View Full Version : I just need someone to explain it to me...


Princessc
05-26-08, 05:32 PM
I am cranky today so please fogive me....

I just need someone to answer some questions for me and to just explain it all to me.

I have been treating ADHD for so long and now think there might be Bipolar.

One thing I have noticed in my life is that I have some major cycles in my life. THey seem to happen every One and a half to Three YEars.

Life will be going along just hunky dory then poof it all goes to
*%*@. Is that a Bipolar thing or what ?

How do the cycles work ??

Princessc
05-26-08, 07:37 PM
Please dont let this post get lost. I really neeed help. I am so down today and I cant hide. I have 11 yr old twin Girls and I have to look after them. I just need someone to care and help me to answer some of my questions. I am soooooooo emotional that I am crying at the drop of a hat.. Now how do I explain to my kids that I am alright and it is not their fault....

PLEASE HELP ME ....

Mary
05-26-08, 07:47 PM
Please dont let this post get lost. I really neeed help. I am so down today and I cant hide. I have 11 yr old twin Girls and I have to look after them. I just need someone to care and help me to answer some of my questions. I am soooooooo emotional that I am crying at the drop of a hat.. Now how do I explain to my kids that I am alright and it is not their fault....

PLEASE HELP ME ....

I tried to answer this a few minutes ago..and got an error message.

Princess... if you're seeing someone for your ADHD... talk to them openly and honestly. Tell them you think it's possible and explain to them just as you have with us that you have been wondering and about the cycle pattern you're seeing.

I'm here if you need me..and big hugs.

Princessc
05-26-08, 08:14 PM
I am not seeing anyone for my ADHD. All the "shrinks" I have seen are not ADHD doctors and I just get bored of them and feel that they are not helping me.. I am tired of the mood swings, weight gain and loss.
(Well I like the weight loss)

I just want answers and thought my doctor would help but it seems that I have to do all the work myself. I DONT WANT TOO. I just want to feel better.

(*&%%$#^*)(*()*^&^%^$*&))^&*%)&*%#

reesah
05-26-08, 08:20 PM
I just want answers and thought my doctor would help but it seems that I have to do all the work myself. I DONT WANT TOO. I just want to feel better.

(*&%%$#^*)(*()*^&^%^$*&))^&*%)&*%#


Ah yeah I know that feeling. The doctors can only do so much, it's YOUR life and health after all...no matter what you're going to have to learn about what's going on, either from them telling you or from your own research. That's how you can fix it

I totally understand this though, it feels like so hard to get started

Mary
05-26-08, 08:22 PM
I can understand that. Have you read through the informational posts in the bipolar section?

Although I have helped many people... I don't know as much as I should about Bipolar.

Hopefully others will answer your post. In the meantime, you can always pm me if you need to talk. :)

Princessc
05-26-08, 08:24 PM
Yes that is true. I am very good at starting, but so good at finishing. I want to get better.. But the meds sound scary. It seems like if you even forget one dose you are messed up. I am worried about what all this will do to my kids. Not that they havent had to deal with my mood swings, fudge ups, and all the jazz...

I am also hating these shakes I am having .... ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Mary
05-26-08, 08:31 PM
Yes that is true. I am very good at starting, but so good at finishing. I want to get better.. But the meds sound scary. It seems like if you even forget one dose you are messed up. I am worried about what all this will do to my kids. Not that they havent had to deal with my mood swings, fudge ups, and all the jazz...

I am also hating these shakes I am having .... ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

... do you have anxiety attacks, too?.... along with the mood swings, etc?

.... when you're afraid.. of what the meds might or might not do... think of what it might be like for your kids to have even the slightest chance to see a whole different you, if they did work.

Not everyone is the same. Why not give it a chance? It might open up a whole new world for the 3 of you.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Princessc
05-26-08, 08:38 PM
Oh Honey, you have no idea how much I want to treat this. (Yes I believe I suffer from Aniexty attacks.)

I just want someone to tell me what it is and how to treat it...

Mary
05-26-08, 08:46 PM
can you explain your cycles in a bit more detail? It may help me get a better idea. If you can't...that's ok.

Princessc
05-26-08, 09:03 PM
I will explain them when I get home from Girl Guides...

Mary
05-26-08, 09:09 PM
thanks

~boots~
05-26-08, 09:21 PM
hugs Princess xxx

Princessc
05-27-08, 12:39 AM
Accually I will explain it in the morning.. I am tired...

Mary
05-27-08, 12:47 AM
Ok.. :) me, too.

Princessc
05-27-08, 04:24 PM
Ok I will try to explain what I am going through ....

The low self esteem, the mood swings, (MOOD SWINGS), all the ADHD stuff.

I notice that I will be living life all good and stuff, then I end up screwing it all up. I lose my job, have to move, emotionally I sprail down and it all goes to *&%^.

Expalin more later. Brain is not working ...

Mary
05-27-08, 07:12 PM
k...thanks

Princessc
05-27-08, 09:05 PM
I cant sleep sometimes, need to much sleep, cant concentrate, headaches, feel like more then one person is living inside my head..

mctavish23
05-27-08, 09:41 PM
Princessc,

I've posted on this before, so I apologize if you 've already read it. If not, then hopefully it might be of some help.

There's a research based "One Way Comorbidity" between Bipolar Disorder & ADHD.

Specifically, over 90% of children/adolescents with Pediatric Bipolar Disorder also have ADHD, while the opposite isn't true (virtually no one with ADHD has Bipolar).

The key is the genetic contribution of Bipolar within the family.

There are five research supported characteristics found to accurately distinguish between the 2 groups:


(Keep in mind that we're talking children/adolescents here): However, the KEY is a Family History of BPD


1) Elevated & expansive moods (swings) of varying lengths of time ( the length of time determines the type of Bipolar Disorder); followed by Symptoms of Depression;

2) A decreased need for sleep ( these kids can get by on just a few hours of sleep and then wake up full of energy the next day ( research strongly supports this characterisitc);

3) Flight of Ideas / Racing thoughts ( so many thoughts in their head they can't get them all out);

4) Grandiose Behavior ( for little kids that's usually displayed as "bossy"): otherwise, it's more like the kid is the world's greatest expert on everything,etc.);

(I realize that every kid does that. However, the ticket is Bipolar Disorder in the family.Then you start asking these questions).

5) Hypersexual Behavior -this is usually found with little kids who excessively masturbate, self-stimulate, and/or rub themselves on furniture, or make sexual statememts,etc.

This isn't as common as the others. The key point is that it isn't about sexual abuse or molestation;although most parents understandibly think about that first.

Once again, without a Family History of BPD, then you don't ask these questions.

The exception would be if there's no formal diagnosis of a relative(s) but it's strongly suspected AND the kid shows overwhelming symptoms of the just mentioned characteristics.

Once again though, for that to be true, then ADHD within the family would be a MUST.


Lastly, also please keep in mind that ADHD is a lifespan disorder;in that the symptoms change over time.

Also, Girls with ADHD look MUCH different than boys in the way they display symptoms.

I realize that's alot,however,the truth is that's not even the "tip of the iceberg."

The BPD reference is from Barbara Geller,MD (2003)

The ADHD in Girls is from Patricia Quinn,M.D. ( not sure what the year is)


Hope this helps.

Good Luck.

tc
mctavish23
(Robert)

Princessc
05-27-08, 09:47 PM
Thank you . I was a adopted as a Baby and dont have any of my Birth families mental history.

I have been wondering if ADHD was diagnosed without looking for Bipolar. Or maybe my meds are no longer working...

It is just so frustrating....

mctavish23
05-27-08, 10:14 PM
Adoption is like a "Pandora's Box."


One of the possible assumptions to consider is whatever necessitated the adoption.


Either way, I wish you much luck and hope that you feel better, as well as find answers to your questions.

tc

mctavish23
(Robert)

Mary
05-27-08, 10:18 PM
.... I would see if a med change could help...it's worth a shot anyways. :)

Princessc
05-28-08, 12:06 AM
Yes yes it is.... I am achy and tired and alittle Witchy.. Thank you for all your post back. I will be back tomorrow to probably complain more..

Mary
05-28-08, 12:08 AM
Hugsss Princess... I'll see you tomorrow.. going to lay down before I do get a headache. :)

DotwithADD
05-28-08, 03:10 AM
Hugs, Princessc! Sounds familiar... sounds like you might have depression and/or PMDD (Premenstral Dysphoric Disorder)... Does this happen once per month? Ask your gynecologist... or when you go to the "shrinks" (hopefully you'll find a good one... there are some shrinks that are not helpful - I've seen some like that too), I hope you've already told him or her of any other medications (if applicable) that you are taking - whether over the counter or prescription. There was a time I thought I might be bipolar, too... I was throwing bad fits and yelling at my husband and son, then I'd feel so guilty, I'd go into our room and cry like crazy. Now after I've been taking Paroxetine (Generic form of Paxil CR)... I haven't had anymore "episodes". Also, it's possible that it could be the beginning of "Peri-menopause". I've been taking Paroxetine since before I was diagnosed with breast cancer and it helped while going through chemo (which can contribute to depression tendencies). Exercise helps, too. I just said a prayer for you... I don't know if you believe in prayer... but prayer has always helped me and others.

Take care... here's more hugs....!

adhdogwalker
05-30-08, 03:13 AM
Hi PrincessC,

The "what's wrong with me" process can be draining both emotionally and intellectually. It's especially daunting when your brain is not working properly. I say this from experience.

One of the main ways that psychiatrists can diagnose bipolar is that there is a seasonal pattern to the mood changes. This is not true of everyone but there is a very strong correlation. I had every single symptom of childhood bipolar yet was only diagnosed with it last summer. I was functional-ish until right after my first year of college when I was 18 and then all heck broke loose. I was really bad until I was 24 (Britney Spears has nothing on me- so embarrassing), then better for a few years although my mood shifts were still pronounced (to everyone but me- when I am in any given state, I think that it's going to last forever), I wasn't nearly as bad off. I then have been really bad again the past 2 years (I'm 31 now).

Now that I am aware of the source of the problem, I have gone back and looked at my journals (I have 10 years worth) and realized that my mood shifts have occurred within several days of each other, every single year. I then looked at a calendar of solar events and saw that they occur in sync with solstices, equinoxes, etc. I then tried to figure out why some years were worse than others-- I discovered a pattern there, too. In years when the weather was extreme, I was much worse off than when it was average for the climate. I have had 2 psychotic episodes in the past 2 months (the last one was mixed, just last week, and the weather was crazy. However, I did notice that right before the weather would change from storm to sun, my mood would change a few minutes before hand).

I have been okay somewhere and then lose my job/quit, move, break-up with someone and do all sorts of other crazy things. Unfortunately, this happens more than every 3 years. More like every 6 mos-year.

Perhaps it would be helpful if you sat down and wrote out the years/seasons of when your life "disintegrated." You also might want to list some potential triggers and the theme that consumed your thoughts or overarching emotions. Are particular months worse than others? (Feb & Aug are the worst for me) In so doing, you might be able to discover a pattern. Not everyone who suffers from Bipolar has a pattern as exact as mine, but there might be some sort of connection you could establish between different factors. As is oft mentioned on the forums, you might also want to start charting your moods (I don't bother as I have a journal and they're the same every year). You could then bring these into your psychiatrist and that might help him/her to establish if you are truly ADHD and need a new med, suffer from an Anxiety disorder or if you have some form of Bipolar.

Good Luck in figuring all of this out-- it's much harder to do unmedicated and lacking in insight than when you're medicated properly and understand what's happening. I suffered like this all these years and I had no idea that I was anything more than ADD and "eccentric." Then I looked back at my journals and realized I had had numerous psychotic episodes over the years. They were all secret and bizarre and I was always with a bunch of crazy people, so I'm not sure if people noticed or if they did but just didn't say anything.

There are lots of people here on the forums that have been through the same road that you're on right now so there are many that can help answer your questions and offer their support.

Spongedaddy
06-08-08, 06:53 AM
Yes yes it is.... I am achy and tired and alittle Witchy.. Thank you for all your post back. I will be back tomorrow to probably complain more..

It is not complaining, it is suffering and it is good to come to a place like this so you know you are not alone. It is also important to remeber that BP will amplify the junk that we carry in our heads every day. If you look at the world around us a huge percentage of the people considered "normal" are just as bloody crazy, if not more, than those of us with these conditions.

One of the things I wonder is if you don't cycle during every year, but it builds up to a point where it gets really bad every year. I strongly suggest going to a bookstore and looking through, if not buying, a book or two on BP disorder and see what you think. Also, are you or can you see a Psychiatrist...hopefully one that has some history with successfully treating Bipolar disorder.

We all know what it's like to burn in this hell. It is not fun, not fun at all and trying to deal with it and kids seems like a Herculean challenge. You are not alone. PLease hang in there the best you can and come here all you want. Also, if you can find some space when you are not really gone remember that the mind can only phiscally think of one thing at a time. If you can have a bit of calm and find something to distract your mind you can at least replace some of these burning thoughts with more enjoyable ones.

If the girls are still into it maybe you can take them to a movie or something where your mind can let go a bit.

I hope you feel better.

Zoie
06-08-08, 12:24 PM
I have had the DSM-IV-TR for over a year, as well as other books describing bipolar and other mental disorders and I had no idea that I was bipolar until a friend of mine started describing her and her husbands symptoms. It was like a light went on. I had no idea what a manic episode was. I thought I was just caffeinated.

If you can ask friends or people in your life that you trust talking with about this. Talk to them about behaviors. "Have you noticed times where I had an abundance of energy for no apparent reason." etc. Just pick a symptom or behavior and see what other people have observed.

Then take this to your doc. You may have to do a little research to find a pdoc in your area that works with bipolar (and knows what they are doing) Then you can have some sort of evaluation or conversation to see if the diagnosis really fits.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Current_diagnostic_criteria_for_bipolar_disorder

"The current diagnostic criteria for bipolar disorder is that Bipolar disorder describe a heterogeneous illness--one that comes in many different forms. The frequency and intensity of mood swings varies greatly from one person to the next. Individuals with Bipolar Disorder may progress to a different category of Bipolar Disorder if their illness gets better or worse over the course of their illness. The DSM-IV-TR (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-IV-TR) details four categories of bipolar disorder, Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Cyclothymia and Bipolar Disorder NOS (Not Otherwise Specified)

DSM-IV-TR (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disord ers), a diagnosis of Bipolar I (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_I) disorder requires one or more manic or mixed episodes. The criteria for Bipolar I (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_I) (Bipolar Type 1, BP 1, or BPD 1) are defined in the DSM-IV-TR (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-IV-TR). The current or previous course of the illness may include hypomanic and depressive episodes also, but the diagnosis of BP I requires only one manic or mixed episode. A depressive episode is not required for a diagnosis of BP I disorder, although the overwhelming majority of people with BP I suffer from them as well.

Bipolar II, the more common but by no means less severe type of the disorder, is characterized by episodes of hypomania (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypomania) and disabling depression. A diagnosis of bipolar II disorder requires at least one hypomanic episode. This is used mainly to differentiate it from unipolar depression. Although a patient may be depressed, it is very important to find out from the patient or patient's family or friends if hypomania has ever been present using careful questioning. This, again, avoids the antidepressant problem."

There is more information on that website. I just copy/pasted the first few paragraphs.

Good luck. This journey was terrifying for me at first. And as I realize more and more the impact of my behavior on my daughter, I am grateful I am seeking help. Its like I had blinders on when it came to how I interacted with her and other people. Now that I am becoming aware of more and more behaviors, I can work towards altering my patterns and become a better parent/friend/daughter/etc.

Spongedaddy
06-09-08, 08:57 AM
Hey, it's been a couple of days. How are you feeling?