i have 2 lovely boys aged 1 and 7 my 7 yr old has add and is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with he constantly torments his baby brother and will hurt him for no reason i feel i have tried everything i just feel so lost it has come to the stage now that i just can't trust him to be alone in the same room as his baby brother its so difficult as 4 of us live in a 1 bedroom flat we have hardly any space and i have no where to run if things get too tough i get constantly stressed and find myself shouting and lashing out at him i know this is not right but i just dont know what to do somebody please help me and give me some guidance i need it right now i know i do :confused:

He may have ADD, but ADD doesn't cause these "mean" tendencies.
You should prbably get him to a counselor to see why he is behaving this way.

hugggs floss,....i know, its hard when there is no space. I have chatted with you in PMs,...hopefully someone else might have some advise too. Yo9u are a good parent and i know you love them,...and you cope fairly well floss hun. Sometimes you are too hard on yourself. i lvoe ya,.xoxoxoxo

Floss,

It certainly sounds like these behaviors are symptoms of something other than ADD. If you can, you should have your oldest evaluated by a doctor to determine what is causing these angry outbursts.

If you need a break from your kids for a short while, there are many short-term respite solutions in the London area. If you're near Bromley, this might help you: http://bk.bromley.gov.uk/content/social_care/learning_disabilities/LD_Respite_and_Short-term_Breaks.jsp

Let me know if you need other sources.

i have tried taking him to the doctors and have demanded that he be reassessed i feel there is more to his add than just bad and disruptive behaviour i feel that he may have other disorders too i just need to know so i can gain as much info as i need

How long has he been acting out in anger like this? If its only since your youngest was born, it may be resentment that he has to share attention with him. If its longer than that, there may be something else going on, like ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) or something else. You can find out more information on ODD at my website, and by checking with your son's doctor.

he has been like this for some time now he hurts other children at school for no reason or if they do something that he doesnt like even my friends kids i have to watch him closley with as he can turn quite nasty generally he is a loving little boy he just has alot of problems that he needs help with i am desperate to find out what is causing all the anger and am currently awaiting for him be reassessed

My son also has an anger problem, but he has been so much better since his dr put him on meds.
Prior to the med.. he was punching holes in walls, full of rage.
Good luck to you floss
Huge hugssssssss

Flo, go with your gut if you feel there is more going on with your child other than Add. Insist and get the testing done. If anything it will give you piece of mind and you can go from there.
Good Luck!

I agree with Tonya nobody know's your child as well as you do. If your gut tells you something is not right try another doctor. My son was the sameway until we finally got him into therapy. Thru the therapist we found out that Dakota striked out in frustration he is above average and has a hard time communicating with his peers so he would strike out. He also felt he could not talk to us. We had to learn to actually just sit down face to face and not reply when he talked. It's hard because most the time it's attacks on his father and I. But, kids need to know they too have a voice.

Hugss Floss ....I know its hard ..I have a son in a treatment center for similar behaviors. He didn't hurt his siblings ..it was me..but before all that we had the same kind of problems..broken windows in a fit of rage, holes in the walls..ect..as he got older so did the aggression...it went from that to hitting and fighting at school..and then to hitting and hurting me ..I know your in a tough spot..what about changing docs or finding one that deals with children with aggression problems? .....Your in my thoughts

Hugsss and love
Hope

Floss,
Big Huggs to you. My son also had agression problems. He would put holes in the walls, he got kicked out of home day care at least 3 times; he was angry and aggressive with me. I found a lot of relief with the respite program- we couldn't make it through a weekend sometimes without having to take a day off. He was diagnosed ODD (oppositional defiant) as well as adhd. It was so important to me to get a support network going- friends i could spend time with to let off steam, people i could trust to talk about it. I went to counseling with David and that helped a lot. i learned how to parent him and how to love him even though he was difficult. Please keep writing and reaching out, we are here for you. ANd try not to be hard on yourself- you're faced with a challenge and you're doing the best you can. I also found Al-Anon to be a great help- thats for friends and families of alcoholics but it really helped me with my anger and the yelling- I dont yell at him anymore...Someone at a meeting today reminded us, SLAP AND BE SLAPPED< YELL AND BE YELLED AT...you often get just what you give and its so hard NOT TO YELL when they know so well how to push buttons. I love you floss, get whatever help you can from your social worker. you can talk to me anytime..

((hugs)) to you!
have you tried any goal setting strategies? It can be very tough for a child to have all of your attention for so long and then have to share it with a new baby. There are 6 yrs between my kids as well! try setting 3 clear objectives...keeping hands to self, for instance. use a "special calendar" or make a daily checklist. if your child can accomplish the daily goal then use alot of praise and make a big deal out of it. If the goals are reached daily for x amount of time have a special treat that he has chosen himself ready and waiting for him!
good luck!

I have nothing to offer here, except that the suggestions are great!
I had been batteling recently with my son. And became scared as I was caught in the yelling trap etc.. Well I am on good behavior.
And am back to picking and choosing my battles. And keeping a close watch on my need to have controll. It is going better when I keep my temper,and take the time to tell stories and listen to him when he talks.
I don't have a baby to protect, or the other pressures you spoke of. I wish you the best!!