When I'm going to some store to buy stuff, I find myself putting my hand in my wallet many meters away from the store and preparing to pay.

Same thing goes with everything else. I need to prepare several minutes before the simplest of things.

This comes with my fear of having to improvise. It's nearly impossible for me to make a quick decision. When I'm driving in a new area, and unexpectedly see an exit which is 95% certain to be the one I want, I can't take it. I ignore it on impulse. I always get lost while driving, and I totally freak out.

So what about you? Do you feel the need to prepare your self for ridiculously small things, or feel the need to program yourself before making a tiny decision? Do you make very clear stupid decisions because you weren't given enough time to think?

Well, I relate to some of what you say. The thing is that once I get used to a particular store, place or drive - I don't have any problem. However, great problems arise with anything unfamiliar. I go to the same stores, drive the same way, do the same things. If I must drive somewhere new, I print out maps of several different views and zoom levels (preferably exit numbers as well) so that I feel like I know exactly where I'm going. I'm completely freaked out by city driving and even more so about city parking. I just avoid it.

My favorite new word in therapy is "unprecedented". An unprecedented situation for me would be anything new - anything that I don't have experience with - anytime that I don't know ahead of time exactly what to do/where to go/what will happen/how to act. These types of situations are so disturbing that I generally avoid them. So in this way, I relate to your "fear of having to improvise". Perhaps much of it comes from previous experiences of feeling foolish and embarrassed in new situations. It always seemed to me that other people were better able to "wing it" or effortlessly "improvise" their way through new situations, where I would be left standing in confusion feeling like an idiot.

Anyhow, I'm happy with sticking to the familiar. Of course there are always times when we must step out into unfamiliar territory, and so I just prepare myself as best I can so I can form an idea of what to expect. And when driving anywhere new - print lots of maps!!

Just about everything you just said applies 100% to me as well. However, the problem here is more complicated. The idea of having to print maps overwhelms me. Finding a printer for that and getting it to work is a nightmare. I'm printerphobic.

Also, there's the fact that I'm COMPLETELY oblivious. I've lived in the city for 15 years, and I have NO clue how to get around the city. Yes, I'm pretty good around the places I know well, but those are extremely limited. So driving is a nightmare for me, and parking is even worse.

This is why collage was the closest thing to heaven for me. It's a completely self-contained place, and I could stay there for the rest of my life without having to leave it. It was the best two years... no.. the only two years of my life that have any significance. I almost have no memory of my 18 years before collage because I did my best to forget about it.

If I continue to talk about collage I might start crying. I dropped out because I couldn't study, couldn't read and couldn't do any of what was required of the students. Leaving collage was the absolute worst thing to happen in my life... I have an intense emotional attachment to that place. Hopefully I can still go back, but I MUST find a way to overcome my ADD first, or I might get kicked out for good. My greatest fear is to not be able to get back.

Sorry for changing the subject a little. I had to let it out. You can ignore the second part of this post.