for all you scholars out there how did you do it?

to me success has always been being able to gain high levels of education and a job that follows... i have always wanted to go to university but could never do it. i know i have the capacity to learn and i have the aptitude to do well ( in whatever i am extremely interested in) but i can't get passed the crushing fear of failure and the inability to concentrate, organize and motivate myself enough to stick with it for long enough to get a degree. i always told myself the school system isn't right for everyone and it just doesn't work for me. i never felt like i would be smart enough to actually complete a degree...

i love my job as a baker, and i feel as though it's the first time in my life i can actually stick with it and do well. yet i never had to go to school for it, anyone could "get" my position if they apply... ( keep in mind it's not a job for everyone and i have seen many people leave due to the stress, and inability to bake food properly amongst other things) yet i still don't feel un-successful...

my husband is a lawyer, both my sister-in-laws are a physio therapist and an accountant. my mother-in law is a nurse and my father in law owns his own company employing 30 people in an office building he owns... i can't help but to feel inferior and never meeting up to my own potential.

for all of you with add and have been able to go to uni, how did you do it?

frankfarter, what would you like to study?

i wouldn't mind getting a business degree. i want to own my own business one day...

Just what I was thinking after reading how much you enjoy being a baker. Sounds like a good plan.

I just had to study more than others... especially when I haven't been able to take my meds (Forgot to find a new pcp and make a dr's appt so I could be referred to a psychiatrist. Then the day of the appt, I had the flu and had to reschedule - but the psychiatrist was booked up until August). But, I still managed to make 1 A, 2 B's. But unfortunately, I made a D in Human A&P, but it's still passing. I know I could have done better when on meds (Metadate). I was on Metadate (ADD meds) during Spring 2007 semester, made 2 A's and 2 B's... was on the Dean's List (kind of like an honor roll). So, you can do it... if you want it... it can be done! If you're not taking meds, yet, you'll just have to study more than others. I had to all during school - elem., middle (we called it Junior High, then - for you "youngsters"), and High School.

My problem, when after I graduated from H.S., was not knowing what to major in. So, just tried different majors. I just wished I knew then what I know now... I would have just majored in "General Studies" just taking the required general courses (like English, History, etc.), then when I decided (maybe) on a major, I'd only have to concentrate on the required courses relating to that major.

In my case, I didn't know what career path I wanted to take until a couple of years ago... I've changed my major 3 times before I got it right.

I only have 5 more courses to take before I graduate! So, it can be done... just with more effort than other people. I had always wished I had a photographic memory... that would be wonderful - but I guess, I was supposed to work harder. It makes my success that much more meaningful.

Hiya:

For me, until the end of high school it was very, very easy. University was a different matter. I switched majors at least four times then went back to my original. Every term beginning, and I mean every one, I sat in a shrink's office debilitated by fear of failure. At the time I thought it was depression which is ironic because if any of them had suspected my anxiety really was from AD/HD my academic choices would have been very different. I kept going because I felt I had something to prove. After graduating I had no idea what I wanted to do and worked for a year before starting law school. I think this work experience was key to success in my choice. I knew if I failed at school I could work, that I would work and academic failure wouldn't define me. More mature students seem to have a more balanced, rational approach to studying. I loved law school and that, absolute hyperfocus, got me through.

I think that's what's really important. Do what you love. The study of law was great but the practice of law was different. Now I'm at home with my three kids and I bake a lot :) including my own bread. And I feel genuine pride in what I do. My kids are happy and proud that I'm home. I couldn't run a daycare, I couldn't work in a bakery. I'm happy bringing and sharing joy with those whom I treasure on a daily basis.

I think there's something noble in being able to provide the "staffs of life". All your in-laws, all those seemingly "accomplished" relatives would be useless if they were tossed back four centuries. You'd be providing for them.

Who says accomplishment is defined by professional standing? Education and intelligence are not limited to classrooms and pieces of paper. They can never reflect pure ability and more importantly, determination and drive. You don't need four years of university to learn business. I bet you you know more than most students in a business programme. I bet it would be easy for you to do exceedingly well in a college programme and you would get more practical and much less theoretical skills. Apply that, and you would be defining yourself in terms of success, as you should be now.

So who's better? A master baker or a junior physiotherapist? Someone who produces a gourmet product line or an associate lawyer? The hospital nutritionist or a nurse? Balance how often we require the services of a lawyer, physiotherapist, nurse, accountant or businessman against how often we need to eat.

And, btw, from my experience of baking, most people can't, especially not on a regular basis. It's an exacting science with many, many variables. Tee hee. I know that from my sourdough experiments :)

I think there's something noble in being able to provide the "staffs of life". All your in-laws, all those seemingly "accomplished" relatives would be useless if they were tossed back four centuries. You'd be providing for them.

i never even though of that... thanks!

And, btw, from my experience of baking, most people can't, especially not on a regular basis. It's an exacting science with many, many variables. Tee hee. I know that from my sourdough experiments

hahaha don't even get me started on sourdough, it's been my bone of contention at work!!!!

I only have 5 more courses to take before I graduate! So, it can be done... just with more effort than other people. I had always wished I had a photographic memory... that would be wonderful - but I guess, I was supposed to work harder. It makes my success that much more meaningful.


i also wish i had a photographic memory.... btw good luck with your last 5 courses!

gogogo, thanks for your post... it really gave me a lift up!!! i find it frustrating always feeling like i have never met up to my potential. i have all the dreams and desire in the world to be the top whatever but getting past my self doubt and fear of failure is overwhelming. your post helped put it into perspective.

thanks!

i also wish i had a photographic memory.... btw good luck with your last 5 courses!

Thank you for the "luck"

I think I heard that some ADD/ADHD'ers have a photographic memory... is that really true, any of you have a photographic memory (that have either ADD or ADHD)? How can that be???

Just curious

First of all, don't compare yourself or try to "match-up" to other people. Everyone is different. Our society is so caught up in prestigious jobs and money!

BTW, do what I did...cheat your way through a degree! :) seriously though, I wouldn't reccommend this, but if your symptoms are so bad, and you REALLY have tired everything and you want the degree very badly, this is what I reccomeend. In all my school years I never got caught, lucky?I guess so.

great post, gogogo(whatever your screen name is! yowsers!)

Gogogo, I could have written your post it so closely tracked with my experience!

Frankfarter, I think you should do what you love, regardless of whether it requires a degree. I know LOTS of lawyers that would be thrilled to be able to bake -- or do ANYTHING but practice law!

I think my experience was different because, at the time, I didn't even know I had ADD. Ignorance was bliss... well, sort of. I didn't know I had a disability so I just kept on beating my head against the wall. If I'd know, I probably would have given up.

You should not give up! You can do whatever you dream. You just have to find ways to compensate and work a little harder. But don't think you need a degree or a certain kind of "career" because of how others view you. Real self esteem is based on knowing you're doing your best at something you love.

If you choose to pursue a degree, just try to take it on in manageable bites that won't overwhelm you.

Cameron, are you NUTS?

Whatever your field, if you cheat to get through, you will end up without the skills to actually do the job. You'll have a piece of paper that doesn't mean anything and no better preparation for a career than when you started.

First of all, don't compare yourself or try to "match-up" to other people. Everyone is different. Our society is so caught up in prestigious jobs and money!

it's not so much about the money, i guess for me reaching these particular goals i have always envied in other people. i always want to feel like i have done something extraordinary, beyond regular with my life. and so far i feel so average and there is nothing special about myself. if i obtained a degree and was able to get a prestigious job and all i did was stay at home i would still feel better about myself because i have done something extraordinary with my life...

i have always envied these a-type aggressive organized go getter smart personality we often find... it's funny because i have these attributes but my inattentive add, fear and insecurity keep me from following through. im really not trying to make excuses though.

You should not give up! You can do whatever you dream. You just have to find ways to compensate and work a little harder. But don't think you need a degree or a certain kind of "career" because of how others view you. Real self esteem is based on knowing you're doing your best at something you love.

chickatty, you always have great advice!!! all my life i have felt like i am suppose to do something special with my life, i don't want to just "settle" for mediocrity...

all my life i have felt like i am suppose to do something special with my life, i don't want to just "settle" for mediocrity...

FF: You know this is symptom of ADD, don't you? :D aka "sense of internal restlessness" Stimulants have really helped me calm that edgy sense of something else, something better, something stupendous. They've also changed my sense of reward and given me a sense of accomplishment in the more everyday tasks. Thank goodness! Have you started treatment yet?

Have you started treatment yet?


i haven't started treatment yet. i am waiting for my gp do give me a few names... within the next week or so...

FF: You know this is symptom of ADD, don't you? aka "sense of internal restlessness" Stimulants have really helped me calm that edgy sense of something else, something better, something stupendous.


this internal feeling of restlessness and underachieving ( on the most part) is due to add????? you mean to tell me all these years of feeling not good enough and as you say "something else, something better, something stupendous" can be helped? and i can maybe one day feel at calm in my head??? im starting to feel like there could be a light at the end of the long dark tunnel!!!!

How did I get through uni? Sometimes I don't know, but I failed a bunch of classes along the way. Mind you I find out about my ADHD in my third year of school.

1) Registered with disability center
I'm pretty sure every school as some kind of organization, center, etc. devoted to helping students with disabilities. So I registered with mine. They will have access to various services like tutors (if you need them) but also they are the ones to provide you with letters to your profs about special accomodations.

2) Took a reduced work load
Even with my medication, I cannot take a full course load. Now I might if I wasn't working, but somehow I doubt it.

3) Extensions, special exam centers, etc.
Get extensions on all of your assignments. Hey, maybe you might be able to hand it with the rest of the class, but you might as well ask for the extentions. And go and write your exams in the exam centers. They're quieter, MUCH less distracting.. lovely.

4) Let profs know from day 1
This one can be hard. You dont' know how profs are going to react. Some are supportive, some aren't. At my school, it's a right to be treated fairly and these accomodations aren't something special. So if you think you're going to have some trouble, get some help either through your disability center or ombudsman. This is YOUR degree, it's not the time to be a wall flower.

michiko74, excellent advice! thanks...