View Full Version : Financial Difficulties & Feeling Shunned

05-17-08, 10:26 AM

I just need to vent. Many of you probably already know that I'm a VERY single parent (no fathers involved and none of my family of origin supportive and currently not able to work, so no friends in my life - work was my social life). And there is really just ONE FACTOR that keeps sending me over the edge: Financial difficulties.

I'll never be wealthy, most likely. I don't have even a Bachelor's degree, just an 2-year Associate's. And I currently am having a Major Depressive episode (I guess) whereby I have a more pronounced behavior/sensation/reality of being EXHAUSTED most hours of each day, and just feel completely overwhelmed. It's all I can do to bring my kids to school each day, pick them up, get them some sort of food, and make sure they are well and have clean clothing to wear (although my older daughter often does her own laundry). However, she's a day student at a boarding school, and therefore, she's at school from 7:30 a.m. - 8:00 p.m. M - Th, Friday 7:30 a.m. - 11:00 a.m., Saturday 9:30 a.m. - 11:00 p.m., and much of Sunday also. So I feel so ashamed when I see her having to do her own laundry after having to work her butt off each day.

Anyway - since not working, I have managed to get govt. help - and I only have lost about $500 per month of income. (Only?!) And since I no longer have to pay for daycare or fancy clothes - I think it's not too bad of a financial loss. I still receive approx. $2,400 per month, yet everything is so expensive and during the worst of my depression, I managed to lose track of my finances and have incurred significant debt to my main creditors: mortgage, gas, electric, etc. :o

The good thing, FINALLY I have gotten a rep payee to handle my money and pay my bills. The bad thing, this process and switching of my unearned monthly income from direct deposit into MY bank account to this agency's bank account has been SLOOOOWWW and mistakes and misplaced checks have happened. Anyway - I currently have NO MONEY at all, NO GAS in my car, and NO FOOD in my house. And my youngest is sick with a fever and ??? flu??

So - desperate as I am, I was reduced to calling the only person I feel I CAN call - but also the one person who does not hold back how ANGRY he is with me for "not working" and being a "Big Loser" and all that other "tough love" stuff (ie., verbal, emotional, psychological ABUSE) my father. Anyway - as usual, I'm in tears and feeling humiliated, shamed and shunned after making that phone call. :( But - I had to try!

Thanks for being here,

05-17-08, 11:54 AM

I wish you well and I'm glad you've found the Forum.

If you get the chance, please check out Jim Cramer's newest book "Stay Mad For Life."

He's either considered "nuts" or people love him.

I belong to the latter camp.

His book is about how to prepare for your financial future based on his life experiences.

He's on CNBC week nights with his tv show Mad Money.

It may not be to your liking,so I hope it's helpful.

I say this because "Cramer," as he is called the most, was homeless, and lived in his car while a homocide reporter in California.

He talks about that more in hs first book "Confessions of a Street ( as in Wall Street) Addict."

Even then, he was investing a little bit each month in a mutual fund.That and trading & investing helped pay for Harvard Law School.

He's "retired" after 25+ years in the business. Besides his show, he also has a charitable trust (Action Alert Plus),where he gives away whatever he makes on the trust portfolio.

I thought of him just now, because he's all about helping "regular" people (like you & me) learn to invest.

Even if you don't care for him, I sincerely wish you the best & welcome to the Forum.


05-17-08, 11:58 AM
Nothing like feeling you're already at the bottom and then having to dig down a little deeper by going for help to the one person you know will heap more shame upon you.... If you're family of origin is like mine, your upbringing probably has a lot to do with the problems that keep you stuck firmly at the bottom -- no unconditional love, overly critical, no fostering of self-esteem.

I'm 51 and just had to ask my parents to co-sign a loan to refinance my house. I HATED going to them, but the adjustable rate was killing me. At the mortgage broker's office, my dad's only question was "If she doesn't make the payments, will you start hassling ME?"

I hope that since you were forced to go to your father he came through with some help, even if the price was high.

05-17-08, 12:33 PM
$100 monthly money source.

Low cost Food

Free Gas--a.k.a the Arkansas credit card

05-17-08, 01:46 PM
I know this situation. I'm sorry things are hard for you right now. it will get better, though.

05-17-08, 11:06 PM
Thank you all! You don't know how much it means to me just to know that someone read my post - then to post such kind replies -- well -- all's I need is just a little show of care/concern from someone once in a while!! :)

I really appreciate all of your inputs! They've helped me a lot already!!


05-17-08, 11:28 PM
Sorry to hear of it Sue. It's one thing when I'm having a little money trouble, but I can't imagine the stress of supporting kids. I hope your dad comes through for you and drops the 'tude. I'm sure he's had some rough spots in his life somewhere. We all do. I spent all of last year not working, pursuing a crazy plan of getting a 2nd degree in a totally different area. It didn't work out as planned. But I'm starting to get back on my feet. I know that things will improve for you if you let people help you.