View Full Version : Help?

06-15-08, 08:46 PM
A friend of mine has depression and ADD. I spend a lot of time with her and started to understand how she`s functioning, even when it is somtimes hard too understand her from my view as a "normal" person.
She tried to explain to me that she has problems to get and accomodate positive remarks I give her sometimes, and she often just remebers the "bad" stuff I say to her and starts self loathing (maybe an autoaggression in a psychological sense (I think :confused:).)
This happens unconsciousness to her.

My question is: Is it strictly neurological?
Can I do something about it, maybe train her to be more aware of it?
How can I bypass this "mechanism"?

I realy want her to have a better confidence.
She wants to have a better confidence to, and tries things like saying three good things she can before going to bed.
Maybe stuff like that can help:confused:...

06-15-08, 09:49 PM
My question is: Is it strictly neurological?

Hard to say for sure. I believe in nature more than nurture. My own experience is I tend to have negative thoughts for apparently no reason but when I'm on an antidepressants I have for less negative thoughts.

But cognitive behavior therapy(CBT) basically says you can force yourself to think happy thoughts when your mind "auto-generates" the bad thoughts. Thats a difficult process of hard work and a lot of ADHDers may not be able to put in the work effort to make CBT methods have a profound result

Can I do something about it, maybe train her to be more aware of it?
How can I bypass this "mechanism"?

Not sure. Thoughts are generated for faster than conversation. While your
trying to stress that one idea is false your friend may generate several more
in her mind.

Again I believe in nature more. You could both try daily aerobic exercise and you could keep her motivated.

06-16-08, 12:16 AM
IMHO - The best way to help your friend may be to get her to a good therapist, and possibly on medication.

Personally - my own ideas about my lack of value, the meaninglessness of life, and general hopelessness were never changed or helped by someone close by telling me that I'm "OK". Because, as theta said - within the time it took for them to say it - I'd made a hundred silent rebuttals. Because I KNEW different. I was NOT OK, and someone (even therapists) telling me fuzzy, happy things wasn't going to change my mind. Even if I could hear the rationality of it and intellectually agree - on the inside, nothing was changed.

I have made some progress now. It's taken a new therapist and sifting slowly through the negative thoughts - finding their roots and seeing for myself that they are not rational. Working - not to replace them with warm happy, thoughts - but with realistic views. I am on medication as well, because I was too depressed to do this work otherwise.

06-16-08, 05:35 PM
Is this something I could do to a cetain degree?
I know she`s going to a psychatric ward, and I`m not sure what kind of therapy-thingies she has...:confused:

06-16-08, 06:37 PM
I don't think ADD causes self-loathing in all people.

It sounds like your friend has other problems too.