I have made a breakthrough with my psych this week. I realized there is a huge difference between SM(self medicating) and A(addiction).

I spent my high school years SM with alcohol. I learned i felt more open and accepted by my peers when i was drunk so i drank alot. Later in life I never developed any social skills so i turned to taking and selling drugs to meet and talk to people.

Now i am 28 years old and i still have no social skills but i do have medications to help me with very high anxiety due to ADD.

My big breakthrough came this week with identifying that i wasnt a drug and alcohol addict. I was self medicating. Trying to subdue this over powering and most of the time paralyzing Anxiety.





Can any of you relate to this?

Yeah we had another thread where people were complaining about the over use of the word addiction in non-chemical substance-abuse. Interesting the
common thread is pre-existing mental/neurological disorders. Those people
with existing disorders are more likely to developed a disruptive addiction.

In any situation moderate use of a potentially addictive substances/behavior can have positive effects. The very fact stimulants are first line treatment of ADHD proves that fact.

You have to put a quantification on addiction to give it a meaning. If its life disrupting its negative if it is beneficial its treatment. And even doctor prescribe treatments are often riddled with side effects. So a person could certainly self-medicate and not meet the definitions of a drug addict.

Society has put the extra negative connotation on drug addiction that it really does not deserve(by making it a crime). Its a medical problem like any other not a moral defect or voluntary behavior.

Hmmm. trying to think how to say this. In my case it was both. When I began to use alcohol and drugs (and by "drugs" I mean illicit substances), I was certainly self medicating. My entire life had been misery, and I thought I had finally found the answer. Even thought of alcohol and drugs as my "medicine" at one time. But SOME people, like me, DO become addicted. I wanted it all the time, every day. If I wasn't drunk I was hungover. In the end the addiction took over my life and made me far sicker than when I began.

Self-medicating can easily lead to addiction. Just wanted to point out that the two things are not mutually exclusive.

yeah i completely aggree maybe they are cousins

after i self med for a while it would become an addiction.


something i needed but it was to help me fit in. and it worked. I am not sure what i seeked more being not me or being high.

I do know after i didnt want to hang out at the bars or partys my desire for drugs dwindled quickly. It seems for me i am very anxious in social settings so i overdrink or in the past i used drugs. I went through some outpatient treatment but the 12 steps didnt fit. i just kinda quit

It has come for me with age. I now am no longer interested in going to clubs so i find no reaqson to have drugs nor do i crave for those drugs.

Its nice and now I am intersted in getting healthy and becoming the best i can be.

One of the things i need is the right sets of meds, and i am workin on that.

I am just really happy i have identified so much qabout my past

dude, self medicating, is the caterpillar, that turns into the butterfly of addiction.

....same thing....different stage of metamorphosis.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-medication


Some mental illness sufferers attempt to correct their illnesses by use of certain drugs. Depression, for example, is notorious for being a trigger of alcohol, tobacco, cannabis, or other mind-altering drug use. While this may provide immediate relief of some symptoms such as anxiety, it may evoke and/or exacerbate some symptoms of several kinds of mental illnesses that are already latently present, and may lead to addiction/dependence, among other side effects of long-term use of the drug. The theory that drug dependence or addiction results from self-medication for the distress caused by a pre-existing condition was introduced in 1974 by David F. Duncan and Edward J. Khantzian in independent publications. This theory has come to be known as the self-medication hypothesis. For example, sufferers of post-traumatic stress disorder are prone to self-medication, as well as many individual without this diagnosis which have suffered from (mental) trauma.

Occasionally an individual will attempt self-medication for physical illnesses. For example, it is believed that Kurt Cobain's use of heroin partially stemmed from a painful stomach condition.

The difference between self-medicating and addiction is something I am really struggling with at this moment. I am suffering from 2 days without meds because I took more than my prescribed amount during a very stressful period at work when I needed to be completing a ton of paperwork. I took more because it helped me get the job done. It was also a period when I had more social obligations to fulfil and taking the meds always helps with my social anxiety. So, was I self-medicating or abusing my meds because I'm addicted? Not sure. I had a long talk today with my mom about it and she seems to feel I am self medicating because if I was adequately dosed, I wouldn't be out of meds. She said that if I took what I did because I felt I needed to in order to complete all the paperwork I had and I was taking more than my prescribed dose to get it done, maybe my prescribed dose isn't enough. In any case, my mom has urged me to talk to my psychiatrist today about being out of meds and I am really worried about it because I'm afraid she will just think I'm an addict and won't prescribe me anymore of my meds. But these last 2 days without meds have felt like an eternity. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin. I can't go another 10 days sans meds!

if oyu are eneed ing to take extra meds to deal with extremem situations that is exactly what mi curent psych is talkin to me a lot about. i have a lot of anxiety and i need a certain amount of meds to be ok

i just need to get the right meds prescribed

if i was prescribed right it would no longer be abuse but it wold be use

the part that trips me up is i am still drug reliant

I feel like i could go on and on about how i spent most my teenage early twenties self medicating to a point you would call it abuse.

I think there is a line between abuse and self medicating that each party has to define for themselves

looking back i feel all my use ALL my incredible amount of use was casued for the simple reason of wanting to be cool or fit in or to talk to a girl. I used drugs and alcohol so much i never realized i had add not to mention i never developed the bsic coping skills most of the population has.

of course this is coming from someone who has been sober for 5 years now from drugs.

Its weird how now looking back the things i did seem more like a movie i watched than my life.

Now it doesnt seem to be a movie that is even appealing to me. Unfortunaltly it is still appealling to the few friends i have kept. Sure they have slowed down alot. It seems though they sure do like to reminesce about the good old days. I usually just let em talk and nod when its my turn.

I know though i would rather talk about anything else. It is like he insists on telling me the plot of this dumb movie i watched. I told him i like it to make him feel better. So he keeps goin with the story.....

Personally all my priorities have changed i am married now with a dog and 2 cats that we treat like children. Our biggest problem is budgeting our money, although lately i received a dui(i blew a .082). Even though you would think our lives are headed down the right way. My wife and i both have good jobs we are buiding a small business.

It seems todays headaches are just as menacing as my earlier ones. I spent thousands of dollars millions of brain cells and countless friends trying to find the answer.

I have just recently realized there is no answer. Just a series of related events and my only job is to enjoy my life and enlighten others when an oppurtunity shows itself.

This recently found direction has brought a new calm over me. Dont get me wrong i am still borderline hospitable. But, My ADD with meds seems to be takin the right track. my therapist helps me with my psychiatrist to help me with some different tools to get things in order.

I still feel though with all these dr's and visits and therapy and prescriptions i am still self medicating.

I feel after all the research i, and i know you all do, know more than the dr's. luckily i have found a set of pscho and psychi that speak to each other and take my advice on what meds i should try. I spent probably 6 years heavily self medicating. I had thought i was a drug addict. Any drug addict. I would use ecstasy daily at one point just taking them to stay awake. then we found alot of ketamine, next was coke and meth. I would use it one daily until i would go crazy. then move on to the next. It does seem like drug abuse but it also seems as soon as i learned a drug didnt give me what i wanted(acception) i would move to the next.

finally i was arrested for possession of a controled substance. followed by no jail time but i did have to do 75 hr outpatient treatment.

I did my usual thing pouring all my energy into learning about recovery the 12 steps i went to aa and group therapy twice a week, After awhile though it like everything else seemed to stop working. I had been clean and sober for 7 months. I had all my court issues worked out my d.l. back moved in with my now wife. I still felt like i didnt belong. I would rather avoid social gatherings even though when i would get there i would enjoy them and they would enjoy me.

So now years later (i am 28) i have just been self diagnosed with add, i am seeing dr's and speaking to my mom who is a nurse daily. I have pushed my father from a full time position with our company due to his drinking(our relationship is the best it has ever been) I am finally doing some work on my life that is going in the right path.

I have spent and will probably spend my whole life self medicating. Who else is gonna do it? And who is gonna know me better? I am the one that has chosen to go to the dr and seek out meds and therapy.

I think it is time for a lot of us to take the responsibility of our own self medicating. I think we all want a similar outcome. The ability to be calm and relax every once in a while. The ability to realize when there are some things we can not change, and accept them.

We just need to get those street self medicators into a dr's office. Where they can realize all healthy content people medicate. They medicate by going to church or talking to their family or by taking meds and seeing a councelor.

I know i have tried every way i know to self medicate to normalcy and I look back and appreciate every failed medication and failed attempt. I know these werent failures now, they were a life worth of lessons of how not to self medicate.




sorry bout the long post i guess i was a little talky

I hope you all have a day filled with education.

Man i went through a lot of not so good ones though

I think the attempt at self medicating leads to the addictions but not out of some self destructive BS - I think it is all to correct an imbalance and as some one who recently quit smoking cigarettes I am all to familur with the beast of addiction. I did a decent amount of research and come to a conclusion

Because it is against my ADD nature to re-type crap I will simply hyperlink to my thoughts on the topic.


Addiction + self destruction = load of dung (http://www.addforums.com/forums/blog.php?b=290)

TRYING TO DIE, AND TRYIG TO BE OK.
.....very, very different. yes.

The difference between self-medicating and addiction is something I am really struggling with at this moment. I am suffering from 2 days without meds because I took more than my prescribed amount during a very stressful period at work when I needed to be completing a ton of paperwork. I took more because it helped me get the job done. It was also a period when I had more social obligations to fulfil and taking the meds always helps with my social anxiety. So, was I self-medicating or abusing my meds because I'm addicted? Not sure. I had a long talk today with my mom about it and she seems to feel I am self medicating because if I was adequately dosed, I wouldn't be out of meds. She said that if I took what I did because I felt I needed to in order to complete all the paperwork I had and I was taking more than my prescribed dose to get it done, maybe my prescribed dose isn't enough. In any case, my mom has urged me to talk to my psychiatrist today about being out of meds and I am really worried about it because I'm afraid she will just think I'm an addict and won't prescribe me anymore of my meds. But these last 2 days without meds have felt like an eternity. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin. I can't go another 10 days sans meds!


I have been "taking as needed" for more than a decade. The need to meet the necessary effective dosage of dexedrine has become a struggle against many obstacles. For example, the things that you mention like the opinions of family and friends, the fear of an open dialog with your psychiatrists because she/he might misinterpret or judge you and the over whelming dependency upon the apparent benefits from the relief of ADHD symptoms.

The dilemma for us caused by the systemic failures of the behavioral health profession to supply proper care, the social stigma surrounding stimulant drugs and the laws that control access to our medications is overwhelmingly frustrating.

The lack of control in my life over what should be my right decide in my best interest and well being has and does cause me much anxiety and suffering. Considering the methodology of psychiatry and social expectations this problem cannot be resolved. I rely on my opinions and judgment concerning my life and health. It is very unfortunate not to be able to trust the opinions of the experts but they are irresponsible, unaccountable and indifferent therefore untrustworthy.

Good luck!

Ya! What imsietze just said!

I'm afraid she will just think I'm an addict and won't prescribe me anymore of my meds. But these last 2 days without meds have felt like an eternity. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin. I can't go another 10 days sans meds!


Franny - This is what makes me uneasy about taking "medication" on a regular (daily) basis. I have read many responses like your response on these forums, where people are totally useless and feel horrible on one or two days without their meds. Isn't this addiction? I have taken the meds very infrequently over the years, but would hate to become a slave to them. Maybe some people can take medication for days on end and quit without any withdrawal symptoms. Here's the definition of addiction from Wikipedia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addiction

Franny - This is what makes me uneasy about taking "medication" on a regular (daily) basis. I have read many responses like your response on these forums, where people are totally useless and feel horrible on one or two days without their meds. Isn't this addiction? I have taken the meds very infrequently over the years, but would hate to become a slave to them. Maybe some people can take medication for days on end and quit without any withdrawal symptoms. Here's the definition of addiction from Wikipedia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addiction


I'd call it 'dependence'

It all comes down to how you define addiction.

I get withdrawal symptoms when I stop taking my Dex. suddenly, although they aren't severe. I'd imagine that most people who take meds regularly would experience this to some degree. It's just the brain adjusting...the same thing might happen if you go from working full time to part time.

Franny - This is what makes me uneasy about taking "medication" on a regular (daily) basis. I have read many responses like your response on these forums, where people are totally useless and feel horrible on one or two days without their meds. Isn't this addiction? I have taken the meds very infrequently over the years, but would hate to become a slave to them. Maybe some people can take medication for days on end and quit without any withdrawal symptoms. Here's the definition of addiction from Wikipedia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addiction


yeah this is addiction kind od like a person without kidneys is dependeant on dialysis

I am not sure but, maybe you should think before you call most people on here addicts(in not somany words)

Yes. Yes. and Yes!

I did a lot of drugs as a teenager and actually was in a long-term rehab at the age of 16. It was behavior mod and I was able to learn regular life skills to get by and after I was off the drugs, I didn't miss them, but I never felt like I was "all there" without them. I didn't get super high on the drugs, they just made me feel normal, like I was a regular person when I used them (stimulants, imagine that!). They did take a physical toll, hence the rehab, but honestly, I walked away from them and never looked back. I have never touched them again and never looked back. BUT...until this year, I wasn't diagnosed and haven't felt like myself my entire adult life. Until I realized what my problem is and what I can do about it.

My mother, who is in AA, could never accept that I didn't keep going to NA all those years or something. She didn't understand that I wasn't *really* an addict and never struggled with staying off drugs after I got completely off of them. It totally flips her out that I can have a glass of wine or a beer and then not have another.

Franny - This is what makes me uneasy about taking "medication" on a regular (daily) basis. I have read many responses like your response on these forums, where people are totally useless and feel horrible on one or two days without their meds. Isn't this addiction? I have taken the meds very infrequently over the years, but would hate to become a slave to them. Maybe some people can take medication for days on end and quit without any withdrawal symptoms. [/URL]

I don't see it this way. Here's the thing...I have hypothyroid. I take thyroid supplement to keep it regulated. If I skip my meds 2 days in a row, I cannot function because when your thyroid dips, so does every other part of your body and your emotional well-being as well. I have to take thyroid every day for the rest of my life if I want my body to function the way it is supposed to.

If you were on a medication, say, to thin your blood because it clots and you don't take it for a couple of days...your blood will start clotting.

Those of us who are taking (ANY) medication are treating a medical condition and it's not any different than someone who needs insulin or thyroid medication or heart or anything else.

What some of us are taking DOES have the potential for dependence, but I don't think just needing it daily alone indicates that.

it is what it is...
......not everyone is ADHD.....they're drug addicts.

either from upbringing, or masking pain.

.....If i knew I was ADHD I would have chosen the bottle with my name on it.
not the shards.

.......but, meth goes way up and beyond adderrall, it stripped my amphedimine screws, and
meds don't work like they WOULD w/o the damage I inflicted.

it's a different drug entirely.

...adderrall IMPROVES the quality of my life.
Meth Destroys it....

.....all I got left this time is my soul, and I'm keepin' it.

......and, my roomate keeps my meds in a lock box, and gives me the dose.
I'm too lame to be trusted with 90 pills.

.......I confuse "speedy" and "focused"

I wanted to ask about the Dexedrine. For over 3 months now I haven't taken my meds. I was in an accident and didn't want to complicate things.

At first it seemed like I was doing fairly well.. But lately I can tell by the reactions of others that I 'm all over the place again. Seems like the symptoms are amplfiied I can't even keep up with myself, my body won't take it.


I say and do things right off the cuff , like before but worse , much worse . Mouth in gear before I can really think about what I'm saying. Too many different subjects running through at once.

Anyway this week was unusually stressful to me and it's like I've split.. I can't really think straight and do all kinds of " wired " activities to keep me occupied.

I don't want to do the meds... period... I've been of the street junk for too long that it seems like everyone I know insists that by doing Dexedrine I'm
just feeding my addiction .

However... when I did amphets.. I felt normal for a change.


I don't know where I'm going right now.. except I'm sure this group will understand and not condemn me right off.

I can't slow it down to a healthy pace ....

AL, take your meds, as prescribed.
.......if we don't, it leads us back to......D'oaH!

im rite here with you <TABLE cellSpacing=6 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD noWrap>red03stang (http://www.addforums.com/forums/member.php?u=23939) http://www.addforums.com/forums/images/statusicon/user_offline.gif<SCRIPT type=text/javascript> vbmenu_register("postmenu_602923", true); </SCRIPT>
Member
</TD><TD width="100%"> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>craps hard i did the samething you did and im pretty sure when im 28 i will be just like. peace yo