Can I talk about this? Is this an appropriate topic of discussion?

I first acknowledge that I have an anger issue.

I'd like to find out where it comes from,
I'd like to talk about ways I can deal with it,
ways to calm down
and ways to keep myself in line.

Suggestions are MOST welcome and appreciated.

Much thanks,

Mr. Zachary

I'm not certain this is an appropriate topic for the forums here. We are not medical professionals, nor are we qualified to help diagnose or identify the cause of your apparent deep-seeded anger.

I caution all that proceed, that this is a potentially dangerous exercise.

Topics such as this should be discussed with one's own medical professional.

Oh. All righty.

This is a problem, like all the other things we talk about. Why not encourage discussion and ways of dealing with anger?

Just my two cents, I am not a doctor or a shrink or anything:

When I went to get my diagnosis I was given a ton of tests. Later when they told me the results anger came up several times because many of my answers showed a negative attitude. If I was angry it was with myself. It was more like frustration and a feeling of hopelessness that can accompany being ADD and not knowing. You wonder why you keep screwing up, why don’t achieve what you should, and you get frustrated.

I don’t think this is the same as being belligerent or hateful and wanting to cause others harm. It is more sadness than anger. You just have to learn to forgive yourself for not being perfect. Nobody’s perfect.

No matter what the cause, anger is just not worth it. If you spend your life angry and hateful, constantly plotting your revenge, you will never achieve anything. It takes a lot of time and energy to hate. If you take that same time and energy and devote it to being successful (whatever that means to you), you will be successful and you’ll probably not even remember why you were angry.

Anger is like a stray cat. If you feed it it will come back. If you ignore it and move on, it goes away and is quickly forgotten. Don’t feed anger, let it go.

This thread makes me....... angry.
Seriously, if theres one add topic that needs to be adressed it's this one.
My sister gets so angry at her kids it makes me sick. Makes you want to just go far far away.
I struggle with this just like all of you -(if your honest)
Dr. Amen has some good suggestions in his book 'Healing ADD' . Diaphramatic breathing is one that seems to help me somewhat .
I get angry mostly when the weather changes. Wish I understood that whole thing better.
Oh, well- Better to be ****ed off than ****ed on.

-songwriter

My new shrink says turn that energy into something positive/constructive. In my case the anger is bottled up and comes out as depression or in passive-agressive ways. Again we are getting outside the ADD realm but if the anger is caused by childhood issues, she suggests doing some physical activity to bring it up, then when it's present, call up your logical brain to understand where that comes from then the next step is to figure out a positive way to address that situation in your life and think about that while the emotion is still alive in you.

If the anger is due to a chemical imbalance, there are meds to try but I suppose these techniques are still probably helpful.

I grew up in a household where anger was misused. It was more like rage rather than a healthy expression of emotions. I associated it with "horribleness" instead of realizing that this was simply one of the many faces of human nature. It took me a long time (much of my early adulthood) to accept other people's anger as well as learning how to own this emotion myself.

At the end of that day however, nothing should really be that important that it causes one to lose self-control. Letting people know where your boundaries lie is one thing, but shouting and screaming are another. Perhaps those of us with ADD can get frustrated more often than others. But personally I don't think that anger problems go hand-in-hand with this particular condition.

Letting go of the small stuff is much easier than getting caught up in it.

Me too. I can't deal with angry people and get very uncomfortable. The better response is self assertive boundary setting and or positive action to right the wrong.

Originally posted by quiet tiger
I grew up in a household where anger was misused. It was more like rage rather than a healthy expression of emotions.

Zachary,


I have some info on anger management. Please drop me a line and I will give you more details.

Optim8tor

That user is no longer on this forum. You are encouraged to post your information here for all members to benefit from. Thank you.

For me, what others may perceive as anger is impatience, frustration, and disappointment. As a ADDer who cannot stand to wait for anything, I get very impatient and this bubbles out. To my wife, I looks like I am very angry. Also, when I am hyperattentive on something, anything that takes my attention away and disrupts my train of thinking or action pushes my buttons. To complete projects, I must plan them exactly to keep them "Murphy proof" and when the inevitable obstacles crop up, I have trouble handling it with aplomb. I think the first step is to realize the you are upset, recognize the triggers, and do what you can to avoid being put in the situations that set you off.

I plan things so I do not have to wait (stay out of rush hour, shop at off times). I try not to hyperfocus if I am not alone. I leave wiggle room in my schedule.

Another trick for me is to leave myself an out or option. If I have to drive during rush hour, I take surface streets and not the expressway. If it gets too slow, I take smaller streets. Better for me to move slowly than not to move at all. If I am hyperfocusing, I leave the tv on in the background. Keeps me from becoming overly focused. In my projects, I keep sketchbooks and notebooks with other, alternative ideas just in case things get balled up or out of sync, I can go to plan B.

Above all, I take my meds very regularly. They help. And I pray. Amazing what having faith in a God above can do to take the pressure off. I lay it at His feet and let HIM worry about it. An old saying - "Let go and let God." Works for me.

yeh i am angrer when i feel bad about myself than when i do not
but at least i keep it to myself and do not act out or destructively
you know repressed WASP culture

just acid stomach and hypertension
but there are pills for that =)

For me, anger was easier and more comfortable than dealing with any other emotion. Although it took a bit to get me there, I channeled all of my emotions into just one venue. Even when I was happy I would undermine it and go down the anger highway, which, needless to say, made me angrier. Therapy has helped me recognize and understand WHY it is that I have chosen anger. It’s what I saw, what I understood, and what I acknowledged as acceptable. It’s a long road to travel, to get where I am now. I truly have to thank those that understood who I really was and that knew there was more to me than just my issues. Now I'm dealing with my anger and it's wonderful to feel each emotion as it comes along.

I can relate to most of the replies here. I think that anger can be one of the most destructive aspects of ADD. Before I started on Meds my anger would burst into a temper often. I was just so frustrated I didn't know what else to do. After the frustration would meet a certain level, my ability for clear thought was largely diminished. I am so glad that I was able to find some reason for the anger. My wife and son are my biggest reasons to seek help. As "Arbuck" talks about, meds, prayer and faith in God have changed my life.

Winn good hard exercise isn't a bad thang either as I've come to believe.
ian

The right amount of sleep (not too much or too little) and good nutrition seem to help curb my anger. I never quite get to the exersise, although with my 7 month old son, I am starting to get more and more.
Paul

Having a 17 year old helps with motivation I guess:p:p

I definitely have anger issues. More rage actually. I have heard that Vikings had warriors they called Berzerkers that in the heat of battle used their rage as a means of becoming invincible. Although they sometimes killed their own men in the process. Most in my family have a very bad temper. I can control it to a certain extent, but if anyone has information on controlling it please let me know.

I definitely have a lot of anger. Anger at the world in general because I'm unable to find a job. Anger at myself for my failure to find work and be a productive citizen. Anger just about everywhere else.

Some men here have used exercise to moderate their anger. Have you tried this? A good heavy workout works wonders for me. I don't even care how I get it but I must be into the 70% range of my maximum heart rate for at least a half hour four times a week to see the benefits.
Hope this helps.
ian

If what you experience is anger for no reason or irritability, it could be a chemical imbalance. For me there is difference when I am angry because of a frustration and when I am angry as an effect of my bipolar disorder. When I am manic, NOTHING works to control my anger, not even the best techniques.

meldroc,

I hear what you're saying...I have the same issues in my life...no job, roomates that are weirdo's...not good...I need to get on medication(which I'm trying to do through Kaiser)...FRURSTRATING!!!!!

I think anger for someone with ADD has a number of causes

. . . related to depression (which many ADDers have)

. . . from getting easily frustrated due to attentional difficulties

. . . from overreacting to the remarks of others (misunderstood / misperceived)

. . . from poor impulse control so anger is expressed (& overexpressed)

. . . just being tired and cranky from a "tired brain" at the moment . . .

I know that I struggle with all of the above. Anger is definitely an issue for me and I think many others with ADD!

Hello:
A real newbie here, just registered. Perusing posts of those on line, (Hey...ADHD here!), and have to ask, what specifically are you angry about? Where does it stem from, or whom is directed at, simply put..."What IS it? It appears I am the only one who found your post "incomplete", and therefore could not respond to it w/out further knowledge...although many did...regarding there own feelings and/or reasons for their "anger" issues.
Not trying to be a ADHD Jerk..truly would like to know what your anger is about, or just felt within, when you submitted this post...
Best Always,
Cat

I hear you...I have the shortest fuse of anyone I know. My wife bought me a book called Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men : How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life (Paperback)
by Thomas J. Harbin. (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/index=books&field-author-exact=Thomas%20J.%20Harbin&rank=-relevance%2C%2Bavailability%2C-daterank/002-5156391-5165615) I know it sounds like one of those stupid self help books but it actually had some really good points and exercises. I would recommend it. As far as how much it helped me? A lot. I do not tend to get angry as often and other people have even noticed. Hope this helps.

Anger and Frustration, two things I continue to struggle with. I have boughten many books on Working out your Frustrations, Anger Workbook, and Self Assurance Help books. They seem to all be good for a short time, then its back to anger and frustration. Mostly if you stop and think once the anger and frustration is down, think about what you were thinking underneath the first initial feeling, most of the time, it is something about yourself, like feelings of unworthiness. For myself, I battle with this constantly and talked to my doctor about it, he thought it might be depressing so he prescribed me prozac, I used that for two months and didn't feel any different, so I went to him again for something different. Now I been prescribed Klonopin and that works very good. I take 2-3 doses a day, depending on if I am stressing out so much I get angry then I know its time to take a dose. Some days I go without taking a single dose, other days I take it 3 times during the course of the day. But once you take the Klonopin I noticed within minutes a calming feeling and its feels as if all the anger and frustration doesn't matter anymore, at least until the medicine wears off, but most of the time for me, if the problem that caused my anger is gone by then, then I have nothing to worry about, but if its still there, I try and tackle it again for a short time, and if that doesn't work I take another dose.
My suggestion is you should talk to your regular doctor about your anger, and frustrations, and maybe ask him to do an evaluation on you. Perhaps prozac, or paxil or even Klonopin could help you.

Hope this helps. :rolleyes:

When I feel the rage I just go for either a small walk, go sit in another room, write down my feelings, or talk to a close friend for help. I have a tendency to get the rage over little things that aren't that important in the scheme of life. Doing one or all of these things seem to focus me back to whether or not it is worth me blowing up over.