I really miss my band director right now I’m not graduated yet and I already miss him. I have 9 school days left. He is just such an inspiration and I just really miss him and I know I will come back to the high school and see band concerts, but it just is not the same. I worked with him for 3 years and it has just been really hard to know I won’t see him everyday. He is the only teacher who I trust. He thought of me as a daughter and he always protected me on band trips. Now I suddenly have to leave him. He was the only person that I could talk to about anything!!! HE IS SO AWESOME! I LOVE HIM! I miss him so much. I want to cry and I think about him almost 24/7 and I want to see him all the time! I am not in love with him though because hes too old for me. I think of him as my 2nd dad one time he gave me $5 to go get a sub at subway because I didn't have a lunch. He took care of me. I love him much as my real dad and I have his email! I miss him soooooo much it literally hurts! have any of ya'll had a teacher like this?

You're lucky to have had an educator who touched you so deeply. THAT is why teachers teach. To touch - and hopefully change - at least one person each year.

There isn't an easy way for you to get past this phase. You need to allow yourself time to grieve. This is a loss for you.

The only advice I can give you is this: As you go through your life phases, think of your band director and do what you can to make him proud of you. An go back to visit him when you have the opportunity, to let him know how great his influence was on your life.

I really hope this doesn't come out sounding wrong (it likely will), but I understand how you feel. But please exercise a bit of restraint in the days to come.

It is sad, but in todays society, a school girl with deep emotion towards a teacher ends up being scandalous and the top story on the 11 o'clock news.

I find it touching that your teacher was so caring. You've developed quite a bond, and while innocent I'm sure, from someone else's perspective, it could be perceived to be quite the opposite.

Your post is filled with things like "I LOVE HIM" and "I think about him almost 24/7". Lifetime channel is filled with movies about this. Use common sense, avoid the media and remember, he's your teacher. One wrong move could cost him his job, and probably most of his life.

I probably watch too much tv, but unfortunately, we're a society that takes a prank phone call and uproots an entire polygamist village based on that. Right or wrong, it's shoot first, ask questions later.

in time you will feel less strongly and start to get over it. I didn't want this post to sound like a "tsk tsk you'll poke your eye out". It just happened to be the very first thing I thought.

my last day is June 9th and my concert is this week also. I dont know how im gonna hold my self together. He is the reason I am becoming a band director he inspired me so much. I am currently writing him a letter which i am gonna give to him on the last day of class.

from the book Life 101~



Learn to Let Go


How does one avoid loss in the first place? Contrary to popular belief, it's not attachment that causes loss--attachment feels fine. It's detachment that hurts. Learn to let go.

Some suggest that to avoid loss, one should never be attached to anything. They give the example of a hand in water: when the hand is removed from the water, the hand leaves no impression. These people say the reason the hand leaves no trace in the water is because the water is not attached to the hand.

On the contrary, while the hand is in the water, it is very attached to the hand--surrounding, enfolding, and embracing it. Allow yourself to experience life as fully as water experiences the hand; then, as completely, let go.

Yes, the water leaves a little of itself on the departing hand, as we leave a little of ourselves with the people and things we touch. For the most part, however, when it comes time to go, let go.

The hand can no more hold the water than the water can hold the hand. As soon as one "wants" to leave, there is no attachment. Hand and water both accept the inevitability, and part "clean."

Hold them very close, and let them go.

i am really struggling with this transition I thought I was getting better but it started hitting me again.

It's great that you've found someone who made such an impact on your life. You've come across a quality in someone that separates good teachers from great teachers...an ability to inspire. But the lesson you've yet to learn is independence. You sound as if though you're attached at the hip. That is a lesson you must learn on your own.

I'm sure a lot of advice you get will not make perfect sense, but think about this...if you ask a high schooler about life, that student will tell you about high school. Trust me, life is NOT high school. For me, it was a barely signficant time in my life.

You'll learn to move on and adapt well (hopefully) without your band teacher. That teacher will always be a big and postive influence on you, but that influence will blend with many other influences in later years that will make you a better person. It's not possible to see this now, because to you, life is high school. But years later, you will understand.

Having said all that, I'm not trying to take away from your grieving process...and that is what you're going through is grief over a loss. But I'm just trying to put it in a little perspective that I've gained over several years of living ...way past high school.

Count your blessings. You have had many great experiences with your teacher, and I'm sure you'll have many wonderful visits to come. Many students have never had what you've had. Take it, cherish it and use it to further yourself. That's what your teacher would want for you, I'm sure. And that's certainly what you should want for yourself.

I know you're sad, and it is a sad thing. Grieve, what you feel is fairly normal, but don't get sunk down in the mire of grief so that you don't rise again. You have an obligation to yourself and those who love you to push forward, always rising again.