thinks he is better than me and doesn't respect me. He is never very rude or insulting but just sometimes the things he says or the way he says them make me think this way. It is more noticeable when he talks to other people and doesn't talk the same way as he does to me. I think this may be related to my ADD because I have trouble concentrating when other people are talking and sometimes say kind of impulsive things.
I don't want to say I want to make him respect me but how do I deal with this and move on? And what can I do to earn more respect? Or have people treat me differently.

I was telling a friend(years ago I'm a total loner now) how I wanted more respect and he said "you got to give a little to get a little." A person can be labeled a "kiss up" or a "brown nosier" trying to give respect. My social skills are very bad so I just learned to live with no respect :)

Hey Rudegar,

I think that if you call people out on their disrespectful behavior (meaning point it out to them when it happens), it tends to stop - and if they are really your friend, they will stick with you. On the other hand, if they really don't respect you, and are not really into you as a friend, they will eventually disappear.

I say, don't just suck it up or "deal with it", confront it. If you are a good person, you don't have to "do" anything to deserve respect. If you give respect, you should get it back - just my opinion.

Sometimes you can come across as disrespectful to someone yourself without realising it.

Ask him if he feels like you disrespect him... and if he says no... then tell him that you feel like he is disrespecting you.

Hmm, interesting. I've always felt a little this way. Like, people like being with me but I often get the feeling they're more laughing at me than with me... sometimes... I dunno. Foggy brain this morning (as always).

Rules of The Road to Respect - make sure they know

1.) If you want to hang out with me... give me space.
2.) If you can't give me space- don't come around.
3.) If you won't give me space - don't bother to call.

You deserve to go out and have fun..without worrying about who's going to invade your space. If they can't follow the rules.. take a time out away from them. .... or maybe break off the friendship.

JMO :)

p.s. I agree with whoever said... let your friend know his actions hurt. The above post was meant for someone else in another thread. But I think it might also apply to you.

Sometimes you can come across as disrespectful to someone yourself without realising it.


This is the case with me... I have insulted people by interrupting them with my random thoughts... they think I don't care about what they are saying. My closest friend got really angry with me when I did something similar. Things have been weird between us ever since.

I feel as if I'm lost in my own world and I have a hard time showing the people around me that I do care about them.

I couldn't edit the above post again... but I wanted to add...that if your friend is treating you in such a way.. maybe a break from him is in order. Respect and boundaries, go hand in hand.

I appreciate your advice. It isnt that this freind does outright obvious disrespectful things it is more that sometimes he comes off as offering too much advice and arrogant.
It is hard to explain but when I put a lot of instances together it seems like he doesn't respect me or something.
I do try to show my respect for people, but what if the person is very arrogant wouldnt that just compound the problem? I may be wrong because aren't some people arrogant because they are really just insecure?

sometimes.. yes

Yeppers...I think people who feel the need to "talk down" to others are people who really don't respect themselves all that much, and need to feel like they are superior in order to feel better. Funny thing is, they really don't feel better, I'd venture to say, and know from personal experience.

Best goal of all (but not an easy one) is to respect and love yourself. That may mean being away from that person (that's a form of respecting yourself). I'd find it hard to tell that person such a thing, though I guess I have done it to one friend, who just could not get it. Maybe I even saw some of myself in him.

A lot of what people do -- maybe all -- is because of what's going on inside of them, not because of what you do. That's often hard to see (I speak all from personal experience) -- but sometimes it hits me profoundly and it is so relieving that I don't have to try to edit myself to please others.

Though I seem to do it anyway...habit of life...perhaps trying to fit in and feel better about myself!

MJ