Greetings everyone. :)

I'm fairly new to these boards, think i joined only about a week ago. I thought i had better post something before i become isolated from everything altogether!

Ok, so basically the reason i started this thread is because i would like to emphasize that i find it near impossible to do daily activities due to my persistant negative thinking. I am a self diagnosed ADDer (Psychs say there is nothing wrong with me) and i also suffer from pretty bad depression & anxiety. These conditions seem to go well in conjunction to prevent me from doing day to day things as a whole. Even engaging in previously enjoyed activities such as computer games can be a chore. I hate learning new things and am generally very impatient (especially if i see myself performing badly and others persevere).

Yesterday i had a driving lesson from my brother. He has recently become an instructor, which is good! Anyway, i did this for around 2 hours and i found the whole thing horribly overwhelming. The whole checking mirrors, adjusting the seat to give room for your legs etc..it drove me nuts! My left leg was shaking everytime i released the clutch and i stalled many times out of fear of moving too fast. This made made me feel very negative about myself and i felt like a pesimistic whimp! What's more, my cousin who was learning, seemed to do really well and take instructions from my bro with no real problems. As you can imagine my negative thinking proceeded further and i felt so useless and just wanted to cry out of jealously more than anything else.

Not sure if this post made much sense, but is there some advice any of you lovely people can lend to me to be more optimistic and more patient when it comes to learning new things? And is ADD a direct cause of negative thinking or is it because of my depression/anxiety?

Thanks in advance :)

Barry

You experience sounds similar to mine, but I like learning new things, and look forward to it. The problem comes from the same negativity and distraction that you are reporting. It gets in the way of the process and leaves me feeling very frustrated and then depressed in the longer run. The confusing thing is that I learn some things very easily, and quickly, and others are just frustrating. I found that this has a lot to do with the environment that I'm in when I'm learning. I discovered that if I'm in a group situation, where there is an instructor who verbalizes the instructions and then people take turns carrying out the instructions I do much better. In this situation I'm able to hear the instructions and then see them being carried out, by example (this would mean that I'm not the first one). I learn more from the watching of the examples, and the mistakes of those who are taking a turn before me. When I was a kid I noticed two groups involved in this kind of practice, the ones who competed to be first to try something, and them me, with a group of others, who were competing to delay their turn as long as possible.
One on one lessons like driving instruction are difficult for me. The focus is difficult because I'm the only one there, and there is the anxiety of being the sole subject of attention by an instructor. The anxiety being a result of my negativity regarding my performance and being afraid of my zoning out and not paying attention, because I know it's coming, and I don't have control over it.

Not sure if this post made much sense, but is there some advice any of you lovely people can lend to me to be more optimistic and more patient when it comes to learning new things? And is ADD a direct cause of negative thinking or is it because of my depression/anxiety?
Barry

First off, it's absolutely crucial that you get properly assessed by someone who has experience with ADHD. Although you probably do have ADHD, it's possible your symptoms are caused by something else. It's no good to you if you're treating for X when it's really Y that's causing the problems. Without a proper diagnosis you can't access the treatment options that may impact your negative thinking. I suppose it's one of those 'chicken or egg' questions. So in your case, is the ADHD causing the depression or are you depressed because of ADHD?

But I'll skip a few steps, and fill you in on a few things. A few simple phrases or good stories will hardly have any long term impact on your self esteem. Remember, it's called self esteem, which means that it's YOU who will have the last word on your negative thinking.

Managing ADHD takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears. Even then, you don't magically come to some pleateau of bliss and stay there forever. You will constantly be challenged and tested. It will be very frustrating. You need to know who you are, and how you learn best. Then hopefully, there will be a way to communicate that to those around you.

There are no quick fixes when it comes to ADHD and self esteem. But after a lot of perserverence and hard work, you will get to a place where things do start looking better.

And is ADD a direct cause of negative thinking or is it because of my depression/anxiety?Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help you learn new positive self-talk. You can do it yourself. If the negative thinking is the result of depression, it needs professional help. People don't always recognize their depression because it clouds judgement.

Driving lessons are a lot to deal with at the best of times. I took my driver's test with a little old Vauxhaul - the kind where the turn signal was this little lever that shot out of the side of the car and the "stick" was on the steering column. :D
The test was almost forty years ago and I can still retrieve a mental video of the whole test. I was so nervous, but the tester was very kind and patient. As we drove into the parking lot at the end of the test, I stalled the car and muttered something about only driving automatic transmissions in the future. LOL! :D NOT!

I still drive stick and the hydraulic clutch on my VW is the sweetest clutch I've ever driven. :cool:

What you're describing are the symptoms of your depression, so wouldn't it make sense to concentrate on treating that if possible? (That sentance wasn't supposed to sound as judgy as it did.) Personally i would make that a priority - depression is so bloody
debilitating, that i think it would be hard to 'fix' other areas of your life when that's holding you down. Are you getting good help for it?

How many psych's have you seen? Are they treating you for your depression? Or do they tell you that you don't have that either.

When was the last time you had a full phsyical and bloodwork? Rule out any health problems, as well. Be sure to have your thyroid levels checked. Symptoms mirror ADHD.

If your doctor (psych) is not helping you...maybe it's time to switch doctors.

Asylum has a great point... as do the other posters. Keep us updated.

You experience sounds similar to mine, but I like learning new things, and look forward to it. The problem comes from the same negativity and distraction that you are reporting. It gets in the way of the process and leaves me feeling very frustrated and then depressed in the longer run. The confusing thing is that I learn some things very easily, and quickly, and others are just frustrating. I found that this has a lot to do with the environment that I'm in when I'm learning. I discovered that if I'm in a group situation, where there is an instructor who verbalizes the instructions and then people take turns carrying out the instructions I do much better. In this situation I'm able to hear the instructions and then see them being carried out, by example (this would mean that I'm not the first one). I learn more from the watching of the examples, and the mistakes of those who are taking a turn before me. When I was a kid I noticed two groups involved in this kind of practice, the ones who competed to be first to try something, and them me, with a group of others, who were competing to delay their turn as long as possible.
One on one lessons like driving instruction are difficult for me. The focus is difficult because I'm the only one there, and there is the anxiety of being the sole subject of attention by an instructor. The anxiety being a result of my negativity regarding my performance and being afraid of my zoning out and not paying attention, because I know it's coming, and I don't have control over it.

I can definitely relate to this. Although personally it seems to be involving absolutely everything performance wise; listening, talking, and generally knowing WHEN to talk. The anxiety seems to progress when i'm zoning out aswell, like you I know it's happening but there is absolutely nothing to stop it. Strangely, at the time it feels so.. soothing to zone out but you know you are heading for trouble when you do so. I think knowing it is worse than not expecting it.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help you learn new positive self-talk. You can do it yourself. If the negative thinking is the result of depression, it needs professional help. People don't always recognize their depression because it clouds judgement.

Driving lessons are a lot to deal with at the best of times. I took my driver's test with a little old Vauxhaul - the kind where the turn signal was this little lever that shot out of the side of the car and the "stick" was on the steering column. :D
The test was almost forty years ago and I can still retrieve a mental video of the whole test. I was so nervous, but the tester was very kind and patient. As we drove into the parking lot at the end of the test, I stalled the car and muttered something about only driving automatic transmissions in the future. LOL! :D NOT!

I still drive stick and the hydraulic clutch on my VW is the sweetest clutch I've ever driven. :cool:

I've tried CBT and it worked to some extent..i did this with a psychiatrist last year but she seemed to think i passed alot of it myself. She said there was absolutely nothing wrong with my communication but I really cannot believe that. The main reason being that it's impossible to tell a person's real quality in communication with only 2 people present (in my case, just me and her) in my opinion. Anyway I have a book about CBT and it explains quite alot about how to deal with certain situations and turning criticism into helpful resources, I dismiss alot of it but like you say it could very well be my depression clouding my judgment and me not knowing about it. :(


What you're describing are the symptoms of your depression, so wouldn't it make sense to concentrate on treating that if possible? (That sentance wasn't supposed to sound as judgy as it did.) Personally i would make that a priority - depression is so bloody
debilitating, that i think it would be hard to 'fix' other areas of your life when that's holding you down. Are you getting good help for it?

I suppose so, yeah. Although i just feel so baffled about what to start on as i know i have other things wrong with me. And i know you didn't mean to sound judgy, so don't feel you did. :) I definitely felt alot better about myself post medical treatment, so i guess you're right maybe i should get that out of the way first.


How many psych's have you seen? Are they treating you for your depression? Or do they tell you that you don't have that either.

When was the last time you had a full phsyical and bloodwork? Rule out any health problems, as well. Be sure to have your thyroid levels checked. Symptoms mirror ADHD.

If your doctor (psych) is not helping you...maybe it's time to switch doctors.

Asylum has a great point... as do the other posters. Keep us updated.

Probably around 4-5 in the space of 3 years. I'm not entirely sure if they are treating me for my depression formally, but they say i am depressed so i guess they are not dismissing that. Right now i'm seeing a counseller talking about my problems in general. She gave me a form/questionaire thingy to fill out regarding how i have felt in the last week. I'll be seeing her tomorrow and hopefully she can assess me further.

Last year during my psychopherapy, i was put on Paxil for a few month and gradually put onto another drug (very small red tabs, can't remember the name) and they seemed to work wonders. Prior to all this, yes i did have a thyroid check and it came through negative, so i've kind of scratched that.

I'm just so frustrated because whenever i go to see someone i feel like i'm not doing enough talking, just replying 'yes' 'no' etc. I don't think that helps alot really. Maybe i need to learn to be a bit more open. :)

Thanks for the replies guys. Sorry if i didn't make alot of sense in my posts, i'm currently in a bit of stress from work and i'm finding it hard to think properly...took me about an hour to reply :$

I'll keep you all updated with everything!

Barry

Good luck, tomorrow. Let us know what you find out. I'll be interested in knowing.

Personally as soon as i walk into a doctors or phychiatrists office i spontaneiously develop lockjaw - the whole atmosphere is so - i don't even know what the word it - intimidating? I just find myself nodding and agreeing with whatever i'm being told. I'm getting better at speaking my mind as i get older and more ****ed off, but i wished i could have spoken up when i was younger, because so much was misunderstood. The communication has to be two-way for the problem to be fully understood, otherwise the Dr is just kind of 'fishing in the dark' (to quote Will Smith in I Am Legend!)
I think the worst thing about depression is that you walk around in the world with these depression goggles - everything you see and percieve is skewered, you can't get a handle on things, you spend a lot of time being confused. So i would say if you trust your doctors go with what they suggest, because they may have a better perspective than you do at the moment.

One thing I've done before.. is write it down on a list..as I think of it..and hand it to the doctor when they walk in the room. That way, if I've forgotten something..it's already on the paper.