there blood pressure boil and have to hear that always doesn't that suck i don't wanna be how i am i don't wanna kill my mom with issues with me i some times wished i was not born cause all i do is give problems and headaches and issues to people and im just not what they wanted in a child im really want to be understood and no one understands me or understands where im coming from

I getcha. My mom doesn't even want to admit I have ADD, it's "too upsetting to think about". I'm 39, and I told her 10 years ago I thought I had it, and she told me "don't spread that around, people will think there is something wrong with you." I struggled all through school, and she does NOT want them to think something is wrong? Sheesh!

It's hard, but I know it helped me to learn about how to take care of myself, and not worry about what other people think, even my mom. She's dealt with a lot in her life, and this was 'one more thing" and she just could not cope. So, I love her, and I take care of me without worrying too much if she is backing me up on this. She does a lot of other things and shows me she cares in other ways. I wish she would accept this, and not get mad when I do things that frustrate her, but I cannot make her think like that.

Emmie

You have a right to be you marytza! You weren't put on this earth to be the person someone else had in mind - you were born to be you, a complete individual. You're just trying to find out who you are, trying to deal with the difficulties life and being you creates, like everyone else. Every day is another layer of you, growing and learning. No-one will ever learn the things you will, think the things you do, no-one will ever be you. You're a limited edition marytza! The highest ideal any human being on this earth can reach is to just keep trying. As long as you're doing this, you're perfect, and no-one can ask any more of you.

Hey, Marytza, with time, maybe :), those sort of statements might even be funny. My mother blamed me for my sister sucking her thumb!

In the meantime, remember you are not responsible for her feelings. She's the one and the only one able to choose how and what and to what degree she is going to respond and feel. You are not and never will be responsible.

You however are the only one responsible for how much guilt you are going to feel. That's your choice. She can't make you feel anything - you either let her or you don't.

My parent blame me for their gray hair. I think we all get the quilt trips. It is the parent rite of passage to blame your kids, just like we get to look back and blame them for all our issues. ahhhh... so is life....

I sometimes wonder if we get our gray hairs... in return from the gray hairs we gave our parents... who knows.

Marytza, you are NOT to blame for your parents high blood pressure ..etc most of those things are hereditary or brought on by not taking care of themselves.

They like to lay guilt on the child... when they're *FRUSTRATED*...and don't know of any other way to express what they're feeling.

When they start in... ask them one time.. if they never gave their parents nightmares. Then tell them..that you know you're not perfect but that you love them... flaws and all.. lol ;)

Marytza, you are NOT to blame for your parents high blood pressure ..etc most of those things are hereditary or brought on by not taking care of themselves.

Hehehe - or if she starts in again look at her with WIDE eyes filled with sheer terror then say, "OHMIGOSH, high blood pressure's hereditary....does that mean you gave it to me??????"

Oh wait, maybe not. That's a smartass response that would just cause more friction:p

Hey Marytza,

Hang in there! Having ADD can be stressful not only for the person with the condition, but the family members around.

I would strongly encourage you to talk to your parents about your condition and also encourage them to learn as much about ADD as possible. I think if they can come from a place of better understanding, you will be able to work much better with them.