Ok so here's the deal...

I have a stable full time job with benefits. I can stay there. I've been in the same place for almost five years and I'm fairly young (under 30).

I also have a part time job I work from home now and absolutely love.

I have children and would love to stay home with them and home school.

My full time job is a 45 minute drive each way and my family is stressed to the limit.

I am not good with words and have a voice that seems to come out harsher than intended. I do not have to do a lot of talking in my work at home job where as my work out of the home job, I am obviously around a lot of people. It seems someone is always misinterpreting something I'm saying and I think that staying at home could produce less heartache and relieve some of my stress.

So what do you think? Do you think an ADDer could stay on top of things at home (I'm probably an overfocused type anyway) or need someone physically present to keep them going? I'm sure it doens't take much to figure where I"m leaning.

Only you really know if it will work for you or not with your own personality, and also what kind of work you may get into. Many ADHD work at home. Some home-based work is still very structured and some you can do what you want when you want as long as the projects get done. If you can be productive and comfortable in the environment at home with your situation, and if needed, get a quite place during your work day or structure it around when kids are at school then it could work. Some of us need lots going on around us to get something done, others need quiet and peace to get our work done; can you work well unsupervised, without other adult contact during the day, can you be self-disciplined enough depending on the demands and the structure of the employer, or yourself if it is you! LOL! I have been able to work at home quite well, and find that I can get into the "zone" and do what needs to be done without distractions around me.

What kind of work are you thinking of getting into?

another thing to look at is.. how lucrative is the home based business? If it is paying more than your outside job... and you feel you can handle it..plus homeschooling.. then I would say it's worth a shot.

Look at it from all angles.. before putting it into practice.

At home, you will need structure, a calendar, a timer/alarm, and breaks to stop unnecessary hyperfocus and unproductive underfocus. Many of us work better with someone around (although some need absolute quiet). You can always hire a part-time bookkeeper or assistant if it's not "working out" without someone at the home office.

It depends on the indivual person. I've seen some people with ADHD do really well in the type of situation while others flounder. Do you think you will be able to create your own structure and follow it? Are you willing to get help from somebody else if you notice you aren't doing as well as you hoped?

I've been working from home for 3 years now, and have had some serious problems with prioritizing and time management with business, home and young son to care for. I never knew I had it in me to become a work-a-holic, but that's what happened. I can't stand stopping in the middle of things, even when something of higher priority needs to be done. So that's been the biggest problem - the lack of structure, and my seeming inability to create it myself.

This is something I've really been working on, though, and am now using a planner w/popup reminders, Google calendar, a timer....etc, to help me to better manage my day. I struggle the most with transitioning and motivating myself to do what I NEED to do next when it's not what I WANT to do next.

Despite the difficulties, I love my work and would never want to give it up to go back to work for someone else.

HEck no!

It does depend on the person but I would get side tracked all the time. I have kids and work part time. The only way I can make it work when I am at home is to have a schedule. I make it work pretty well when we have things planned.

I have to sometimes bring home my work

I need to do it now but I am on here.
It won't get done:( That is just me.

I am very direct, or perhaps, a hard-*** realist. Gird your loins. Regretably, I have only skimmed the other responses. I will risk assumptions.

1. How much does the other adult wage earner take in, net, a month? Is there six or more months of financial $upport there if you need it? Please tell me there is another adult wage earner. If not, you probably need both jobs. Keep them.
2. Home study misses the socializing skills that are crucial. There is a new documentary ("Surfwise") about a large surfing (in the water) family with hippies for the parents from the '70's and 80's. The home schooling failed horribly. Some of the now-grown adult children have been reported to be dysfunctional and angry about it even though the main film-maker appears to praise the lifestyle. Find it in theaters or wait for the DVD.
3. "...It seems someone is always misinterpreting something I'm saying and I think that staying..." : does someone really mean EVERYBODY, ALWAYS? Then its you, of course, not them, that has the problem. After five years you should have adjusted your 'voice' - and since you have not, then you did not look for or find effective counseling or public library books that you used successfully. That is a serious problem. Assumption: Why have you not found help?... or did help just not work?
4. Your gasoline bill must be through the roof. Can you drive only part - or none - of the route and take public trans? Can you make the part-time home job full time or 50 hours/week? Will it bring in enough $$$?
5. Having written the above, you could provide excellent home-schooling for the 3-12 grades by learning how to use public library databases of, primarily, magazines and journals for short and long projects of citations and probably. If you do NOT have thistype of databases available, skip this, as books are too cumbersome for most students. You will need something like: Student Research: Books, Journals, Images (MAS ULTRA) http://www.fresnolibrary.org/reference.html
6. Regardless, make everybody read aloud to another person each night for at least a few minutes then encourage 5+ minute discussions.
7. If you have two or more children, consider permanent or serious birth control. When they become teens, you'll understand.
8. Have you ever tried working with digital cooking timer(s) to keep you alert? Try it.
9. Also, have you used MS Word Tables to create rows and columns for a schedule, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.? Leave two to three blank rows for each hour as fill-in tasks as they arise.
10. Did you prefer my numbering these comments to the sentences and paragraphs of the other responders?
Respond to me if you wish.
Mike
Fresno, CA

I guess it depends, but for myself? Hell no. I could never pull that off. I'd get distracted all the time, not be able to finish things, do a million things at once, etc etc. Even if I'd make an hourly schedule. I guess I don't have the discipline and focus for it.

I work from home! It's great : D
I love to do things at my own pace and it works really well for me I think.

I personally tried the home based business, didn't work.
I tried homeschooling, didn't work.

When not being held accountable by someone else (a boss) or required by someone else to do something (school system/send kid to school), I'm drowning.

I didn't know which end was up. The homeschooling definitely was a no no.

I think given the right field, working from home could work out.

My advice to you would be choose one or the other. Unless you've got a major handle on your ADD, working from home and homeschooling might just blow your gasket.

Ultimately, you have to decide for yourself, and be HONEST with yourself. We just don't know you well enough to say yes you can or no you can't. I know I personally couldn't do it. Not without sacrificing much of my own life balance and happiness. The stress would do me in.

I think given the right field, working from home could work out.
I think with me personally, it was very important that I LOVE my home job. If it was something that I really didn't like doing, I don't believe I could ever succeed at it. I'd never be able to motivate on my own.

My young son is in public school. I've wished I could home-school, but as it is - - just taking care of business and home is already more than I have time for. So home-school is out of the question. If we find that public school is not meeting his needs, we'll look into private schools.

I am an ADHDer who works from home. However, I get paid by what I produce and not the number of hours I work, so there is motivation to stay focused. I don't have to leave the house. The company provided the computer/equipment. I like working from home because the rules are pretty simple; I do the work between the hours that I agreed to work and nobody bothers me much. I sometimes get e-mails from my supervisor, but other than that, I don't here from the company much (except for the paycheck of course).

I agree that only you know whether you work better with supervision or whether you do not require much supervision. It has been a good experience for me.

I agree, Five. When I work at home, it's the same as with you. If you need some flexibility in your day, you have it, and you can break up your day if you need to, as long as you produce what is expected of you during each day. I found that to be a great situation.

There really are a lot of options for home-based work. I recall someone saying with their home-based job, they could take their computer to the park and "work" whenever they wanted to do that, which is cool if you don't need the expectations of a structured environment and schedule. :-)

The thing that rang REALLY big alarm bells was the home schooling thing.

Do you REALLY think, as an ADDer you could do a teachers job and ANOTHER job AT THE SAME TIME.

Jees I have enough trouble focussing on one job...but two..... no way

If you'd said work from home then maybe.... depending on just how self disciplined you could be... but home schooling as well (if it means the same in the US as it does in the UK) then NO WAY.... get a GRIP. Home schooling a child/children is a FULL TIME JOB

Urrgghhh

kilt

PS sorry to be so direct but I've been down the pub

... but other than that, I don't here from the company much (except for the paycheck of course).

Okay, that should be "hear". That's a pretty serious typo in my line of work.:p

Five, I get home and loose all tiping abilitie i have at work, were I tipe al day to.

By teh way, trancrybing is a good home-basd work.

Five, I get home and loose all tiping abilitie i have at work, were I tipe al day to.

By teh way, trancrybing is a good home-basd work.


LOL!!!:p

My 2cents,

1) So happy Kiltedscotsman brought that up (sometimes alcohol can be helpful). I don't have kids but I do not understand how they can be home schooled by someone who works except maybe very limited. There is just not enough time in a day.

2) Not saying that you are in anyway, this is just something I have observed that I would like to use this opportunity to bring up.

The people I have known to home school in my area I don't believe ever completed school themselves. I don't know what the requirements are but I really think something needs to be done about this.

It seems to be the new fad, and if it were me the only way I would do it, is if the schools were really dangerous and I couldn't move, but I think I would find a way.

3) If you are unhappy with public schools what about private. My boyfriends daughter goes and it cost about $250 a month, a lot less then I would have thought. He and his ex have been very happy with this school. Three kids all went to it until High school.

4)Now something I really know about. My first thought was who provides the health insurance? You mentioned benefits and I am assuming because of the above mentioned it is you, who provides it. Health insurance at this time is invaluable if your in the US (didn't check). You can not on your own probably even touch the same benefits you get through a company.

If you are on ADD meds and any others figure in that cost, there is a 50% chance your kids have ADD (from what I have read, this may no be so) so if they are on meds too figure that in. Private insurance providers will up your insurance as soon as you start filing a lot of claims. In other word when you really need it you will not be able to afford it.

5) there seems to be a good mix of self employed adders here. Personally I am self employed doing two very part-time jobs that are completely unrelated to each other. I am supported by my boyfriend and lack the motivation to make either of my little bizs really successful.

I did contract labor for 11 yrs and did good at that as I still had a boss and had to show up. One of my businesses is like that now, if I have a job I have to show and always do. The other one..... it only matters to me, no one else depends on me and if I don't work the only thing affected is my pocketbook.

All that said, I hate for anyone not to follow their dream and do what they really want to, but having dependents throws a big damper in there sometimes as you have to always put them first. I'm sure everyone has noticed that our economy is falling apart and jobs are getting harder to come by now. So that makes a good job with benefits worth more then it was a few years ago.

Unless sleeping all day, watching tv, surfing the net is a job I say no. :)

ok. I had to laugh outloud at some of the questions and responses. I want to go back and answer some specifically. Thank you for all the responses and I welcome more.

1. How much does the other adult wage earner take in, net, a month? Is there six or more months of financial $upport there if you need it? Please tell me there is another adult wage earner. If not, you probably need both jobs. Keep them.
The other adult makes slightly less than I do but not much at all.

2. Home study misses the socializing skills that are crucial. There is a new documentary ("Surfwise") about a large surfing (in the water) family with hippies for the parents from the '70's and 80's. The home schooling failed horribly. Some of the now-grown adult children have been reported to be dysfunctional and angry about it even though the main film-maker appears to praise the lifestyle. Find it in theaters or wait for the DVD.

There are some great homeschool groups around here and I definately plan to get them into some church groups, sports, etc. Plus we do have friends with children the same age. If they ever asked to go back to public school, I would definately consider their opinions and reasoning for that before helping them make a decision. Right now the oldest is all for it and the youngest is too young to understand what school is.

3. "...It seems someone is always misinterpreting something I'm saying and I think that staying..." : does someone really mean EVERYBODY, ALWAYS? Then its you, of course, not them, that has the problem. After five years you should have adjusted your 'voice' - and since you have not, then you did not look for or find effective counseling or public library books that you used successfully. That is a serious problem. Assumption: Why have you not found help?... or did help just not work?

I've been finding help since I was 10 at my request. Thanks for the self esteem boost. The medication that i am taking for ADHD does help quite a bit. I just think that not being around people regularly may make me feel better.

4. Your gasoline bill must be through the roof. Can you drive only part - or none - of the route and take public trans? Can you make the part-time home job full time or 50 hours/week? Will it bring in enough $$$?

There is a large possibility that I could make the same at my part time job as I do at my full time job next year even if it is still part time. I used to drive my husband to his job first but we had to leave at the crack of dawn. It made our lives stressful and this was befor ethe part time job. Also don't foget hopefully I'd be saving on gas and childcare.
5. Having written the above, you could provide excellent home-schooling for the 3-12 grades by learning how to use public library databases of, primarily, magazines and journals for short and long projects of citations and probably. If you do NOT have thistype of databases available, skip this, as books are too cumbersome for most students. You will need something like: Student Research: Books, Journals, Images (MAS ULTRA) http://www.fresnolibrary.org/reference.html
6. Regardless, make everybody read aloud to another person each night for at least a few minutes then encourage 5+ minute discussions.
7. If you have two or more children, consider permanent or serious birth control. When they become teens, you'll understand.
8. Have you ever tried working with digital cooking timer(s) to keep you alert? Try it.
9. Also, have you used MS Word Tables to create rows and columns for a schedule, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.? Leave two to three blank rows for each hour as fill-in tasks as they arise. I'm thinking that Excel would be better for this ;)
10. Did you prefer my numbering these comments to the sentences and paragraphs of the other responders? I like numbered items because that's what I do myself :)

The thing that rang REALLY big alarm bells was the home schooling thing.

Do you REALLY think, as an ADDer you could do a teachers job and ANOTHER job AT THE SAME TIME.

Jees I have enough trouble focussing on one job...but two..... no way

If you'd said work from home then maybe.... depending on just how self disciplined you could be... but home schooling as well (if it means the same in the US as it does in the UK) then NO WAY.... get a GRIP. Home schooling a child/children is a FULL TIME JOB

Urrgghhh

kilt

PS sorry to be so direct but I've been down the pub

LOL....well....considering that I now do the job of a teacher with 120 children/day that belong to other people that can be way more disrespectful than my child (and I'm sure not saying that my child is perfect!) and then come home and teach more of other people's children...Yes I think I could probably handle this and see my children more and do the household chores that my poor husband has been left with for the last two years.

And incase your are curious, I rarely have issues with the children...it is my coworkers who really don't know me at all...and they aren't personality problems...they just take things I say or don't say and twist them...very frustrating.

I'm mostly concerned about getting things done because now I know that I have to schedule everything including time with my children. If this is relaxed....I worry that I might actually forget to work.

The people I have known to home school in my area I don't believe ever completed school themselves. I don't know what the requirements are but I really think something needs to be done about this.

It seems to be the new fad, and if it were me the only way I would do it, is if the schools were really dangerous and I couldn't move, but I think I would find a way.

Well my husband is certified to teach 4 subjects and I one which means we not only graduated from high school but also have college degrees as well. However, I do not disagree with others homeschooling their children because most of what I would teach my children would come from what I learned before I graduated from high school. The only thing that I see wrong sometimes is that there are parents who will pull their children from public schools because they are not allowed to behave as they please. But when they pull them out...no schooling actually happens.

The schools where we live and in surrounding areas...50% of the students are atleast one if not two grade levels behind by the end of middle school. There are plenty of things I would be ok with them learning later in life all of which happens in these schools. My oldest is very bright and is frustrated waiting for her classmates to catch up. She hates school but is ready to move onto other more challenging things which we try to do with her at home but between completing the senseless homework and the fact that we are very tired when we get home...not a lot gets done.


3) If you are unhappy with public schools what about private. My boyfriends daughter goes and it cost about $250 a month, a lot less then I would have thought. He and his ex have been very happy with this school. Three kids all went to it until High school.

Honestly...the drugs and other things happen just as much in these private schools. We have a small school here that we could send for much less than $250/month but she would be working out of a work book which is not what I believe in.


4)Now something I really know about. My first thought was who provides the health insurance? You mentioned benefits and I am assuming because of the above mentioned it is you, who provides it. Health insurance at this time is invaluable if your in the US (didn't check). You can not on your own probably even touch the same benefits you get through a company.

If you are on ADD meds and any others figure in that cost, there is a 50% chance your kids have ADD (from what I have read, this may no be so) so if they are on meds too figure that in. Private insurance providers will up your insurance as soon as you start filing a lot of claims. In other word when you really need it you will not be able to afford it.

I currently provide my own benefits...dh provides benefits for himself and our children. We'd pay extra to put me on the insurance but nowhere near what we'd pay for private insurance. I lived without ADD medication until not long ago. While, I do feel that ADD was the missing link in my life that has explained everything and I do feel that I will be more productive with my medication...I did live for many many years without it...I do not at this point want to put my children on ADD medication unless there is a serious need for it. I made it through school and through college (not learning much of anything without teaching myself but still...) and I don't believe in just throwing them on it.


5) there seems to be a good mix of self employed adders here. Personally I am self employed doing two very part-time jobs that are completely unrelated to each other. I am supported by my boyfriend and lack the motivation to make either of my little bizs really successful.

I did contract labor for 11 yrs and did good at that as I still had a boss and had to show up. One of my businesses is like that now, if I have a job I have to show and always do. The other one..... it only matters to me, no one else depends on me and if I don't work the only thing affected is my pocketbook.

All that said, I hate for anyone not to follow their dream and do what they really want to, but having dependents throws a big damper in there sometimes as you have to always put them first. I'm sure everyone has noticed that our economy is falling apart and jobs are getting harder to come by now. So that makes a good job with benefits worth more then it was a few years ago.
[/QUOTE]

I don't do sales or self employment. It would be a job and if I needed to supplement....there are several things that I would apply for...all would be working for someone else. I couldn't sell my way out of a paper bag and I hate to charge people money...just wouldn't work for me.

Hi HappyFeet,

I work from home in sales-for somone else and I will never go back to working in an office environment. It allows me to stay out of office politics and work like mad when I want to and rest when I need to. As long as I am meeting thier expectations all is well. I go into the office once a week and have monthly budgets I must meet along with several dealines throughout the month.

On the other hand my ex who is also ADHD went back to work after two years off running his own computer programming business (developer) and he constantly struggles to make this work. He is given an end date of when the project needs to be done and he is unable to commit himself on a regular basis to the project. Then it is late and he has dissapointed himself and others. Add in he puts off important paperwork like invoicing and it is very stressful. It is still workable, I just think he needs weekly goals and more structure.

It sounds like with the type of work you are talking about there is enough structure there to make it work. You need to be careful, but it can be done.

I've had my own home-based business for 10 years, and I think I'm much more productive than I was working at an office for someone else. For one thing, I caught on to the "no work, no money" correlation very quickly. More importantly,though, it helps that most of my work projects can be completed quickly and have a short fuse; my clients tend to need things at a moment's notice. So, while I may not have a boss looking over my shoulder, if I fail to deliver for a client, I'll lose that client in a hurry. Being constantly "on call" and having to turn things around quickly helps keep me focused -- as does knowing that this is my sole source of income. I don't think I would be nearly as successful if my work involved long, multi-staged, self-paced projects, since self-pacing is not my best thing (duh). I also looked after my twins until they were 18 months old, at which point we all got too "busy" for that to be a workable situation.

Em

HF:

Based on your first post, it seems like we are quite alike. I lost my job of 12 years for being a loudmouth and outspoken dude.

Part of the problem was the place had gone from 90 to 450 people in that time, too. And the offices while originally broken up in a smaller building had become these open cubical cities. Not only did I not know many people anymore, but being loud occasionally bugged more people. And I heard about it from the boss all the time.

What I found out, was that I was in the wrong job, wrong place (too big) and needed something that fit me, not caused me to stick out like a sore thumb due to all the tender egos.

See I am a pretty smart dude, but I like to make jokes, not making fun of people but often about things that seem odd to me. In example I once joked joked about a woman who ran one group was hiring her old boss (he quit the job as he did not want to manage anymore). She took offense and I had to apologize in front of my supervisor to her.

I should have left years earlier. The last 4 years were the worst, almost daily criticism, none of it constructive. I am still quite bitter, and my anger is keeping me from wanting another job.

But seriously, I am making major strides in my life with my current therapist, I am learning what I missed from growing up ADHD (don't joke around known sensitive people, don't work for ego freaks, they won't grow up), dealing with putting the past to rest, and helping me work through the big questions, like what the heck am I supposed to be doing for work?

Work at home I already do

Home school = no thank you