View Full Version : New and could really use some help

06-11-08, 02:32 PM
I am so glad I found this resource as I feel like giving up right now. I really could use some help.

My 10 year old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in the United States 5 years ago. The doctor in the US recommended several different medications and thought Concerta would be best for her (IIRC). We relocated back to the UK shortly after the original diagnosis. We were managing okay (not really but we were keeping our heads above water) until two years ago. I gave birth to twins and haven't been able to hand hold her to the extene that I used to be able to. I spoke to our GP and he agreed it sounded like ADHD and spent her onto a consltant paediatrician. The consultant agreed she had ADHD after working with her and meeting with her school. He referred us onto the ADHD team at the hospital to get more in dpeth help. We moved right about this time to a village 20 minutes away because my daughter was being bullied, beat up and terrorised everyday but we chose this village because it still supposedly served by the NHS trust we were working with. Well, these doctors and members of the ADHD team met with her new school (where she had been for all of 3 weeks), said everything was fine and that her home life was fine and wrote me a letter today telling me that she would not need to be seen in the follow up clinic even though they agreed she had ADHD.

My daughter is not doing okay. Everything is a major battle for her and our home life sucks... big time. I feel like we are constantly at home another's throats. She is struggling in school, has trouble making friends, cannot follow a direction to save her life and everything that goes along with ADHD. She is now also a danger to her 2 year old twin sisters. She is far too rough and has hurt them numerous times.. all accidentally of course.

I don't know what to do. I spoke with her old paediatrician in the US and he states based on what I have told him as well as her school, she needs to be medicated but he cannot treat her whilst we are living here. My daughter's father still lives in the US (and he has adult ADHD and is medicated for it) and he thinks I should send her to live with him so he can sort this out.

I am lost. I don't know what to do. The home health ADHD person we had said medication would make a world of difference in her life. The doctor in the US agrees but I cannot get the doctors here to give her the medication that could possibbly help her. They all agree she has ADHD but no one wants to help her. What do I do? Is it possible to pay and see a private doctor for this? Should I send her to live with her father (which I really don't want to do)?

06-12-08, 05:03 AM
Hi there

Really sorry to hear of the battles you're having and the conflicting 'support' / information you're getting from your local health team. Can understand why you feel like giving up but since you know that is not what you want to be doing perhaps it would help to redirect this sense of helplessness by pressing again for action and help from your GP or local mental health team.

My first thought was that three weeks is no time at all for a school to assess how well your daughter is doing since she will still be settling in - I think I'd be inclined to be like a dripping tap and just keep on at them to reassess and reassess and reassess.

Also, who in the schook made the assessment - was it your daughter's form or year teacher or was there a SENCO involved in the process?

I don't think there's anything to stop you seeing a private doctor about your daughter's ADHD - that was the route I took after first making sure my GP would prescribe meds if I got a dx privately.

It does not have to cost the earth but costs can vary according to whether you go to a specialist centre where the process of dx can take place over several hours (I think I was quoted about 700 or to an independent psychiatrist, such as I saw, where I paid about 200 for initial consultation and about half that for followup visits.

On this forum there are a couple of posts listing psychiatrists specialising in ADHD in children.

I hope someone else on here can give you some more advice re what to do.

There are some online support groups in the UK including ADDERS dot org which has a forum for parents of ADHD children plus some good info on resources. There are people on there who have been in situations similar to yours and who would be able to direct you and support you. You have a greater chance of your message being read by someone living in your area and who knows what support and assistance there is - or who knows the best route /action to take.

edited to add: re your concern about your daughter inadvertently hurting her siblings - I would urge you to contact ADDERS because there will be other parents on there who've experience this particular aspect as well. Have you brought this aspect of the situation to anyone's attention already?

Hope this helps and good luck. Please let us know how you are getting on.


hope I'm not breaking any forum rules by suggesting this alternative site /resource on this forum but as a parent you do whatever you have to do to get help.