Dear Fellow ADD'ers: Just got back last night from a week of travelling for spring break...to Florida and Massachusetts...Florida was great...saw friends...but then went to Massachusetts...and spent time with parents...bittersweet....as always....they are getting older....and I feel lucky that they are both still around and together...and yet....I found myself feel haunted by stuff in the past....especially when I would be with them together....painful stuff from my past....it's as if revisiting my past....and so did feel some depression which I realized was old....the type of depression I used to feel a long time aga before being treated....and yet there were lighter moments too when I got to see my adorable 7 month old niece Jessica...who is my brother and his wife's adopted daughter...she is just adorable....so special...this little girl is so alert...she smiles at you when you walk into the room!! and she laughs and is just a barrel of fun...those were the great moments and actually made the difficult moments of being at "home" worth it....I received some belated birthday gifts as well...which were great...I guess too even though being with my parents was difficult I realize they will not be around forever and who knows when will be the last time I will see them? Neither of my parents has ADD by the way....my mom might, but I doubt it...any adult ADDer's here think they "inherited" it from THEIR parents? Anyway, just wanted to share that....I know I need to be grateful for my parents and love them for who they are despite their flaws and realize I cannot turn back the clocks of time....no matter how much I wish for this to be so.....It was nice to return back home last night and sleep in my own bed....

Joan

Joan,

Thanks for sharing your recent experience. Even though you can visit, as the saying goes..."You can never go home again"

As for inherited ADD...My mother was diagnosed later in life with attention deficit disorder, although she is unable to take medication due to complications with her liver.

As for whether or not you inherited attention deficit disorder from your parents, the symptoms of ADD can vary greatly from person-to-person in addition, some people have grown up learning how to cope with their, albeit mild, symptoms and so you may never have noticed that one of your parents actually had ADD.

As for sleeping in my own bed, my room is no longer there at my house as my father has turned into his room and I suspect that my legs would hang over the end of the bed given that I'm now 6 3...lol

I'm glad you had a nice time at your parents house, and were able to take away some good memories with you. :)

Thanks Andrew, nice sentiments and thoughts....yes I've always suspected my mom of having SOMETHING...terrible mood swings definitely but unfortunately not willing to help herself....and do you know what? My mom makes herself absolutely crazy with lists!! She makes lists of lists...and watching it - oh my God...this last...that list...where's my list??? lol....I mean as ADD'ers we are SUPPOSED to make lists but my mom...well....anyway, no my bed is no longer at my parents' house any longer either...they turned my entire bedroom actually into a strorage room...so slept in my sister's old room which is still there intact....

Still a little jet lagged this evening...as now I am back on Pacific Coast time...I have just gained back three hours I lost...

THanks for nice words Andrew....

Joan

Joan,
I know what you mean by bittersweet. I just got back from visiting my mother in NJ. It was a wonderful visit and I enjoyed being there very much. As mom was probing about how I was doing with the 'single' life I felt guilty because while I was listening to her the thought 'She just doesn't get it' kept going through my head as if I was a teenager again. She has my best in heart, I always know that. As for the ad/hd, I have it, two of my three sons have it, my brother and his son and his daughter have it. While he was not officailly diagnosed we are all pretty sure that indeed my dad had it too. Something is floating the genes somewhere I think.

Phil: I relate to that...my mom never asks about my "single" life outright..BUT I KNOW she always wonders (in her mind) when I'm going to find my nice Jewish husband :) seeing as both my sister and brother are happily married and I have never been and am in my 40's...etc...but as you say, she just doesn't get it...but I do know that these things come in their own perfect time...do they not?

Joan

Joan, I understand that bittersweetness. Every time I get together with all my sisters and mother or father in one place, I think how lucky we have been not to lose one of us yet and one of my biggest fears is the day i have to deal with that issue. I will be in need of serious help when that time comes. My sisters are my best friends.

One of the things suspected about ADD and a few other disorders is the low amount of dopamine and seratonin causing these disorders. Now, other disorders associated with the same chemical imbalance are depression, addictions, ocd etc. So we can come from a family of alcoholics , as I did, and have ocd, or bp or adhd or ptsd or all of the above AND the added joy of addictions. Or we can come from a family of neat freaks, or busy people, or addicted artists, etc. there is no one text book picture of these disorders or how they can be hereditarily linked. And many times it isnt so important except for diagnosis or therapy. Being OCD i had a hard time letting go of my past and still do to this day. Its as if letting go means forgetting ot me. I have to remember that letting go doesnt equal amnesia.

Thanks Crissy, as usual, well said...so you think that OCD people have an unusually hard time letting go of their past??? I certainly do...and I like that letting go doesn't mean forgetting about me nor does it imply amnesia...Thanks....

Joan

Well, I dont know so much as most OCD'ers, we each have our triggers and quirks. I'm OCPD, which isnt so ritualistic as it is right-wrong, good-bad, black-white, organization, cubby holes, labels, sorting etc. I fear losing things, i fear disorganization, it equals chaos and uncontrolled aptmospheres and enviroments in my psyche. I MUST admit wrong doing, I MUST confess sins, etc. I mistakenly associate letting go with blowing it off or not taking my due "punishment" or whatever.

Okay Crissy...I totally relate to your symptoms...incredible...fear of losing things...fear of chaos...needing my own cubby hole...I relate to the good/bad and black/white...yes gray areas are difficult...and owning up to sins??? YES.....I JUST owned up to one with a friend of mine...that's been on my mind for a few days now.....I wrote to him and "explained it ALL!!".....I suffer from chronic guilt...Okay, so do you like want to take responsibility almost TOO much for your part in things? What is OCPD...is the P personality??? Enlighten me please....:)

Joan