Here, I just feel like writing and keep writing, to get more things off my chest. I encourage people to read and reply to this post.

I established that I have a bad enough attitude in the room to where it complicates things. Yes, I am rude, nasty and argumentive, I pointed that out in a previous post of mine.

I'm told that I am extremely rude to those who are just trying to help me. And yes, I am uncooperative with those people, I can admit that.

I push everyone away.

I have all these defensive walls that have up for a long time.

I push everyone away and they don't want to come back. Well i'll tell ya, that doesn't do anything positive for me or help my self of steem.

I shouldn't be causing a ruckus in the room.
shouldn't be argumentive, on the defensive, with everyone in the room especially when all they want is a word or two from me.

I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING RIGHT NOW as i'm typing this.

But what does it matter?

I bet no one is reading this post.

Why should anyone?

I show people the negative side of me. I keep the negative side showing. People say if i'm nice, i'll only be nice for so long.

So who cares. Who should care if i'm nice.

I should care, but it appears as if I lost the will.

In fact, it's frustrating.

I shouldn't push anyone around. Yell at them or say nasty things to them.

I should embrace the help I receive, as for it may be good purposeful ideas.

What else?
I guess that is it for now.

Thank you for your time. If you een read this.

See, I don't care anymore.

Oh well.

Thank you anyhow.

Zach,
I am reading your post.. just as I read all others.
You must first love yourself, Zach.

MrZachary,

The only way people will get to know you here, is by showing others who you are, in the contents of your posts. No one here is judging you, or has any pre-conceived notions of who or what you are. Why don't you introduce yourself to the ADD Forums members by posting an introductory paragraph in the Introductions section of the forum. I think that would be an excellent way for you to make new friends here! :)

Hi Zach,

You know you said a lot here and I think that Big has an excellent suggestion. Because for those that visit the forums also visit the chat room and maybe that could help and change some things. It is good to actually see you talking here and letting things off your chest and I hope that others read your posting.

Welcome Zach.

I think everybody has a right to be argumentative, uncooperative, unfriendly, angry, and grumpy. The question is can you be argumentative, uncooperative, unfriendly, angry and grumpy without being offensive or downright rude? I see nothing rude so far... are you saying you get a lot worse?