Hey everyone. I posted once several years back and never posted again up until now :D.

Anyways I've visited a doctor about 3 to 4 months after that first post and after several long visits he told me I needed some serious help. According to him I have a mood disorder of some sort and my anxiety and depression levels were shooting through the roof. He stated that these were the reasons why I'm in-attentive, have low self-esteem, am hyperactive and mentally/physically sluggish. I was then referred to a psychiatrist. It took me up until earlier this year to go due to me not having the attention span, patience and motivation :(.

After my first visit to the psychiatrist I was put on lexapro and some other stuff. I totally forgot the name of the other medication. Fact of the matter is I've been taking them for almost 5 weeks after being prescribed to them and they have done nothing at all for me. I never went back for any refills especially after he increased my dosage due to the fact that I found out my insurance does not cover mental health (the meds are extremely expensive). I explained this to him after about two visits and then he throws me on prozac which I never even bothered to take even though it was very affordable. Shortly after I had to cancel any future appointments because my insurance company does not want to cover me for regular visits either. Now I owe lots of money which I don't even have.

Anyways money isn't the issue here. The thing is that I've been having problems with attention and hyperactivity since I can last remember. I've only been mildly to moderately depressed since I was about 13 but overtime both conditions seem to have worsened. I could go into very specific details but I honestly don't have the focus to do that. My attention span is incredibly low. It always has been. As I sit typing this I fidget a lot and my mind is like clusters of many different thoughts that I can't even put together. I also get distracted a lot for absolutely no reason. Emotionally speaking however, sometimes I feel like hell and wish I could fall asleep and never wake up. Even when I'm feeling ok I still have many problems with attention and motivation.

It's weird because after several years of not being on this forum I've read a good number of posts and many of them are extremely identical to how I am. Here are just several less obvious ones out of many...

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52194
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52817
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52874
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52109

Up until this day I don't know if I belong here even though I'm nearly convinced that I do. I don't want to argue with professionals (doctors and such) about whether I have add/adhd or not. I just need to get things sorted out. Is this a rare case on my behalf or has anyone been through anything like this? I could definitely use some advice and all opinions are welcome. Thanks.

By the way... it took me all eternity to have this typed up.