View Full Version : She sat silently


illusive
05-26-08, 06:49 AM
She melted silently
Into the couch
Into the living room
Into alone zone.
And they were all gone.

They became invisible
The outline of her image
Lingered as a reminder
A subtle hint
Her surface presence.

A machine
in her head
Connected
to her eyes
Wide open.

She saw
something else
She remembered
what she saw.

Long gone
dog brother .
Loved ones,
Leaving,.
Rings,
hinge designs.
Her glow,
His stress,
His shadow,
Her desire.

Jealous
of those in the moment.
Their smiles,
Their mania,
Their lovely b@#ls*@t.
She tore at her Speight’s label.

Realising,
what she was doing,
she looked around.
She checked
That
no-one noticed.
Because,
isn’t that what sexually frustrated people do?
Tear at bottle labels
and s*#t?

Yes,
it must be.

She was well aquainted
With
Hiding
From those who notice.

Train
your brain.
She reminded herself.
Focus
on what’s in front.
What you see
through your eyes.
The room,
the stuff.
So much stuff.
What to focus on?

This,
that.
Breathe.

He started whispering
so loud.
She could not hear her own thoughts.

How was she to become,
Less ambiguous
So as not to confuse
When the result was born out of defence
And never intentional anyway.

The more she tried
to share her thought processes
The more she felt
That his calm demeanor was fraudulent
And a huge necessity to explain,
To shed light,
Grew.

He said nothing
She offered an obligatory apology
For being
what she termed
A ‘mind f#k’

His words of wisdom
were
"Snap out of it".
‘Snap out of what?’
‘Oh if only I were blessed’ she thought.
‘If only it were that easy’.

Mind control
of your own mind.
Mind snapping.
Survival reliant
on preservation.

Don’t you know
Your way
Is not the way
It’s just one way

Have you ever
felt
like
your mind was about to,
snap into,
an entirely,
different mind
space?

Like.
the cracks
were
about to brake.
And,
with this destruction
a whole new creation
would be born.

She would of relaxed,
let go,
and enjoyed the journey.
If only,
she would be there for that journey.

She knew
That she
as she knew herself
and you knew her
Would be lost.
Forever.

Fear
of consequence
held her back.

A neccessity had arisen
To cease
All visions
of decapitation.

She did not ever wish
to be
accountable for making others
feel
the same.

She struggled
with the thought
that each individual
had the power
to control
how they felt
through their attitude.

She believed
In
Balance.

She did feel
it necessary
to work on her attitude.
Through life.

To cultivate ways
of thinking
that no-one
could ever
take away from her.

She wanted
someone
who didn’t need her
to make them feel something.

She wanted
someone
who felt
complete.

She longed for
the return
of trust.

Living
Became art.